This illustration describes me almost perfect. • sometimes I quiet bcs I don't really know how to react. • it takes me to have a deep thought only for make an action. • I love to observe, sometimes I take a long time just to observe. Too many observation sometimes made me have many consideration. And it makes me difficult to make an action. • I hesitate to take an action, sometimes it made me a passive person. • I'm not brave to make a decision that takes more than one person with it. Bcs of my "gaenakan" feelings that come too often. • it's hard for me to say no. Yea that's bcs my "gaenakan" feelings too. • I repress what I feel. I don't find it usual to say what I feel. • I think I'm introvert. But everytime I test myself on mbti test on the internet (ok maybe that's not that valid or reliable), the result always says that I'm extrovert (extrovert and feelings' that used for make a decision are always for sure). • I'm not pro at starting conversation. I'm always afraid that I'll bother someone. • I always take care of what I'll say. I'm always afraid that I'll say something wrong. • I'm such a overthinker. Maybe some people don't take something seriously, but I can't help myself with it. • I prefer to listening than speaking. I find it comfortable when people trust you with tell you their stories and I never want to ruin it. So my respond will be, "oh iya, terus terus gimana?". • if I like someone, I'm always the one who wait bcs I don't want to bother him. I'm afraid to be the aggressive ones. Sometimes it makes me crazy bcs all I can do is nothing (my bestfriends know this very well, hahaha). Why I share this? Bcs I want people to understand what I feel, remembering that I can't say this to person that doesn't have such an intimate connection with me. And yeah, bcs I'm psy-stud so that's important for me to know myself well.

How toxic it is to love someone who insists on loving only the parts of you that are placid and pretty, but rejects the parts of you which hold secrets storms, for those are the parts of you that need love the most. - @nikita_gill ------------------------------------------------------------ "Aku cinta pantai," katanya dengan mata berbinar. "Kenapa?" "Kamu ngerasain ga sih, ombak menyambutmu hangat, air pantai yang terkecap tak pernah berubah rasa, kamu bisa mengejar ombak dan dikejar kembali..." "Apa kamu tetap cinta pantai di saat pasang tiba?" "Maksudnya?" "Saat pasang, hal-hal yang kamu sukai bisa jadi tidak ada," Dia menatapku, kami terdiam.

Knowing myself session.

What I think about myself from my glasses?

• I love to spread the positivity to the others. Maybe some of you don't feel it, but I think I've tried my best.

• I'm the best eater. I never too picky about food and I always eat food until its tetes terakhir lol.

• Maybe I procrastinate task too often but I always try my best to never give up when the difficulties come.

• I always try my best to be a best listener. Maybe some of you don't like the way I don't give a respond to your stories for a while. But believe me, I'm always listening to your stories while preparing my best respond.

• I'm good at remembering. I can remember the details from your stories even the details you don't remember then.

• I'm a pretty optimistic. Have you guys ever hear me said, "no I/we can't"? Difficulties are always there, but those aren't the reason for us to surrender.

• I always believe that people are kind (that's why I always ended up disappointed. Lol, jk). There is always a reason behind everything. So when I got disappointed, I always try to think that they don't mean to do that.

• I love peace so much. Sometimes I don't react because I hate fuss that much.

What's about my other side?

• I'm not the type of talkative person. Maybe some of you that know me in a brief thought me as a boring person. It's just because I prefer listen to speak.

• I'm way too chill, maybe procrastination is my middle name. Fyi, my close friends call me "Miss Chill". Actually I don't really like it until I realize that I'm that chill😩

• I don't really like to show what I feel.

• Sometimes I don't react because I'm lazy to join a debate.

• I'm a passive person. I'm always the one who wait because I hesitate to make a move.

• I always think too much. Even if you don't give a respond to me, I'll always wonder did I do something wrong. But ya, I'm not showing it.

I think I'm phlegmatic kind of person (after doing the "cocoklogi" based on Hippocrates' the four temperament types).

Any opinion or any addition?

Dua kemungkinan, aku yang terlalu, atau dia yang tidak terlalu.

Tya, saat gabut.

With the curiosity, he asked, "What is your biggest fear?" . She held her breath, smile and answered, "I think my big...gest fear is to live the rest of life with someone who doesn't love me at all" "Like the water tries to touch the shore, no matter how hard it tries, it always goes with nothing" "Like the shore doesn't do anything to make water stays" Again, she said, "Believe it or not, I never underestimate the power of love" "To live without love, it's not a life"

Time heals or what?

Sometimes you never know, how deep is the wound, until the one that made the wound really matters to you. The wound will be okay, until so long time passed by, or until you're too long pretend that you're okay. Maybe you have to adapt with the wound. So the time can heal your wound. Or you make yourself deal, that's not the last wound. And you pretend that you're strong, to face another wound.

Post pertamaku. 18 Maret 2017. Kalau gaada mama dan papa, aku gaakan bisa nulis post pertama ini. Untuk mama, terima kasih udah jadi penyemangat #1. Walau kadang kita masih sama2 keras kepala, masih sama2 gamau ngalah. Tapi akhirnya aku yg ngalah karna pengen curhat. Untuk papa, terima kasih udah jadi penyokong dana pendidikanku, udah jadi orang teguh yg menjadikanku apa aku skrg. Walau kadang ada jarak diantara kita, ada kekakuan diantara kita, aku tetep sayang papa, apapun keadaan kita. Tolong pa, kurang2in lah sibuknya hmm. 2017 ini, tepatnya tanggal 20 Oktober nanti, umur aku tepat 2 dekade. Dari sekian banyaknya tugas perkembangan dewasa awal, sepertinya belum ada yg hampir beres dari sekian tugas2 itu. Gapapalah, dewasa awal masih lama berakhirnya hehe. Ga juga tapi, aku sedang berusaha keras biar tugas2 itu bisa selesai tepat waktu. Bismillah, 2017ku dimulai😊 (telat mulai karna ini bulan Maret, tapi gapapalahya).