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Failure
a/n: where my ncea buddies at yooooo...
I stared at the paper.
“Alright, so I’m going to go over the answers of this internal, and then you can come up and ask for reasoning behind your grade.”
The teacher spoke as if today was just a normal, everyday kind of day. Like it was just another Monday. Like the paper with everyone’s hard work infused in the ink, the marks on the paper—like they were just… another test he had to mark.
I kept staring at the front of my cover, the red pen blaring at me like an out of tune band. My heart still pounded in denial—an uneven drum beat. The failure of the band.
Not Achieved.
Not Achieved.
Not Achieved.
My breath hitched in my throat as my eyes darted over the black letters above the test. “Three credits,” mocked the writing. My credits. Not Achieved meant I hadn’t earned any from this test. I was going to fail the whole year—
“Woah, I got excellence!” My friend to the left of me gasped audibly. She was loud—too loud. I wanted to put my head on the desk and shut out the world, but my eyes were stuck staring at the red pen. As if I stared at the writing long enough, they’d miraculously change to an excellence.
“Eh… I only got merit…” The boy on the other side responded dejectedly. Only merit. I dragged my eyes back to my test and tried to congratulate him for his grade nevertheless.
But my mouth was dry, my lips tired, my head spinning and my heart still trying its hardest to keep the beat steady.
Not Achieved.
“Hey,” The excellence girl leans over to my test with a big stupid grin on her face. “What did you—oh.”
My heart beat faster as the music began to slow. A failure. A deadweight to my smarter friends—the band. They’d be able to attain so much more if I wasn’t there.
“Well, it’s—uh…” Excellence stumbled over her words. She was the trumpet, being misled by the drummer. “It’s alright to fail, as long you knew you tri—“
“Just leave it.” The merit boy next to me slumped on to the desk, his arms folding around his head. His voice was muffled and quiet, yet it still held strong against the drummer’s inadequacy. The flute who tried to lead the drummer. It didn’t help—my eyes burned regardless.
Stop trying to help me.
Excellence stood up, anger pasted all over her face. “I didn’t know you be so heartless!”
Merit rolled over his head to the side, gazing at Excellence with his half lidded eyes. “And I didn’t know you could be so tactless. She doesn’t want to talk about it, Eliza.”
The band was starting their crescendo—no, it wasn’t meant to! The faster drumming, speeding up due to the lack of self-control—please don’t listen to it please don’t listen don’t listen—
I stood up.
“Teacher, I need to go to the restroom.” My voice cracked horribly on the last word.
The teacher jerked his chin towards the door. My friends stopped bickering and looked at me. I turned away from them, sliding my hand slowly off the desk.
Failure.
Failure.
I had tried so hard to keep the band—my friends—in time. I didn’t want to accept this.
This not achieved… was a lie.
I snatched the test off my table, crumpling my hard work, destroying the set of drums. The band was horrified, but no one reacted. They were in denial. Like me.
No one tried to stop me as I ran out of the class, test in hand. I heard nothing, only the clicking of my black school shoes as I ran down the hall, trying to find the restroom.
“Someone, bring her back!” The teacher demanded. I heard footsteps behind me, but my classmates were nothing compared to my adrenaline filled muscles. Within time, I had soon lost them to an intersection.
I was panting hard when I finally found the door. I slammed it open and forced myself into a cubicle, locking the door shut. The rest of the world was behind the door, and the truth was behind me.
I faced the toilet.
I put two hands on the top side of my test.
Then I jerked one towards me, and the other one away. It was satisfying to see that obnoxious “n” being destroyed. “Hard work”, my ass. I let out a hollow laugh.
I repeated it again, allowing the paper to float down like the disgusting failures they were. Like the unwanted spit that gathered in the tubes of a wind instrument.
Then I flushed all my worries away.
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I have a few scenes where five or six characters are speaking. Each character calls the others by different nicknames (one adds chi to the end of everyones name, one shortens all the names etc) and some have common phrases like saying "in fact" at the end of most sentences. Some speak more formally while others cuss more but I'm not sure those differences are enough to make it clear who is speaking?
Good, you’ve developed differences in each character’s dialogue. That will help the reader understand their individual personalities.
The best way to show who’s speaking is to use speaker attributions like “he said” and “she said.” Then, when that starts sounding repetitive, add beats wherein the characters have an action. When there are multiple characters in a conversation make sure to use their names often to avoid dialogue getting mixed up.
Example A:
Tom clapped his hands. “So, who’s excited for the big game tonight?”“Oh, brother.” Mariah flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I have no intention of going.”“There’s a surprise,” Kim said without looking up from her phone.
On occasion it will be fine to simply use “he” or “she” if there’s only one of that gender in the scene, or if you’re focusing briefly on an interchange between just two of the characters.
Example B:
Lavonne raised her eyebrows.“What?” asked Kayla.She just shook her head while looking sidelong at Terry. “Where you going now, Terry?”He made a face like who was she to ask?
Once you’ve got those techniques down it will be fine to let a few lines of dialogue stand on their own.
Example C:
Larry ran his hands through his hair. “You want to tell him or should I?”“You kiddin’? I’m not telling anyone anything.”“Fine, but I’m telling him you were there too.”Jack held up his palm. “Wait, who are you guys talking about?”“Yeah, and why am I involved?” Gravel crunched under Beau’s boots as he started to back away.
Those are the basics of creating comprehensive dialogue between multiple characters. Also, I don’t know why all of my examples were such tense exchanges, but these rules DO apply to happy conversations too ;)
Hope this helps, and best wishes with your characters.
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u can do it! i believe
I’ve uploaded all the profiles of my EOU2 characters :) I haven’t played EOU yet and am in the process of playing EO4. I can feel characters forming already but I want to wait until I finish the game first.
Another note is that I might possibly try to do some short fics of my characters? I’m not all that certain or confident yet. They’ll probably be little titbits of their lives or just random moments.
I hope you found my characters interesting nevertheless and do let me know which ones you like :)
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Character Arcs and The Hero’s Journey
Aka, a map of how this
(^^^^ open that first for success)
connects to this:
“Whoa there,” you say. “Whoa there, Pen. This looks a lot like that other thing.”
OMG! Yes it does! That’s because they are macaroni and cheese. They belong together.
Characters, after all, don’t just develop all by their lonesome. It is their journeys and experiences that prompt a person to change- or tests whether they are capable of change. I like to think that the bond between the hero’s journey and the character arc was not something that was created so much as “discovered” in a way. It’s always been there.
“Whoa there, Pen!” Some of you say again. “I have seen the Hero’s Journey before, but I’m pretty sure it said different things?”
Yes it probably did. The different points can have many names, but ultimately, they represent the same type of event. I chose this one because it is, to me, one of the less overly grand and therefore less overly confusing.
Onward under the cut.
Keep reading
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i finalyl got a court of wings and ruin and what do u mean im ten days late
r e j o i c e
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Character Arcs Continued
Make sure you remember part one (x)
Please Note: This is absolutely not the only version of the character arc that you will ever see. There are certainly different versions where the points vary, but I chose to explain this one as it has points in common with many others and it is easy to follow.
Every important character should have an arc that carries alongside the plot. This adds a layer of complexity and shows growth in your character. Though roles and patterns are made to be broken, one of the most accepted structures for a character arc looks something like this. Let’s break it down.
Keep reading
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Today,
cw: some blood and violence and murder
Today was the first time he died.
Today was also the first time he entered the labyrinth. He was so happy, waving his sword around like a child’s Christmas gift that had been recently unwrapped. It was clean, shiny and the blade was finely sharpened. His steps were wide and he swung his arms around like a little drinking bird toy. Whenever we passed a flower, he’d always stop to sniff it.
He’d been wanting to enter the labyrinth with me for a long time. I trained him for over two years in swordplay, three thirty every second day. I’d tell him how to hold a sword, how to swing a sword, how to dodge attacks and parry them if needed. After two hours of training, he’d run off to knock on the doors of his friends, and they’d spar with wooden sticks. It was his dream to enter the labyrinth with me.
Today was the first time he had to gather. I helped him select the correct plants and also helped him cut them off in the most efficient way possible.
“See, you pick this one. The guys at Berund Atelier love this stuff.” I say, pointing to a spiked succulent. An aloe.
He nodded energetically, his white hair splashing into his tanned face. His face was tanned because he used to enjoy playing outside a lot with his friends. I used to have to call him for ages for him to come home from the streets of Tharsis.
After we stuffed our packs full of aloe, we continued to map out the rest of the Lush Woodlands. His map was hastily drawn with the patience of a child, the symbols uncomplicated. He ran ahead, his footsteps pounding loudly on the group, causing the dry grass to rustle. I tried to stop him, I was so afraid. I had told him over and over to not stray too far from me before entering the labyrinth.
Today was the first day he fought.
A baboon angrily leaped from the bushes and stood between us. He must have caused such a ruckus that the baboon assumed its children were in danger from a potential predator. I was so afraid—I couldn’t move.
But my brave boy, he simply smiled through the fear. “Look, I’m going to fight my first monster!”
I couldn’t look. But at the same time, my eyes wouldn’t peel themselves away.
“Get away from there! Run!” I yelled. I screamed. My brave boy didn’t hear me.
He nimbly dodged an attack, like how I had taught him. Then he ran into the baboon, sword in front, and with the most powerful war cry I had ever heard.
The sword sunk into the baboon’s ribs with a sickening squish. It—no, she—screamed, so loudly and fearfully. The blood stained the once vivid green grass, splattered and lost.
He was so young— he must have thought it’d be like the stories I told him as a child. The ones where the heroes vanquished villains in one fell swoop with their valiant swords and shield.
Today, he died for the first time as he stuck his sword in the baboon again and again, until the screaming died down, until it became a soft whimper of a mother unable to protect her own. Her fur was stained a sickening red, so red that nothing in the world could compare with it.
His bright blue eyes were wide as he sank down to the ground. His dull sword lay next to him, stained with blood and fear and the guilt of a murderer. The adrenaline died down, revealing just a young boy with a broken mind.
My brave, bright boy. A murderer.
He was gone.
And it’s all my fault for making his dream come true.
Today, he died.
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im taking down my previous fanfiction i forgot to grammar check it lol
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A baffling step,
Mysterious and profound,
I hit myself.
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Good Morning, Good Night
“Good morning, Yggdrasil.” said the Medium.
But only the forest’s silence answered back. No hearty gurgle of the branches as the birds jumped to and fro on them. No gentle rustle as the individual leaves brushed past each other in a welcome. No warm smell of Yggdrasil’s wood came to greet her. Only the bustling of birch trees and the rustle of leaves that came from her forest.
There was nothing.
“Yggdrasil?” The girl opened one of her eyes in curiosity, but still kept her hands clasped in prayer. There was a dreaded feeling that sat in her stomach, and it refused to go away.
Yet there was still nothing.
Her throat grew tighter, as if she had drank too much water too fast. Was this just a playful prank Yggdrasil had decided to play on her today? Her hands held each other tighter.
Xiuan.
“Yggdrasil!” The Medium gasped, then laughed, then felt anger as she realised how much she missed Yggdrasil and their wise presence. Should she reprimand them for scaring her? Or laugh along with Yggdrasil’s light prank? Whatever—she was just so happy to have them back.
There is something I must tell you, so please hold back your anger. Yggdrasil murmured lightly. Xiuan almost did not hear his response, as they were speaking so quietly. It was like someone had covered the great tree in a large cloth. Like the tree was… trapped, almost.
A teapot nearby whistled in unhinged rage, demanding the attention of the Medium. “Hold on Yggdrasil, I need to tend to this tea here—ah! Would you care for some tea? I have taken the finest Chrysanthemums and a pinch of—“
Xiuan, this is urgent. Yggdrasil urged. I wish to tell you with your full attention on me.
Considering the strange way the tree was speaking today, Xiuan quickly sat back down after removing the teapot from the heater. What was happening with the Tree today?
Though she felt as if she already knew. The heaviness in her stomach had not disappeared yet.
I am going somewhere.
Xiuan blinked in surprise. Then she laughed. “Where are you going, Yggdrasil? Are you not a tree? Have you been hiding your true powers all this time?”
Yggdrasil did not laugh along. I… regret to say that I am leaving you.
Xiuan stopped laughing. Her eyes widened in shock, her heart thumping louder and louder until it was the only thing she could hear, the only thing she could feel even. It hurt.
Yggdrasil was leaving?
Yggdrasil was leaving?
Yggdrasil was leaving.
“Wh-why?” she managed to choke out.
It seems that I can only communicate through children. Yggdrasil continued. Their voice… was it getting fainter? No, no, no!
“I am a child!” Xiuan cried out, her cheeks cold from the tears sliding down and collecting at her chin. She was a child. Her body was that of a child. Her hands were small, and her eyes were big. She grabbed large chunks of grass and ripped them from the earth, imagining that the grass was her adulthood and the ground was the passing of time.
Xiuan, you are growing up.
“No, I am not!” She ripped out more chunks of grass and hurled them at the trees, at the birds, at the teapot filled with sweet Chrysanthemum tea that she meant to serve. She could not even begin to think of a life without Yggdrasil’s presence over her. Without their sticks and trunk and leaves and roots—how could she do on living? Nothing would be left of her, except the hollow, broken stump of a dead tree. She was slipping, her mind was slipping away like moss on smooth rock and there was nothing to hold on to—
You do have something, dear. Yggdrasil whispered.
“What is it?” Xiuan sank back down to the dirt, her energy thoroughly sapped.
Allow me to show you.
And slowly, the winds began to pick up. At first they were light, then they grew heavier and heavier, until Xiuan had to shield her face. The trees began to shake, their leafy rooves beginning to move. The grass she had previously ripped out in a disgusting fit of rage were now sent flying towards the clear sky, spiralling higher and higher like confetti for a birthday. She had never seen this happen before. It was cold, but she somehow felt… energized. Xiuan spread her arms and happily caught the feelings Yggdrasil was trying to share with her.
Then, a soft push at her back urged her forward. She found that the breeze was carrying along the slight scent of Chrysanthemum and cane sugar, with a slight hint of wood. Xiuan laughed as the breeze tickled her nose. “You drank my tea!”
I did, it was very delicious. Yggdrasil replied, continuing to push her towards the exit of her praying area. They kept walking, through the tightly knit birch trees and clouds of pink petals and pools of clovers, until they reached—
The villagers of Vessel town turned to face the soft breeze, surprised that wind was even blowing through the Misty Forest in this warm season. Some of the villagers chased after their berries that were now rolling away.
This is your true family. And all too quickly was the wind banished away. I want you to take this opportunity to live life as a normal girl. I burdened you with the task of being my communicator—now it is my turn to repay you.
“Yggdrasil…” Xiuan sighed.
The tree… didn’t consider themself to be a burden, did it?
She ran up to the table where she once shared a delightful meal with a group of five explorers and Yggdrasil. The table where she spread tales Yggdrasil had seen to the children of her village.
The table where she enjoyed herself with Yggdrasil.
The Medium stood up on the table. Never mind that stand on tables was a taboo—this was important, more important than tradition.
“Attention, please!” Xiuan called out. “Have any of you got any stories of Yggdrasil? They would like to hear them!”
Xiuan, please—
The Vessels turned to the girl on the table, confused at first. Some of the villagers mumbled to each other for a while, and Xiuan felt her heart drop to her feet. Maybe they had forgotten the kind things Yggdrasil had once done for them.
A lone voice broke through the confusion. “I remember this one time where I was picking berries, and the wind had caused them all to roll away. I ran after them of course. But when I found them, they had rolled into an even larger bush packed to the brim with berries!” He nudged his friend playfully. “Remember? We had a huge feast that day.”
His friend nodded. “Actually, now that I think of it, there were many times something happened to me like that. Once, I went fishing in the stream near here, and I accidentally slipped and scared away all the fish! I thought I’d go home empty-handed, but what do you know? I looked up, thinking this day couldn’t get any worse when an apple fell on me, then another, then another until I realised I was fishing right under an apple tree!” She laughed heartily, recalling the incident with euphoria.
The Vessels began to perk up, recalling their strange little events that Yggdrasil had a part in. Their quiet chatter quickly turned to an uproar in their realisation that Yggdrasil played a large part of their lives.
Xiuan, I—thank you.
“It was the least I could do. You’re not a burden, Yggdrasil. Every minute I spent with you I truly enjoyed.” Xiuan clasped and unclasped her hands.
She would grow up their sake. For her village’s sake. For her own sake. Yggdrasil may have played a large part of her life, but goodbyes had to be made in the end.
Xiuan, I must go now, said the tree.
Xiuan… The heavenly tree gasped its final words.
Xi-a-…
And, in that moment, that very small moment, a part of her fell away. The forest seemed duller, more realistic. Like the last leaf of autumn that needed to fall in order for it to snow.
But the trees still bustled, the leaves still rustled. They came from her forest.
“Good night, Yggdrasil.” Said the Medium. There was no need for sad tears. She was grown up after all. What came out were happy tears that mothers cried when their child left their hometowns.
And somewhere, in another child in a faraway land, Yggdrasil woke.
Good night, Xiuan.
#etrian odyssey#eo#eo fanfiction#etrian odyssey fanfiction#oh man#etrian_odyssey#guess who knows how to spell Yggdrasil now#oneshot
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man i wish i was as organized as u
It was born out of sheer necessity. You know, for my sanity’s sake.
Try it. It’ll change your life :3
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