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portraitoftheoddity · 9 hours
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Vashwood 98 shitposting ('98, tristamp, more)
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[ID: Trigun 98 screencaps with overlaid text posts.
Wolfwood and Vash running together with grins + @/shanmustafa: if you're not busy later i was wondering if you, like to spend the rest of our lives together
Wolfwood hitting Eriks!Vash in the hospital + @/hilsonisthecure: medical malpractice? not to me. not if it's you.
Wolfwood smiling softly + @/aster-is-confused: hey (with the intention of developing complicated unresolved feelings for you that aren't quite platonic or romantic or sexual but actually a secret undiscovered thing)
Wolfwood looking serious while Vash stares at him in disbelief + @/k-simplex: Wow, that was such a beautiful and profound statement bro. Now say something reprehensible and trivialising.
Vash and Wolfwood both yelling comically + @/allthatdivides: god he's so fucking pathetic. what a god damn loser. (insane with lust)
Vash walking away while carrying Wolfwood's cross + @/plounce: gay as fuck to have a dead best friend. what, is their absence in your life going to define and motivate you, gayass
Vash and Wolfwood both smiling + @/meowsapow: "Friends with benefits" and the benefit is being my friend :)
The same screencap + @/meowsapow: We can also fuck nasty or whatever. End ID]
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portraitoftheoddity · 10 hours
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DEATH RIDES A PALE WHITE HORSE THOMA 💀
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portraitoftheoddity · 10 hours
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A group of friends and I did a one shot recently in 5e. The catch is that they play something called “Dude Squad” where the only play “dudes” (not exclusively male people, just dude mentality) and they hate all magic and magic users. They think true strength is muscles and only muscles, and have in the past encountered magic users who they then convince to give up magic.
We got told to build a level 17 character for this one shot, most of the other folks had previous Dude Squad characters to resurrect. But I didn’t really want to play a straight martial class. In my heart, spellcasters are my true class, and I didn’t really have a strong idea of what kind of character to make.
So I approached the DM and said, “Hey, I have this idea to play a character that pretends to be a martial class but is actually a magic caster?” My girlfriends character is an aasimar who thinks he’s Thor and my backstory was that after meeting him and falling for him she decided to invest heavily in deceptive magic so as not to alienate him.
And my DM. Loved it. So he helped me build an extremely custom character. Two levels in Hexblade warlock gave her a good weapon and the ability to cast disguise self pretty much nonstop to appear buffer than she actually was.
Then there was four levels in Stone sorcerer in order to get 4 sorcery points, the ability to use those points to cast using Subtle Spell and no one could tell she’s casting, and to buff her AC.
Finally there was 11 Bladesong wizard levels in order to get some attack bonuses, even more AC, extra attacks, and the ability to burn spells to take less damage.
So the whole time I was burning spell slots to recharge my sorcery points every time I cast things like Haste and Spider Climb and use my Bladesong powers. We busted through walls and smashed our way through puzzles. We lied and said my character was a Barbarian/Monk so they didn’t bat and eye when she ran on walls with spider climb, but no one noticed when even after dashing she “held onto the stone wall” without any kind of check.
The final battle: the goblin wizard boss we were fighting had cast invulnerability on himself and had our friend mind controlled. So I’m trying to cover for not attacking as I try to dispel his invulnerability. I can no longer run on walls, or make the jumps my party is making on floating platforms over a spike pit so I try to use my actions on other helpful things like tying ropes for friends in the pit. I manage to dispel the magic on our friend but I burned almost all my spells trying to secretly dispel the boss’ spell and finally we just ended up grappling and suffocating him then pummeling him to death.
But at the last moment as we’re running out of this horrible goblin mansion I’m running down a wall and my friends are climbing down. The building says there’s 6 seconds left and my very injured love interest is not gonna make it so my character shouted “Fuckfuckfuck!” Ran over and cast dimension door to bring them both to safety. (Two people got left in the blast but both survived cause Dude Power). Then I critically failed my deception about how I had used magic and came clean and everyone lost their shit when they heard what we’d done. Her final confession, after dropping her buff disguise self, was, “When I met Kathor I really liked him and he freakin’ hates magic so I just kinda figured out how to hide that I was castin’ magic cause I though we might go to pound town.”
Kathor then declared, “I’ve never had someone try so hard to get in my pants!” And swept her up and they messily made out. It was deeply satisfying the wonders that DnD can create, like making a whole class based on the lie that you’re not spellcasting.
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portraitoftheoddity · 11 hours
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So, if all goes well, at noon tomorrow I will own a house. 🙃
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portraitoftheoddity · 11 hours
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Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken
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portraitoftheoddity · 11 hours
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the thing about gay bdsm dynamics is they will make explicit what is implicit in normative cisheterosexual dynamics and then those complicit in cisheterosexuality will act all scandalized about seeing themselves in the funhouse mirror
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portraitoftheoddity · 12 hours
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portraitoftheoddity · 12 hours
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my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity
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portraitoftheoddity · 16 hours
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Y'all, the world is sleeping on what NASA just pulled off with Voyager 1
The probe has been sending gibberish science data back to Earth, and scientists feared it was just the probe finally dying. You know, after working for 50 GODDAMN YEARS and LEAVING THE GODDAMN SOLAR SYSTEM and STILL CHURNING OUT GODDAMN DATA.
So they analyzed the gibberish and realized that in it was a total readout of EVERYTHING ON THE PROBE. Data, the programming, hardware specs and status, everything. They realized that one of the chips was malfunctioning.
So what do you do when your probe is 22 Billion km away and needs a fix? Why, you just REPROGRAM THAT ENTIRE GODDAMN THING. Told it to avoid the bad chip, store the data elsewhere.
Sent the new code on April 18th. Got a response on April 20th - yeah, it's so far away that it took that long just to transmit.
And the probe is working again.
From a programmer's perspective, that may be the most fucking impressive thing I have ever heard.
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portraitoftheoddity · 16 hours
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💜🕸️
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you bottle Miette??
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if you don‘t personally own one but your roommates/parents do and you are allowed to use it, that counts as yes
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mine would probs be: one direction, taylor swift, ed sheeran, the script and coldplay 
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why is it that I only remember I need to do laundry at like, 11:30 at night right after I've had an edible.
that shit is NEVER making it into a dryer if I start now goddammit.
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I’ve been on tumblr for almost 13 years and I refuse to know what homestuck is about
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