Girl you need to get out of bed faster than this

(guy stuck in a timeloop) fuckkkkk i got yesterday tomorrow

addicted to saying "ill definitely check that out" about things that i will definitely forget to check out

a part of adult life you never really realize as a child is the constant need for bowls in so many different sizes. you're always doing something and going "man i wish i had the right size bowl for this" no matter how many bowl sizes you have

"gonna kill myself before im 18"

"gonna kill myself before im 25"

"gonna kill myself before im 30"

give it a rest baby you aren't doing it 🙄

is that simple task bothering you queen

i should be able to blow up and die once a week and then come back a few hours later

nothing that stimulant medication and a coffee and an energy drink and a bump of coke and a good hard slap in the face and seven years in the harsh wilderness and a hug from a friend and a firm prostate milking and 250mg of MDMA crystals and a top of the line gaming PC and a tall glass of water and a distant memory of summer and piano lessons and four 20mg edibles and a sword that hungers for human blood and a well socialized tuxedo cat and a sushi dinner and a leather jacket and a power nap and a single beautiful rod of depleted uranium and regular estradiol injections and a typewritten sheet of paper bearing the solution to the hard problem of consciousness and nipple clamps and a lobotomy and a gun and another coffee can't fix

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “daylight savings time” youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes

my friend the oven, pacing: the smart devices are lying to us

ladies. you should be able to switch from a melee build to wizard anytime you want

literally me

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

they should make a soup that fixes everything. one sip and you are free. one slurp and it all makes sense

later, winter ❄️ greetings, spring 🌸

sunset will be after 7pm in 18 days