almost salted the boiling water im using to sterilize my dildo

new splatoon gamemode: turf war, but alongside the two battling teams is a ninth player who plays as mario--his model ripped straight from super mario sunshine and controlling exactly as he does in that game--using fludd to clean all the ink as the other players try to play the game normally. the mario player gains nothing from this and only serves to annoy the other players

”Never ignore your gut feelings!” my gut feelings tell me that Freddy Fazbear is outside of my door at night

Any of my followers extradimensional? Can u help this guy out? He's not even supposed to be here.

this has been Sex with me (2024). penis effects provided by Jim Henson's Creature Shop

"A Ceasefire isn't enough, I need to witness the collapse of American Imperialism"

Poster spotted in Ottawa, Ontario

No vanilla extract because my recipe doesn't call for it.

THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

Bruh

My little sister's new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend's name that she hasn't gotten covered up yet

hate paper straws ooh it’s biodegradable yeah i know because it’s biodefuckingrading in my coffee asshole

its the perfect post everything asked is answered