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pickledpolos · 6 years
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Find Yourself in a Relationship
There is no better spiritual practice than trying to love another human being. The problem that we run into as we search for the love of our life, is that we don’t often approach love as a spiritual practice. We tend to approach relationships full of romantic ideals of what love should be. We have faith that, with the right person, love will take care of us. The mistake we make is looking for the right person outside of ourselves.
To find the right person, we have to be the right person. Fortunately, we are all the right person. We are each, uniquely, ourselves. That is who we have been, who we will be and who we are. Unfortunately, we don’t know who we are. We often think that we are something else entirely. We tend to think of ourselves as something worse than we actually are. That is because what we actually are is as good as it gets. When we understand that we are complete as we are, we don’t make the mistake of looking for somebody else to complete us.
When we understand that our view of ourselves is distorted, then we become curious as to what we actually are. A romantic relationship is a great mirror for finding ourselves. The first thing we should notice when we love somebody is that the love we feel for them is our love. The other person may have wonderful qualities that inspire love, but the love we actually feel is our own. It is the beautiful essence of ourselves. When we feel other things as we get into a relationship, those are also our feelings. When they are reflected back to us, we need to look at them as well.
A relationship will show us how we relate to our feelings. Because the feelings in a close relationship are extra intense, we can’t miss them. We will see which feelings we can handle on our own, and which we assign to others. We will see if we need to forgive ourselves, or be forgiven. We will notice how we feel when we are angry and how we feel when somebody is angry at us. We can explore how we relate to jealousy, rejection, criticism. We will create opportunities to be generous to see how that feels. We will be able to practice saying sorry when we make mistakes.
If we look to find ourselves in relationships, whatever happens will help us grow. If we look to escape ourselves in a relationship, we will only confront ourselves again and again and we will need to escape the relationship.
Love is a great safety net that allows you to be yourself without fear of falling. When you practice finding yourself in love, you will love what you find.
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pickledpolos · 7 years
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I want to understand. 
Really I do. 
Cause I sort of understand but not really 
I don’t know what I did 
and whatever I did I want to undo 
I know you 
and all those horrible thoughts are not you 
I wanna know what it is that i’m thinking about you that’s taking us upstream, 
I just hope that it’s confusion 
because confusion is temporary
talking about things clears things and makes confusion go 
I know confusion will go 
start flowing downstream
with ease
a breakthrough
start again. 
right foot forward
laughter  
seeing you smile, you know i like your smile
long conversations 
great company
great fun 
it’s so much fun just hanging out
catching up 
hiding your shoes from under the table when you take them off
eating pancakes
going shopping even when you stress out 
walking 
talking
when you make up for things
when you try to cheer me up
when you listen
when you pay attention even to the smallest things
when you’re caring even when you think you’re not
when you give and give 
you give the best surprises
and the best hugs 
zapateo
cumbia
afroperuvian shows we can go to 
pulpo al olivoooooooooo
your book recommendations
your music recommendations
just you 
in all your glory
the best of you 
and i promise from today on
the very best of me 
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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Wait, they don’t love you like I love you
isn’t that such a pretentious thing to say?  it’s also great material for a song. Well two songs now, Maps by the yeah yeah yeah’s the original and Hold up by Beyonce, the revamped version of the lyrics. 
I been listening to both songs loads recently, I also went to the family constelations on satuday with mum this time! that was great. I listened again to the theory about the orders of love and how they work and I remembered these lryics. 
In terms of romantic relationships there should be a balance in the giving and receiving. I’m not sure what the problem is when you don’t give enough but when you give too much there is a sense of superiority or condescendence , that’s why these came to mind.
“wait, they don’t love you like i love you” 
“hold up, they don’t love you like i love you” 
and it made me think a lot about us and how by the end you got tired of me cause you thought that I was more into it than you...
they said that when you give to much the other person get’s upset and leaves...and I definately created that because I subconsciously thought I was superior. 
you know when I noticed this first? the day after my birthday when the flowers came. 
I just couldn’t believe they were for me. 
From you to me. 
because that was crazy right? like I couldn’t even believe my own boyfriend would do that for me. 
cause you know, I was so used to giving that getting to receive was such a strange concept for me. 
like how dare you, I’m the one with the cool gifts and surprises and details for special events and non special events...
right? 
I was so stupid and I guess all I wanna say is 
SORRY
because I wasn’t able to appreciate what I had in front of me, because I know I didn’t handle that well, and I tried to overcompensate because I knew I screwed up by doubting it was from you. 
I was so stupid, like who in their right mind thinks their own boyfriend can’t possibly have details with them. 
I should expect that cause that’s alright and I should’ve been more grateful for that. 
I was to idiotic thinking that you were still the guy who wanted to give salt to your mum and couldn’t appreciate the person you’d grown to be. 
I mean now you went and surprised your mum for her birthday and I don’t think even you see how big that is. 
and I wish you knew and I wish I could fins a nice way to tell you without sounding condescending cause you deserve more than that. 
but you see the thing is, I‘m writing to no one here cause I’m almost certain you don’t see it cause why would you, this blog is dead just like our attempt at a relationship...
I really wish it wasn’t though, cause I don’t know about you but there’s something whenever I’m with you. Like  faint vibrations of what was, something that still feels, right. 
why break a winning formula? right? 
so that’s that I just wanted to get this out of my system cause there needed to be evidece that at one point in our relationship I was the idiot that didn’t appreciate what she had, cause I still hadn’t learned to receive. Cause I had to lose you to realize that I did and that I can. 
You know I really wish I could’ve told you that I didn’t need to hear the words I love you cause I felt them in everything you did with me and for me. 
With you I felt loved.
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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@ me
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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Imagine waking up next to your person. With your eyes closed, just curling up to them, squeezing their soft body even tighter. Their warmth just radiating into your skin, their subtle breaths moving your body. You’re safe. They’re a safe place. Is that not just a dream within itself?
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (via lazypacific)
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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Alejandro Preciado contacted Pop+Dots, an experimental design studio in Guadalajara, to design part of the interior of his new gallery in Tlaquepaque, Jalisco, Mexico called Casa Conceptos. Their idea was to take an eco-friendly approach to the spaces by using reclaimed wood bits to cover the once-empty walls.
The pieces of wood came from old furniture, shelves, and doors, and those, combined with the used fruit boxes, became the material used to create texture, shapes, and visual interest to the tall walls. Artfully arranged, the pieces become a sculptural composition of components that have a history.
More: Reclaimed Wood Used to Design Gallery Interior - Design Milk
— d.n.
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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You keep telling me to be glad for what we had while we had it. That the brightest flame burns quickest. Which means you saw us as a candle. And I saw us as the sun.
Iain S. Thomas
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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When people asked me what kind of girl I like... I always said, 'one that thinks differently'!
you at the start of it all
My favourite thing you ever said. Especially because we were talking about my adhd. Maybe that’s why for that entire year it wasn’t a problem. Academically speaking that year was the best I ever had. I had you to look forward to. You were my greatest motivation. Now I need to find that within me to finis this semester. Though sometimes I wish I could still talk to you about it. 
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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I just remembered...
The way you looked over your shoulder towards me. Wordless little hint to say you wanted to kiss me when we were lying in bed. I’d then lean in to meet your lips. It’s the little things that go unoticed but when remembered the ones we cherish the most, also the ones that hurt the most. 
I’ll forget this. 
don’t worry. 
when I read this again some other day
this won’t hurt anymore. 
it won’t matter. 
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pickledpolos · 8 years
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1 year ago today
we became facebook friends and 1 year and 4 days ago we met. I really remember that day like it was yesterday more than this one. The 1st of November never meant so much until that day 1 year ago. 
I had this picture in my mind of how this “anniversary” would be. I really saw us going the distance. It’s shitty to see how different things played out in the end. 
I want to be happy for this day because damn a year doesn’t go in vain. I wish I could yell to the world and say you know what I’m so glad I met this beautiful soul 1 year ago today and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 
It’s true though. I am really so happy it was you that day. 
Saying this out loud though, that’s another thing. Saying it out loud makes it seem like it was all a dream. Like it never really happened at all because boy how things have changed in a year. 
To start with you will probably never read this, because let’s face it you were not following this a long time ago even when we were still together. 
There is so much I wish I could say face to face but I think that right now where you are it’s pointless. Your mind’s made up and there’s no point even trying. 
In a way I’m just thankful that both November 1st and 5th are days I still get to spend with you. 
On this day, 1 year ago I said let’s do this I really like him so. 
Thank you for talking to me on that day, thank you for being there that day. Thank you for  saying that I was beautiful. Thank you for being my first time and for making it so special. Thank you for the long conversations that started 1 year ago since day 1. Thank you for being you and for letting me be me in return. Thank you for showing me the beauty of loving someone and being loved in return. Thank you for showing me that I too can receive love, even though I still need to work on that. Thank you for all the details you had with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all those big, medium, small things you did and didn’t think were important because we value different things.  Thank you for being so loving. Thank you for loving me even though you say that not saying it meant that you didn’t. 
Thank you for what has been the best year of my life so far. 
Really just, 
Thank you. 
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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Una vez que sepamos cuales son nuestras necesidades emocionales básicas, sabremos cuales son las que tenemos en una relación. ¿Por qué? Si para ti es una necesidad sentir seguridad económica por ejemplo, debes trabajarla en vez de exigirla a otro. Cuando te la provees no escoges relaciones en base a eso, y ambos tienen libertad de escoger estar allí, en vez de experimentar una relación de codependencia.  Así, hay muchas necesidades que proyectamos en otro y después nos preguntamos por qué se deteriora la relación.
Mia Pineda 
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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Funny how the one thing that felt so right must be the one thing I need to let go. 
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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New piece, hope you like it! xo Lang 
…………….
My NEW book Memories is now available for pre-order via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and bookstores worldwide. Official launch is October 2015. Yay!
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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1) I’m Sorry
2) Please forgive me
3) I Love You
4) Thank You
Hoponopono
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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pickledpolos · 9 years
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People need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in—told that they are brave and smart and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more. Remind each other of this.
S.J.S. (via bl-ossomed)
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