i’d never heard of stali before today but now you have me intrigued !!!! do you have any fic recs for them or or have you written anything? x

OH MY GOD? THANKS? FOR THIS ASK??? This is gonna be a really long answer to this and I'm so sorry about that I just want an excuse to talk about them.

Genuinely Stali is such an underrated ship to me. I think they have so many characteristics that are both opposite and complementary that would make them such an interesting couple.

Steve is a character who, from the beginning, is shown to crave and chase love, affection and validation from those around him. Even after his King Steve years have been put behind him, he still wants people to like him and choose him. I could go on and on about what this could mean in regards to his homelife and upbringing but I'll spare you for now lmao.

Kali is a character who, from the beginning, is continually let down or abandoned by those who claim to have her best interests at heart. She was abused and treated like a rat in a science experience. She's so consumed by her anger over the cards she was dealt and the lack of that validation Steve also craves that she turns to violence. She wants the people who hurt her to feel even a sliver of the pain they put her through.

As someone who's special interest is The Last of Us, and who has a deep appreciation for the second game, Kali reminds me a lot of a character from the second game. Skip the next paragraph if you haven't played TLOU2 and don't wanna be spoiled.

Kali and Abby have so much in common it physically pains me. Obviously they have wildly different trauma, but the result is the same. They're consumed with the resounding resolve that is 'revenge', at any cost. They both have this idea that if they can somehow enact an appropriate level of this vigilante-style justice that it will balance the scales and heal them. They both have a group of friends enabling this behavior and even participating in it, which only furthers their drive to continue. Obviously both friend groups have different reasons for playing along, and Abby's group is much more personally involved in the pain as well. But it's still the same to me. And, while we never saw this in Kali's story, Abby eventually realizes that 'getting revenge' never actually did anything to heal the gaping wound the trauma she experienced left in her. Instead, it was her connections to Yara and (to a larger degree) Lev that ultimately gave her peace. It was genuine love that healed her, not continuing the cycle of violence and hate. I'd like to think if we saw more of Kali's story that this would've been a fantastic route to explore and would've served her character so well. I could also go into a whole essay about how Kali and El could've been the perfect parallel to Abby and Lev but I'm not gonna get into that here.

I think putting these two characters together would benefit both of their character developments. It's the exact reason I see a lot of people saying for why they like ships like Harringrove. You have a character who has felt pain in every corner of their life eventually learning how to be taken care of for once. Getting to put down their defenses and just be utterly vulnerable without the fear of betrayal.

Steve would be good for Kali in the sense that, for once, she wouldn't have to fight for herself. You know Steve 'Self-Sacrificing' Harrington, who knows his girlfriend is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and is so much stronger than him in every tangible sense, would still be the first throw himself to bat for her. He would stand up for her and protect her without it ever being a necessity. Not because he doesn't trust her to be capable of defending herself, but because she shouldn't be expected to fight every single fight alone. Mental or physical.

Kali would be good for Steve in the sense that she would be this lighthouse for him in times of pain. She may absolutely have an avoidant attachment style, but once she's attached, she's never letting go. You cannot convince me that girl isn't loyal to a fault. She doesn't get nice things often, and she's not gonna be quick to give them up if they ever present themselves. Steve with his anxious attachment style needs to know that he holds importance in people's lives.

I feel like she would also be a turning point for him as far as discovering himself. She would encourage him to explore his interests and personal taste in things. Steve strikes me as someone who often does things and dresses certain ways because it's easier than change. She would urge him to try new clothing styles, listen to new music, watch new movies, go out and experience new things with her. Steve, who's most likely lived in the same place his entire life, finally getting to be carefree and live his life with his badass punk girlfriend is not a want- it's a dire need.

Hozier just dropped a song and it's so them to me it hurts. It's called Too Sweet and PLEASE walk with me. This song is obviously from Kali's POV.

It can't be said I'm an early bird It's 10 o'clock before I say a word Baby, I can never tell How do you sleep so well? You keep tellin' me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend Baby, now and then Don't you just wanna wake up Dark as a lake Smellin' like a bonfire Lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe I think it's great But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me I take my whiskеy neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for mе You're too sweet for me

Kali views herself as this bitter person all around. Stays up late, drinks black coffee and drinks bitter liquor. While it's true that she's definitely bitter in a lot of ways, I can see her viewing herself the way this song outlines. Like not only is she not sweet, she's incapable of being anything related to 'sweet'. While Steve has his life pretty much together from an outsider's view.

I aim low I aim true, and the ground's where I go I work late where I'm free from the phone And the job gets done But you worry some, I know But who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate The rest of you like you're the TSA I wish that I could go along Babe, don't get me wrong You know you're bright as the morning As soft as the rain Pretty as a vine As sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel Maybe I'll wait

The bit about the job and how it worries the subject reminds me SO MUCH of Kali's schtick for vengeance. She goes out and murders these people who wronged, finishing the 'job' of enacting revenge in her eyes. Steve very clearly worrying about her safety or how this will affect her if she ever were to get caught a few lines later and Kali dismissing him, saying 'who wants to live forever?'

The bit about about treating his lips like Heaven's gate I'M WEAK PLEASE. The line itself is meant to reference the Heaven's gate cult and how they incorporated kool-aid into their final action (not gonna get into details obviously because it's a little triggering but you can look it up if you aren't already aware). The line is supposed to mean that, according to Genius lyrics, the subject of the song is 'so eager for love and validation that they’re willing to accept something that will bring them harm in the end.' TELL ME I'M WRONG I DARE YOU THAT IS A STALI CODED LYRIC.

You could read that as Steve being so insistent that he wants to be with Kali that he's willing to endure what she perceives as the downfalls of being with her, which is closest to the actual intention of the lyric. Or you could also connect it to his connection to Nancy and how he continues to be drawn back to her despite the pain it seems to bring him. It could also even refer to the myriad of other smaller off screen flings he had where he continues to disappoint himself and break his own heart just trying to seek out love and validation. That last point is furthered with the line about treating his body like the TSA (y'know, the pat downs and full body searches :P).

Overall, Stali as a ship is very Hozier-coded in general. I can think of so many Hozier songs that fit them. Work Song and It Will Come Back especially.

As far as fic recommendations, I highly recommend this little oneshot on AO3 about Kali coming home to Steve after going on another quest for vengeance and wondering why he stays with her. Unfortunately I haven't read a whole lot of Stali fics, and I haven't published any myself yet.

HOWEVER, I have like five Stali story WIPs in my arsenal that I'm finally starting to work on. Some mostly canon compliant, some canon divergent, one alternate universe. I plan to write them more and do more with them.

Genuinely, and I mean this with my entire chest, never hesitate to send me asks about them. Ask me for specific headcanons, ask me for drabbles, request a oneshot. I will never get tired of them. That goes for basically any Kali pairing as well, including and especially Punkpistol (Kali/Nancy). Kali as a character deserves so much more recognition that she gets and I wish people were half as feral about her as I am.

This war has to stop. Israel is stopping aid from getting into Gaza and people are starving.

I hope something really bad happens to the guy you based off hook in your book😈 (If there’s one character that I loathe with a passion burning hotter than a thousand suns and brings out the entire ugly in me, it’s that d****ebag pirate😡)

Like for real Phoenix I hate him so much…

AHAHAHA!

I don't remember if you read the original Hell's Heresies fanfic when it was posted, but I originally had Hook as Emma's philandering cheating boyfriend she was in a very clearly toxic relationship with. I think the original plan was for Hook to get eaten by Neal's demon father, who haunted the local library (shoutout to @thestraggletag).

In this book, however, I didn't want my main to be in a toxic relationship, I wanted her in a STALE relationship, a relationship that both parties should've gotten out of a long time ago, but are so used to each other that they haven't.

Thus Dylan was born, who looks a great deal like Hook (I used the exact same description), but his main flaw is being a clueless and inconsiderate boyfriend who hasn't realized that his college relationship has expired.

When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.

One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.

I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.

I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.

I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.

She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.

I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.

And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think… I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.

So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.

Kohaku, please, stop wiggling the boneless arm.

ROBERT CARLYLE in Once Upon a Time in the Midlands (2002)

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if all you have is your device and internet access, you can put your clicks to good use on arab.org. they use the advertising revenue generated by your clicks to help good causes.

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Taawon

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Help Uni repair her Car

Hey crew as some of you might have seen, my car got fucked up in a hit and run the other night. The back windshield is shattered, the spare tire mount is bent and my tail light and wheel well over are cracked. My insurance is dragging their feet on the "investigation" and told me i could either wait until they decided or pay out of pocket and possibly be reimbursed. I live in a rural community and I have a grandfather in hospice over an hour away, so not having a car is not an option for me.

My local mechanic has been a huge help, he's going to give me a discount on the work, but I'm still looking at about $1600 worth of work to get her road worthy again. I know it's a lofty goal and there are a lot of worthy causes out there but if anyone is willing to help me out, I'd appreciate it.

Paypal-alexbortner55

Venmo-@aabortner55

cashapp-$bortner

I do not have zelle at this time, they don't accept my bank. I do have chime though, so if you want to donate via that, dm me.

$80/1600

NEVER MIND, @thestraggletag PLEASE CONTINUE TO MISCHARACTERIZE THIS AS A HELLCHEER FIC.

There is a CANON romance in my book (OUT OCTOBER 8TH, 2024!).

But I will be SEVERELY disappointed if people aren't swapping my characters around and pairing them in weird rare pairs I never considered.

And there better be LOTS of kinky fic.

@thestraggletag IS A VERY MEAN PERSON IS WHY.

There is a CANON romance in my book (OUT OCTOBER 8TH, 2024!).

But I will be SEVERELY disappointed if people aren't swapping my characters around and pairing them in weird rare pairs I never considered.

And there better be LOTS of kinky fic.

There is a CANON romance in my book (OUT OCTOBER 8TH, 2024!).

But I will be SEVERELY disappointed if people aren't swapping my characters around and pairing them in weird rare pairs I never considered.

And there better be LOTS of kinky fic.

I ALSO FULLY REALIZE.

That people will CONSTANTLY be saying that "Hell's Heresies" was originally a "Hellcheer" fic, and I coincidentally "share a Hell".

But it is vital you all know that this was absolutely a SWANFIRE FIC to begin with. My main character is named Emerie Fox. (IYKYK) My sexy demon lead is named Samael. Both of them (it has been ten years...) have developed into their own characters with their own nuances and are now very different from their fanfic counterparts...but they were ONCE UPON A TIME...different characters.

There is a CANON romance in my book (OUT OCTOBER 8TH, 2024!).

But I will be SEVERELY disappointed if people aren't swapping my characters around and pairing them in weird rare pairs I never considered.

And there better be LOTS of kinky fic.

@1lostsoul0fishbowl I just wanted you to see this so I could be like WHY IS FREDDY KRUEGER CHASING GARETH D:

some dbd realities

Help Uni repair her Car

Hey crew as some of you might have seen, my car got fucked up in a hit and run the other night. The back windshield is shattered, the spare tire mount is bent and my tail light and wheel well over are cracked. My insurance is dragging their feet on the "investigation" and told me i could either wait until they decided or pay out of pocket and possibly be reimbursed. I live in a rural community and I have a grandfather in hospice over an hour away, so not having a car is not an option for me.

My local mechanic has been a huge help, he's going to give me a discount on the work, but I'm still looking at about $1600 worth of work to get her road worthy again. I know it's a lofty goal and there are a lot of worthy causes out there but if anyone is willing to help me out, I'd appreciate it.

Paypal-alexbortner55

Venmo-@aabortner55

cashapp-$bortner

I do not have zelle at this time, they don't accept my bank. I do have chime though, so if you want to donate via that, dm me.

$80/1600