genuinely what the fuck are you all breathing that makes some of you act like this

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

And she twerks marvelously.

Ok… but… who the fuck asked you?

when i make an important phonecall

i just ate some delicious ravioli. no i didnt. do u see how easily lies can be spread on the internet?

listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

Due to personal reasons I’ll be going feral

— TONI MORRISON, from ‘Beloved’.

dude what if we 😳 i fucking killed you?