“I want to be a musical theater actor.  I have six auditions tomorrow.  Five the next day.  Everyone says this, but you really do hear ‘no’ everyday.  It’s not even a ‘no,’ actually.  It’s just silence.  They never tell you that you didn’t get a part.  You just hear nothing at all.  There’s a website called Audition Update where people post if they’ve gotten a job offer or callback.  It’s a way to let everyone else know that they haven’t been chosen.  I used to be on the site all the time.  I kept refreshing the page for each of my auditions, waiting for someone to post about a callback.  Then I’d check my email to see if I’d gotten one.  All I ever wanted was to finally be the person who was able to post.  It was pretty toxic.  It made me feel inept.  I could actually see the people who were getting all the jobs I wanted, and rejection became this tangible thing.  I’ve stopped going on the site.  I’m trying to focus more on the process and less on the outcome.  I’m taking all the energy that I put into my phone, and putting it into my journal instead.  I write things that I love about myself.  I write everything I can remember about each audition: who was in the room, what was said, things I did well, things I could have done differently.  But once it’s on the paper, I let go of it.  It helps me stay in the moment.  And it helps remind me that the whole reason I’m acting is because I love it.“

Rose Flowered Arches at Giverny 1913

Claude Monet

Henri Matisse (French, 1869-1954), Vue sur la mer à Tahiti [View of the Sea, Tahiti], 1930. Pen and India ink on paper, 25.1 x 32.6 cm.

Water Lilies 1908

Claude Monet

perscaria

Anime scenery headers 

June 19 © Asumiko Nakamura, “Doukyuusei Series Daily Calendar 2017″.

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15540011-2 by jrobertblack on Flickr.

red frame by Sarah McLean

Light gets in by betulvargun on Flickr.