Penny for Your Thoughts

Chapter one: M E S S: a word to describe my mind. Others use the saying " perfect disaster" but the simple four letter word works just fine for me. It amazes me how many "perfect disasters" I probably encounter on my way to the train. I pass over 300 people a day and I can guarantee not everyone of those suit wearing, business owning humans have all their thoughts perfectly sorted out. I do not understand why people always have to look so put together all the time. I saw a lady have a mental break down at train station today because she was an assistant to a huge CEO and she got him the wrong coffee, but she had the mental break down after she hung up the phone. Whatever, not my job. I do not have a job. My cousin passed away last year and he had a painting in his basement that I found, it was worth five million dollars. So I guess you could say I am an unemployed, messy minded, millionaire . So by this point you are probably wondering why do I go to the train everyday if I do not have a job. I like to ride to the park and go to the museum. Yup, everyday. I would say it clears my mind but honestly I have not had a clear mind since the age of eight. I just like to sit at the park and eat my lucnh while listening to music. After my lunch I go and look at this painting that looks just like my favorite Norman Rockwell painting. After that I go home. I live by myself in an apartment in London. I never was in a serious relationship long enough to have someone move in. My mind was always so overwhelmed I never got around to asking any of my boyfriends if they had wanted to move in. By the time I had really thought about it they would breakup with me because I never thought about the future I only thought about now. I also know that all my relationships, a grand total of two, were never super serious enough to move in. Now here I am single and alone in my apartment. To bad dogs are not aloud or I would have 62. I now have another worry to add to my mess of a mind. I worry I will be alone forever in my apartment. I am only 20 so yeah I got some time ahead of me to get my millionare life sorted out, but my worries get the best of me. I always see couples meeting eachother in the train station. The typical couple that run into eachothers arms and hug eachother for awhile then kiss and talk about how they have missed one another. I feel I will not have that. Sometimes I waist a whole day at the station people watching and it makes me feel this sort of boogled feeling of happy and sad. Again, whatever, back to my life. Chapter two: Today I woke up way later then normal and figured by the time I got up and ready the museum would be to crowded so I decided to just skip it today. I tied up my converse and rode my bike to the train station. It was so silent it was as if everyone got a car today and ditched the train. I sat down and pulled out my book and decided to read. I heard the sound of sneakers squeaky before I saw someone enter. " Do not worry, I just got to class I have a good feeling I will pass this test! call you later," a boy said as he hungup his phone and sat two seats over from me. He dropped his bag and looked up at me. I tried to look away fast but it was too late. " I dropped out of college two months ago and my parents think I am still attending," he said, assuming I was going to ask. I just nodded as if I did not care. For that brief second his blue eyes locked on mine and for the first time in 12 years my mind went clear. He smriked " Just thought I should tell someone" he said as he took out a book and started reading. I pushed my hair behind my ears and went back to reading. " Wow you like the author Q. Smith too," he sounded excited pointing out we were reading the same book. " He has away with words" I said not lifting my eyes from the page. You may be thinking this is incredibly rude of me, it is just, I got this feeling of love at first site that I knew was a feeling I had never had and I did not know how to cope with it. " You have to be a college drop out too, no one dedicates an entire day to reading Q. Smith in a train station at the age of, let me guess 20 like me?" His accent and blonde hair was so distracting I just nodded again. He told me how he wanted to become a business owner but something came up so he just decided to quit. He has been going to the library everyday since he dropped out but today it was too full so he just came here. " I am going to just keep talking because I have not had an intellgent conversation in two months," he stopped for a second to smirk then kept going. " My name is Noah, Noah Prinslo, and I just want to find away threw this world without breaking it." I instantly looked up at him and felt as if he had just said the words I had been looking for and trying so hard to say. He looked at me and we just remained silent. " Noah, you can not break what is already so badly broken." I said to him while our eyes stayed on eachother. He went to say something but a train came rushing in and his eyes moved from mine and his mouth shut. His phone beeped and the time on his phone was 2:15, me and Noah talked for three hours, or should I saw Noah talked to me for 2 hours and 56 minutes and I talked for 4 minutes. He got up " This is my train but hey I will be here tomorrow and I hope to see you here too, same time." and he walked onto the train. As fast as Noah cleared my mind is how fast it became a mess again. Chapter Three: Noah Prinslo. His mind was a mess like mine and that is what made him so perfect. He had nothing figured out and his thoughts where everywhere. All he wanted to do was talk and it seemed like he knew exactly what to say even when words did not need to be spoken. I missed him. His presence was like a piece I was missing for my mind to be sane. I am sure you are thinking, how can I get all this out of one talk, he is a complete stranger. I just get this feeling that he is what I need in my life. He had this way of making the things he talked about always sound so important and nice. I know there is much more I need to learn about Noah so I have a feeling the park and museum will be seeing less of me and the train station will see me more. Chapter Four: I reset my alarm to wake me up at a later time so I would get to the station in time to meet Noah. I made sure I got new music on my phone last night and the new Q. Smith book just incase he didnt show up and I was stuck just sitting there. I rode my bike at a slower pace because I didnt want to rush to an empty station. The more I thought about him the more I got nervous he wouldnt be there. It was like the saneness he bought to my mind got flooded with more insanity once our conversation was over. Again, my favorite saying, whatever. I walked in with my head tilted down at my phone to avoid eye contact with him incase he was there. I sat down and put my headphones in. " Its about time I was getting nervous you wouldnt show!" Noah was wearing a polo shirt and jeans with converse. My smile was probably bigger then it should have been but he smiled back, so it was okay. He sat closer to me today; the seat right next to me instead of two away to be exact. He pulled a red plaid lunch box out of his bag, which was cute because I havent seen someone use a lunch box since the forth grade, and a water bottle. "I hope you like turkey sandwiches because this is all I had in my pantry" he handed me one smiling and I took it. He made them as if it was for a child, crust cut off and all, extremely cute. I said thanks but didnt start to eat it because I wasnt sure if he was going to start up a conversation yet or not. He closed his lunch box and looked up at me, our eyes locked again and I knew we were about to have another mind clearing conversation. Chapter Five: "I live alone up the street from the library which was convenient when I would go to college but now its even better because when my parents try to FaceTime me while im there the library makes an awesome college looking background. I even get the kids behind me in the frame so it looks like there are kids learning with me" he said all of this like he could trust me with anything and it was cool. I never moved my eyes from his. His eyes lit up like Christmas tree as he talked and he made every conversation he spoke about seem important. " Okay enough about me, can you tell me why you dedicate your entire day sitting here?" My eyes suddenly moved from his and here came the flood of worries back into my mind. What if he wasnt as interested in my life as I was in his, or if he criticized something I said. " Im an open book, I have majored in science and minored in business but dont have a job, my job is watching the world change, I guess. Whats the sense of getting a job just to loose it or retire from it. " I said all of this not looking at him, just at my hands folded in my lap. "Wow, as if I needed another reason to like you!" He said that sentence in true awe for some reason. When I looked up his eyes were in the same position they were when I listened to him talk, as if he was still focusing on me even though I wasnt looking at him. " Lets get out of here! Its friday and my parents know I have no classes today" he said with a smirk as he held out his hand. I got up and took his hand in mine and he led us to the exit. I was not sure where we were going but for some reason I trusted him. Chapter Six: I know what your thinking, and kids dont try this at home, trusting a stranger at a train station is probably not the smartest idea. Noah and I walked out of the station and it was 1:16 and he pulled out his phone to look up something. It was all shattered but he managed to read the screen just fine. " Perfect we have twenty minutes to get there! Do you wanna go to the movies?" Noah looked at me and pushed his hair back waiting for me to answer. " I would love to, which one?" I said not overly excited but a decent amount. My mind was probably trying to figure out how excited to be that a stranger just asked me to the movies and I was saying yes. " All of them!" He took my hand and we made it to the movies and got two tickets. I followed him to the theater and saw it was some french silent film playing. We walked in and it was half way over. " I thought you said we had time to make it" I said to Noah because I was confused. "Just watch" the look on his face was lovely. It was like a look you could never get tired off. I smiled and just watched. The movie was getting intense even though we had missed a good twenty minutes of it. We were in the theater for about ten minutes then Noah grabbed my arm and led me out of the theater. " Come on we are going to miss the next movie!" he said this as we ran to the next room over. We sat in the back and it was a war movie. At this point you are probably as confused as I am. I was not sure what was going on or why we just ran out of one movie and ran into another, but I was just going with it. He did the same thing for the next three movies. We watched ten minutes of five movies. A silent love story in France, a war movie, a cartoon, a documentry about America, and a space movie. " Well?" he said looking at me happily. " I cant really give you my thoughts on any of them becasue we only saw parts of each." I looked at him and smiled because I was still super confused. " You told me your job was to watch the world change, I helped you watch it change in 50 minutes. You witnessed love, war, youth, America, and Space change all in one day. You are welcome." Chapter Seven: Noah and I walked back to the train station and we both went home. I rode my bike and noticed that as many question as Noah asked, he never once asked me what my name was. If you met someone and impacted their life so much in only two days, how could you not want to know their name. The next day I went with a only a pencil, notebook and a bottle of water. This time me and Noah arrived at the exact time. We sat down and I put my notebook and pencil out on the little side table next to us. " Are you going to survey me today! I already told you everything." he smirked and just looked at me. " Why havent you asked me my name?Its a silly question to ask but I need to know, and..." I said it so quickly it was like my mind didnt even have time to proccess the sentence and it just kept going. Noah leaned in and kissed me and smiled as if he were hiting pause on my question. " Lea is my name" I just starred into his eyes waiting for him to say something. "Almost as lovely as you," He got up and handed me a list of all the towns in London. " Come on Lea!" he ran to the train list and wrote down the times. The light coming off the sign lit up his face. He had such a sweet look on his face like a child, everything he did or said seemed so kind, like he was too pure for this world. " Okay Lea so if we go now we can see every town from the train without getting off, you can see London change in a day!" It amazed me how he was so interested in helping me see the world change. " Noah as much as you help me see the world change, promise me you wont." I said this as I was putting my train ticket in my wallet. " Lea, I dont even carry change in my pockets." Everything he said he ended with a smile. We got on the train and he sat super close to me, I didnt mind it just seemed he was scared and sat that close for comfort. " Are you okay Noah?" I held his hand and tried to make eye contact with him but he just looked out the window. " I am great! I just never really liked this part of London that is all" even when he was scared he sounded like he was fine. As the train went foward Noah looked at me " Watch this!" he pointed to the little houses and the sign said population 100. As we rode past the end of that town we entered the next town and it had huge buildings and its population was in the thousands. "Population and building increase, change right before your eyes." he smiled so big and all I could do was smile back." " Lea is there something you wanted so badly but never thouhgt you would have," his question sounded so sincere like he really wanted to know an answer. I looked at him and everytime I looked into his eyes all I could do was smile, " To be honest all I ever wanted was someone to truely love me so much and do great things with them." He looked at me and said " Man am I good, I occomplished two things you wanted in one day." I swear Noahs smile might bring world peace. At this point, atleast my world was at peace. Chapter Eight: We were coming close to the end of our day on the train. We entered back into our town and we where ten minutes from our station. " Noah, your phone rang at least thirty times while we where on the train maybe you should call those people back what if it is important." I looked down to see Noahs head resting on my shoulder and he had fallen asleep. How could someone look so kind and perfect even while sleeping? The train let out a loud whistling sound and Noahs whole body jumped up as if someone had scared him. "I am sorry Lea, that sound always seems to scare me now, maybe because I never noticed how loud it was." his voice sounded like he was sleepy and I knew he was because we had had a long day. " It is okay Noah, we are almost back at the train station anyways! I think your parents tried calling you a few times, maybe they know you are skipping class today" I said to him jokingly and we both smiled at eachother. "It is probably nothing, they know I am okay I will talk to them later." He shut his phone off and put his head back on my shoulder. The train stopped and Noah and I got off. We had spent 12 hours on the train and it was now 8 at night. " Ms. Lea would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Noah said this as if it was written down on paper and I was reading it in my head. " Sure where!" I said things to him now in confidence, the three days we already had together was like I knew Noah for years. " Lets go to my favorite place." I assumed it would be some high end restraunt that served six meals and my outfit would not meet the standord dress code, man was I never happy to be more worng. We walked up to this field with blankets all around and people all having their own little picnics while watching the sun set. You could order your own personal picnic basket and just sit and talk at your own blanket and no one rushed. He told me topick basket and then meet him at the spot we had chosen to sit. I picked one and handed it to him, " I hope you like turkey sandwiches." At this point if we didnt end a conversation with a smile you should assume something is wrong. We ate our food and watched the sun go down and it was the most my mind had been at ease in a long time. Noahs phone rang again and again and everytime it rang he shut it down. " Noah what if someone needs you?" I told him it was okay if he answered his phone and talked for awhile if he wanted me to walk myself home. " Lea, no one needs me that badly to call thirty five times, it is okay! I think it is time to go home now though because the last train is almost going." He lent out his hand and he held mine. We walked back to the station and he wrote down his apratment number and phone number. " Now if you call me, do not worry, I will not let it ring thirty five times, I will gladly answer." He smiled and went on his train and I walked to my apartment. Chapter Nine: I texted Noah and told him to come to my place today because there was going to be bad weather and it was not a good idea to be traveling alot. He came in and his smile lit up my entire apartment. " Wow look how big your bay window is! I guess with a job like yours, watching the world change must be pretty fun threw this window!" " Noah, seeing the world change with you is way more fun." He got up and kissed me softly and looked into my eyes " Lea you made these past four days so amazing we missed the biggest change of them all, we have changed eachother. People change people. Boom, another change right in front of you. Maybe we should do this job together." He kissed me again and it felt as if I had no worries in the world. His phone buzzed again and he stopped it, this time it was a flood of texts instead of a call. " Noah why dont you just answer." his phone had half a message typed out but never sent. " Lea, it is truely okay, my parents found out where I was and know I am okay. Honestly." He smiled at me and told me he had to go. " Tomorrow comeby me and we can think of a new adventure." The door shut and all I could do was smile. I never knew how badly I needed someone like him in my life until he was in it. I understand we only met not even a full week ago but it just seems like he has something no one esle in the world does. Chapter Ten: Noah texted me the next mroning telling me to meet him at the library. I rode my bike into the parkinglot and there he was, standing there with flowers and his beautiful smile. " I picked these for you from the place we ad dinner at the other night on my way home from your apartment." I understand I have said this a million times, but everytime he smiled my heart melted. " Thank you Noah, for everything." He looked up and just smirked. We walked into the library and we sat all the way in the back. We just talked for along time about our favorite authors and books. He showed me how to read between the lines. We laughed and talked for a long time there, and no body seemed to care. Noah and I had again spent an entire day together, and today he walked me home. " Lea I will see you tomorrow my love." he hugged me, like the way a child hugs his parents on the first day of school. " I love you Lea." he said this so softly and he was still hugging me. " I love you too Noah, thank you for showing me how fast the world changes everyday." I went to let go of our hug and he was still holding on. It was a super tight hug like he was scared to let go. " Hey, Noah look at me, it is okay we will see eachother tomorrow Noah whats wrong?" he pulled away from me and our eyes locked again. " It has been my honor to help you see the world this past week, see you tomorrow Ms. Lea." He kissed me goodbye and I just watched him walk until his outline was gone because he turned the corner. Chapter Eleven: Noah: "Hello my love I would like to take you on a new adventure today." I woke up to that text from Noah and an instant smile came over my face. I texted him back asking him where I should meet him and he told me to meet him at his apartment. I got ready then rode my bike to his place. Noah lived on the second floor of his building, and the third one in. When I got to the door all I could notice was the huge stack of mail piling outside his door. " Hey Noah its me, do you want me to get all this mail off of your door mat?" " Its okay Lea we have something fun to do today, lets go!" he said as he opened his door and then locked it behind him and took my hand. He took me to the park next to his apartment and we sat down next to the pond." Is it cool if todays adventure we just relax?" He said it like he was sad to be asking. " Sure Noah, we dont need to hangout today if you dont want to." I went to get up and he stopped me. " No I just want to talk about me and you today only, not about anything else." He pulled me closer to him and kissed me, " So tell me Lea is there anything else you want to know about me?" I guess this was a good thing he asked being that we really didnt know much about eachother. " What came up that made you quit college and why cant you tell your parents?" He looked at me with such a sad look on his face I instantly regretted asking him. " Im sorry Noah never mind" I said it super fast and with no emotion in my voice. " Its okay Lea! I quit college because I got in involved with the wrong type of kids in college, not drugs or anything, they just were the wrong ffriends to choose." he paused for a second and then once he started talking he couldnt stop. Chapter Twelve: " They wanted alot from me, I was only a freshman so I wanted to make friends fast because I was scared of being alone. So when these groups of guys asked me if I wanted to hangout with them I was all for it. We did normal things like play pool and go to the lounge and just hangout with people. I felt for the first time in along time that I was popular. Of course the guys went to parties alot and stuff but the nights they went out I stayed home. I would call my parents and talk to them for hours because I missed them alot. One night the guys told me to comeout with them and I said okay. I told them I wouldnt drink and they called me names jokingly and then said whatever. It was this big party behind the tracks and everybody who was anybody was there." he looked at me and smiled " I really wish I knew you then because you could have came with me and I would have had a way better time." I feel like part of the reason he said that was to make sure I was still listening. He didnt need to though because I was truthfully intrested in what he was saying. " Everyone was having a grand time and I was just there... My friends saw I was on my phone and they took it from me. They made stupid comments and threw my phone back and forth to one another." Noah wasnt looking at me anymore but instead just at the ground, and then he looked up at me and smiled. I had tears in my eyes for some reason I wasnt sure why it just seemed like he was sad and I hadnt seen that part of him before. " Its okay my love, after that night I stopped attending college and never told my parents. Thats all." He locked his eyes on mine and whipped the tears off my face, " I was never the partying type and thats all that business school focused on, who needs them anyways." I dont understand how someone who looked so sad could stay so positive. We stayed quiet for the rest of the time we where there. I had fallen asleep lying next to him. When I woke up and he was there sleeping so peacefully. By the time we had both been fully awake the moon was out. " The stars are my favorite part about the night." Noah said this with his adorable smile looking right at me. " My mom and dad told me the night before I went to college that if I ever felt alone to look at the stars and know they were looking at the same thing, and to imagine we were looking at them together." he took my hand " Lea if you ever feel alone or there comes a time where we miss one another just look at the stars." " Noah thank you for not letting college or those boys change your personality." He grinned and said " Just remember the stars are ours my love." and we went back to our own apartments. Chapter Thirteen: Todays date was March 12, and me and now had hungout for a total of nine days. In those nine days we said we loved one another, kissed and hugged each other, helped eachother see the change in the world, and clame the stars as ours. I had forgotten how much of a mess my mind had been and I never felt better. We accomplished alot in nine days that some people couldnt accomplish in a life time. I hadnt heard from Noah all day that morning about any new adventures. I checked my phone every minute and there was nothing. I decided to call him and there was no answer. I had a fereling something was wrong so I decided to go to the museum today because maybe Noah needed a break from me and I have not bedn there in a few days. Chapter Fourteen: Of course out of all the days, today the museum was closed. I walked to the library to just relax. When I walked in I saw a bunch of college students doing a power point so I tried to sit away from them. They were making a slideshow about someone and some students were crying. I overheard one of them say " It has been almost two months and I still can not believe it." and another say how it was just a terrible accidnet. I hated seeing people cry and I wanted to call Noah badly at this point just to hear his voice. I couldnt take the sound of the students crying anymoe so I got up and walked to Noahs apartment. I was hoping he would be home. At this point I was wondering where he had went because I figured he would have called me back or texted me by now. When I got to his door there was even more mail and packages now too. They were from WEC University, the college Noah had attented but dropped out of. I slide it them to the the side so I could knock on his door. As I did so the corner of his door mat came up and a key was showing. " Hey Noah its Lea, I just wanna make sure you are okay, can I come in?" there was no answer. Okay what I am about to do next is super creepy for a girl to do after only knowing a guy fo nine days, but I used the key from under the matt and opened his door. It opened really slow and the apartment was silent. "Noah are you okay?" my voice was super shakey because I was scared. His apartment looked like a picture out of a magazine. Everything was in a perfect place and everything was so organized. I walked around and no one was in the apartment. His answering machine was blinking and in red numbers it said he had 76 missed messages. I guess he doesnt like answering messages. I walked back to the library and my mind went instantly back to a mess. Chapter Fifteen: The college students where still there and they were now laughing and looking at pictures of the student. I saw that one of them had a sweatshirt on that said WEC on it. I wonder if they would remember Noah. I walked up to them " Hey I am Lea! Im not sure whatgrade you guys are in but do you by any chance know who Noah Prinslo is?" as the words came out of my mouth I looked down and saw Noahs face on one of the pictures in a girls hand. "Hey yeah! thats him right there" I sounded more excited then the the students looked. "How did you know him" a girl said giving me an unfriendly look. " I still know him" I said, " I..." the students all just looked at me confused and all turned away from me. One boy got up and walked me to the back of the library. " Did no one tell you what happened to Noah?" I was getting nervous and just nodded my head no. The boy handed me a newspaper with the heading " COLLEGE BOYS' DEATH BY TRAIN HAS WEC UNIVERSITY IN SHOCK." " He was at a party one night and some stupid frat boys took his phone and threw it and it landed on the tracks. He ran to pick it up and his foot got stuck on one part of the tracks. The party was so loud and people where drunk that no one heard him calling for help. We heard the train let out a loud sound and we thought it was because we were not aloud to be there so we all aplit before the cops could catch us. The next morning a lady went to the police station because she had found Noahs phone shattered and she just wanted to return it. They went to investigate and later that day in the papers the article saying Noah passed away cameout. Poor kid was always so friendly what a shame. His parents didnt even know where he had went to the party or anything." I ran out of the library and to Noahs apartment without saying a word to that boy, he had to be lying, it could not be true. Chapter Sixteen: I opened Noahs door and cried out his name. I had tears running down my face it was as if all my feelings were coming out all at once and my mind was everywhere. I ran to his answering machine and clicked on the speaker button. It said " MESSAGES FROM JANUARY ( and it rambled off a bunch of dates.) MESSAGE ONE " Noah come out tonight man it will be fun and we are going to buy som..." I skipped it, " Noah dont forget to call us tonight to tell us what time you are coming home next weekened. We love you and cant wait to see you. Mum says you passed you last two test with 90s and we are so proud of you lad, call me back later" I still had tears streaming down my face I felt my chest closing like it was harder to inhale. I probably should have stopped listening but I kept going. " YOOOOO NOAH DUDE WEAR THOSE NEW SHOES YOU GOT TONIGHT THEY ARE AWESOME AND TONIGHT WILL BE SUPER FUN DUDE YOU ARE GOING TO THANK ME ONE DAY FOR THIS BUDDY..." I cut off that one too and the next 15 from that same boy saying how fun that night would be. The next message was from the night of the party. " NOAH MANNNNNNNNNN CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS I COULDNT FIND YOU ONCE WE ALL SPLIT DUDE BEFORE THE COPS COULD COME..." the kid called another three times and said the same thing probably because he was too drunk to know he called already. "Noah sweety its your mum, you didnt call us back yesterday, just calling to make sure all is okay. Call me back." " Noah its me again honey please call me back." "Noah enough now you are making me worried" " Noah the cops just said they found your cellphone please call them and say you will go pick it up, if you think we are mad that you broke it dont worry we can get a new one just call us." " Noah please your mother is in a panic thinking you are hurt." " Buddy its me dad again, we love you and know you cant be the boy they said they found by the tracks so please call me to tell me you are okay." That was the last message I listened to because I couldnt take it anymore. I dont understand. The only thing I could think to do was call his mom and dad.I wrote down the number from the answering machine and called. Chapter Seventeen: "Hello?" I said it so softly, almost silent, " Is this Mrs. Prinslo?" I was shaking. " Yes this is she, who is calling?" " Hi Mrs. Prinslo this is Lea and I have some questions to ask you about your son Noah if you are willing to talk." "I am always willing to talk about him. Lea, what do you want to know?" " Thank you, recently I have felt super close to Noah and to my understanding he has passed away two months ago." "Yes Lea this is true, how did you know him, did you go to school with him?" " He met me at the train station awhile back and taught me things I never knew I needed to learn, I just wanted to tell you how special he was and that he was such a lovely person. I am honored to say I knew him." " Thank you Lea. He was such a great son, thank you for calling." I hungup the phone and felt like that conversation was fake. I opened my laptop and googled his name. All the news articles came up saying how he died, and it gave the name of the cemetary he was burried at. I wrote down the place and rode my bike there. Chapter Eighteen: His grave was lonely. It was near a tree. It read "NOAH PRINSLO: OUR LOVELY SON NOW AMOUNG THE STARS. 1996-2016. " I kneeled down next ot the grave and rubbed my hand over it. "Hi Noah, I love you." I stoppped talking because I started to cry. " Lea I never wanted to tell you I am sorry my love." He was standing behind me. "Your mind was such a beautiful mess and I wanted to help you fix it." " Noah this is impossible, how are you here Noah you are dead." I didnt even like saying it out loud but nothing was making sense at all. "Lea I needed to help you see the world change so you could start living in it before it changes too much." Noah knelt down next to me and kissed the top of my head. "You need to start living your life beyond the park and the museum Lea. I said I was scared to break this world and you told me it was already broken. You need to fix. Change the world Lea, make it unbroken." Noah had tears running down his face and I just hugged him. I was scared to let him go. " I need to go now my love, I need to." He let go of me and the last thing niah said to me that day and forever was " Just remember the stars are ours." and I was suddenly just holding the air. Chapter Nineteen: A week had gone by and since that day at the grave yard I havent seen Noah. Nothing made sence anymore. I stayed up late just staring at the ceiling. Everything I loved about Noah wasnt even there. The exact train that killed him he road with me everyday. That loud sound that killed him bought him closer to me. His cracked phone, his messages, him telling me his parents knew he was okay, him dropping out of college. He didnt drop out he just couldnt go anymore because that thing that " came up" was death. He knew all my thoughts because he could see right though. He never had to ask me my name because he already knew it. It was no accident that he met me at the train station that day. He was sent to me to help me not only change the world but fix it. How am I suppose to fix something I dont understand. The one thing that made me think straight is gone. I am not even sure how Im supposed to feel anymore. I went from me thinking I have a messy mind to me slowly lossing it. Chapter Twenty: I decided to stop going to the library and the park. I didnt even go to the train station at all anymore. Everything I did reminded me of Noah. For someone who was only in my life for 9 days, he changed it forever. His accent was stuck in my head. Sometimes the thoughts I had sounded like his voice, like he was my conscience. I stayed home alot and just looked out my window. I decided to go outside tonight and sit out there because I needed fresh air. I closed my eyes and just sat there. I was just trying to clear my head. When I opened my eyes it was as if every star in the world was out. As if 3 million new stars were created. I felt like the night changed me. I went back inside and decided to make a trip to the bank in the morning. Chapter Twenty One: I dressed super buisness woman like this morning. I walked into the bank and took out my 5 million dollars. I went home and started to do alot of research about making a business. It took me a total of three weeks before I figured everything I needed to. Noah told me to change this world and thats what I was determind to do. I opened up my own business online called Penny for your thoughts, change the world one day at a day at a time with the change in your pockets. The business only cost me 300 dollars to make and I put all the rest of the money I had I just donated to Penny for your thoughts. I dedicated my business to Noah and the money people donated I gave to Noahs mom. Turns out Noahs parents owed alot of moeny to hospitals from when they tried to save Noah and they still owed money to the college. Im just trying to fix this world and my mind through change.