The Canary and the Robin (Jason Todd x Reader)
Warnings: I know reader acts like a white person in a horror movie but bear with me, OOC Talia, descriptions of torture, Joker hurting Jason, descriptions of flashbacks of torture, allusions to sexual assault from the Joker unto Jason but not descriptive at all, panic attack, ignore locations and timelines, timer soulmates once they turn 8, swearing, a lotta angst (literally starts out with Jasonâs funeral), but happy ending, hurt/comfort, Jason doesnât have guns or an autopsy scar in this cause heâs Robin still and lemme tell you itâs so unnatural for me to write him without those, perspective switching, conscious wording (so everything is written like that for a reason), Jasonâs awful parents and their drinking and harassment (just descriptions on them yelling and drinking and smoking), spoilers to Great Gatsby, kinda open ended, but also not at all? if that makes sense, lemme know if I missed anything
Word Count: 12k so grab some snacks and tissues
Canary in a coal mine is a common term meant to describe something thatâs unusually sensitive to conditions that make it a useful early indicator of negatively changing circumstances.
Jasonâs funeral was on May 16th, just eight months after he had been taken by the Joker. Alfred had chosen daisies, lilacs, and lotuses for the flowers, but Bruce brought a bouquet of hyacinths to lay on his sonâs casket. As much as Bruce Wayne liked to flaunt his wealth, these hyacinths were hand pulled from his own gardens. Roots and dirts still clung to the end of the stems when Jasonâs coffin was lowered into the ground.Â
Dick had come in from Bludhaven. When he had heard the news, his timer stopped and reversed itself until it added a year and a half onto his time. He had just gotten a brother and had been learning how to be a role model when his brother was dragged away from him, kicking and screaming. It wasnât fair, Dick kept repeating to himself. A teenager shouldnât be targeted just because he eagerly trailed on Batmanâs heels, snarky comebacks and smirks ready to fire.
There was a public funeral where paparazzi clicked away at their cameras and Bruce stood stoically in the front row, clearing his throat at the podium when he had to make a eulogy. There was then a private funeral where the casket was actually lowered beneath a gladiolus bush. There were no eulogies for none of the family could bring themselves to say much. It was just Bruce, Alfred, Dick, and Barbara. Selina Kyle showed up that night in Bruceâs room and Dick pretended not to hear Bruceâs sobs. Alfred stood in the doorway of Jasonâs old room, feather duster in hand. After a couple of minutes, he hung his head and walked off, closing the door behind him. Nothing was cleaned.
The next day, tabloids displayed the pictures of Bruce Wayne standing by a casket. Bruce stopped investing in any companies that did. His own stock dropped, but Bruce wasnât answering his financial advisorâs calls. He wasnât answering any calls.Â
It was late one night and Dick couldnât sleep. He had been wanting to return to Bludhaven, but whenever he opened his suitcase, he couldnât bring himself to pack. He found Alfred in the kitchen, pouring some hot tea. âI figured you would join me one night,â Alfred commented without looking back.Â
Dick couldnât help but chuckle, rubbing his eyes. âYour sixth sense is never wrong, Alfred.âÂ
Alfred slid a cup over to Dick who took it thankfully, not caring that the tea burnt his tongue. Perhaps it was what he deserved for not being there to help Jason. âI shouldâve-â
âMister Grayson,â Alfred cut him off. âThe Joker was ten steps ahead of Batman. Not even the powerful Nightwing couldâve helped. And you could not have flown to Africa in time.âÂ
âIt was closed casket,â Dick whispered out. âI didnât even get to see my little brother before he was gone.â His voice cracked and he cleared his throat.Â
âIt was closed casket because Master Wayne couldnât find Master JasonâsâŚâ Alfred exhaled and corrected himself, âHe couldnât find Master Jason.â
Dickâs head lifted and his hands clenched around his cup. âWhat?â he breathed out. Desperation filled his voice, âbut Alfie, he could still be out there! Jason could be alive!â Alfred simply gave him a stern look and Dickâs stomach bubbled with nausea. âYeah,â he muttered bitterly. âI donât know what I was thinking.â His jaw tensed and after a moment, he decided, âIâm going to go back to Bludhaven tomorrow.â
âSafe travels,â is all Alfred said.
It was then that Bruce woke from a nightmare of his dead son screaming out for him.
~~~~
You hadnât meant to be passing by Arkham Asylum. It wasnât something one did intentionally; in fact, many people went out of their way to avoid it. But it seemed as if fate wasnât on your side today, for when your car broke down right outside Arkham Asylum, you didnât notice the watch on your wrist ticking down quicker and quicker. You swore to yourself and took the mace out of your glove compartment before sliding your keys in between your fingers. Arkham Asylum had been practically abandoned for years, but perhaps there was a janitor or receptionist who could help you get service. Then you could call a mechanic and get the hell out of there.Â
The gates to Arkham had rust creeping up the edges and the lock clanged sharply against its chains. Maybe there wasnât going to be a receptionist in the building⌠But perhaps there would be a phone you could use. In order for the gates to creak open, you had to force your bodyweight against the metal and try to shove the lock out of the way, praying you didnât get tetanus in the process.Â
The door to Arkham, however, swung open without a sound. It seemed as if someone had been regularly visiting the Asylum, even if there was no one to visit â or love â in the building. âHello?â you stage whispered, phone flashlight on, and finger on the button on your mace.Â
There was clearly a reason why the public wasnât exposed to Arkham. All reports were classified and no photographers were allowed in. Wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape, you stared around at Arkham Asylum. The halls were long and dark, meant to cause paranoia and confusion. It was certainly working on you. The only light peeking through was from the grime covered windows and your flashlight. The ceiling was crumbling slightly and you were pretty sure Arkham had been under construction when it had been abandoned; otherwise, how could you explain all the dust, debris, and graffiti? You didnât even want to think of the disease-carrying rodents that were surely scurrying underneath your feet.Â
âIs anything here? That can help me?â Your voice echoed down the cell block, vibrating off the metal bars and old bunks.Â
You reeled back when your foot kicked a pebble, sending it ricocheting off your sneaker. After the pebble settled some yards away, you took in a steadying breath. You heard a faint sound, one that didnât sound at all like a pebble. âHello?â you asked again. Shadows danced around as you shone your flashlight down the hall, messing with your mind.Â
When you strained your ears, it sounded as if a faint wail could be heard. Your brows furrowed with worry and instinctively, you started towards it. Your watch ticked down faster as disquietude and anxiety rippled through you like snakes, biting and twisting in your veins. Your flashlight bounced over empty, desolate cells as your pace quickened and the screams got louder. You contemplated calling the police, but when you checked your phone, you didnât have any service. And who knew if the police would help or not? Arkham was a place only the brave or stupid went; right now, you were pretty sure you were the latter.Â
The screams took you deeper and deeper into the Asylum and you prayed that you would be able to find your way out. If you ever got out⌠your mind immediately thought.Â
It wasnât long before the blood curdling howls shook you to your bones. They seemed to be coming from a cell, yet when you pointed your flashlight towards it, heart thumping at what you might find, there was nothing. But the screams were there. You werenât making them up. Where the hell were they coming fromâ oh.
A shiver ran up your spine when you noticed the comical trapdoor in the corner of the cell. You wondered if the Arkham architects intentionally put it there when they were designing this horror house, or if an inmate had scraped a hidden passageway with a spoon they stole from the cafeteria.Â
Nonetheless, when you pried open the door, a wall of whimpers and cries from torture hit you full force. You shook your head, steeling yourself, before swallowing down the queasiness. The goosebumps on your arms were full-time residents now.Â
Your feet carried you down the dirt steps of the trapdoor. Your mind wasnât particularly your own. Your brain was foggy. Your body felt like a child had taken your hand and was leading you down the steps. Later in your life, when you thought back to that moment, you knew the universe had been guiding you. But even if you didnât make it out of Arkham Asylum, you knew your life was going to drastically change. The nonexistent hand squeezed yours in comfort as your heart jumped and pounded when the faint light at the bottom of the stairs grew brighter.Â
A small chamber resided under Arkham Asylum, as you found out that day. In the chamber were two people. One held a crowbar dripping with blood. His back was turned to you, but any citizen of Gotham would recognise that pastel green and purple suit anywhere. The Joker was alive.Â
But the second person caught your eye. He was strung up from the ceiling, crusty, brown chains trapping him midair. The red outfit he was wearing was being held together by tatters, but you didnât know if the outfit was originally red or covered with blood. A black and yellow cape was clinging onto the victimâs back, burnt and torn. A green utility belt had been thrown in the corner, its pockets overturned and emptied.Â
And your timer buzzed against your wrist.
You didnât register it at first, but after a moment of incessant buzzing, you tore your horrified stare away from the ruined man and to your wrist. A crude joke bounced into your head: so either my soulmate is the Joker or someone who wronged him⌠Either way, not ideal.Â
The Joker stood proud and tall, shoulders thrown back and grin wide. âCome on, Robby,â he taunted. âYou and I both know these little excursions of ours go better when you make noise. How I love to make you singâŚâ
It was then you registered the Robin symbol on the manâs breast. You slowly pieced everything together, realising that the person in front of you was the presumably dead Robin. You couldnât help the little, amazed curse word that slipped out from between your lips.Â
The Joker slid out a syringe from his pocket and slunk up beside Robin, injecting the green serum into his neck. Joker chuckled as he pressed the liquid further into Robinâs neck, whispering into his ear, ânow, now, you mustnât leave me, Robby. But whatever would you leave for? Now that the Bats has forgotten you.â Joker was mercilessly teasing the sidekick, spit flicking onto his cheek. Robin whimpered, a parched and cracked noise from the back of his throat.Â
âLouder, Robby, louder!â The Joker coaxed in a cooing voice. You grimaced and wanted to crawl out of your skin at his voice. Once you realised your mace wasnât going to do you any good, your eyes darted around the small torture dungeon. Eventually, they landed on a discarded, bent pipe that had a disturbing red colour coated on. You willed yourself not to think of what the substance was.Â
Even though Robinâs limp, swinging body was facing towards you, you doubted he could see you. With the drugs running through his veins, his vision would surely be blurred and his mind muddled.
It was just your luck when, as you were inching towards the pipe, your phone decided to work and began buzzing loudly, indicating a call from your friend, Talia. The Joker whirled around, crowbar in hand and you squealed, grabbing the pipe. Before the Joker could react, his eyes widening in shock, you swung the pipe at his head. With the clang of metal against skull, the Joker collapsed, unconscious. You stared down at him, disbelief flooding your body. Oh my god, I just killed the Joker. Or, at the very least, gave him a good concussion. Your hands shook as a little pool of blood seeped out from Jokerâs head. You dropped the pipe and it clattered to the dirt floor. A little groan that escaped Robin and your still-ringing phone brought you back to Earth.Â
âShit, shit, I gotta get outta here,â you muttered, looking around frantically. Your phone kept ringing and with a swear, you brought it to your ear. âWhat?â you growled out.Â
âWow, what has your panties in a twist?â Talia asked back snarkily.Â
You held your phone between your shoulder and your head as you hurried towards Robin. âNothing, nothing, sorry,â you muttered as you attempted to free him from the chains. âWhyâre you calling?â
âWhy are you so stressed? You sound like you just ran a marathon,â Talia said through the phone. You could envision her checking her nails while doing so.Â
âIâm fine, Iâm fine.â You finally got Robinâs wrists to slip from the chains and he fell down onto you. You grunted under his weight. Apparently, just because he had been starved and tortured for months didnât mean he had lost his superhero muscle.Â
Talia paused for a moment and you could practically hear the gears in her brian turning. âDo you need me to help hide a body?â she asked suddenly.Â
You laughed nervously as you shifted Robin to your shoulder and began dragging him towards the steps. âNo?â you finally answered. âThough if you wanted to meet me by Arkham Asylum with your working car and a cure for an almost dead superhero, that would be great.â
âI will be there in twenty minutes.â
~~~~
âHow did this happen?â Talia demanded, more curiosity in her voice than malice and anxiety. You were in her passenger seat, staring at the wounded Robin who was laid in the back. Talia weaved through traffic with ease, headed towards the Yuyan Building.
âI donât know!â you cried out, panic infusing itself into your blood. It felt similar to the way the Joker had infused serum into Robin. You clutched at the seatbelt, hoping it would take some of your dread. âMy car just stopped working and then I was just going into Arkham Asylum like an idiot and I found the dead Robin! He was supposed to be dead, right? It was all over the news!â
âAnd then Batman got another Robin,â Talia added, almost bitterly. You shot her a confused look and she glanced over at you. Her eyes flickered down to your wrist before you yelled at her to focus on the road again. âYou are a rational person, Y/n,â Talia began as the car screeched to a halt outside an imposing, ornate building. You stared up at it as Talia got out of the car. You scrambled to help her with Robin. The two of you each had one of his arms over your shoulders, his feet scraping along the ground, head lolling to the side, as you carried him in. âI do not think you would go into Arkham Asylum without something else guiding you,â Talia continued. âDo not think I did not notice your stopped timer. He is your soulmate, is he not?â
You nodded, not trusting your words. You were worried you would start crying if you actually had a moment to process all of the dayâs events. âWill your dad help?â you asked finally, voice wavering.
Talia chuckled dryly, eyes narrowing on a fixed point ahead of you. She led you and Robin deeper into Yuyan Building. âIf it gets on Batmanâs good side? Absolutely.â
âIâll take him after youâre done healing him,â you added quickly. âIâll take him back home and care for him if you and your dad help me this one time.â You realised it sounded like you were begging for help. Briefly, you wondered what had happened in such a short time to make you care so much for Robin. Part of you decided it was what any rational, kind human being would do â help someone who was badly hurt â but another part of you knew that wasnât the case. You felt tied to this boy you didnât even know the name of. Whether it was through your soulmate bond or not, you knew you were connected to Robin. You felt his pain and terror. Even though he was unconscious, you could feel his resistance tugging against you. He didnât want to go with you. He was scared of what you might do to him. His emotions dug into you and you felt a whimper crawling up your throat, begging for escape.Â
It was then you steeled yourself and decided one thing: you werenât going to let your soulmate die.Â
Yuyan Building held deeper secrets, you realised. Talia directed you down long hallways and steep stairwells and you felt bad for the custodians who had to clean up Robinâs trail of blood. It was long minutes, full of you groaning under Robinâs weight and Talia looking unaffected, before Talia stopped at a large, ominous door.Â
You couldnât look Raâs in the eye as he slung Robin into the Lazarus Pit. You could only watch the bubbling green liquid as Robin slowly sunk to the bottom. Agonising minutes ticked by, halted only by Raâs and Talia whispers to each other.Â
You hugged yourself tightly after five minutes passed and you called anxiously to Talia, âdo- does he need help? Is he hurting? Why is it taking so long?â
âHe had a lot of injuries, Y/n,â Talia reassured you, coming to place a hand on your shoulder in comfort. âHe will be okay.â
Yeah. Heâll be okay.
~~~~
Jasonâs eyes burned. Green was all that he could see. He tried to breathe in, but the only thing that filled his lungs was the green surrounding him. When the liquid filled his lungs and he coughed out, bubbles trailed up to the surface like a safety rope guiding the way.Â
Jason stretched a hand out in front of him, muscles aching at disuse. âWell, we wouldnât want you to run away, would we, Robby?â The Jokerâs voice called after him as Jason kicked his feet futilely. âNot our little prince!âÂ
A flitting feeling coursed through Jason: curiosity and concern, but he was too weak to form a thought. His arm, reaching out towards the bubbles that led him upward, didnât look like his own. He remembered the scars criss-crossing along it and he remembered the dirt and grime infecting cuts and burns, even digging its way underneath his nails, but he didnât remember looking so⌠strong. Since when did he have the muscles and veins that looked like years of exercise had paid off? Batman had kept him fit â Robin needed to be able to hold his own, but he didnât quite remember it working so well.Â
His hand finally breached the top of the green waves, grasping up towards breathable air and safety.Â
Green. Like the Joker. Another one of his charades. A playing card, to show Jason he wasnât free yet. He was never free.
Everything was disillusioning. His vision veered sideways before becoming foggy and nausea crashed through Jason, like the waves in which he was trying to fight against.
âStop struggling!â he heard someone cry out, âyouâre making your own waves! You have to swim.â
He saw someone reaching out towards him and without a second thought, Jason extended his bandaged hand, clinging onto the buoy in the storm. Their hand was soft and comforting and dragged him out of the water. Jason allowed himself to be dragged. He didnât have the energy to fight the Joker. He had given up much too long ago.Â
âWhat did you do to him?â someone asked once Jason fell to the ground. The world spun around him and he couldnât recognise whomever was speaking. He gasped in desperate air, filling his deprived lungs.Â
âTake in a good, deep breath, Robby. Smell that blood? Itâs yours. A reminder that Bats isnât gonna come save you. Doesnât it smell delicious?â The Joker hissed at him, inhaling himself. He cackled and licked his lips. âYouâre a sweet little bird, arenât you?â
âWhy does he look like that?â the same voice asked. Jason heard a small thud over the ringing in his ears.Â
âThe Lazarus Pit not only receives, but it returns, ten times stronger,â a deep voice explained. âIt takes what it has been given, and it blossoms it into its full potential. What it needs to become.â
Jason flinched away from the hands that rested on him. The hands retreated and Jason wondered what new tactic the Joker was trying. The Joker never retreated.
The voices were getting more frantic and his heartbeat seemed amplified. As Jason was slowly lifted up, he passed out.
~~~~
The next time Jason woke up, the first thing he noticed was the clock. There was a digital clock on a small table beside him, green numbers staring unblinkingly up at him. Green as in the Joker. Clock as in a bomb. Does he want me to defuse the bomb? Or is it all a trick? The Joker never let me see any clocks. Time was a valuable construct, one the Joker used to his advantage. If Jason didnât know how much time had passed, the Joker could stretch the days and the torture.Â
It took Jason a moment to blink the sleep from his mind. Then, he let his eyes flick around the room as his body stayed perfectly still. It was a tactic he learned from Batman â never let anyone know you were awake. He could categorise helpful information for later, such as possible escape routes, and if the Joker didnât know he was awake quite yet, there would be less time for torture.
The former Robin was in a room. He didnât recognise it and that scared Jason more than he would ever admit. There was a dresser opposite him with pictures on it. He couldnât quite make out who was in the pictures, but it didnât quite matter yet. A closet door was closed and next to it stood a tall mirror that had a blanket thrown over it. A small bookshelf sat beside him and when Jason had the mental capacity, he couldnât help but feel the pull to read the titles. It smelled better than anything in a long time. Instead of urine and festering skin, this place smelled like lavender and vanilla.Â
It was only then Jason realised he was laying on a bed. And there were no restraints tying him down to it.Â
What new tactic was this? What scheme was the Joker pulling? What game did he want Jason to play? What was the objective? The trick Jason had to uncover to live another day?Â
Green and purple and yellow whirled around Jason and he gripped his head, begging the colours to stop. Carnival music played loudly in his ears, that same damn tune for the past thirty six hours.Â
Strapped to a chair, there was nowhere to escape the Jokerâs mind games. Jason had been sedated more times than he could count and dragged to new locations where the Joker found new ways to torment him. Todayâs lucky special was the Jokerâs old hideout at the abandoned carnival.Â
It wasnât long before the Jokerâs voice rang out from within hidden speakers. âShow me those street smarts, Robby! Play with me. Maybe Iâll let you goâŚâ he jeered and inveigled.Â
The spinning stopped and Jason planted his feet on the ground. His head dipped and his mouth hung open, eyes crossed and half-lidded. The Joker stood before him, leaning on his crowbar. âAh, ah, ah,â the Joker tsked. âYou're losing your touch, Robby.â The Joker ran his tongue over his teeth, lips curling up in a tantalising grin before lifting the crowbar back.Â
Jason didnât hear anything before he blacked out.
It had seemed that he had blacked out in real life too, for the time had advanced three hours and the sun had sunk in the sky. Next to the clock was a tall glass of water and a small plate of crackers. Two pills of unassuming tylenol sat nearby.
Someone had been in here, Jason realised. The thought made his skin crawl and he quickly flung off the sheets, not used to the feeling of cotton. After a quick analysis of his body, even though his skin was already wrecked and flayed, there weren't the telltale nail marks on his thighs that the Joker had been there in his sleep. The only thing out of the ordinary were the bandages and cleaned wounds. His armour was nowhere to be seen and he had been stuffed into pyjama pants and a shirt that seemed a bit tight.Â
Panic flashed through his spine and Jason flung his legs over the mattress. He promptly collapsed and his knees ached at the impact. It took a moment of forcing his lungs open and letting oxygen flow through his system once more until he was able to crawl pathetically towards the covered mirror. His fingers twisted around the sheet and dragged it downward, letting it pool on the floor and around his legs.Â
Staring back at him wasnât his face. It was the face of someone who had lived ten more years and seen fifty more years of battle.Â
Jason promptly swung his fist at the glass, shattering the mirror and letting the shards rain down. But he could still see his reflection. Jason forced his eyes away from the unfamiliar face and the scars he could feel burning into his skin.
Just a trick of the Joker. Thatâs all it ever was. He was never free and never more would believe so. Everything was consumed by that pale skin, green hair, and purple nails. Everything was a mind game followed by excruciating pain.Â
His gaze drifted back to the water and crackers. It could be tainted. But the Joker also needed him alive to continue their games. There was always a grace period for Jason to heal before the next session began.Â
He limped back to the bed, downed the water, not daring to touch the pills, and fell back onto the pillow. He shifted and adjusted the pillow. It felt uncomfortable. He threw it to the other side of the room before rubbing at his aching wrists. His skin there was red and irritated, not used to being out of chains. That was unusual, when Jason truly thought about it. The Joker knew how powerful Jason was. Jason had even managed to escape his chains once, back when he was healthy and convinced Batman would come and rescue him. But a bullet to the malnourished stomach was enough to stop anyone.Â
He kept massaging his hands until his fingers skirted over the bare skin of the inside left wrist. It felt like something should be there. Something was missing.Â
âWell well well,â Jokerâs voice crooned in his ear. The manâs fingers curled around Jason's wrist. Long fingers tapped a tune on the proud watch that sat on Jasonâs skin, ticking like a heartbeat. âDoes our little Robby have a soulmate?âÂ
The boyâs muscles tensed, protesting against the Joker for the first time in weeks. He had been trying to keep the watch hidden for as long as possible, but he shouldâve known it was futile.
âBut who on earth could love you?â The Joker questioned deridingly.
Jasonâs cracked lips parted and he forced a ânoâ from his parched throat. âDonât.â
The Joker giggled â a high pitched, ugly sound that would haunt Jasonâs nightmareâs for years to come. âOh⌠and have you met your true love yet?âÂ
âStop it.â Jason wiggled away from the Jokerâs searing grip but nothing helped.
The psychopathâs nails embedded crescents into Robin's skin as he forced his wrist around. âNo no no,â the Joker tsked as he watched the clock inch down towards zero. âYou havenât met them yet⌠what?â He turned back towards Jason, eyes wide with fake innocence. âYou think theyâre gonna come save you, Robby?â A burst of laughter bubbled from the murderer. âNever,â he hissed in Jasonâs ear, making the boy cringe away, his chains swinging with him.Â
A sob crawled its way up Jasonâs lungs as the Joker grabbed his chains, steadying him, before licking a stripe up Jasonâs cheek, leaving behind saliva and horrid breath. The Joker then licked his lips, relishing in the taste of Robinâs blood and tears.Â
âYou really think you deserve anyone?â The Joker whispered in his ear, more serious than Jason had ever seen him. His fist clenched around Jasonâs watch and the boy let out a whimper. âYou donât.â The glass cracked under the Jokerâs force. âDeserve shit.â He ripped the soulmate watch from Jason and threw it to the ground. The delicate watch sprang open and the timer stopped in its tracks.Â
Jason let out a guttural scream as the Joker ground the glass into the dirt with his heel.Â
~~~~
A loud thump yanked Jason out of sleep. A sharp feminine yelp followed and Jason was instantly on his feet, no matter the spots that danced in his vision.Â
A small voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Alfred chastised him for not staying in bed and letting his body heal. âMaster Jason, how are you supposed to fight crime if you canât even walk straight?â
Nevertheless, Jason pushed open the door, raggedly breathing and clutching his side. He was sure he looked like a serial killer of some sort, blood staining through his bandages and hair sloppily matted to his forehead from sweat.Â
A girl stared at him from across the room. She was smaller than him, was what Jason noticed first. He then noticed her eyes. They were a striking colour and seemed to bore into him, knowing his every want and desire. They were cautious, yet Jason thought he imagined excitement running deep within the girl.Â
âWhoâre you?â Jason mumbled out, leaning heavily against the doorframe.Â
The girl took a breath and said, âIâm Y/n.â A blanket was curled around her feet, much like the blanket that Jason had snatched from the mirror hours earlier. Her hair was a bit messy and Jason categorised a pillow propped up against the armrest of the couch.Â
âHowâre youââ Jason cut himself off and shook his head. âWhatâre your⌠WhoâŚâ he struggled to find a question that encapsulated everything while not giving too much away about himself.Â
Y/n took a step closer, almost as if he was a wild animal that she didnât want to startle. It didnât work; Jason stumbled back over his feet and back into the bedroom. Y/n didnât follow. âI was at Arkham Asylum three days ago and found you.â
âWhat were you doing there?â Jason demanded, his words slurred.Â
âMy car broke down,â Y/n explained easily, though Jason didnât believe her one bit. âI was looking for help and⌠found you instead. I had to call a friend for help.â
Jason was done with pleasantries. Alfred had frowned upon swearing, and the boy had quickly learned not to use the words he had heard on the street or the insults villains spat at Batman once they were in handcuffs. But he wasnât standing next to Batman in bright spandex anymore. He was bleeding through someone elseâs clothes and he wasnât in his own body and there was a girl who was wearing a dark green sweatshirt and green reminded him of the Joker. âBullshit,â he growled out. His voice didnât have that prepubescent squeak to it anymore and his veined hand reached up to massage his throat.Â
Y/nâs brows stitched together and she stared up at him, slipping the cuffs of her sweater over her hands. âNo. Itâs not bullshit. I promise,â she said, her voice saccharine. âLook, youâve been sleeping for almost three days, trying to sleep off that poison the Joker put in you, Iâm sure.â
Jason flinched back so hard that he stepped back onto the glass shards from the mirror. It cut into his heel and he winced, blood already leaking from the wound.Â
âOh, Iâm sorry,â Y/n exclaimed, crouching down and then standing back up quickly. âIâm sorry. Do you want me to help you with that? Why donât you sit on the bed and Iâll grab some bandaids.â Y/n hurried away out of the bedroom and Jason stood still.Â
Help.Â
Help you.Â
âYouâre gonna help me win back Batman, Robby,â the Joker whispered in his ear, spit flicking on his face. âYou are vital. You will be his downfall.â
Help.
Help me.
Y/n came back, shaking Jason out of the parallels. âYouâre not on the bed,â she commented. Jasonâs feet automatically moved towards the bed â he knew better than to argue with the Joker, but then he remembered he wasnât with the Joker. This was a girl who looked like one strong look would have her cowering beneath him, especially if he actually had the physique he saw in the now-broken mirror.Â
âWho are you,â he repeated his question from earlier, turning back to look at her.Â
âY/n,â the girl reiterated, head tilting slightly.Â
âNo.â Jason shook his head. âWho are you. Who do you work for?â
Y/nâs brows scrunched together in confusion and she said, âwell, my boss is named Marlene, if thatâs what youâre asking. But I donât see how thatâs particularly relevant.â
Jasonâs chest rose and fell and he brought his hand up to claw at it. âLiar,â he hissed out. âYou⌠you liar!â A yell curled its way up through him and his nails scratched at his throat, trying to tear this unfamiliar voice from him. Who was he? This wasnât Jason Todd, the broken boy from Crime Alley. This was someone much more dangerous and unpredictable. Batman had always taught Jason how to analyse plans and choose the one with the highest success rate. But this was a different Jason. This Jason was a tornado, sweeping through every emotion he didnât know how to handle.Â
He saw green. And that only reminded him of the years spent under the Asylum.
Jason tore the sheets from the bed. He shoved things off the bedside table and consequently the lamp fell, its bulb shattering and then flickering out. The room was plunged into darkness. The only source of light was from the barely rising sun, peeking its rays into the window and bathing the edges of the room with pink and orange and yellow.Â
The light danced across Y/nâs face as she stared around at the damage Jason was inflicting. Pity and guilt ran rampant on her face and she didnât stop him.
Jason moved throughout the room, the only things he spared being the dresser and the bookshelf.Â
After some time, he collapsed onto the floor, heaving in breaths. It wasn't long before he slowly leaned back to lay down. Y/n carefully sat down next to him, staying a good couple feet away. "I know you don't trust me," she said. She slipped her sleeve down her wrist, tucking in her hands. The outline of a watch pressed against the fabric and Jason stared at it numbly and unthinking. "But my name is Y/n. I work at the Gotham Gazette. My boss's name is Marlene. She's pretty nice and I'm up for a raise soon. I've lived in Gotham my whole life, even while my brother moved away the first chance he got. I've contemplated leaving for a long time, but I could never bring myself to do it." She pointed to a picture that sat on her dresser â one of the only things Jason hadn't destroyed. "That's him. My brother."
Jason didn't move his head to look. His green vision began to fade.Â
âWhen I was growing up I had a fish. His name was Captain Sparkles,â Y/n kept on talking. âHe was pretty cool and lived a long time for a fish. Two years, if youâre interested. Iâm going to Gotham University and studying English so I can hopefully move up the line of command at the Gazette. My parents are chill and are empty nesters with two dogs out in the countryside. My dad always pledged never to get a dog, but now Iâm pretty sure theyâre ahead of me in the will.â She chuckled and tugged at her hair.Â
Jason turned on his side away from her and he missed her eyes trailing after him sadly. Y/n swallowed and blinked away the sting of impending tears.Â
âI have a little routine going,â Y/n continues, her voice cracking slightly. âYou know, wake up, go to class â Iâm a sophomore â come home and do homework. When I donât have class, I go to work.â The girl wraps her arms around her knees and tucks her chin in. âWhat Iâm trying to get at, I guess, is that I donât work for the Joker.â
Jason flinched and cradled his head in his hands. Everything Y/n was telling him seemed true; she didnât seem like an agent of the Joker, but his mind screamed at him to not trust anybody. Each syllable she spoke seemed like a reminder of how normal he was supposed to be. Day in and day out, when the Joker was pushing Jasonâs limits, pulling him to the brink of death, Jason had wished to be normal. To not have met Batman that fateful day. To not have accepted the Robin pedestal. To go to high school and college and live in a dorm and get drunk and then regret it the next day.Â
What he would give to be normal.Â
âIâm sorry,â Y/n muttered. âI didn't mean to say his name. I know it must be triggering.â She exhaled and was silent for a moment. âIâll go,â she eventually whispered. âIf you need anything, let me know.â
Jason heard her stand and move to the door. No! Please donât go. I- I canât be alone. I donât know how to be alone. But the words didnât come.Â
The door clicked shut behind Y/n. Tears made their way down Jasonâs face and his body shook with the effort to keep silent.Â
I would rather you torture me than make me be alone, he thought. My thoughts are more dangerous than any weapon.
~~~~
For all of Jasonâs life, soulmates had always been in his realm of knowledge. Like bombs. He had heard the word in the news, playing with whatever he had scavenged off the street, his mom smoking on the couch behind him, TV blaring.Â
But children are oblivious and it wasnât until later in his life that he figured out what the words meant. âBombsâ became synonymous with Gotham City and âsoulmateâ became a word Jason held close to his heart.Â
Everyone had a soulmate and it was common for the kids on the playground to compare their numbers ticking down. Younger children, who had yet to get their timer, gazed wistfully at older kidsâ watches. Rumours of someoneâs timer speeding up or slowing down blistered around the jungle gym and it chilled young Jasonâs blood with the thought of not getting to meet his soulmate soon enough.Â
But besides those insignificant bouts of worry, Jason was very proud of his soulmate. He would be running around the playground and when he heard someone bragging about how soon they would meet their soulmate, Jason would stop the game of tag and go over to compare numbers.Â
Not everyone was as lucky as him, however. Some kids would be teased because their timer estimated that they wouldnât meet the love of their life until they were on the brink of death. While Jason never stood up for the victim, he would never be the one to bully them. His own mom had smashed her timer when she met Jasonâs deadbeat dad, wanting to defy the universe and choose her own lover. It had only led to jail time, alcohol, and negligence. Sometimes, late at night, Jason would wonder what happened to his momâs true soulmate. Were they still out there with a paused timer, wondering who didnât think them good enough? Did they also think they could find answers at the bottom of a bottle or did they pick themselves up and reroute their life?
What wouldâve his life been like if he had two parents who loved each other and were destined to be together?Â
But whenever Jason was feeling down, or he got a bad grade (which didnât happen often), or he was beaten up in the alleyways of Gotham, or his mom smashed a bottle by his head and screamed at him, he would cast his eyes down to his soulmate timer and just remember that someone out there was for him. That someone was fated to love him. And very early on, from the moment he realised what having a soulmate actually meant, Jason decided that he would wait for however long it took and go through whatever it meant to find them.Â
âWhose clothes are these?â Jason whispered, his voice cracked and desolate the next time Y/n came into the room to offer him the little food he could stomach.Â
âMy brotherâs,â she answered easily, setting down the plate of toast and some other easy food. âI thought they would be a bit big on you, but then the Lazarus Pit made you ginormous, so theyâre a bit tight now. Sorry.â
âLazarus Pit?â Jason pushed himself to sit up, muscles groaning in protest.Â
âI donât know how much you remember,â Y/n admitted. âBut once I got you out of Arkham, I brought you to my friend Talia. She has some⌠powerful connections to some influential people and was able to help heal you in the Lazarus Pit. I just didnât know how much it would alter you.â
âThat explains a lot,â Jason admitted dryly, thinking of his new physique, emotions, and tinted vision when he had gotten mad.Â
Y/n leaned against her dresser. âI didnât know what else to do. Iâm sorry if you didnât want me to help, but I needed to. You were going to die and I needâŚâ she trailed off and her eyes flicked down to her wrist.
âYou need what?âÂ
âI couldnât let someone die,â Y/n finally decided on.Â
Jason accepted her answer. He felt a small tug at his chest, almost as if something wasnât right and he wanted to correct it. âWhatâsâŚâ His eyes trailed to her lap where she held her hands. His jaw twitched and he shook his head. âNever mind.âÂ
âYou can ask me anything,â Y/n offered, a smile lifting the corner of her mouth. Jasonâs eyes widened when he saw her smile and his heart fluttered. Jason decided that, even if he didnât trust Y/n yet, he would do whatever it took to keep that smile on her face.Â
âNo, I have nothingâ Iâm goodâ noââÂ
âSpit it out, Robby. What do you want to tell your darling Joker? What are your⌠worries? Your concerns? Your dear Uncle Ace?â The Joker circled around an exhausted Jason. âTrust me. You can tell me anythingâŚâ His speech was slow and intoxicating. Alluring, was the word Jason would use to describe it. It was tugging him in. Jasonâs eyes slipped down into sleep just as another needle pierced its way into his skin, courtesy of the Joker.Â
Jason dug his nails into the palm of his hand over and over, fingers twitching over his cuticles. His face started to heat up and he swallowed roughly, blinking slowly. âIâm okay,â he mumbled out, even though Y/n didnât ask.Â
âDo you need me to leave?â she offered.Â
Jason dragged his head back and forth, attempting to shake it. Eventually, it lolled back and banged against the wall. âSorry, what?â
Y/n stood up on instinct. âRobin?âÂ
The title sent lightening up Jasonâs spine and his gaze snapped up to stare at her, fuming. âDonât- donât call me that!â he screamed out. âIâm not! Stop it!â
Dearest Robin. How Batman will miss his little protĂŠgĂŠ.Â
RobbyâŚÂ
RobbyâŚÂ
Robin!
âLet me go!â Jason shrieked. He wiped his hands on his shirt before reaching up and pulling at his hair. Everything felt wrong. âWhy wonât you let me go?! Just give up,â he pleaded desperately. His eyes, wide and frantic, swept around the room until they settled on the shards of the mirror he had smashed.
His body was a graveyard.
It was only then that Jason truly comprehended how imperfect he was.Â
Scars trailed down his arms and legs and he could even see a smattering of them peeking out of the collar of his shirt. Each scar and bruise was a reminder of each thing the Joker had done to him.Â
Each scar is an adventure, Batmanâs voice resonated in his head. An image of Batman patching up young Robinâs bloody nose flicked through Jasonâs mind.
Each scar is a reminder you were never there for me, Jason thought bitterly. Each scar is a reminder that Iâll never be free of him. Iâll always be tied to the Joker. And thatâs what terrifies me the most. Thatâs what makes me hate you, Batman.Â
âOkay, okay,â Y/n surrendered, holding her hands up. âIâll leave. But I canât let you go. Itâs not safe yet.â
It was then that Jason drove his fist into the wall. Y/n made a little squeak of surprise and seemed to flinch.Â
She quickly left and Jason didnât have time to feel bad before he crumpled onto the bed in exhaustion, bits of plaster now on the floor and sheets.
~~~~
Time after time again, the Joker visited him. The Clown Prince of Crime had grown bored with the relentless torture. There had been new tactics â he had to keep it interesting, of course â but even waterboarding hadnât quelled the ache that the Joker felt after the boy had grown used to the whipping of chains against his skin, leaving the boy bruised and internally bleeding.
So it was time to pull out all the stops. The Joker strolled into the makeshift dungeon. Robin didnât even look up at this point. âYou look grim,â the Joker stated, pouting theatrically, even though his audience was a despairing one. He strolled over to the table where he kept all his instruments. âWhich one, which one?â the Joker sang, running his fingers over the knives, corkscrews, ropes, and other devices to land on a pitcher of water.Â
Jason inhaled and exhaled slowly. The Joker poured a generous amount of water into a glass before lifting it to Jasonâs lips and tilting it back. âThere you goâŚâ the Joker cooed, caressing Jasonâs cheek. âDrink it all up like a good little boy.â
Jasonâs chapped lips searched hungrily for the water, not caring what the Jokerâs motive was. He was too thirsty to wonder.
It was only the first in a long line of drugs.Â
âI donât know what to do, Talia,â a lilting, frustrated voice came from the other room, stirring Jason awake. He was sure that whenever he heard Y/nâs voice, he would snap to attention, ready to throw himself to his knees and execute whatever she commanded.Â
Woah. Where did that dedication come from?Â
Even when Jason assumed the title of Robin, there was never such blind complaisantness to what Batman ordered. He would always have some street-kid spunk in him.
So why was he feeling so utterly protective over Y/n? It had to be the fact that she saved him from the hellhole the Joker had carefully curated and manipulated. Didnât it?
Or was it something else?
âNo, Iâve been trying to do all my work online, and itâs been working, but I can only go so long before I have to go into the office or go to lectures.â Y/n listened to her friend for a long minute on the phone and Jason strained to hear them. âNo, but I feel responsible â thatâs the wrong word â but protective of him.â There was a pattering of feet as if Y/n was pacing. âThis is kinda a big deal. There are movies and books written about this connection and yet, mine is huddled in my room, sleeping off drugs and the evidence of torture!â Her voice cracked up at the end and Jason physically stood up.Â
Bile rose up in his throat and Jasonâs knees slammed to the ground, pain shooting up his bones and reverberating in his muscles. He cursed under his breath and pressed his head to the cool hardwood, trying to overcome his nausea.
Stars swirled in his vision and laughs echoed in his head. Jason mumbled words of encouragement to himself, but they were distorted and ugly. Like the Joker. Oh, how Jason dreaded the thought of becoming him. His forearms hit the floor and instead of the Jokerâs words stabbing at his brain, it was a static frame of white noise, blocking out everything. Vision was the first thing to go, eyes squeezing out the late afternoon light. The second thing to leave Jason, as everything does, was time. Was it minutes or hours he sat on the floor before the door burst open?Â
Words were muted and Jason nodded when Y/n asked if she could touch him. Warm palms encased his jawline, thumbs brushing along his cheeks. âHeâs not here,â Y/n whispered. âIâm here. Robi- no, tell me your name. Please.â
âJason. My name is Jason.â Somehow, Y/n had eroded away his concern and distrust, replacing it with ease and invulnerability. He would never have thought it possible in such a short time, even without his history with the Joker.Â
Y/n exhaled a small laugh and a bright smile came to her face. Jason looked up at her, brain still buzzing. âWhat? Whatâs funny about that?â he managed to get out.Â
âOh, no no no,â Y/n was quick to reassure him. âI didnât mean to laugh. That was rude of me. Iâm sorry.â One of her hands guided down to rest on his back, rubbing soft circles. In his anxious stupor, Jason curled up in front of her, instinctively resting his head on her lap. If he could see her face, he wouldâve seen Y/nâs eyebrows shoot up with hopefulness. However, he definitely heard her intake of breath. âItâs a very nice name.â
âHow- how does your boyfriend feel about me staying here?â Jason finally asked after a minute of him slowing his breathing.Â
âI donât have a boyfriend,â Y/n said, sounding amused.Â
âBut you have a soulmate timer,â Jason pointed out.Â
Y/n tilted her head, curiously. She didnât think he had noticed that. One of her hands moved to Jasonâs hair, gently brushing it back from his forehead. She ran her fingers through the white stripe which she had come to find very attractive. Tension left the boyâs shoulders and he tucked his head into her lap. âEveryone does,â Y/n replied. âIt doesnât mean Iâve found my soulmate yet.â
âHave you?â
âYesâŚâ
âOh.â
Jason laid in her lap for a long minute and eventually asked her, âis he nice to you?â
Y/n laughed lightly, sighing a bit before saying, âheâs still getting to know me. Heâs a very reserved and tentative person and we only met a little while ago. However, heâs been opening up pretty quickly and Iâm very proud of him.â Her fingers tapped against Jasonâs hair, curling the strands around her fingers before lightly scratching at his scalp with her nails. She noticed how his Adamâs apple bobbed up and down when she did that. Tucking that information away for later, Y/n added, âheâs gone through a lot in the past and I just want to make him feel safe.âÂ
Deep in his bones, Jason could almost feel her sadness and dedication. He wasnât sure what magic had given him the power to be so in tune with this girl, but he wasnât going to let anyone take it away from him. Not even her soulmate.Â
Turning the conversation away from something that would surely wound him if he pried any deeper, Jason declared quietly, âIâm going to install some deadbolts and locks on your front door and windows soon.â
âPardon?âÂ
âItâs not safe for you to help me.â It never is for anyone. Iâm a poison, infecting everyone I touch. âI want to make sure youâre safe before I leave.â
âLeave?â Y/n exclaimed, staring down at him. âNo, youâre not ready to go yet.â A part of her was worried she was being selfish, wanting her soulmate as close to her as possible, but one look at the bandages she had just replaced the night before said otherwise. There was less blood than there had been days prior, but Jason was not in any condition to leave bed, much less leave the apartment.Â
âYou canât keep housing me forever, Y/n,â Jason muttered. âAnd Iâll be damned if Iâm the reason you get hurt.â His head was still in her lap, but he couldnât meet her eye. It was imperative that he play with the seams in his shirt.Â
Otherwise she might see him beginning to cry.
âPlease leave,â he begged, voice breaking pitifully. Y/n couldnât bring herself to argue, gently slipping out from her place underneath Jason and resting his head softly on the ground before closing the door behind her.Â
The nightmares were worse that night.
~~~~
True to his word, Jason ventured out into the apartment the next day like a zoo animal inspecting its new habitat. He crouched his shoulders, bowing his head in an attempt to diminish his size. He still wasnât used to being so large and accidentally bumped into the kitchen counter and a lamp.Â
He was able to install the majority of the new locks and deadbolts until he slid the deadbolt of the front door closed. It whined and creaked beneath his fingers and his mind flashed back to when
Jason awoke slowly. A small groan left his lips, but he stayed still. It was a tactic he learned from Bruce â never let anyone know you were awake. He could categorise helpful information for later, such as possible escape routes, and it was quite possible that he was one movement away from death. He had to be careful.Â
But this wasnât Africa. This wasnât where Jason was desperately searching for his mother when Batman ran into the warehouse, seconds before the Joker let loose a bomb.Â
Thatâs all Jason could remember.Â
Blood was sticking his hair to his head and Jason clutched his side. It ached from bruised or broken ribs that pressed to his skin. However long he had been unconscious, it had been quite a while. His body was already malnourished and crying out for medical care.Â
Jason attempted to crawl to a standing position, but when his ankles and wrists caught against metal, restraining him, he knew something else was at play.Â
The whine and creak of a deadbolt unlocking caused him to turn his head towards a door he hadnât noticed. A man in a pinstripe suit stepped through, a long crowbar in hand. Jason didnât need the upturned red lips to know who was there.Â
âOh, donât worry, Robby,â the Joker coaxed as Jason stared up at him, pure terror gripping his veins. He had never been so close to the Joker without Bruce. Where was Bruce? Why wasnât he here? The Joker squatted down to Jasonâs level, running a gloved hand over the boyâs bloody hair. Jason flinched away, but it didnât deter the Joker. âYou and your Uncle Ace are going to have some real fun.âÂ
âWhere is he?â Jason sobbed, scared when he didnât feel the blood on his hair. Why wasnât he bleeding? What was the Jokerâs new game?
âWhere is who?â An unfamiliar voice asked despairingly.Â
âBruâ Batman,â Jason corrected himself in his stupor. âB-Batman.â
Y/n stuttered, âI donât know Batman. Iâm sorry.â
Jason groaned in pain before a hysterical laugh bubbled from him. He clutched his stomach, on all fours, eyes wide and clouding over with green. Must he always be connected to the Joker? If he could eradicate that damn colour, he would. His fingers ghosted over the place that the Joker threatened to brand him.Â
âMaybe Iâll make it permanent on our five year anniversary,â the Joker hummed, knife gently poking into Jasonâs cheek. The faded scar of last monthâs âJâ was what prompted the Joker to re-carve it into the boy. Blood dribbled down Jasonâs cheek, joining his salty tears. It didnât hurt, the wound being surface level, but just the thought of more things tied to the Joker made him gasp for air, crying softly.Â
âSo youâll always be reminded of who was the one to beat you. The Clown Prince of Crime!â
Y/n had barely noticed the âJâ until Jason dug his nail into his cheek, tracing the scar. The path was imprinted into his memory.Â
The skin turned red at the irritation and Y/n caught Jasonâs wrist the next time he moved up to trace it again. âStop. Youâre hurting yourself.â
Jason muttered things under his breath at her, but he didnât pull away from her hold. âHe branded me,â he finally spit out. âAnd itâs only because you found me that he didnât carve it into my skull,â he said sarcastically, malice in his voice. His eyes blazed a fervent green and he shook his head. âBut at least I knew what was coming. At least I knew that a month had passed when he redrew his initials.â
Y/n opened her mouth to argue, but Jason spoke before she could. âI⌠Iâm worried,â he began slowly. âIâm becoming more of the Joker than I am Batman. I was supposed to look up to Batman, but what if he and the Joker are one and the same? Both hurt me. One abandoned me and the other took that for granted.â
âHe didnât mean to abandon you, Iâm sure,â Y/n whispered. âNo one would ever willingly abandon you.â
Jason grumbled out, groaning at her words. His lips twitched downwards and his biceps flexed. âNo one? Everyone did!â he screamed out. âMy parents, Batman, Alfred, Dick! Everyone abandoned me!â
Y/n ignored the last name Jason listed off, before murmuring, âI havenât.â
âNot yet,â Jason whispered after a moment. âBut you will.â
~~~~
A couple days later, Jason peeked out of Y/nâs room, one of her blankets in hand. âYou deserve your room,â Jason mumbled when Y/n looked up from her book, astonished.Â
âIâ Jason, you need the most comfort,â Y/n said, gently closing her book. âIâm fine on the couch.â
âYou need to get back to work soon,â he said, hugging the blanket close. âYou said it yourself. I canât be the reason that youâre putting your life on hold. You- you need to get back to normal.â
âYou are my norââ Y/n cut herself off before exhaling slowly. âDonât worry about me,â she began. âIâve slept on the couch many nights when I had papers to complete or binge-watched too many episodes of The Good Place.âÂ
Jasonâs features softened slightly and he took a step forward. Y/n took the hint and scooted over on the couch, placing her book on the small coffee table she had. âWhatâre you reading?â he asked as Y/n turned on the television, opening up to the first episode of The Good Place.Â
âThe Great Gatsby, for one of my English classes,â Y/n said.Â
âReally?â A smile slowly grew on Jasonâs lips, something he hadnât experienced in years. His muscles ached a bit from the disuse, but Jason was now addicted to the feeling.Â
Y/n decided that she was now also addicted to the sight of Jason smiling. âYeah. Weâre covering the symbolism of water that spans throughout the book. In fact, in the first couple of pages, Fitzgerald references the White Star Line, which is a boat that sank on the same route as the Titanic. Gatsby, obviously, dies in the water, sinking, just as those boats did. Fitzgerald really is an excellent writer.â
Jason was pretty sure he was in love. Or maybe he still was on drugs. Whatever the feeling, it was nice and unexpected and new.Â
âI do think youâll like The Good Place,â Y/n continued. âI wonât spoil anything, but it has some pretty amazing underlying themes.â
âIâm sure,â Jason replied quietly, burrowing under the blanket. It didnât quite manage to hide his large frame, but it managed to hide his quickening heart and blush that was slowly spreading.Â
Just before the first episode started, Y/n quickly hurried to make some popcorn. She plunked the bowl in between the pair and then snatched some blanket away from Jason. âYou run hot,â she explained when Jason shot her a bemused look.Â
The Good Place was a wonderful show, as Jason soon learned, but what was more wonderful was when Y/nâs cheek pressed against his shoulder and her knees curled up and her eyes fluttered closed. When her breath slowed with sleep, subconsciously trusting him enough to be at her most vulnerable, that, Jason found out, was what was truly wonderful.
Bruce Wayne had never before seen a street rat more excited to see Batman, especially when that street kid was trying to steal from him.Â
But what was particularly amusing was that the boy wasnât particularly excited to see him, but more excited to show Batman his soulmate timer.Â
âNo! No, you donât understand!â the boy cried ecstatically. âIt just fast-forwarded! Meeting you means I get to meet my soulmate sooner!â He bounced on the balls of his feet, eagerly shoving his wrist towards Batmanâs cowl, showing the vigilante his timer.Â
âYes, very⌠exciting,â Bruce hummed out, not sure whether to laugh or reprimanded him for trying to steal the Batmobileâs tires.Â
The boy laughed, a big grin covering his small features. âI wonder what theyâre like. Have you met yours yet, Batman?â
Bruce raised his eyebrows and a chuckle slipped through. âYes, I have. Itâs a wonderful thing.âÂ
As the child kept rambling about his soulmate, Bruce knew that he had just found the next Robin.Â
~~~~
Y/n sat on the kitchen counter, legs crossed. She had a textbook in her lap and was mumbling out phrases for memorisation of an upcoming exam. A small smile couldnât help but expand on Jasonâs face as he listened to her mumbles. He paused from his work in the small kitchen, back muscles rippling as he reached for the marinara sauce. When he went to dump the pasta into the strainer, the pot clanged against the metal faucet.Â
The Joker rattled his crowbar against Jasonâs chains.
âJay?â Y/n said softly, guiding him out of his memories before he could get too lost. âYou can stop straining the pasta. All the waterâs gone.âÂ
âWhat?â he choked out, turning his head so he could see her.
âThe pasta.â Y/n shifted forward so her legs hung over the edge of the counter. âItâs okay. Itâs been okay and it will continue to be okay. You- you can let go.â The euphemism wasnât lost on Jason.
He let the pasta pan drop in the sink and faced Y/n, eyes shining with unshed tears. âNo. Thatâs not what I meant.â Swallowing down the feeling, Jason continued, âwhat did you call me?â
âJay,â Y/n whispered.Â
The Joker paced around Jason after a few days without any torture. âItâs been too long, Robin,â he said, shaking his head. âI think itâs time to make you sing for your Uncle Jay.â
âIs that okay?â Y/n asked softly.Â
Bruce shouted from the other room, âJay! Come on! The galaâs starting soon.â
âJason,â Y/n repeated. She reached out and touched his shoulder and the boy came to stand between her legs. Jason dropped his head on her shoulder, beginning to sob quietly. Immediately, Y/n brought her hand up to rest on his head and the other arm to curl around his back. âDonât you dare,â she shook her head as Jason began mumbling his apologies. âItâs okay. Iâm here.âÂ
And suddenly, everything was okay. Because Y/n was there. âBruce called me Jay,â he murmured out. âAn- and then he called himself Mr. Jay.â
âIâm sorry, I didnât mean to trigger-â
âNo, itâs okay,â Jason looked at her, eyes shining with tears. âI like it when you do it. When you call me that.â
âYou do?â Y/n asked, hands on either side of his face, cupping them closer and when her hands trailed to hold his neck and then one brushed back his hair oh this must be heaven, Jason thought, eyes fluttering shut. What he would give to live within her arms, always feeling safe and always feeling loved. She had that strange power over him and while Jason usually didnât like people having power over him, he decided that when it came to Y/n, he didnât mind. Not at all.
âYeah,â he whispered, his voice lilting up with an infliction of infectious love.Â
Jason stood there, comfortable in her arms and secretly hoping that Y/n would never have to go to work and would always just stay here. Where he could just keep⌠holding her and touching her and making sure she was safe because if Y/n wasnât safe, Jason was pretty sure he would go on a rampage. If Y/n wasnât safe, if Jason wasnât holding her, then it was only because the Joker had found him and ripped him away from the only thing he had ever loved.Â
And that wouldâve been the cruellest method of torture.Â
No amount of chains would hold him back. No amount of drugs would make him forget Y/n. And no amount of hate would make him forget the amount of love he felt when Y/n held him close and he could hear her heart beating steadily. In that moment, Jason could pretend her heart beat for him.Â
He knew his heart beat for her. Then his mind flashed back to it all.
The boyâs muscles tensed, protesting against the Joker for the first time in weeks. He had been trying to keep the watch hidden for as long as possible, but he shouldâve known it was futile.
Jasonâs cracked lips parted and he forced a ânoâ from his parched throat. âDonât.â
âStop it.â Jason wiggled away from the Jokerâs searing grip but nothing helped.
Jason let out a guttural scream as the Joker ground the glass into the dirt with his heel.Â
âOh, picky picky picky,â the Joker teased. âSensitive, are we?â
âLemme go! Donât touch her! Donât you dare!â His voice cracked and blood began to trickle down his arms as the chains rubbed against his irritated skin and broke the surface. But he would take the pain a thousand times over if it meant he could get to his watch.Â
His soulmate. His love. It was all gone.
âYes!â the Joker cried out, exclaiming loudly. His hands began to shake and a large grin spread on his maniacal face. âYes! Emotion, Robby! This is what I want! Give me the fucking emotion! If I had known, I wouldâve smashed that watch a long time ago.â
Jason lunges towards the Joker, face contorted with rage. âDonât you fucking dare! Get- stay- no! No!âÂ
It was the most he had ever fought against the Joker. And the Joker adored it.
âYou⌠youâre myâŚâ Jason choked out, jaw tensing slightly as the dots began to connect.
He didnât know when Y/n had begun to cry, but as tears streamed down her face and she nodded desperately, things seemed to all click into place. âIt took you long enough,â she joked pathetically.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â Jason breathed out, his hands tightening on her thigh, a protective instinct washing over him. âOh, no, no, no,â he shook his head and brought her head in his hands, brushing away the tears. âI didnât mean- Iâm sorryâŚâ
âNo, itâs not that,â Y/nâs voice cracked. âIâm not unhappy, not in the slightestââ Jason was so sure of their bond that it hadnât even crossed his mind that she might reject him or not love him due to his past. ââbut I just never thought that you would- that I would-â She hiccuped and Jasonâs eyes darted across her face, wanting to somehow help, but so unsure of himself.
Slowly, Jason sank to his knees. Y/n still sat above him, on the counter, staring down, baffled. Her eyes were red from crying and her lips were parted, but she had never seemed more beautiful. âWhat- what are you doing?â she murmured.Â
âIâm showing you how much you affect me,â he answered simply. âQuite literally, you saved my life, Y/n. And if thatâs the only way you touched my life, I would consider myself the luckiest man on Earth. If no one has told you those words before, then everyone else is a fool. If you allow me to stay around and cherish the best thing thatâs ever happened to me, gladly, I will.â Y/n slowly slipped off the counter, standing before him. âBut thatâs a lot of âifsâ. And Iâm not willing to potentially lose you over some âifsâ. I know Iâve made you uncertain and Iâve wrecked your apartment and Iâm so sorry,â he chuckled dryly. Jasonâs hands were shaking as he slowly slid them up Y/nâs legs. She shivered under his touch, backing up until she hit the counter behind her. Jason lifted his hands from her, giving her a moment if she needed, but one look in her eyes led his hands right back to her body. âYouâre like a drug,â he whispered, pressing his face to the side of her thigh.Â
âDrugs are very very bad,â Y/n managed to get out.Â
âI know.â A small smirk appeared on his lips. His lips suddenly looked very kissable. âThe Joker taught me that. If I could go back and kill him, Iâd do it in an instant, but⌠Iâd also thank him. And Iâd thank Batman. And Nightwing. And my mom. And everyone else in my life because they all led me to you.â Y/nâs knees buckled and Jason helped ease her down so she was sitting in front of him. He choked on his tears slightly before saying, âso many people believe in equality in the universe. So if all of that is true, then perhaps every bad thing that ever happened to me was just leading up to you. You⌠are so good that the universe needed to even it all out.â
Y/n began shaking her head vehemently. âThen let me damn the universe,â she whispered. âBecause clearly, itâs been unfair. You were gifted to me, Jason. Itâs not fair that you went through so much shit while I lived a fairly light life.â
âMaybe Iâm not good enoughâŚâ
âDonât you dare suggest that,â Y/n cut him off sharply.Â
âThen perhaps I took the hardship you were supposed to endure,â Jason offered the explanation. Before Y/n could argue, Jason said, âand Iâd do it again.â
Y/n laughed lightly, drying her eyes with the heel of her palm. âI donât want you to go through that again.â
âThen itâs a good thing I donât need to,â Jason muttered, leaning forward slightly to nuzzle into Y/nâs neck. He slowly, as if testing the water, pressed a kiss to her skin. Feeling her inhale, Jason grinned and repeated the gesture, wondering if he would get the same reaction. He did. After a moment, he exhaled, his breath tickling Y/n. âIâm going to need time,â he muttered. âIâm not going to be the perfect soulmate you deserve right away.â
âI donât expect you to be. Youâre already perfect to me.â
âIâll work on it,â Jason compromised. âI want to deserve you.â
âYou doââ
âY/n,â he pleaded desperately. âLet me do this for you. Let me be the best Jason Todd for you.â
Seeing that he wasnât going to back down, Y/n nodded after a minute. âOkay,â she said. âWeâll get through it all together.â
âMaybe we should seal the deal with a kiss.â
A bubbling laugh filled Jasonâs ears and he couldnât help the large grin that came over him. âHmm,â Y/n conceded. âAlright.â
And so they did.
âMom, whyâre we here?â A small hand gripped onto her motherâs.Â
âI signed us up for a soup kitchen,â her mom explained. âItâs coming to the holidays and we should be doing something good for others. Gotham isnât always the nicest place to live and weâre fortunate enough that we can help when needed.â
âHmm,â the girl conceded. âAlright.â She puzzled a bit over the thought that some people werenât as fortunate as they were, before asking slowly, âdo we need to help them any more than usual?â
âWhat do you mean, Y/n?â the mom asked, checking the street names as they passed. The girl frowned, her hair in small pigtails. âWell⌠Should we have brought clothes? Or blankets? How⌠How much do they need help?â She struggled to find the right words.
âNo, theyâre not homeless,â her mom said. âThey just need a bit of help bringing food into the family, you know?â
âOkay,â Y/n accepted the answer easily.Â
âJust, hold my hand, will you?â the mom said, even though her daughter was already clutching her hand. âThis isnât the safest part of town, though nothing bad will happen. The sun is out, so thereâs nothing to be worried about.âÂ
Out of nowhere, a small boy barrelled out of an alleyway, shouting at some other boys that were running behind him. He crashed into Y/n, whoâs mom scooped her up on instinct. âOh, Iâm sorry!â the boy cried out, head whipping from the two females back to the people chasing him. The boys behind him carefully came to a slow once they saw an adult with her daughter. âUh, where are you two ladies going?â The boy asked, eyes darting back and forth between the groups. Ultimately, he decided that a stranger was more safe than those kids, simply because she was a mom.
âTo the food kitchen,â Y/n supplied before her mom could shush her.Â
âI can show you the way!â The boy jumped at the opportunity, beginning to walk backwards away from the group of bigger boys. Y/nâs mom looked between the malnourished boy who was silently begging with his eyes to the group who had a smearing of blood on their knuckles.
âOkayâŚâ she decided. âShow us the way.â
The young boy jumped up and began striding away, beaming with the safety of an adult. Y/nâs mom set her down carefully, gripping her hand tighter than before. âStay close by,â she demanded. Y/n nodded.Â
The boy had dark hair that was cropped slightly at the sides with a tuft of it that fell over his eyes. His eyes were blue and he wore a red hoodie that fell just a bit too long over his jeans. âWow,â he chirped as the trio got farther away from the alleyway. âThanks. Letâs just say Iâm not exactly on those guyâs good sides.â He kept rambling, Y/nâs mom shooting him cautious looks every once in a while, but he didnât seem to notice. âWhatâs your name?â he asked Y/n, skipping over to walk by her side.
âY/n,â the girl replied. âY/n L/n.â
âThatâs a nice name,â the boy grinned. âHow old are you?â
âIâm five.â
âIâm seven!â The boy placed a haughty hand to his chest. âBut my birthdayâs tomorrow.â
Y/nâs mom hummed. âOh. Are you excited to get your soulmate timer?â
âYeah!â The boy beamed up at the woman, turning a corner. âSuper excited. But this is the soup kitchen. You know, my mom should be stopping by soon. But thanks!â He began jogging off, waving goodbye.Â
âWait! Whatâs your name?â Y/n called after him.Â
âJason! Jason Todd.â
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your most recent jason fic has me in a bit of a chokehold and its bc you do so well with the dialogue and the banter!!
HONEYLOVE???#?*Ă& i need to be physically restrained (i appreciate your fics respectfully)
anyways, the fic has me thinking: imagine it's the same reader, but they know Jason's alive and they're back to being friends again (skipping over the drama of "YOU'RE ALIVE?!?" "yea lmao sorry ily tho") but there's this tension now. and since Jason's not working with a mask anymore (and he's slightly more vulnerable with r), it's him who gets flustered and it's r who does the flirting playful banter. maybe it ends with a kiss (Ë ÂłË) ?
i'm such a sucker for a flustered Jason and there's something that tells me he gets really weak in the knees for someone he adores >:) anyways, you can always choose to write this or not but a very big, fat thank you if you do
the reaction pics are SO FUNNY i'm glad you enjoy this au <3
jason todd x gn!nocturne!reader. pt 3 of vigilante reader. this is basically reader just being feral over jason :> they speak for all of us, really. love confessions, tension, somewhat flustered jason, more sparring lols.
pt 1 / pt 2
****
Jason Todd is alive. Jason Todd is sitting two feet away, talking about a case.
You can't quite believe it. You went home two days ago and expected to wake up to the whole thing being a dream or the result of a Poison Ivy hallucinogen.
You can't stop staring at him. It's weird. You're being weird. But you can't help it.
Every time you see Jason, you want to look at him for as long as possible. You don't want to forget his face. This new face. Scarred and hardened, but still good. Still loved.
And, well. It's not like Jason's bad looking. Sure, you thought he was cute when you were teenagers. Resurrection makes the heart grow fonder, et cetera.
But now? Now, Jason makes your heart stupid. You can barely contain your desire. It's been two weeks since he revealed himself, and every time you see him, you have to dig your nails into your palms to keep yourself from showing him what he does to you.
Sometimes you think he sees right through you, but if he does, he never acts on it.
"âlistening. Yo. Ground control to Major Tom. Are you with me?"
Jason waves a hand in front of you. You blink.
He's unmasked and in a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt and dark jeansâthe most comfortable you've seen him, actually. His hair is still wet from his shower.
"Sorry," you say, suddenly zeroed in on the three droplets of water sliding down his neck. "I'm listening. Just looking at you."
"'Cause I'm so pretty?" Jason asks, batting his lashes.
You reach over without thinking. He freezes when you wipe the water off of his neck. Then you tuck a curl behind his ear.
"You should let me blow-dry your hair," you say, taking your time in dropping your hand. "It'll take ages to dry in this humidity."
Jason's eyes have gone wide. Pink splotches bloom on the apples of his cheeks.
"Uh." He swallows. You watch his throat bob. "Thanks. Maybe... next time."
"I'll steal Dick's. He's got the fancy sixteen setting one."
That makes Jason smile. "Hm. Some things never change."
His eyes crinkle at the corners. Fondness swells swiftly in your chest.
You stay like that for a moment, caught in each other's orbit.
Jason breaks it first, leaning away. "Right. You should probably get back to the Manor. Brâthe others'll probably think I kidnapped ya."
You shrug. "I quit."
"What?"
"Bruce was getting on my last nerve. I can't work with someone like that."
Jason snorts. "Join the club. Look, I can't say I'm not thrilled that you're stickin' it to the old man. But if this is 'cause of me... I wouldn't be mad if you kept workin' with him. Honest. If that's what you wanna do, don't let me stop you."
"Jason." You rest your hand atop his. "I joined this life because of you. To honor you. You taught me how to help people, not Bruce. You taught me what it meant to be kind, to be a part of something bigger than myself."
To love, you don't say.
"I..." He shakes his head. "You became Nocturne for me?"
You close your eyes, then open them. You've cried so many times. You don't want to stay in your grief any longer. Not when he's right in front of you.
"When you died, I..." You take a deep breath. "Nocturne was something to ground me. I think Bruce recognized that. I think he knew how much you meant to me. He didn't have to take a chance on me, and I appreciate that he did. But I've realized that he doesn't know everything. Can't see what's right in front of him sometimes."
You squeeze Jason's wrist. He sighs.
"God, I'm sorry," he says.
"What're you sorry for, Jay? You came back. That's all I ever wanted."
Jason chews his cheek for a moment. Then he stands, chair scraping the floor.
"C'mon," he says.
You follow him to the living room. He moves the armchair, the couch, and rolls up the rug. He disappears down the hall and returns with two thick mats. He tosses them onto the floor.
"Uh..." you say. "What're youâ"
"'M gonna show you what y'did wrong that night on the roof."
"Wow. Can't believe you're still single. Being reminded of my shitty combat skills gets me so hot."
Jason rolls his eyes. "Alright, smartass. Just 'cause you quit the Bats doesn't mean you won't go out there and keep helping people. I know you. The least I can do is pick up where Dickface left off in your training."
"The least you can do, huh? I think you just wanna pin me against the floor again," you say, smirking.
He clears his throat. "Thatâno."
"No?" You step closer and look at him through your lashes. You're so close, you're touching his chest. "What happened to tying me up 'cause I was out when I shouldn't have been? Isn't that another educational technique?"
Jason's throat bobs. "That wasn'tâI was just saying things."
"Hm. That's too bad."
You skip right past him, onto the mat, and hold out your arms.
"Okay. Put the moves on me, J.P."
It takes Jason a moment to craft his usual poker face. When he does, he groans. "'M not an evil Gilded Age financier. Still don't like 'J.P.'"
"But you like me-ee," you sing-song.
He shrugs. "Sometimes. Until you give me a heart attack and run into a burning building."
"Wish I could've seen your face for that one," you say as you steel your shoulders and secure your feet.
"Better you didn't. I'm sure there was a vein or two popping outta my forehead." Jason cracks his neck. "Ready?"
"Lay it on me, big guy."
"You first. Attack me like you normally would."
So you do. You step forward and throw a punch similar to the one from your rooftop spar. Jason catches it, of course. But this time, he locks you in a hold. One leg is between yours, and your arms are twisted behind your back with one hand. Humiliating.
"Dude!" You wiggle. Jason doesn't yield. "Jay, come on. No petty criminal is gonna know how to do all that."
"I know. The point of this is for you to know how to use someone's size against them."
Jason presses his cheek against yours. You tamp down your shiver. You can hear his heartbeat.
"Take a breath," he murmurs.
You close your eyes and breathe. Jason's grip doesn't hurt, but you're frustrated by how predictable you are. How he knows your body. A part of you is missing in not knowing him the way he knows you.
"Alright," he says. "Think. What part of me is exposed?"
"Not the important parts, I hope."
You can feel his eyeroll.
"You're hilarious. C'mon, focus. What can you attack?"
"Um... your legs. You trapped my arms, but my and your legs are free."
"Good." The praise warms you. Being this close to Jason will never get old. "What else?"
"What else? Do you have a tail I don't know about?"
"Sucha wiseass," he says, mouth close to your ear. "Your head. You're still able to move your head, and you're close to my face."
"Yeah, I'm not headbutting you. Out of the kindness of my heart."
"I appreciate that, sweets. Sweep my leg."
So you do. Jason goes down easier than he normally would for your benefit.
"'Kay," he says, once again underneath you. Now you have his hands pinned. "Good. Remember what went wrong last time?"
"You bucked me off like a Clydesdale."
He smiles. "Yeah, okay. So what'll you do different?"
"I'm not in my suit," you say. "I don't have extra weight in my boots."
"No, but you don't need it if you keep my legs apart."
"So that was your plan all along, huh? Perv."
Jason coughs. "Ah-hum... Iâc'mon, lock my legs."
You grin and spread Jason's legs, using your knees to keep him immobile.
And then you just stare. This time, it's not because you're thinking about the miracle of resurrection (though what a miracle it is). No, you're just thinking, once again, about how your best friend got really, stupidly pretty.
And how you really, stupidly wanna kiss him.
Jason still looks young, but his jaw is now defined. He's got a five o'clock shadow coming on. His lips are full and pink. Freckles dot his cheeks and nose. The nose that still has a bump from when he broke it during a fight with Riddler.
You remember how he played it off for weeks. Bruce said that didn't even cry. But when you asked if it hurt, Jason had said yes.
You wonder when the last time Jason cried was. You wonder how much pain he's suffered since.
You wonder if he knows he's got your heart in the palm of his hand.
"Hey," Jason says. His voice is soft. Shy. "I lose ya again?"
You shake your head. "No. Never."
"There somethin' on my face?"
"You're a lot to look at," you say. "Pretty, pretty boy."
That gets an undeniable reaction. Jason Todd has never been able to take a compliment. You've been exploiting that all day.
Perhaps you know him better than you thought.
He exhales sharply, like you've sucker-punched him. His eyes dart to you. Waiting.
"Your eyes are green," you say. "Like, mixed. Blue and green."
Jason nods. "Iâyeah. The Pit. Changed 'em. Changed me."
You lean in. His gaze flicks to your mouth. You watch his Adam's apple bob in a hard swallow.
"They're still pretty," you say. "Always had pretty eyes, Jaybird."
"Heh, right. Even with this shit?" He points to the scar that crosses over his right eye, stopping at his lip.
You let go of his wristsânot that you were holding them that tightly anyway. If this were a real fight, you would've lost ten times over already. Considering how much of you is touching Jason, you happen to be winning hard.
You trace the puckered white flesh with your thumb. Jason flinches but doesn't pull away.
"Your face could never turn me away," you say. "Never."
He closes his eyes and shudders. "Y'too nice to me. Always so nice t'me. Even when we were fighting. Why're ya so good?"
Your lips are a hair from his now. "I don't know how to make it more obvious, Jaybird. I'm absolutely insane about you."
Jason's eyes fly open. He sees your mouth and his breathing increases. You smile.
"Yeah, want you bad. No place I wouldn't follow you. Do anything for you."
Jason makes a strangled noise in his throat. You grin.
"C'mon, big guy. I'm right here. Come have me, Jay. I'm yours."
Jason soars up and kisses you. Swallows you, really. His hands hold your waist for dear life. You wrap one leg around his.
You nip his lip. Jason whines softly. Delicious.
You grab his face, fingers tangling in his curls. Jason sits up, slotting you against him. One hand supports you on your back, the other on your side.
"Godâ" He breaks away, just barely. "You're way too good for me. Had sucha... sucha crush on ya when we were kids. Y'so sweet."
You blindly find his throat and bite, hard enough to leave a mark. Jason makes a guh sound. You lick the bite to soothe it.
"Missed you," you say into his skin. "Missed you so goddamn bad, Jason."
"Yeah. Yeah, yeah," he babbles, clinging to you as you kiss up his neck. "Yeah, missed you too."
"Not letting you go," you say, almost snarling. You're angry with want, angry at the world for keeping this from you for so many years. "It's you and me now, Jay, mkay? Gonna be mine?"
"Always been yours," he says, panting. Jason finds your lips again. The kiss is messy, uncoordinated. Full of love. "No one but you."
You haven't fallen behind. You're starting anew.
"Never been anybody but you."
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