laios: kabru is so smart and cool and nice to me :) im so glad we're friends :)

kabru: I need to study him under a microscope I need to squash him like a bug I need to step on him. I need to beat the shit out of him I need him to bleed on me. I need him to shut the fuck up for once in his damn life I need him to explain in detail what exactly is fucking wrong with him I need him to let me sleep in his bed and stare at him all day long. I need to put my hands on him I need to strangle him to death. I need to bite him I need him to bite me. I need

i PERSONALLY would like to FALL IN LOVE please!!!!!! and have the SAME PERSON fall in love with me BACK!!!!!!! could i get some MUTUAL AFFECTION out here!!!!!!!!!

tumblr are you telling me something

He smelled like a cleaned bathroom--vaguely of crushed pine needles and aerosolized lemon-peel, with the subconscious knowledge that it was only a matter of time before the smell of bodies and sweat covered him.

Ever seen someone lipsync an entire song underwater?

Edit: I should have added more context. This is Rose the Mermaid performing at Blue Zoo Aquariums.

The song is from Morgan Clae, who is just as beautifully intense out of the water as Rose is in it. She's performing a part for Epic: The Musical, which is about Odysseus.

Jorge Rivera-Harrans has been crowdsourcing the cast for a while now by asking them to sing along to the backing tracks. Wild way to audition; hundreds of people will see you regardless.

The song involving Athena was also pretty popular a while back, so it's been pretty fun.

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

Chilchuck : DELETE YOUR SEARCH HISTORY NOW!!!

Marcille : they've already printed it there's no use!!

English added by me :)

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

Technophobes need to apologise for "just put it in plain English you stupid machine!" because, well for one the decline in accurate error messages in favour of simplicity has contributed to the rise of tech illiteracy, but also because now whenever an "app" has a net connection error it will pop up a box saying something like "oo ooopsie! Your super duper feed went poo poo. We'll try again soon!" which having said to me by a corporation is about 8 million times worse than having to hear the word "network".

this frame from the fallout tv show is so funny i nearly puked watching it

The older you get the funnier anon hate gets. Like I do not have time for this I have to figure out what a 1099-K form is.

in honor of lesbian week of visibility, and definitely not because of a work related disagreement gone wrong, we're letting roxy loose in the pizzaplex with her go-kart until further notice. y'all about to be very aware.

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.