*lamb about to have its throat slit voice* "he saved me"

Alice Rahon LA SOMBRA CELESTIAL, HOMENAJE A GIORGIO DE CHIRICO/ THE CELESTIAL SHADOW, TRIBUTE TO GIORGIO DE CHIRICO DATE 1946

women- especially women of color- aren't completely and totally pushed aside in fiction for the favor of m/m ships that usually have little to no chemistry. i swear. the reason there's no content for them in fan media is because. uh. (sweating buckets) they're less interesting in canon. unlike the men, who have been projected onto by fans to the point of having whole new personalities. which is different

commissions

would anyoneee be interested if i opened commissions? i seriously need money right now. i can draw any object characters from any object show you want either individually or with others in almost any pose and ship. i can do alternate or personalized designs (ex: a character with headcanoned glasses or an au version) too. poll below examples of my art

i can draw with my smooth brush or my soft brush for equal prices, i can draw a page full of doodles, i can draw something on top of an image if you enjoy that, i can draw a fully rendered character like orange vesper and ava ledger here, i can draw something with a background like taco here, etc.

i can draw lots of different things for varying prices. a drawing like paper in the winter or payjay holding hands here would be like 5$usd to 10$usd depending on detail, fully rendered like ava would be arounddd 15$usd, fully rendered with background and/or extra detail like orange vesper and taco would be 20$usd to 30$usd depending on how complicated the drawing is, and a doodle page would probably be around 15$usd to 20$usd. extra characters on certain drawings would cost a bit more depending on the art.

please feel free to ask me for literally anything as long as it's sfw like you can ask me to draw my least favourite ship kissing at the altar and i will do it i do not mind

Not to be gay but I'd let you preen my wings. As homies, y'know.

if you dont like fat and hairy people i cant help you

I overuse ellipsis so much it's because of my pensive nature...

there should be more fat bitches in yuri. and everywhere else

Isn’t there someone you forgot?

What Native people say about the use of sage: you can use sage, but you cannot smudge as nothing you are doing (waving sage around) is actually smudging. Smudging is a ceremony and you are, we promise, not smudging. Please buy sage from either us, or someone who sources the sage from us. White sage may not be considered endangered by the US government but corperate sourcing is making it difficult for us to source sage for our own religious purposes. Let alone to sell it.

What white people hear: never use sage ever, don’t ever buy it, don’t own it, don’t even look at it.

Look, y’all. There’s a couple of facets to my talk today.

1) Yes! You can buy sage! You really, truly can! Buy it from either native sellers (go to a powwow! Eat our food, buy our stuff, watch some dancing!) Or buy it from a seller who sources the sage from native people. Pick one. And no, buying it from 5 Below doesn’t count.

2) you CANNOT smudge. This isn’t just you “shouldn’t”— this is a YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF SMUDGING. Waving a sage stick around your doorways IS NOT SMUDGING. It is smoke clensing. Smudging, depending on the tradition and tribe, could easily have dancing and drums involved. You, as a white person, do not have the cultural BACKGROUND to even know how it works. At all. Period.

3) please, for FUCKS SAKE, stop making posts here on tumblr where you tell other white people about cultural appropriation and what they can and cannot do. Please stop, your license has been revoked because none of you bother to get the facts right. We native people are FULLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT OURSELVES. Consider instead: a) reblogging our posts where we talk about it! We’re here! We have made posts!! b) Making a post that states what we said and then LINKS BACK TO US. Screenshot with a link if you must. Stop centering your own voices in these conversations. You are already centered in everything, stop centering yourselves in a native space.

I’m tired of this nonsense, y’all.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk ™

big taco analysis ramble i did at like 3 in the morning last night

it's hard to know if Taco cares about Pickle or not because the letters are "instructions" which possibly implies they're cold. reaching for the portal and wanting a second chance could mean she wants to have another chance to win. repeating the same thing she did in s1 with Mic now could mean she just tries to repeatedly manipulate people over and over. it's difficult! because she is so. so. sooooooo closed off. she has lied so many times to so many people including herself to the point she has absolutely no fucking clue who she is other than "bad". she has aspd too so she doesn't feel much remorse. but at the same time she still cares. but!! that goes against her Badness. which she believes in. she "knows" she is bad, she's always believed she's a bad person and that's the only consistent trait she believes in. so she tries to avoid thinking about Pickle.

the closest she's ever gotten to loving herself was around mine your own business. because she started to care about Mic and hadn't realized it yet. but she didn't want Mic to Leave her. "I could stand to be a bit more open." she was actually trying to change her behavior this time, to ensure Mic stayed, even if it was subconscious (likely on purpose, in a way. trying to avoid Thinking about it because she doesn't like caring about people so she ignores those feelings and once again LIES to herself!!!!).

see what's so weird is that. at a first glance. it just seems like Taco is repeating the cycle. she teams up with a partner, she exerts control over them in some way or another, she befriends them to get their trust, and then eventually it fails. but the way she handled Pickle and Mic is. so so different.

with Pickle, her whole thing was advertising herself! she was trying to show themselves as a cute duo by being sweet friends with him, being silly and stupid for the audience, and controlling him very subtly mostly by heavily helping with certain challenges to keep him in the game or manipulating the audience rather than him. the big thing was Fake Friendship. and in the end, Taco left him. as she was planning to all along. it was a very self centered plan where Pickle was a sidekick to her that she used as a way to get further in, then dropped the moment she didn't need him anymore. doesn't mean she doesn't care about him though. but that's for later (if i can figure out how to word it).

now, with Microphone, her situation was completely the opposite in many ways. she COULDNT advertise herself! she put herself out there as much as possible in ii1 but in ii2 her entire existence is in hiding. she is not falsely befriending Mic to please an audience, but rather gaining her trust to use her as a puppet in a show she is no longer able to participate in. the way she controls Mic is much more aggressive than with Pickle. she's quite an angry person, it seems. anyway as you know, she tries to demand Mic do certain things (even if she is uncomfortable with them) and will reprimand her if she refuses to follow her plans. she kind of assumes everyone is stupider than her, including Mic at first. when Microphone manipulates Balloon using a better strategy than Taco had set up, she's impressed! she always expects that she's the smartest person in the room, Tricking everyone around her. this is part of why she sees herself as Bad while also being Superior. smarter and sneakier and cut out for manipulation.

anyway as time goes on she grows to actually trust Mic and see her as almost an equal, to the point she is willing to budge on things she would've never even considered changing before (such as being more open, actually listening to Mic's ideas, etc). she still struggles a lot with overstepping boundaries, such as in hatching the plan where she promises Microphone she won't physically hurt anybody and then immediately breaks that promise as they get on the ship because it's "necessary". it's not something Mic would understand, she thinks. she is just trying to get Mic further into the game. Taco doesn't seem to see Mic's discomfort either because she's very self centered, even if it is FOR Mic. Taco is trying to get Mic some praise and appreciation and a chance to win now. and that's what changes, that's what's odd. before this, she didn't actually care if Mic was getting Praised by the other contestants or not. she was manipulating and controlling her as best as she could, on her own. she didn't really care as long as she could get further in. and i would have a different view on this IF she didn't start talking about how good it must feel for Mic. because you could say it's so that the contestants wouldn't vote out Mic. but Taco didn't actually say anything about that. she was hoping Mic would be happy. she made sure the mission went as well as possible so that Microphone was clapped for and so Taco could, at the same time, feel good about herself for doing everything right and getting everything done Properly. her plan was Better than Mic's. it did everything right. they were both on the right path and now Mic was going to be happy and thank her for being oh-so-smart and would listen to her even more from now on. naturally that did not happen. Taco Wants to win. she wants the prize so, so badly. but in s1, she wanted to win alone. in s2, she wanted to win *with* Microphone.

[checked her for npd at this point and found it to be positive]

Microphone is someone who could actually be Taco's friend, someone who Maybe, would Listen to her Genuinely, and Want her around for once. Microphone wanted her to be more open and so she said she would be. she's far off from being vulnerable with anyone just yet but her heart aches for it. she's so lonely.

and especially because she deceives people so often, Taco ALWAYS feels like people love the mask but not her. when Microphone leaves her, it's like. impostor syndrome. she thinks that she's been deceiving herself all along into thinking she's Not a bad person. when clearly she is. because the only person she shared some of her Real Personality with, now hates her. so she must've been wrong to think she could ever be good, that she could ever be better than this, that someone could ever care about her. she's destined to be bad and she's going to accept that.

IM NOW BECOMING MY OWN SELF-FULFILLED PROPHECY!

doodles with the crown jewel Madam Vesper at the top :) drag oj design by my friend @what-stasis / what_stasis on twitter