decora renaissance

study

wip of a thing

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*

What you can't ignore.

The pain is dull yet unignorable, in the backdrop as you attend to what you need to on a daily. Pain is supposed to tell you that something is wrong. That your body is in danger. You, being the intellectual human that you are, know with perfect certainty that nothing could possibly be wrong. Because you know this for certain, you don't need to ask someone else for confirmation. In fact, you would rather shove a knife down your throat... Which would, most likely, be even more painful than what you can't ignore, ironically enough. But you'd still prefer it.

You don't need help, because you know you're alright. Everything is happening as it should, so this feeling should not be there. But it's still screaming at you, whining, begging for attention it can't receive. You attend to what you need to. You do what you must to see another day. The way your life is progressing is what you were taught was the norm and set standard, so surely, that is reason enough to ignore it.

But a wound won't go away just because you willed it. No, it's still there. Even if you got that wound doing what you must, it's still a wound, nonetheless. But you, being the intellectual human being that you are, say that if you can't see it directly in front of you, it must not exist at all. Surely, because your mother put your doll in the toy box, it stopped existing! Oh, what a smart person you must be.

The best way to face your demons is by not facing them at all, and the best way to accept yourself is by simply neglecting the concept as a whole. That's the conclusion you came to and some point, and now, you think it's the only thing that makes sense.

Maybe on a good day, you can admit to your shortcomings, if only you pretend they are someone else's.

Maybe then, you can think about your problems in some way, rather than just pushing them aside haphazardly.

And after you think them through, maybe you could realize that your problems truly are problems. That they're as real as the tearing of a knife, and as painful as it. That it doesn't just need time to heal, and that someone could help you.

And maybe, just maybe, one day, you could begin talking in first person again.

Everyone is born with a clearly visible mark that denotes which God created them. It has been so for time immemorial. Then, markless, you are born.

doctor voice hello yes im here returning your call about scheduling! ^_^ so the next appointment we have is tomorrow at 4am. after that the earliest we can get you in is december 2025... either of those sound good to you?

♡ 🅁🄴🅀🅄🄴🅂🅃🅂 🄰🄻🅆🄰🅈🅂 🅆🄴🄻🄲🄾🄼🄴 ♡

- 🎀ıllıllı❁𝓬𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓸𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓾𝓼𝓲𝓪𝓼𝓽 ❁ıllıllı🎀

ᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷ ᵐᵉ ᵒⁿ ⁱⁿˢᵗᵃᵍʳᵃᵐ @ ᵈᵘˡˡ.ᶜʳᵃʸᵒⁿˢ

ᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷ ᵐᵉ ᵒⁿ ᵗᵘᵐᵇˡʳ

Bought this at my comm's swap meet and I'm in love

Milky Planet pink JSK (2023 MTO)