I think they should've created an OnlyFans account for Professor. It would unironically made them so much money.

Watcher, once they read all the comments to their announcement:

My friends, my wife, people in this lovely fandom hate fishing, can't do the fishing minigame or just no

MEANWHILE IM HERE, BLESSED BY THE GODS OLD AND NEW, CATCHING EVERY SINGLE FISH VANILLA MODE

FISH WANT ME, SDV PLAYERS FEAR ME

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

my favourite thing in stardew valley is how when you upgrade your house for the first time, you go from a single bed to a double bed overnight. implying that robin moved you from one bed to the other while you were asleep.

I find it kind of funny that Shane is labelled the "i can fix him" romance of sdv but...he really isn't. You, the player, actually do very little in terms of "fixing" him. You watch him have a few breakdowns, and you intervene when he's drunk on the cliffs, but...he's the one who decides to start going to therapy. He's the one who decides to quit drinking. These are not things that you ever encourage him to do. You can headcanon certain interactions all you want, but this isn't like "the player chooses the genre of Elliott's future book." You have no impact on whether or not Shane cleans up his life. You support him at a few key moments, but the desire to change and be better comes from Shane, not the player.

You don't fix him. He fixes himself.

found this on my monthly tiktok scroll. i think we should add murder too.

i accidentally napped and had a dream (nightmare?) where a new update for stardew valley released where everything was the same except on a random day in year 3 Evelyn would just straight up die. There was a whole cutscene that started in her house where she collapsed, and then transitioned over to the hospital where Harvey gave George and Alex the worst news of their lives. However, they got to speak to her where she said something along the lines of "Yoba will protect me, and I am sure he will let me watch over you."

Alex and George would not talk to the player for more than a few words for a full season after this event. George would spend most of his time in the bedroom, so if you had less than 2 hearts with him, you could barely ever speak to him.

And Alex... oh my god, poor Alex. If you were married to him during this event, he just stayed in bed all day. Otherwise, if single, he would just stand on the beach most of the time, staring off into the ocean. If you tried to interact with him, it would just say "Alex is grieving... Better leave him be."

There was also other NPC dialogue like mayor Lewis saying "I haven't seen the community in this state of mourning since your grandfather passed..."

there was also a glitch where you could make Evelyn live forever and there were entire guides for the "immortal Evelyn glitch" that got patched out in the next update. If you tried to perform the glitch after the patch, mr. Qi would tell you that "hey, it happens to all of us. We can't prevent it, and neither can you, no matter how hard you try."

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

I don't care what official translations say, I chose to believe "Et tu, Brute?" translates to "What the FUCK, Brutus?"