Lando: How did you know you were in love with Charles? Max: ??? Lando: Max: I'm in love with Charles? Lando: Lando: Oh my god. (Lando goes to Max for advice about Oscar. Lando also learns very quickly that Max is the last person you go to for romantic advice.)

Charles: What do you guys want for Christmas?

Lewis: Respect.

Carlos: Appreciation.

Lando: For Oscar to love me back.

Max:

Max: … I was gonna say another cat.

“The adrenaline was nice

but I don’t like how she’s shaking.”

No because I will never emotionally recover from Jason Grace being cast out by his own camp.

The Roman camp.

And than being killed off by a Roman Emperor.

And both times it was because he chose to save some Greeks.

“We need more complex characters!!¡¡!”

Bitch, be for real, you couldn't handle him:

Ah, yes. Me, my boyfriend and his pillow body length of his "arch-enemy"

He rather not risk dreaming that again 💀

I just love the idea of Lucifer having to deal with this fucking guy every time he wants to see Charlie

Tad bit of stupid radio apple angst cuz it’s funny and I can’t stop thinking about them

my best friend asked me for an advice about dating.

Dude. Man. Apple of my eye.

I've dated one (1) guy, for like... two? three? weeks.

How the hell am I suppose to give you advices?

Valentino: *calling Angel Dust* Husk: *answers* Hello, you wart on the ass of Pandemonium. Valentino: Wha... Is this the bartender? Where's Angel!? Husk: Don't get your pantyhose in a twist, he's on his way, he just forgot his phone, so you can unclench. Valentino: Why you...! Husk: And while we're talking, tell Vox we found all the cameras he snuck into Alastor's bathroom, so he needs to up his game. Toodles. *hangs up* Charlie: ... There have been no cameras in any bathroom inside the hotel... right? Husk: I know that, Vox knows that. But Val doesn't, so when he tells Vox we found some, he is gonna think someone is intruding on his territory and be in a tizzy all week, which in turn will keep the other Vees too busy to cause trouble. Alastor: I knew there was a reason I keep you around.

Charlie: Where’s my chair? 

Vaggie: Lucifer broke it over Alastor’s back while they were wrestling. 

Alastor: Correction, Lucifer was wrestling. I was eating jambalaya.

Jason went on a solo quest when he was younger. Camp Jupiter was so proud that their little son of Jupiter was getting his own quest

. He helped Jupiter’s sacred Eagles. He loved those eagles, they visited him on occasion. A huge basilisk was threatening their nesting grounds. Jason killed it all by himself.

The camp saw Jason’s quest as a great success. He was victorious and came back with the basilisk’s fang as a prize.

The camp didn’t see Lichtenberg scars running down his back that Jupiter gave him because one of the eagles was injured. The only reason Jason was able to physically move was because Juno healed his wounds.

But the scars would be permanent.

The seven assumed the scars were from Jason’s powers.

But Percy and Annabeth know.

Thalia never had scars from using her powers

@ung0ds: it's okay. i don't mind a little attitude.

clarisse doesn't remember asking for permission, but for once, she decides to hold her tongue. maybe it's because, once upon a time, she actually respected him— a son of hermes who knew his way around a sword better than her own cabin is something even clarisse couldn't ignore. they'd been at camp together for the same amount of time, and while she doesn't feel nearly as betrayed as annabeth, it's still strange, knowing he's the enemy beyond just capture the flag.

“ what do you want, castellan? ” bitter, dry, not unlike the way she speaks to everyone, but with him, it's harsher, more deserved. “ give me one reason why i shouldn't kill you right now. my moral code's not as strong as jackson's. ” maybe if she kills him, if she stops this civil war before it really begins, maybe then her father will be proud of her, think of her as highly as he does his sons.

i’ve been thinking about riordanverse demigods and their mommy issues.

annabeth, piper, alex fierro: my mom is an absent goddess who’s kind of a bitch to me and my loved ones

jason, thalia, hazel: my mom was a messed up person when she was alive

nico, leo, frank, magnus chase: my mom died years ago but she was a wonderful person and i miss her every day

percy jackson and will solace: MY MOM 🤱 is my BEST 🤩 FRIEND 👯 she is so LOVELY 🥰 and KIND 💕 and COOL 😎 and i’m having DINNER 🍽️ WITH HER ON SATURDAY 🥳💫🤪

Chiron: so, how are the kids?

Coach Hedge: well, Piper had been living on one packet of Cheetos and 58 red bulls for the last week, Frank keeps using windows as doors, Nico is plotting Jason's murder because he ate the last poptart, I caught Percy and Annabeth almost two feet too close to eachother, Reyna tried to throw Leo of Argo 2 more then once because he called her RARA, and my fucking tv stopped working!

Chiron, very tired: well that sounds great.

Chiron: wait… what about Hazel?

Coach Hedge: oh, Hazel is great, she's in her room learning how to knit.