papioanubis
Papio Anubis
stop describing the good yarn as "yummy" or "buttery" ya ding dongs.
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I don't really go in the lost media and lostwave communities but I'm reading about how they found today a song they've been searching for years (Everyone Knows That aka. EKT) and turns out it originated from an 80s porno. The whole deal is so funny help.
Link to the Reddit thread
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fewer posts about “why do straight women date men who hate them” and more posts about “why do so many men hate women that it’s genuinely difficult for straight women to find romantic & sexual intimacy with a man who doesn’t hate them”
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the only two ways i can categorize height is if i see something tall i go 'woah, big boy man' and if i see something short i go 'hah.. baby man' and idk what to blame for this. anyway wanna hear about the times ghosts have touched my ass
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It’s funny to me that I’ve met people named Grace, Faith, Patience and Chastity. It is so funny that Puritan names have survived so long and are still so popular if you take a step back and think about it. She’s getting Starbucks today and accusing a townsperson of witchcraft tomorrow.
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i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal
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The Saga of Bob: Endgame (hopefully)
This one was awhile coming. Partly I was afraid that if I posted it, the tumor would come back the next day, and partly I had some complications that took awhile to iron out. But here we are, at long last, sans Bob.
You can learn all about how I had cancer in Part One or hit the prior episode at Part Seven.
What is with doctors and painkillers?! Though to her credit, she was like “I am so sorry you’re in pain! Let me write a new prescription!”
(Still not sure if it’s PTSD.)
That last bit was the really scary one. (It was, uh, pretty bad. Never been bedridden before. Don’t recommend it.)
Shout out to Doctor Pinkeye who had it sorted in two business days. Also, when I first reported my symptoms, she said “You never complain about anything. If you say something’s wrong, it is.” She’s a doctor in a million.
Lack of cortisol can cause problems in about twenty different ways, including dangerous levels of potassium and blowing your electrolytes all to hell. It’s actually kinda interesting, in a “wow, look at all the fascinating ways I could keel over!” way.
Honestly, after two months of slowly crashing cortisol levels, complaining about radiation would have felt like complaining over a hangnail. It was boring and I moisturized a lot, the end.
Also there are some quite nice MedicAlert bracelets on Etsy.
And here is hoping I never have to make another one of these!
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He must have chewed it into a fine, sandy consistency.
NOBODY IN THE WORLD is this fucking stupid
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the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight
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the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
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literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro
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WAIT!
Before you hit send on that ask, reblog, or reply, remember to stop and PROOFREAD!
am I Pissing on the Poor?
did I Read the post in bad faith?
could I be Overexaggerating?
am I Out of line for saying this?
is it kind of Fucked up to say that to a total stranger?
is what I said Rude?
am I being Egotistical?
am I Angry at words that weren't in the post?
did I Dream up a pretend person to get mad at?
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT YOURSELF FROM LOOKING LIKE A JACKASS ONLINE!
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Idea: Atheist occult detective.
"You're an atheist who fights demons?"
"I'm an exterminator. I kill bugs."
"But you know demons are real. Doesn't that refute your whole deal?"
"Nah. If science can't explain something, it just means there's an open question we haven't gotten around to answering yet. Nobody can explain where the demons come from, but nobody can explain large particle segregation, either."
"Large particle segregation?"
"Yeah. Y'know when you take a can of mixed nuts and shake it and all the big ones go to the top and the little ones go to the bottom? Nobody knows why that happens. Physicists have been arguing about it for centuries. Lots of good theories, but nobody's ever been able to come up with a testable proof. Life is full of little mysteries."
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