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panstardalia · 8 months

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After the Summer #6: What you deserve

Masterlist: here!

Content: BBU; institutionalized slavery; dehumanization; it as a pronoun; pet whump; minor whump; whipping; inflicted burns; blood; begging; non-sexual nudity; physical torture; non-con (implied); starvation.

In a certain night, there was a dream. In the dream, Rat was royalty living in a palace made of light and music. Servants came inside the huge bedroom to help it out of the soft silk sheets and into clothes made of the finest fabric. Rat smiled kindly at them, and even though it could not see their faces, it knew they were smiling in return.

After that, breakfast was almost a banquet, full of the most tempting dishes. Everything was so delicious, and Rat once again thanked the faceless servants with a smile as bright as the sun shining through the windows. The atmosphere was so warm and welcoming that after the rich meal, Rat decided to take a stroll and explore every corner it could find in that impressive building.

It walked slowly through the corridors, admiring each and every work of art hanging on the walls. Most of the paintings exibited green scenarios, some of them with people playing around, dancing and singing. There were flowers, majestic animals and the most astounding landscapes, but nothing captured Rat's attention more than the garden it saw when it looked out the next window.

On the outside, Rat felt the sunbeams like a joyful hug. Fresh air was like a caress for its lungs and the grass was as soft as the bed from before when it took off the comfortable shoes to feel the earth. Rat's clothes flicked smoothly by the breeze as it made its way among the infinite flowers of the garden. Roses, dahlias, lilies, violets and sunflowers, it looked like every color of every type was there, shining happily as if they were saying hello.

While appreciating the sweet scent and the feeling of freedom and peace, Rat heard gentle footsteps behind it. It looked over its shoulder and saw a young man dressed like a prince. He stopped a few steps away and reached out his hand in an invitation Rat could not say no to. In the garden of the palace made of light and music, they danced and laughed and spun around each other for what felt like seconds, but also a little happy lifetime.

But then the prince spoke, and just like his face, his voice was nothing but static. As Rat didn't respond, confused, his posture shrunk in worry. He repeated himself again and again, becoming gradually more desperate, but Rat couldn't make sense of his words. The sky got darker as the flowers withered and their pleasant smell became metalic and putrid. The white palace begun a slow and horrifying melting process, threatening to swallow the entire garden, but rough hands grabbed Rat's arms, ankles, waist and neck and pulled it away from the anguished prince.

Tearing up the soft fabric of Rat's clothes, the huge hands left bruises all over its body as they put a heavy collar around its neck. It cried and tried to reach out for the prince, but soon the hands also covered its mouth and nose, keeping it from even breathing. So it fell down into a jet black abyss, unable to escape the hands when gravity became overwhelming. Rat gave up and closed its eyes, knowing the palace made of light and music was not made for bad pets that disappointed their masters.

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Rat woke up on the floor, wrapped in the blanked Master gave it a long time ago. Its back felt sore as it got up, but the smallest noise could wake Master up, so it kept silent. Sound asleep, when his face was not filled with rage, he looked very handsome, like every single feature of his had been designed by a talented artist. He is nothing like me, Rat thought while admiring him. Master is so perfect. He is intelligent, cunning and so very generous. This is why he took me in, a filthy mutt, and still cares for me after so many failiures of mine. I'm so grateful to be his pet.

On its tiptoes, after finishing the morning chant, it left the suite still wrapped in the blanket. Rat looked through the window and saw the thick snow still falling down. If there was a sun, it was well hidden behind the heavy coulds. December was as dark as the sky from the fading dream.

Knowing the blanket was a reward, not a right, Rat ignored the shivering cold and went downstairs, into the basement, to leave the folded cover in its crate. It was so greatful for the nights Master let it sleep on his tile floor instead of the crate that it didn't really mind doing its least favorite job and serving him.

I'm a bad pet for not actually enjoying it... But at least I can pretend well enough so Master has a good time. I'll learn to like it eventually. I just need to try harder.

After tightening its own muzzle on its face, Rat let out a small whimper before going upstairs to prepare breakfast. As much as it hated being gagged, it was determined on deserving food and maybe sleeping on the floor again, and for this to happen, it would need to be the best pet.

The morning went on swiftly. Ignoring the growling stomach and focusing on work was Rat's specialty. After lunch, it was massaging Master's feet when he spoke, and his deep voice felt like it grabbed and twisted Rat's guts.

"I'll have a work meeting this afternoon. Be sure to have that japanese tea I bought last week ready at four o'clock, this asian guys are very punctual. If I close the deal, we will have more pets like you. Isn't it great?"

Rat didn't really think it was great. It knew it was a different kind of pet, trained with a different method, and it also knew that normal pets truly adored their masters, unlike this filthy rat that still wished for more than it deserved. But Master was way more intelligent than it, so it would not doubt him. If he thought more pets like Rat would be a good thing, then it would.

"And if you don't fuck this up" he continued. "I will let you have something for dinner."

Now this was promising. After so many hours without anything but water, it would do whatever it takes for some crumbles. Maybe he would even give it leftovers! With a new goal, it was twice as determined to be perfect!

Right on time, Rat prepared a very nice afternoon tea with matcha and snacks. It welcomed the guests and led them to the studio where Master waited for the foreigner duo.

Both men were way shorter than Master, but one of them was also shorter than Rat itself. Well, not that it was that short. They had fancy suits on and carried heavy-looking suitcases, however, their stolid faces didn't reveal much more, unphased by Rat's nudity nor the muzzle.

While Master welcomed his soon to be associates, Rat went after the small meal. Everything was running greatly as it served the tea, watching out for its posture and avoiding spilling even the slightest drop.

It was ready to retreat and kneel down by Master's feet when one of the men took a sip. His face remained steady like a stone, but he looked at his partner and said in a low voice, almost a whisper: "totemo nigai."

No, it was not good. Rat was supposed to be perfect, so no guest would be unsatisfied. It came back and, with an apologetic bow, put some sugar on his cup. Then, it silently offered the same to the other man, who accepted. They both approved the tea, and only after this Rat took its place by Master's feet, without even noticing his shocked glare.

"So" begun the man who complained. "Did you teach your pet to speak Japanese or it already knew and you just left the memories there?"

And it was only then that Rat realized that he had not said "too bitter". He had, but not in English, not in the only language Rat was supposed to know. But it didn't know Japanese... did it? How would it know, being nothing other than a filthy mutt?

Its stomach dropped cold as it finally felt Master's sharp glare. None of it really mattered if the damage was already done. Rat was not supposed to know anything but how to please its master.

"I taught it some basic words. I thought maybe something like this would happen, so I have prepared it to better serve you" Master lied. Behind his smile, his voice had a dangerous semitone that made Rat feel small, too small.

"That's impressive" said the shorter partner, eyebrows raised. "I don't think anyone thought of using The Drip to teach another language to a pet before, much less doing it without any drug. We only use it to make them forget, not learn."

"So as you can see, my method is a success. WRU don't think so, but I am sure your company sees its potential."

"That's right, Mister Holloway. But let's talk. Unfortunately, my partner and I didn't bring all the necessary instruments to examine your pet, so we would like to hear about your theory and schedule another meeting exclusively to take a look at it."

"Of course" Once again, Master's voice had that hidden semitone. Not only he was unsatisfied, he was pissed.

And Rat was screwed.

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Complaining about the crate was a distant memory. It was so more confortable than hanging by the wrists! Rat's toes could barely touch the cold floor, not enough to really support its weight. Its limbs were numb and staying awake was becoming more chalenging every minute. Even so, it knew that passing out would make things worse, so it fought against the pain and the exhaustion.

Master had put them there after having dinner, which meant he would not come back until morning. The worst part was knowing this torture was just a warm up. Rat knew better than to expect mercy at this point, and that is why there was no relief when he finaly came down the stairs, slowly, as if he had all time in the world to savor his pet's dread.

His suitcase made a loud bang against the metal table just before it cracked open. Rat could not see that far. Even if it wasn't dark down there, its eyes were too blurry to make sense of the world from a certain distance. Another one between its thousands flaws.

"I give up" Master harshly pulled off Rat's muzzle. Its sore jaw hung loose as it whimpered, too week to even try to say something. "I swear to God I thought I could do it, but you left me with no options."

He went back to the table, and from the suitcase, he took something Rat had never seen before: a thick needle.

"You are the problem, you know? This is your fault! I did everything I could, I gave you everything! I took you in, I gave you shelter, I gave you a purpose! And how do you repay me? You humiliate me in front of my guests! You hide things from me! How am I supposed to make you perfect if you insist on being a mutt?!"

"I'm... I'm sorry... Master" Rat tried, its throat too dry to produce anything more than a raw whisper.

"Sorry doesn't fix anything!" His shout made the whole basement quiver, or maybe Rat was already hallucinating from hunger. Or from thirst, or from the pain. Maybe everything altogether. "I don't give a fuck if you're sorry! Do something, anything right, and then I'll stop punishing you! But how could you do such a thing, I wonder. You are a catastrophe!"

Rat sobbed as tears rolled down its cheek. Another day, another failure. How could it be a good pet if it couldn't even notice when it did something wrong?!

"I'm done with you" Master's murmur came with a sharp pain in Rat's neck as the needle made its way in and it swore it could feel the liquid burning in its veins.

Next thing Rat felt was a white-hot pain on its chest when the whip cut the air towards its skin. And again and again, against its limbs, face, back and torso. Each cut burned more than the previous one, but Master's hatred was even fierier, and Rat's screams only seemed to make him stronger.

More than once, it lost its balance and strenght. Rat felt as if its hands were getting separated from its wrists for the seconds before its toes found the floor again, and the blood between the skin and the shackles made it feel so slippery. How could it get any worse?

This question had its answer when the man grew tired of the whip. After the long session, he decided the lighter was next.

"Please..." Rat whined, knowing it was useless. "Please, Master..."

In response, he touched its cheek, and it unconsciously leaned against his touch. He was so close Rat could feel his warm breath fondle its face as he said: "I must admit... you are a lot more attractive when you are like this. Blood suits you so well, my little rat. I like it when you beg. Then beg."

So it did. It begged and cried while the small flame painted red spots all around its once fair body. The burns stung like hell, and Rat wondered if it was not actually there. Sometimes it felt too human to be a pet, but in moments like this, it felt like less than an animal, less than scum. Nothing.

"You are beautiful like this" Master's voice sounded distant. Sunlight was almost visible upstairs, meaning time had flown by. Maybe he was almost done, finally? Would he be kind and benevolent enough to let Rat down, even if it deserved the punishment?

He grabbed its ankle and let the flame burn its foot sole. Too week to move or support itself, Rat once again lost the floor and cried, the handcuffs tearing its skin apart under its weight. Blood drops dripped on its face, but every inch of their body was in so much agony that some more blood wasn't even relevant anymore.

"I love it when you make this face" he let go of Rat's ankle and hugged its body from behind. His hand slipped through the cuts and bruises, as if it was exploring, looking for an undiscovered spot to harm. "I love it when you are week and helpless. If only you could stop being so useless... if only you could deserve my love..."

While his hands strolled around its body, invading Rat's soul on their way, it felt Master pressing himself on its back. "Please" it muttered. "Forgive me, Master..."

"I will" was his answer. "I always forgive you in the end, don't I? I can't help it... I have invested so much on you already. My money, my time, my resources..." but as he finally let go of it, Rat felt a dither. It was not over yet. Master always needed a grand finale.

He encircled Rat once, twice, pondering about how to finish this punishment, or maybe just admiring his work: a broken bloody mess... that was not yet broken enough.

So he made up his mind and grabbed Rat's shoulder, taking his time to analyze and visualize the plan. When satisfied, a crooked smile reached not only Master's mouth, but also his void eyes. "I want you to think, to really think, about how bad you did yesterday. I want you to know I'm doing this for your own good" he said while depositing a bittersweet kiss on the corner of its lips.

"Y-yes, Master" Rat lowered its eyes, exausted, imagining what else this man could do to punish it, what else it deserved. Please just let me down.

It let out a wail when the man, with two clean movements, dislocated both its shoulders.

And then he left.

#whump #whumpblr #bbu oc #bbu whump #pet whump #bbu #pet whumpee #whumpee #after the summer #Noelle Keyland #whumper #intimate whumper

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panstardalia · 9 months

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Someone on Tumblr, but not the Whump part of Tumblr, asked to read my fic and I'm kinda freaking out because it's BBU of all things and I want more people to read it but I don't want to traumatize someone from the outside heeeelp what do I do???

#whump #whumpblr #help???#I want more readers but I don't want to drag anyone to this black whole full of pain and agony I live in #I feel like a beginner politician facin their first corruption offer and hesitating about accepting it or not

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panstardalia · 9 months

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After the Summer #5: Tea Party

Masterlist: here!

Content: BBU; institutionalized slavery; dehumanization (mentioned); pet whump; past beating up, whipping, starvation, self harm, sexual abuse/non-con and chemical torture (mentioned); multiple whumpees; self doubt. Whumpees are going to share some experiences.

Discomfort was not a foreigner concept for Noelle, as they had been trained to ignore such things. But it was before, when they were a pet under the threats of a mad man. Now, after weeks of being treated as a human being, it was getting harder and harder to let little things slide. It took them a while to figure out what was bugging them, but it finally clicked during a movie night with everyone.

Beside them on the couch, sharing a duvet with Noelle, Allen had his eyes on the screen. Oliver and Victor were on the ground, their blanket forgotten at their feet, and their faces were not visible. On the other end of the couch, Noelle could feel two pairs of eyes piercing them constantly. Miss Lily was good at pretending to watch the movie, but Des was much less subtle. They were worried, evaluating Noelle's reactions to every scene, leading them to believe they have watched this movie before, in a past life they didn't remember.

It was always like this, they realized. Everyone was so concerned, distraught even, walking on eggshells to avoid triggering another crisis, another waking nightmare.

The old Noelle, the one from the old pictures, had straight shoulders and a bright smile despite the scars on their wrist. Their eyes were light blue and their hair looked so soft. This present Noelle, however, had a shrunken posture and opaque gray eyes, thin hair and a bar code covering the faded horizontal marks. They were not the friend the others expected to rescue, the one they missed for a year, and none of them knew how to deal with that.

The more cautious those people acted, the more cloistered Noelle felt. With Master, they were conscious of every move they were supposed to make. Obviously, the punishments were dreadful and Noelle surely didn't want to go back to, not even remember those times, but it was inevitable to compare situations: now they would not be actually punished, but not knowing what they should do was as bad as a whipping session when people you love have so much sorrow in their eyes.

Noelle wanted to know how to ease their pain so bad...

"Please excuse me..." They stood up cautiously to avoid stepping on Victor and Oliver.

"You okay?" Oliver raised his head to look at them, and his voice also had that worried tone that caged Noelle's heart.

"Yes." They whispered. "You guys keep watching. I'll be right back."

Noelle ran on their tip toes and hid in their room. With their back pressed against the closed door, they took deep breaths just like Miss Lily have taught. Even without past memories, Noelle really loved those people, the Firefly family, and felt so, so greateful for everthing they were doing. Each one of them was so special and full of light. Noelle just wanted to be light as well, to be as colorful and luminous as them, but Master was always hiding in the shadows as a reminder of everything that could never be again.

"Knock-knock" Allen's voice said on the other side. "May I come in, please?"

Noelle would have hesitated had it been anyone else. Allen was different, though. They were not sure if it was because of the romantic feelings fluctuating between them, their story emerging everytime their hands touched, or if it was because he understood Noelle better than anyone. He knew what to do when they woke up screaming in the middle of the night and when they forgot how to be a human being. He was truly there and it would never be appreciated enough.

The door opened in a silent movement and the boy touched Noelle's shoulders. They wouldn't have imagined his touch would be so comfortable after the discovery of their past together. They used to be a couple, to share kisses, hold hands and... well, Noelle didn't really know how far they both have gone. But they knew Allen wasn't demanding anything from them.

"I would never expect anything of this sort from you" he had said on that occasion. "I just want you to feel like your own person again. Then maybe one day, when you feel in charge, you will want to be my joyfriend once more. Maybe not. Maybe you will find out a boyfriend doesn't fit in your new life, or that this is not me." His smile was sad, but also genuine. He meant every single word. "No matter how it goes... I love you so much, Noelle. I promise you... I will support you every day until you can walk on your own and forever on."

This is why his touch was so warm: because it was home. So Noelle leant their head on his shoulder and let him hug them. Slowly, their arms involved his body as well. They both stayed like that for a while, hugging by the closed door, and after a couple minutes, Allen wraped a lock of Noelle's hair around his finger and muttered softly:

"I know it has been difficult for you. Painful, even. I know I am about to ask for the moon, but I need you to stay with me on this one. Is that alright?"

Noelle wondered how was that boy able to have an elfin british accent if he was asian. They also wondered how he could make them feel so seen.

As Allen felt the small nod, he proceeded.

"I think you need to talk" He whispered. "About this past year. The others, they... they don't know such violence... none of us can even imagine the horrors you suffered. It is making you feel distant, but we cannot push our way in. You are the only one who can open this door."

Noelled raised their head to look at him. His face, always so calm and sweet, still so melancholic, wasn't enough to mask what he said.

"They don't know violence." Noelle repeated. "Do you, Allen?"

He supressed a flinch in between his love's arms. "I do... but it was a long time ago... it took me a long time to trust anyone again. But I trusted you. I let you in, and now I have a family" Allen hesitated, not sure where to look at. "You don't have to talk to me, or Lily, or anyone specifically... but I think talking about it would be good for you."

The idea of vocalizing all the beating, whipping and yelling was already heavy enough, but Noelle plunged even deeper. They thought about how they felt humiliated and helpless, how they were always scared and how devoted they felt towards that man. No one would hear about it and still see a human being afterwards.

"I can't" they sobbed weakly, even though no tears fell. "I have trouble even feeling like a person... if I tell anyone about this... you would understand why I am just a filthy rat."

Immediately, Allen's arms tightened around Noelle.

"Don't you dare repeating this ever again" He menaged to sound soft, yet harsh at the same time. "You are the most lively and brightful person I know. Even now, after this long excruciating night... you are still a sweet and cozy sunshine."

Noelle didn't answer for a while. Again, they didn't feel like a sunshine, a fireplace, not even a candle or a lit match. The old Noelle, maybe. They didn't want Allen to mourn this memory.

"I wish I could talk..." they said at last. "But I can't. I can't risk it, it is physically impossible."

"Maybe..." Allen took a step back, making that adorable idea face. "Maybe you could talk to someone who understands you."

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So there they were, sitting by a thoroughly set table with cakes, breads, little sandwiches, tea and juice. It looked like a scene from a cottagecore movie, maybe a Studio Ghibli movie even, with little flowers between dishes and a very detailed tea set. It was beautiful.

There were two other people there, both looking much more at ease than Noelle. The tall and skinny boy did look like he had the sun in his chest, his welcoming smile and gentle eyes allowing them to relax bit by bit. The girl, on the other hand, was clearly as shy as Noelle, using her colored hair to cover her face. The two of them had only one common feature: the collar scar on their necks matching their own.

"I'm Henry Abels, he/him pronouns" said the boy cheerfully. "And this is my friend Violet, she/her. Welcome to the Pet Lib Unnoficial Support Club. It is really nice to meet you. What is you name?"

"Noelle. Keyland" they frowned, fishing out the memory of Miss Lily explation about pronouns. "I use they/them, because I'm neither a man nor a woman."

"That's so cool" Violet raised her chin, looking genuinely interested. "I kinda get you. I'm a girl, but everyone from my past treated me as a boy. They even made me believe I was a boy by using that drug, The Drip. But I think gender identity is stronger than brainwash."

"It looks like Violet likes you already" with a chuckle, Henry took a sip of his tea. "You see, Noelle, this is supposed to be a safe space. People like us need this. We truly understand each other's fears and pain, in one way or another. Violet, Rudy and I usually talk shit about our old masters and handlers, but today we are here to shelter you. We're here for you."

"Not Rudy, tho" The girl said with a cupcake halfway her mouth. "Where is your boyfriend?"

"He is really sorry he couldn't come today" Henry smiled apologetically. "He has a medical exam today. You know, his handlers really overused The Drip, so he still has those side effects..."

"I hope he gets better soon..." she muttered before focusing on her cupcake.

Noelle took a minute to process a new information. That boy right in front of them had just talked about his boyfriend. Bigger than that, even, his boyfriend was also a former pet. Someone just like them, who felt so far from the real world, had a real romantic relationship! It was so hard to believe, they couldn't help but having questions.

"You have a boyfriend..." they whispered hesitantly. "How is that possible? Don't you feel... too shattered for that?"

Regret filled Noelle's chest immediately. How dare tham talk to anyone like that? But for their surprise, Henry just smiled tenderly and replied in a soft tone.

"I did. When Pet Lib rescued me, I was a total mess. It was almost as bad as being under my old master's custody. I was so afraid all the time, I cried non-stop and I was even starving myself. But then I met him at the official recovery facility and... gods, he was as fucked up as I was. I'm not sure how we did that, but we bonded over this. We supported each other and everything became a little less terrifying. However, it took us a long time to feel whole and secure enough to begin a real relationship."

"They are very cute together" Violet poured Noelle some tea. "Rudy is almost non verbal due to his distrust, but he is actually a very sweet guy once he opens up. He was a Guard Dog pet, so it is understandable he doesn't talk much."

"Do you talk about your life as pets just like this?" It was difficult for Noelle to believe such a thing.

"It takes time to feel comfortable enough about that" once again Henry gave them a tender smile. "Feel free to try, to fail and try again or not."

After a second pondering about it, Noelle pressed their lips and shrugged. "Could you two, maybe... talk about yours first?"

"Me first!" If Violet seemed shy minutes ago, she was a totally different person now. Henry had said she liked Noelle, but they could not understand why was that. "So. I was a Domestic, but my owner was a mad scientist. Actually he was a pharmaceutical. Well, he used me as a test subject, so my head is pretty messed up. I was rescued some months ago, but just like Rudy, I still feel the side effects."

Her story made Noelle's stomach hurt. It sounded so gruesome, terrifying at least. They put themself in her shoes and imagined being constantly abused with different substances in their body. An uncomfortable shiver was enough to convince them to stop thinking about it.

"How about..." they decided to ask instead. "How about your memories? Did they take long to return?"

"I barely have memories from my past" Violet shook her head. "The guys from Pet Lib couldn't find my family and I remember nothing but being misgendered, so..."

"I'm so sorry..." mumbled Noelle, heart shrunken. Months, she had said, and still no memories. What if they were the same?? What if their memories were lost forever?? ... Was Noelle faded to never remember Allen and their story?

"Don't be" the girl sounded upset, but far from devastated, like it was a minor issue, not her whole life lost. "It's sad, but... I'm okay. I've recently moved out the Pet Lib quarters and I'm taking little steps towards independence. I'm finally a free girl and I have people to share this with. If the past is important, it's going to reach me eventually. It did for Henry."

Noelle turned their head to look at the blond boy, curious. He must have read through their face, because he giggled sweetly and said "It is true. Pet Lib was having a hard time finding my family, but a coincidence put everything together."

"How so?" Noelle's interest was too picked to be timid. Was he about to give them the answer?

"Well..." he took another sip of his tea. "It turns out nobody noticed I am a foreigner. Obviously, neither did I. But someone at the facility decided to watch a movie from my homeland, which is Norway, by the way, and hearing my home language triggered some memories. After that, they were able to find my dad and he came to pick me up. Since there are no qualified facilities in Norway and I was already attached to Rudy, he decided to stay here, and here I have been living as Henry Abels, the human, for the last fifteen months."

At first, his report made Noelle wither. They were not a foreigner, so his recipe to success would not work for them. On the other hand, however... he found his blood family. Maybe it was time for them to insist with Miss Lily to meet their blood family, because they were sure there was someone out there. It had to be.

"What kind of pet were you?" they said under their breath, wanting to hear more about the joyful boy.

For the first time, Henry's smile quivered. When he answered, his voice sounded tired. "I was a Romantic. For five long years. It feels like an eternity..." he hesitated, but just like he was able to see through Noelle's fears, he continued. "I still feel disgusted when I think about how committed I was to Logan. I would smile at him and the pinnacle of my day was when he touched me. Oh, was it repulsive... I wish I could forget it entirely, but he is still waiting for me in my nightmares every once in a while."

Silence fell back on the table. Noelle felt so sorry for Henry they could cry. Even if they knew what it was like to be used as a sexual tool, it felt like they would never be able to truly understand how painful it was for Henry. His story was more relatable, but everything felt so wrong.

Violet and Henry were too human to go through such dread. None of them deserved their stories, those harmful memories. Noelle, on the other hand, still felt like a filthy rat. They were not the same.

"I can now remember who I was before" Henry lowered his eyes. "I used to be a stuborn stone head child. My own father confessed I was not the same and it hurt so much. I felt like I would never be able to be human again, much less the same. But then he said I didn't need to..." he smiled, and little tears were visible in his eyes. "He said that I was back in his arms and it was more than enough. That I could be anyone, I would still be his son."

He used his hand to dry his tears. Violet touched his arm, unable to relate to his feeling. Nevertheless, she was there for her friend. Not everything about former pets was relatable, but everyone have suffered more than anyone would ever deserve. Noelle understanded it now. Both Violet and Henry, who were tortured in so different ways, and even Rudy probably, had bonded over the feeling of having lost everything including themselves.

"How can you always say the right thing, Henry...?" Asked Noelle, also wiping tears. They smiled briefly before taking a deep breath and anouncing a decision: "I think I'm ready to share my story, now."

#whump #whumpblr #bbu oc #bbu whump #pet whump #bbu #pet whumpee #whumpee #Noelle Keyland #After the Summer #whump scenario

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panstardalia · 9 months

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Whumpee has no memories and believes they were rescued by Whumper (Caretaker? Whumpertaker? Carewhumper?). For a while, the two of them live a peaceful life. Whumper help Whumpee recover, taking care of them and quetly rediming themself for all the torture.

For the first time in forever, Whumper is happy. They never knew living with someone so sweet was so nice, they never knew how good it felt to help someone. Whumpee is also very gentle and has a bright smile. They thank Whumper for rescuing and helping them everyday. They don't remember who tortured them, but it must have been someone really scary and terrible. But it's okay because they are with Whumper, now, so they are safe.

This is why Whumper's world shatter when Whumpee starts recovering their memory bit by bit. It's just a matter of time until they remember WHO did that to them.

Prompt 5

While Whumper is trying to get information out of Whumpee, they hit Whumpee hard on the head and Whumpee passes out. When Whumpee regains consciousness, Whumper realises that Whumpee have lost their memories. Whumper takes this opportunity to take care of Whumpee, they had never wanted to hurt anyone, but someone had to get what Whumpee knew; of course that no make sense anymore now that Whumpee have no memories.

#whump #whump scenario #whump prompt #carewhumper #whumpee #whumper #prompt 5

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panstardalia · 9 months

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tw captivity, sensory overload, sound torture, conditioning

It was that fucking sound.

Whumpee had no idea what it was, but it was loud and constant, making them feel on edge at all times. They couldn't think with it in the background, couldn't rest, couldn't hear their own voice.

They had lost their temper about it several times, yelling angrily and pounding at the walls for someone to turn it off. They had curled up and cried miserably, sobbing that they just wanted quiet.

The sound didn't cease.

They banged their head against the wall until it bled and swell, trying to crawl out of their skin to no avail, but the sound didn't cease, and they would've done anything for it to stop, just for a moment. Please. Stop.

Suddenly, it stopped.

Whumpee froze like a deer in headlights, afraid to move a muscle lest it reactivate the horrible machine that made the noise. They didn't even breathe.

The door to their cell opened, quietly gliding along the floor. They watched as a figure entered the room, the clacking of their shoes muffled by some sort of foam they had put on the bottom of it. They placed a piece of paper on the floor, with the words 'It's over for now. So long as you comply, we won't make a single sound.'

Whumpee nodded frantically, faster than they'd made any decision before. Anything to keep it quiet.

@ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @rosewriteswhump

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panstardalia · 9 months

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so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

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panstardalia · 9 months

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After the Summer #4: Method

Masterlist: here!

Content: BBU; institutionalized slavery; dehumanization; it as a pronoun; pet whump; minor whump; beating up; blood; begging; non-sexual nudity; physical torture; starvation; inflicted cold.

When cientists work, they have to follow cautiously established rules. Every step have to go according to a plan. Rat new that much, they were smart enough for that. Apparently, though, they were not smart enough to put themself aside the rules and play pretend. No matter how hard they tried, they were never smart enough to follow their Master's orders without making at least one mistake in the process.

That's because they knew they were the subject of Master's experiment.

In a certain day, Rat made so many mistakes that it didn't even seem possible. They tried to convince themself it was because of their confused mind, that they were not in a good mental state and that knowing about being a subject would most certainly change the experiment results, but nothing could justify their incompetence. Master had been crystal clear about that.

Everything started when Rat's brain decided to bring back a melody they thought was lost. It didn't sound particularly important, just a little something to hum while sweeping Master's studio, but soon there were also lyrics to sing. After two verses, Rat realized what they were singing and their chest felt dense, but not enough to stop.

"Thought I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay, now... Oh I hope someday I'll make it out of here, even if it takes all night or a hundred years." they sang in whispers and held the broom tightly, looking out the window. Rat was sure they were not making that song up, so it was a memory. They knew memories were bad, that Master wanted to wipe all of them from their mind, but somehow music was one of the hardest parts to forget.

And to be honest, Rat didn't want to lose their memories. They knew a lot of them was already missing, and they were afraid of what would happen when the last one was gone. Rat was sure they had another name before that, and they were also sure they had a family of some sort. They could remember the hope that someone would come and take them away from Master, but now, even with this hope still in their heart, they couldn't recall a single name or face. There was someone... right? But who?

Rat's singing was interrupted when a wave of pain made them lose all stenght in their legs. They tried to find support on the broom, but it slipped and Rat fell down on the ground, unable to even use their hands to break the fall. The shock collar kept on for what felt like hours before Master's voice resonated distantly.

"I thought I have told you to clean up my studio."

"I-it's done, Master!" Rat quickly stated, raising themself to kneel up. "I was-"

"Shut it" He demanded, the low voice and cold eyes telling Rat everything they needed to know: he was pissed. "Why do you think you are allowed to sing around?"

Now that was a trick question with no right answer. If they said something like I know I'm not, then they would admit they knew they were doing something wrong. On the other hand, they could not lie and say they didn't know it was not allowed. Rat was trapped with no way out.

"I don't-" they stuttered. "I won't do it again, Master, I swear-"

Rat wasn't able to finish the sentence as the man grabbed a handful of their hair and yanked them to the floor. He then caught hold of their hair again and pulled them up. Rat held back a yelp, too terrified to say anything.

"And WHY, I wonder, do you keep talking with that disgusting voice of yours?!" He yelled, shaking their head.

"I'm so sorry...!" Rat whispered, trying their best not to cry. They had learned their lesson. Singing was bad, their voice was bad, they knew it now.

Master was not satisfied, though. Even when he let go of Rat's hair and told them to leave, his expression was enough to tell them it was not over yet.

They ran out of the studio with the broom, ignoring the pain on their scalp. It would be the best luck if it was the worse for the day. So no more wasting time on fear, lost in thoughts. They had to prepare lunch.

One day after another, Rat was losing their determination to hold up on the memories they had left. They were not sure for how long they have been under Master's grasp, but it already felt like forever. If there was something worthy saving among those memories, then why had nobody came to save them yet? The only thing remembering brought was pain and nothing else. Each time Rat thought of anything outside their duties as a pet, suffering and torment followed. If they weren't going to be rescued, then maybe they should't cling to their past anymore.

Table set, Rat put the cloche over Master's plate and ran back to the kitchen, sort of to hide from him, and closed their eyes to listen. Across the hall, they could hear the man typing on his computer. They knew it wasn't normal to hear that far away, but that super power had been proving itself essential for Rat's survival. They always knew where Master was (except for when they were distracted, just like earlier), his footsteps could be heard from any room in the house.

If Rat had a fear, was that Master would find out about this ability and find a way to bypass it. They could not bring themself to imagine how harder it would be to survive if he did that, the bare thought petrified them with fear.

The typing stopped. Rooms away, the office chair made a flowing sound against the wooden floor and Master's footsteps approached. With their eyes still closed, Rat could almost see him sit down on his usual chair in the dinning room. He took off the clotch and the cutterly was loud against the plate. He was eating. Rat's stomach growled as they hadn't eaten anything in the past twenty four hours, but knowing Master was eating with no complains was enough.

Now they only had to wait and keep listening. Better then letting their memories go, Rat had learned an even more valuable lession that day: to never stop hearing Master.

------------------------------------------

Rat wondered if Master's method was working. They wondered if he knew they knew about conditioning and if was much harder to condition someone who knew they were being conditioned. "You can never outsmart me", he had said forever ago. That sentence came with a great amount of pain, enough to make them understand it was true. Even so, they could not help but ponder if he knew how smart Rat was. Not more than him... but maybe more than he would think.

There were so many maybes, so many ifs. Rat had still to decide what to do with all of it. Would telling Master show him how loyal they were? Or would it trigger his rage, for Rat was not allowed to think so much of themself? Should they keep their knowledge a secret?

"November fifteenth" they heard Master say to his voice recorder. "The progress is getting slower. I don't know what I am missing. That filthy rat of mine keeps getting its memory trigged and I can't seem to keep track of the triggers. I know I said I want to do it without chemicals, but at this rate, I'll end up with no choice but using them."

His voice was deep and Rat had a hard time recognizing all the words. However, that entry was very promising. They had to listen to every bit of it, because knowledge was power, so they tiptoed closer to the studio's closed door, knowing they could leave safely when Master finished his journaling.

"The list I keep track of its traits on is growing longer" He said with a note of frustration in his voice. "But no matter what I take from it, it seems to be just an inch deeper than I can reach. I have forbidden it from speaking Spanish, from singing, from stargazing and playing the piano. Yet, without the chemicals, I cannot reach further into its mind. It's time to reevaluate the plan and maybe draw another route."

Rat mentally took note of every word they heard, each one of them feeling like knives in their chest. Their shoulders were heavy, as knowledge was also a burden. What were them even taking notes for? It had been a long time since they had forgotten about their reasons to listen to Master's entries. Why, they wondered, should they keep holding on so tightly? What exactly were they trying to find out?

Everything Master said, plus Rat's feelings and memories, suggested that maybe they were someone worth remembering. Was it really worth it, though? Was the torture worth it? Their head hurt and spinned with so many questions and apprehensions, and Rat decided it was time to retreat.

A heartbeat too late, Rat realized they had tripped in something they shouldn't even touch: an antient chinese vase that costed half the manor's value. The shattering was so loud that everything went completely silent for a moment afterwards. They didn't hear Master's raging steps nor the door furiously opening. Their mind could only focus on the fear. Rat would be heavily punished for braking the vase, it was obvious, but would Master realize they were eavesdropping? Worse yet, would he realize they had been doing it for a while, now?

Over again, the man grabbed Rat's hair and shouted so loudly that their ears rang, unable to process the infuriated words. When they didn't reply, he threw Rat hard on the ground, on the scattered shards. It hurt like hell, they tried to get up, or at least remove some of the smithereens from under their body, but it was fruitless. Before they could even move, Master had already taken off his belt to beat them up.

He rose his voice more and more as the leather tore Rat's skin apart. They wish they could make his words make sense, but everything was nothing but a blur. Their hearing, their sight, everything felt like they were underwater. The only thing they could objectively feel was the pain, the hot blood dripping from every new wound. An eternity later, they were able gather themself together enough to articulate their own words.

"I'm sorry!!" They screamed desperately. "Please, have mercy! Please, Master, I am so sorry!!"

"Oh, now you are sorry?" He panted, not even close to finish the punishment. Rat felt the leather bruise their skin again before he continued. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry I broke your vase, Master! I know it was-"

Rat's voice failed them as Master hit them particularly hard, their words swallowing themselves in a yelp.

"You still think you are smarter than me, you filthy rat?!"

"No I don't!!" They knew they were screwed. And for what? For information they didn't even know how to use? How could they even think it would be worth it? "I am not!! I was just curious! I don't even know why I eavesdropped! Please, Master!"

"SHUT IT!" Once again, Rat's ears throbbed distressingly.

Master kept hitting them, his strenght seeming to increase instead of reducing. Rat tried to escape the belt, resulting in more shards stabbing their body. Even if they had been given the luxury of wearing clothes, they would be totally torn apart at that point.

"Please, Master!!" It was pointless to try, but Rat could not think straight anymore, nor hold back their begging. They would do anything for the agony to stop. "Please, I'm so sorry!"

A lifetime ago, they were sure someone was coming to save them. Someone would hold them tight and promise it would be alright. It felt like a ridiculous thought, right now, but if there was anyone looking for them, it would be the perfect time for this person to arrive.

"Please! Please!! Help!!" They called anguishedly, reaching for the depths of their heart. "ALLEN, HELP ME!!!"

The world stopped spinning for an eternal second. Master's hand halted above his head as his fierce eyes became cold. Black holes, Rat made this comparison once. The antecipation hurt even more than the belt. They had messed up badly this time.

The worst part was that they couldn't even fully remember who Allen was. The name slipped out their tongue so naturally, they knew it was someone more than important. Rat missed Allen so much, knowning somewhere deep down that he would protect them if he was there.

But there was only Master.

"What did you say...?" He whispered as he knelt down, and Rat's body ran cold under his breath.

"I-I don't know..." They trembled violently, too frightened to move. "I don't know, Master... please..."

His eyes shone, and Rat knew he would do his best to crush every bit of their soul. There was only one thing they could do to save themself now, because Allen could not. Nobody would.

"TAKE IT AWAY!" They pleaded, and the man paused once again, his interest piqued. "I don't want to wait for him anymore! I can't stand it! I know you're trying to erase my mind in order to turn me into a good pet! I've been resisting, but... I can't stand it anymore!"

As many times before, Rat didn't know how close to the truth those words were. Was it for real, or were they just saying the necessary to survive? Nonetheless, they had done this enough times to know that, eventually, it would become true.

"Condition me..." They begged, sobbing. "Make me a good pet, Master, please... I can't fight anymore... I surrender... I'm so tired..."

For the first time, Rat's words made him stop and think. It was so ironic. The only time they succeeded in negotiating with that man was when they gave up.

Without a word, he once again grabbed Rat by their scalp and dragged them down the hallways to the door that led outside. Helpless and exausted, they didn't even try standing up this time. They felt their thin locks give in under Master's hand as them both reached the yard.

November was so cold, so cold. Rat would trade anything for the excuse of a blanket they left in the basement. The man threw them against the wall and, when Rat reached the gound, he locked the chain attached on the bricks on their collar.

Rat tried to curl themself in a ball, shivering intensely. The blood still dripping on the grass felt even colder, now.

Master reached out and touched Rat's face, forcing them to look up. They leaned against his hand, not because his touch was gentle, but because it was warm, and it was the least violent of the entire day. It didn't last, as he pulled away and went back into the house.

The wind made it difficult for Rat to listen to his steps. They preceived he went to his room, which at that time of the day meant he went after his suitcase. Good news: he would come back and probably Rat wouldn't be left out in the cold. Bad news: he went after the suitcase.

When Master got back, he had the much hated muzzle in his hands. He put it on Rat and tightened it a little bit too much. They whimpered, lowering their head. The man, however, forced them to look up, lifting their chin, and his low voice was even more wintry then the end of the autumn.

"I'll let you think about what happened today. You can reflect on your behavior and decide if you will finally be a good pet for me, alright? I'll be back to retrieve you by dinner time, but you'll keep the muzzle for fifteen days. I'll get it out so you can eat every once in a while, when I feel generous, not because you deserve it. You are just a filthy rat and you should be grateful I am giving you the chance of being my pet. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Rat nodded vehemently, desperate. Dinner time was too far away! According to the position of the sun on the sky, it was still... no. A good pet should not know how to use the sun to tell the time, much less complain.

"In two weeks I will decide if you have learned your lesson. If you blow it one more time, I will not hesitate, do you understand? I am giving you one more chance because I have invested a lot on you already, but I can always discard you and find a better pet."

Once again Rat nodded. Master ruffled their sore head and got up on his feet. "I'll see you in a few hours" he said before disappearing into the manor.

Alone with their thoughts, Rat finally came to a conlusion they had been avoiding for too long: nobody would come for them and they had no way to fight alone. There was nothing they could do to survive but complying to the experiment they knew they were. They knew they had been someone before, but it was time to surrender and truly forget about what once was.

No more music. No more stars. No more wondering. No more Allen. From now on, Rat would focus solely on being the perfect pet. Letting go of their past was the right choice, they knew. Winter was comming and they could only hope the snow would wash away everything Master couldn't reach.

Just let go. There's no use fighting. Rat would no more dream about someone else's arms around them. Now, their only wish was for Master's embrace. When they became the perfect pet, he would finally hug them and praise them. He would tell them his efforts were paid off and would never beat them up again. This... would be perfect. Yes, there was nothing Rat wished more than that.

With this sweet daydream, they let everything else behind, on the other side of those walls.

It would be over soon.

#whumpblr #whump #bbu oc #bbu whump #pet whump #bbu #pet whumpee #Noelle Keyland #After the Summer #institutionalized slavery

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panstardalia · 9 months

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It's been I while since my last post. I was in a family trip, and my hotels had bathtubes! Now see, I never had a bathtub at home, so obviously I decided to try it out.

NOW HEAR ME OUT.

Reading whump in a bathtub made me feel like A PRINCESS. I SWEAR. It was SO AMAZING. The only things that could have made this experience even better were some candles and maybe some flower petals.

If you have a bathtub in your house and never read whump in it... please do. Dália's life advice.

Read whump in the bathtub.

#whump #whumpblr #whump in the bathtub #I read whump in the bathtub and felt like a princess #It was one of the best experiences of my life #Please give me a bathtub so I can do it again

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panstardalia · 9 months

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me when i realize my silly whump daydreams aren't going to manifest out of thin air so i actually need to write

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panstardalia · 10 months

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Make your Whumpee struggle against their bonds. Make them struggle so hard the rope/chains/etc cut into their skin. Make their wrists bleed!

Also, gag them so thoroughly that they could barely breathe. Listen to their cries being muffled. Listen to them screaming through the gag. Listen to their muffled whimpers!

That is all.

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panstardalia · 10 months

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After the Summer Masterlist

Sinopsis: After being sold to the WRU, trained as a pet and then rescued by their family, Noelle has to relearn how to be human once again. Memories from when they were just a Filthy Rat flood their brain everyday, preventing them from recovering, and hope relies on a furtherer past yet to be remembered.

Started: May 31th, 2023

Last updated: September 5th, 2023

Total works: 6

Main Story

Belongings

Outsmart

Firefly

Method

Tea Party

What you deserve

#whumpblr #whump #masterpost #pet whump #bbu oc #bbu whump #bbu #Noelle Keyland #After the Summer

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panstardalia · 10 months

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After the Summer #3: Firefly

Masterlist: here!

Content: institutionalized slavery; pet whump; whipping (barely mentioned); scars (barely mentioned); trauma; once again, just a former pet in the recovering process.

The thick book in Noelle's hand felt too valuable to be handled carelessly, but even so, as it had been happening, their hands failed them. The volume fell to the ground with a sound that rang in Noelle's ears like battle drums anouncing a massacre. Every possible punishment ran through their mind while they waited for Master to come, imagining if it was worth it trying an apology. Master despised Rat's voice so much that talking would always be too risky.

No matter how much Rat tried, they were never the perfect pet. Not even a good pet. Because good pets care about making their masters happy, only, and nothing else. But not Rat. Instead, there was always this empty space in their chest yearning for something, making wishes Rat was not allowed to wish. They didn't know what it was, but it was keeping them from being good for Master.

The safe choice it was, then, the silent route. Rat knelt down beside the book, touching the carpet with their forehead in respect. They would wait beside their mistake, assume how bad of a pet they were and hope Master would be in a mood mild enough to be satisfied with maybe some whipping. Rat would be ok. Rat would be ok.

"Noelle?" called a voice that definitely wasn't Master's. Of course not, Master's voice was not that sweet. "Hey, Noelle, raise your head... you are safe."

Oh, right. They were not Rat, the pet, anymore. They were Noelle, the person. And Noelle the person was not punished for their flaws. Noelle the person lived with the Summerbreeze siblings, Miss Lily and Allen, the two most tender and merciful people in the world.

So they obeyed, trying to get rid of the stubborn tears that insisted in showing up. Before them there was not a hostile and terrifying master. Rather than that, Noelle saw Allen Walker's worried yet warm smile. His eyes shone with a certain grief that has awlays been there.

"Look around." he asked, kneeling down slowly. "Can you tell me where you are?"

"Miss Lily's house." Noelle answered with a whisper. "Miss Lily's bedroom."

"Yes. See? You are safe and sound. So please..."

Allen's voice failed him. Noelle's shame on themself started growing on their chest as soon as they noticed how they have hurt him again by having another relapse.

It's been weeks since they left Master's grasp. They were supposed to be better now, but they kept going back to that manor! Noelle couldn't let such little things drag them back to that place. They had to stop making things so difficult for Miss Lily, Allen and the others.

"I'm so sorry..." Noelle raised their body, still kneeling on the ground, and Miss Lily's advice came back to them. After these episodes, Noelle was supposed to understand the trigger in order to better handle it next time. So they took a deep breath and muttered "I dropped this book. It is silly, I know, but... it looks so old and important... Master, he... he had lots of priceless books. I couldn't even touch them with bare hands..."

"It is not silly, Noelle." Allen's sad grin brought the last piece of Noelle's soul back to the present. "You did so great right now. You are right here with me. Not there. Here. Now... let's get up, shall we?"

He got up off the ground and offered his hand. Noelle felt their cheeks burn before taking the book carefully and accepting Allen's help. It was just that... no matter how kind and worried Allen seemed to feel around Noelle, it always felt like he avoided touching them longer than the necessary, so it was nice when he did touch them.

The sad part was... the others had started touching them a while ago. Des and Oliver enjoyed ruffling Noelle's hair and hugging them by the shoulders. Miss Lily would reach out to their face and wipe their tears so gently. Victor rarely touched anyone but Oliver willingly, but sometimes he would just put his hand on Noelle's shoulder for a second and it would be enough.

But Allen's warmth was different. It was Noelle's favorite. Everything about Allen Walker was Noelle's favorite. They had no memories from the past yet, the life before Master sometimes felt like a lie. But Allen felt real.

And this is why it hurt when he let Noelle's hand go.

"You are right. This book is important." He said, and then he hesitated. "Maybe it is time to show you why."

Noelle let themself look at the hard cover. The black leather had pretty golden letters carved on it, saying simply "The Firefly Family".

"Who is the Firefly Family?" Noelle couldn't help but ask.

"We are." Allen's voice had a note of pride. "Let's go to the living room... Lily will be out for some more hours... we have enough time to go through the album."

The both of them left Miss Lily's bedroom and sat down on the couch. Noelle tried to hand the book to Allen, but he refused. "This is yours. We would have put it in your Belongings Box, but... we didn't want to force this on you. But you found it for a reason. Maybe... maybe Lily let you clean up her room already expecting you would find it."

"She never makes a move without planning every little step." Noelle agreed, looking at the leather cover as if it would come to life and answer every question of theirs. "You said it was an album. Are my... are my memories in these pages?"

"Some of them... the happier ones." Allen pressed his lips. "If you don't feel ready, we don't need to rush... there is always tomorrow."

But Noelle didn't want to do it tomorrow. They had just allowed themself to want things and did not plan on stopping now. But the others wanted a lot of things as well, and Noelle could see that despite their patience, they wanted them to go back to being someone they didn't even remember.

Des and Miss Lily explained in full detail how the chemistry Master used to suppress their memories affected their brain. "It can take years for you to recover everything. Maybe you don't even recover everything." Miss Lily said that day. But that album could at least be a guide to the person Noelle was supposed to be.

So they once again took a deep breath and opened the book. The first page had a single picture with sentences written in various colors on the page around it, the bigger of them on the top saying "The Ohio Crew". The picture was so pretty: it showed Noelle's friends around a plaque that said "SUMMER CAMP FIREFLY". Noelle was there too, laughing while hugging Des and Allen with both arms. Victor must have tried looking serious, but the camera got the moment when Oliver grabbed him from behind, frightening the poor boy. Miss Lily had her knees on the grass and had a shirt with the Firefly logo over the long summer dress. Her elegant smile had a hint of a laughter, but she clearly tried to look calm for the picture.

All of them looked younger, a year or two maybe. Noelle never thought about having attended a summer camp. It felt so fun, so normal, and so...

The sentences around the picture quickly got Noelle's attention.

"They can be losers, but they are MY losers (except for Miss Lily, she is not a loser, she is an angel)"

"This camp was not that bad"

"This is my first family, but I'll cherish all of you in my heart."

"Couldn't wait till next summer"

"Thank you for the amazing summer! You are all responsible for me, now."

"If friendship is magic, you all turned me into the most powerful witch (and I'm using this power to create chaos)"

Noelle took their time reading the sentences and trying to guess who wrote each of them. The first one was obviously Des'; she was always saying how Miss Lily was better than anyone, calling her the prettiest things even in languages Noelle didn't understand. The red one had to be Victor's, no further explanation needed. But the other ones were more difficult to place.

Allen's finger pointed to the picture, right above Noelle's smile, as he said "You were so happy that day. We all were. It was the day we agreed to come back to Ohio as a family... since all of us, except for Oliver, have no-" he interrupted himself.

It clicked. It's been almost two months and no one came to see Noelle. They... had parents, right? Everyone has biological parents. Where... where were theirs?

"Allen... do I have a biological family? Is... is anyone looking for me?"

"Noelle..."

"Don't." they decided suddenly. "Not... not now. I'm sorry. I wanna focus on these happy memories... please, I need happy memories."

"I'm sorry", Allen whispered. "Noelle, I swear... you are so loved. There were so many people looking for you, they were all so happy when we told them we found you... and I promise we'll take you to them once is safe for you out there."

The burns on Noelle's neck felt ichy and uncomfortable; a constant reminder they were less than human. They felt cold run down their spine as they shook away the tears and said:

"I will see the next pictures now."

The following pages had from two to four photos each, and each one of them led Noelle to a confusing journey through a past that felt like it was someone else's, but also something they wanted so bad. They saw Miss Lily on her first day as a monitor in Camp Firefly. It was also Noelle's first day as a camper.

"You two were the first ones." Allen explained. "The rest of us came the year after that."

Through the paper, Noelle met other friends from the summer camp. There was this guy with blond hair and sleepy eyes, and he would never be in a picture without the twins who smiled proudly. Noelle visited the day the four of them earned the right to swim in the lake and showed their green bracelets to the camera. Another photo exhibited Miss Lily with a red bracelet, which meant she could not go deep in the water. She didn't know how to swim, according to Allen.

"The twins like to remind her she grew up in an archipelago." Allen let out a little laughter. "But so did I, and my bracelet was yellow. I think it is not that relevant where you were raised."

Soon they reached the photos with familiar faces on them. Noelle had changed glasses between year one and year two, and Miss Lily's hair grew even longer. Des and Victor were the first ones to join them in the pictures, Allen and Oliver next. Some other people also smiled at the camera in various pictures, and Allen explained each one of them patiently.

"This was the day when we won Capture the Flag thanks to Des. And this was the day Oliver made something explode for the first time. I think it was a pan..." he recalled, unable to avoid grinning at the memories. "This... was the day you and Elliot turned the fireplace into a stage for your Broadway performances."

Noelle didn't remember this Elliot guy, but they could imagine a free version of themself singing by the fire. Music felt distant, but reachable. Noelle could not recall the last time they sang anything... yet they wanted to.

"What about this one...? Why is it so blurry?" They asked, poiting at another picture.

"Oh, this was the day I- I mean, this was the day I realized you were dangerous." Allen foundly laughted. "You came up with an operation to steal mashed potatoes from the kitchen. It is blurry because this is actually you running full speed with maybe a whole kilo of mashed potatoes in your arms."

It made some sense. Noelle did love mashed potatoes. But stealing from the kitchen? It sounded so forbiden and punishable.

"Did anyone find out?" they asked.

"Oh they did. You couldn't avoid all the cameras. And you got yourself a whole week of dish duties... but you said it was worth it since you got to eat everything before they got to you."

Doing dishes for a week sounded like Heaven. Not that Noelle enjoyed doing dishes, but in the manor, Master would not forgive stealing food twice. The scars were still on their skin to prove it. But prior to that, Noelle had stolen a kilo of mashed potatoes just because, and their punishment was... doing dishes.

It was definitely another life.

"The day Lily adopted me." Allen smiled even more as they reached the picture of the two of them holding the certificate. Their younger versions were so emotive, both of them laughing and crying at the same time as they tried to decide between hugging or showing the paper to the camera.

"So you two aren't biological siblings." Noelle said with surprise. "Everytime she calls you little brother makes me wonder if you two are related by blood. You look so different, but you act and sound the same."

"My biological family abandoned me..." he explained, his smile still warm as always. "Hers did so too. I came to the USA as an illegal... but thanks to her, now I have a home and a family... I will never be able to thank her enough."

His tenderness made Noelle think about their own blood family once again. Despite being so mature and elegant, Miss Lily was not that old. She was actually just a few years older than the others, Noelle doubted she was older than twenty five. And a bunch of teenagers were not the same as having a parental figure.

Imagining the care from a mother was painful, and Noelle really wanted to focus on the happy memories, so they shoved these thoughts away in the depths of their mind and started turning pages. They felt Allen tense beside them as the pictures got visible. He snatched the album from Noelle's hands, but he had been too slow. Noelle saw what he tried to hide.

Well, almost.

But it was a whole page of just the two of them. There were little hearts drawn on the paper, and they could swear they were really close in the last photo. It really looked like they were kissing.

Now, Noelle wasn't that dense. They knew there was something between them both, but how the hell would they adress this matter to a boy that acted as if he was afraid of breaking Noelle with a blow? Besides, they had no way of knowing if it was a romantic feeling! They had no prior experience with any relationship other than Master/pet.

There had always been a little voice, since the rescue, saying that Allen's reasons to act like this was something bad. Maybe he didn't like Noelle, maybe Noelle owned him something, or maybe Noelle had hurt him sometime in the past. They couldn't bring themself to imagine it would be something like Allen's heart aching like theirs whenever they were next to each other. Asking the others about all of this was out of question.

But that album did have answers.

Nevertheless, Noelle needed them said out loud as well.

"We were-" they didn't finish the sentence. They didn't know what they were going to say anyway. They were feeling so much, but they were so recently allowed speaking. How to phrase so many complicated thoughts and desires?

The silence weighted tons over the couch.

"I didn't want you to know because I didn't want to pressure you." Allen said after a small eternity. He didn't bear to look at Noelle as he continued "I know you have been trying your best... I know you already feel pressured to recover your memories. I have seen you... asking questions to your belongings, trying to get some answers. You are so frustrated... I just... you don't deserve to force yourself to-"

He was about to cry, but for the first time, Noelle did not think about what he expected them to do or what they would have done in their past life. Instead, they let their head fall on Allen's shoulder and closed their eyes.

"This is a relief..." they whispered. "I was wondering if you secretly hated me. It turns out you... you miss me, right?"

"I do." he whispered back, and his body trembled from his crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the feelings from the past year broke slowly through the dam. "I miss you everyday, Noelle. The day you asked me out was so happy. You are here with me, but you don't remember dancing in the rain with me, nor singing for me on our tree."

"We used to sneak out the dorms at night to play, didn't we?"

Allen finally looked at Noelle, atonished. He had not told them that.

"I remembered this on the day you gave my kalimba back." Noelle went on. "I don't really remember... it is more like a concept. The breeze, the height, the sound... the feeling of our arms touching while I played. I was not sure it was real a memory... but it was, right?"

Allen sobbed, hiding his face in his hands. Noelle kept their head on his shoulder, feeling their own tears falling at last. They reached out for his arm and enlaced it with their own.

The both of them stayed like that for a while. They cried together, quietly, as months of longing and yearning came over them like a flood. Allen held Noelle against him and they were not surprised by how they fit inside his hug. As they already knew, his arms felt like home.

"When I was in the manor..." they finally said "I knew something was off. I tried so, so hard to be a good pet. To serve and adore my master. To feel nothing but the desire to make him happy. But there was always this hole. I told myself I was bad, I had to be satisfied, but I kept looking for something. I was never fully his."

Allen's grasp became a little stronger. He was there. Months of searching were over now that Noelle understood what they were looking for. They did not intend to be taken away once more and give up the feeling of being found. They would not lose Allen again.

"I miss you too."

#bbu #whumpblr #whump #whump scenario #bbu whump #bbu oc #pet whump #pet whumpee #Noelle Keyland #After the Summer

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panstardalia · 10 months

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I'm not really active since I don't really understand how Tumblr works but I found out I love it here and I would love to go back in time and tell my pre teen version that it is ok to feel tickles in the stomach when reading whump hihihihi

[ID: The sad/happy meme template. Text beside the image of a person crying reads, “ten year old me thinking I was evil for liking whump.” Text beside the image of a person grinning reads, “me now with an active whump blog engaging with the whump community on tumblr.” End ID.]

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panstardalia · 11 months

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I had this mindset for a long time. He cannot cry, he cannot show emotions, he is strong and invincible! But BOOOY the first time I decided to write him crying was SO AMAZING. I felt like a dam had opened in my chest because MY BOY DESERVED TO CRY.

And let's agree in one thing here: a whumpee crying is beautiful, but a defiant whumpee crying is just something else.

hey you, a defiant whumpee can cry. I know you don’t want your writing to be out of character for them and you’re worried that having them cry or break down might be out of character, but believe me, it’s not out of character for someone who’s been pushed beyond their limits to eventually break down. I know they’re supposed to be prideful and defiant, but thing is: eventually we all have a breaking point.

actually, having your defiant whumpee break down when they can no longer take it does make your work a dozen times more angsty and realistic. because yeah, no matter how strong or invincible someone is, they can only take so much before it becomes too much.

so yes, you can have your readers at the edge of their seats by spicing up your chapter this way. character A, who had never showed a hint of emotion, curling up into a ball on the floor and crying after they can no longer take the pain? OH MY GOD I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. YOU GOT ME HOOKED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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panstardalia · 11 months

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After the Summer #2: Outsmart

Masterlist: here!

Content: bbu, pet whump, minor whumpee, creepy whumper, physical torture (implied), s/a (very implied), forced submission, starvation.

It had been an entire week since Noelle was scammed by their own ex and kidnapped by the WRU, but under the circumstances, they thought they couldn't be luckier. I mean, come on, Noelle was not stupid! They didn't know everything about the WRU, but they did know more or less how they worked, thanks to their father. And even though Noelle felt terrified and helpless, they still had a chance to escape because they were not in a facility. No. Rather than that, Noelle was lucky enough to be taken directly to the scary handler's basement.

The handler's name was unknown; he wanted do be called Master. Apparently he wanted to try a new conditioning method at home and "make his own pet". Even with their good hearing, Noelle could not hear enough to comprehend more than that, but it was enough to kind of formulate a escape plan.

During the past week, Noelle had been tortured and humiliated, and they knew it was just the beggining; the burns on their neck still hurt under the shock collar, the bruises from the baton were almost black on their fair skin, and their shivering body was begging to be let out of that hard crate, let off the muzzle and the cuffs on their wrists and ankles and have some real food. But there were no guards in the house to keep them from running away.

An entire childhood of watching movies and reading books led Noelle to a very simple plan: lay low, play pretend, earn the creepy guy's trust and escape silently in the first opportunity. They had to be fast and carry out the plan before the brainwash part of the training, or the chances would drop down below zero. So while under the handler's gaze, Noelle would be a good pet and make effort to make the smallest possible amount of mistakes (calling him "disgusting sick pedophile" was not a good start). However, when alone, it was time to make sure they would never forget about who they were or what they lived for.

"My name is Noelle Keyland, I'm seventeen yers old." they thought, hands pressed on their chest, trying not to think about the freezing cold. "I have a father called Benjamin, a loving boyfriend called Allen and lots of friends called Des; Lily; Oliver; Victor; Bruce and Ângelo. I will keep my head down and escape this nightmare. Shade Michells is my ex boyfriend and he sold me out after our last fight. I need to find him and make him pay."

Never, even in a million years, Noelle thought their ex would be capable of something so hideous as faking their signature to sell them as a slave! The relationship between the two of them had ended harshly, but Noelle used to believe Shade was a minimally decent human being that could overcome rejection without harming any human right.

The sound of footsteps almost startled Noelle, but their unusually good hearing was able to detect sounds from further than most people could. The antecipation was torture, though. The creepy man (Master, don't forget) entered the cold basement carrying a heavy looking suitcase and put it on a table before opening the crate. Even with their limbs begging for stretching, Noelle waited for the man to say the order and just then they crawled out, keeping their eyes on the fancy shoes before them.

"Respect." the handler commanded, and Noelle touched the floor with their forehead. They could only listen to the footsteps going toward the table. The suitcase being opened. He taking something from it. He returning. "Let's begin, Filthy Rat."

Two more weeks went by and Noelle was starting to go insane. How could a man kidnap their mind like that?? They had started feeling grateful for crumbs and a small piece of cloth that Master called a blanket. They stopped thinking about the positions he taught them and just obeyed automatically. But the last drop was when he touched their head and Noelle leaned toward his hand!! They felt dirty. Cold, hungry, violated and in pain, Noelle could only hope Allen would not feel disgusted by them after they break free.

But the day had come and everything would become a distant nightmare soon.

For the first time, Noelle was allowed out of the basement. Working for Master's trust was hard: they would respond to their new name - Rat - and say please and thank you whenever it was appropriate. It was easy to learn those things when you are trying not to be punished and keep yourself strong enough to run. Now, a reward: Noelle would have the chance to go to the kitchen and make dinner with the promise to be allowed to eat anything Master leaves behind. It was loathsome to feel greatful for it as well.

With silent footsteps, Noelle tried their best not to stumble on the chains of their ankle cuffs while following Master upstairs. They glanced discreetly around the house, trying to keep track of all the potential exits. The cuffs would make it difficult to jump out of the window, but not impossible.

With Master's orientation (and a couple of mild shocks that made Noelle's eyes water and their body scream in pain) the dinner was ready. The man seemed pleased when he didn't have to tell Noelle what to do next: they served the dish and knelt down next to the table. They just had to play pretend for some more minutes and wait for the perfect chance. Just ignore the stomach growls, just keep watchful. It was almost over.

When they were sure their knees could not take it anymore, Master got up and put the plate on the floor, taking Noelle's muzzle off right away. "Here, you can eat. You deserve it."

Noelle almost forgot to thank him before leaning down and eating the ridiculously small amount of food he left. The clock was ticking and they could only hope he wouldn't realize they were trembling not only because of the cold and the pain, but mostly because of the anxiety and the fear. In less than five minutes, Master said "now clean this up. I will wait for you in the living room."

With their heart threatening to jump out of the chest, Noelle obeyed. They got up with the plate and stumbled before regaining balance. They would be left alone. They would escape.

While heading to the sink, though, Noelle's hopes were shattered. Master did get out, but his footsteps stopped right after he left their field of view. It was a test. Of course it was a test! Fuck, it was obvious that it would not be that easy.

Ok, no panic. If it was a test, Noelle was going to ace it. They did the dishes as quick as they could with their hands cuffed and then followed through the corridor. Master made his way to the living room right in front of Noelle. He didn't know they could hear him.

"There you are, Rat." he sounded satisfied, relaxed on the couch as if he wasn't torturing a teenager. "It looks like you are a fast learner, after all."

"Thank you, Master."

"It looks like you do deserve a better reward. Come here, I will let you lie down with me for a while before going back to your crate."

"Thank you a lot, Master." Noelle felt disgusted by how soft their voice sounded. They wanted to shout and cry, to punch that man in the face, kick his balls and run, they wanted their boyfriend to hug them and tell them it was just a nightmare. But they had to be strong just a little while longer. So they approached the couch and sat down beside Master.

The man's hand on their shoulder felt heavy and rough. He pulled them close and put their head on his lap, then turned on the TV and kept like this, holding Noelle against his legs.

The fear was overwhelming. The door was right there! Master's hand was big and felt like a ton over Noelle's body. He was silent, eyes on the screen, while the teenager on his lap margined a panic attack. If they lost that chance, who knows when they would be able to try again?

An eternity later, someone heard Noelle's prayers. Master fell asleep, snoring quietly with his head against the couch's back. Noelle had never been so slow and cautious while getting up. They sat up painstakingly, thinking of all the excuses they could come up with in case the man woke up.

He didn't. Even when they left the couch.

Noelle tiptoed their way to the furthest room and took a pick inside. Bingo! There was a window leading outside! With the heart racing as fast as a war airplane, they locked the door behind them and tested the window. Open. Oh god it was now or never.

Using the last bit of strength in their arms, Noelle sat on the window sill and threw their legs over to the other side. It was so cold, the wind felt like daggers on their bare skin, but there was no time to waste. Noelle landed on the grass and walked as fast as the chains would allow them.

Knowing they couldn't make it far, Noelle planned on finding somewhere to stay until they could find out exactly where they were. Hiding in plain sight has always been their specialty. But there were no trees to climb, the yard was huge and the walls were too high to scale. Nowhere to hide. They would leave through the main gate and hope the dark night hides them from people.

On their tiptoes, Noelle went around the house and saw the closed gate. It looked climbable and they did not hesitate running towards it. They were almost there!

And then the shock collar acted out.

The pain was such that Noelle couldn't even scream. They fell down, face on the grass, looking for something to hold onto, unsuccessfully. Master took his time walking toward Noelle, then grabed them by the hair and forced them to raise their had.

"I must admit. For a filthy little rat, you are kind of smart." his dark eyes were like black holes, stealing the life and the hopes from Noelle, leaving only terror behind. "But I hope this is enough for you to understand that you cannot escape me. You can never outsmart me. You are just a rat."

Of course the test went on. Of course he wasn't asleep! How could Noelle be so naive?!

"P-please...!" they cried. "I won't do it again...! Please have mercy!"

Noelle didn't know if they were telling the truth or not. They would not be able to decide on the spot it they were going to try again or if they would rather accept their fate. No. The only thing they could think of was not being punished again, please. They couldn't take it anymore! Please, no more violence, no more abusing, please!

"Oh, my sweet little rat..." Master's voice was so soft that Noelle almost missed the sadistic note behind the deep chuckle. Soon they would get familiar with that tone; the tone Master would use when the punishment was fun to him. "I will make sure you don't try anything like this again."

#whumpblr #whump #pet whump #pet whumpee #bbu whump #bbu oc #Noelle Keyland #After the Summer

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