pansexualkiba
Dabi Fancam Account
23 |Trans Girl | She/Her Pronouns | Pansexual | Likes: A lot | Dislikes: not much!! | kinkshamer EX | God of Chaos and Flowers
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rubythecrimsonwriter
The Russian Roulette of Fandom
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When ogres travel, they do so in human shape.
They hate doing this. They think it’s beneath them. But they do it anyway.
The Vicomte Graoul de Saucisson – and this is another thing about ogres. Ogres as a species are nobility. There is no such thing as a low-born ogre. There is always room in the ogrish peerage for another vicomte, another prince, another branch to tie to the rotted tree – strode up to the chateau in human shape. The roses in the garden shivered as he passed by. The huge, high doors opened by themselves and he walked through them without a shift in his stride.
When the doors slammed shut behind him, he moved to shrug the shape off his shoulders like a coat.
Then he saw the woman.
He froze. He stared. She stared back.
He slowly pulled the shape back on. “Who are you?” he asked.
She looked mildly appalled. “Who are you?” she asked. “What are you doing in my home?”
“Your home? This is–” He stopped. He reconsidered. “I am the Vicomte de Saucisson,” he said. “I’m looking for the Marquis de Pamplemousse. He is a… colleague of mine.”
“Oh,” she said. She could’ve looked more abashed. “I’m sorry, monsieur, he’s never mentioned you before. You must be here to share your congratulations, of course, I can fetch him right away.”
“He’s never mentioned you either,” the vicomte did not say. “Of course,” he said. “Congratulations. What about?”
She seemed surprised. “Have you not heard? Monsieur, the curse on my husband has been lifted.”
He stared. His lips started to form the words “What curse,” and then there was a sound like a horse falling down a set of stairs and a man he had never seen before wearing the marquis’s clothes came barrelling down the hall.
“Vicomte!” said the man with the marquis’s voice. “My human friend! The curse has been lifted, and I am a human once again!”
He was slightly out of breath when he reached the woman. He clasped her arm and grinned at him with manic desperation. “This is wonderful news! You must be here to share your congratulations!”
“Lie like hell,” said the man’s eyes.
The vicomte stared. “Oh!” he said. “My – human friend! Human once again! Words fail me. After all these–” (there was the slightest hesitation) “–years?”
The woman put her head at an angle and narrowed her eyes at him.
The man walked up, still grinning like a rictus chimpanzee, and clasped a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, of course! Darling, me and the vicomte are going to have a manly one-on-one conversation while he shares his congratulations, as we human men are wont to do.” And then with a strength that could only be ogrish, the marquis pulled the vicomte by the shoulder down the hall and into a drawing room.
When the bolt of the lock clicked into place behind them, the man wearing the marquis’s clothes visibly sagged.
“What the hell,” said the vicomte.
“You should’ve sent word ahead that you'd be coming today.”
“I never do.” He gesticulated and tried to conjure a single question out of the swarm buzzing in his brain. “What the hell is going on? Who was that? Why are you pretending to be human? What curse are we talking about?”
The marquis groaned and crumpled into a chair. As he did he shifted out of human shape, clothes magically tailoring themselves to contain his ogrish form, something like a moose crossed with a wolf.
“I had a moment of weakness.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a stroke?”
“I got married.”
“And that’s another thing–”
“Graoul, please.” He sighed and put his face in his talons. “Last winter a merchant broke into my home. He stole one of my roses, and in exchange I asked him to send me one of his daughters to be my bride.”
The vicomte nodded. This at least was a sacred and recognizable ogrish custom, and he did like to see the old ways in practice.
“And it was fine! It was perfectly lovely. She’s a wonderful woman, but one night I decided to put on a human shape to change things up in the bedroom, and she lost her mind! Started talking about how I was clearly an enchanted prince and that her love for me must’ve broken some curse and turned me human again! I had no idea how to tell her otherwise, and now I’ve done it for too long to back out.”
The vicomte stared. “Sorry,” he said. “You decided to turn into a human to spice things up in the bedroom, and that was the face you chose?”
The marquis growled. “If I knew I was going to be wearing it for the rest of my life I would’ve gone with something better.”
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I just want to say I really loved how much Laios stood up for Marcille this week. He really said I'm not about to let y'all shit all over my friend for doing what she could to save someone we all care about. I'm not about to let y'all shame her for her talent and genius. I'm not about to let her hard work go unacknowledged while the rest of you wouldn't ever have the balls to do what she did. Because unlike all of you she isn't a little bitch. It was beautiful man.
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chat how blasphemous is it to say "i want to get nailed harder than jesus"
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It just makes a lot of sense why Marcille and Laios would be good friends, really, because Marcille Will Tell You What Is On Her Mind. If she doesn't like something, she throws a tantrum. If she's down to clown, she clowns like a champ. If she has an opinion, she voices it clearly and concisely. Laios knows exactly where Marcille stands in pretty much every topic.
On Marcille's end, she's down to clown more than people give her credit for. Laios said "yo let's play with these bones and rearrange them in funny ways" and Marcille joined right in. Like, yeah, she'll want to bonk his skull in sometimes, but aside from the monster and dungeon fascination, she's pretty much in the same wavelength as Laios when it comes to most things.
Which is cool! Because they could've made them hostile siblings in law but they are besties actually.
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in light of police across the country cracking down on pro palestine protests with brutal force, it feels like a great time to remind everyone to shut the fuck up around cops. don't make small talk, dont act friendly, don't fucking engage with them!! if you are arrested DO NOT speak without a lawyer present. protest organizers, get into contact with local pro bono lawyers who can be there for your arrested comrades. no matter what, if cops are there, shut the fuck up unless you are actively doing a protest chant. dont tell cops why you were there, dont tell them if you're affiliated with the school you may be protesting at, dont tell them if you came there with anyone, dont tell them anything!!!
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Finally watched the Addams Family Values recently! and honestly. my main takeaway is
Debbie slays. And Joan Cusack is a QUEEN
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when my dad was a freshman or sophomore in high school he took a speech class and on the first day the teacher was reading off the roster and said “[surname redacted], where is that from?”
and my dad just impulsively replied in a thick accent with broken English and said “Latvia, sir”
the other kids started laughing and the teacher snapped at them for being cruel bullies and xenophobes, they should have more kindness and sympathy towards the poor little Latvian boy freshly escaped from the USSR….. and then my dad knew he was trapped in his stupid ruse and would have to play the part indefinitely.
it went on for nearly the whole semester, during which he gradually improved his English just enough for the teacher to notice but not to grow suspicious. no one ratted him out.
it wasn’t until the very end of the semester that it all came crashing down—my dad’s speech teacher was in the staff lounge, expressing his enormous pride in the little Latvian refugee whose English had so improved, that the other teachers went “….what little Latvian boy? wait. did you say red hair? oh, Christ, someone should have warned you about Mr. Chaumas’s pranks.”
the teacher was upset and felt so betrayed. BUT. he still gave my dad an A.
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reblog if 🔁👍🏻 you’re not afraid ❌😖 to have a picture of god 🙏😍 on your dashboard 😔👊
SHARE if you are thankful 😩🎉 for all that he has done for you 🤪☺️ reply to this post 🥴✅ “thank you mr. maeda” and you will be blessed 💋😇 with eternal love and luck 💚🍀 for every sunday for the rest of your life 😍😛
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ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn
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i think the funniest thing is i finally explained my gender to my mom ("only when it's funny") and she was so busy being the world's first externalized misogynist that she just didn't react to it
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you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?
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