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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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IM SO GLSD YOU AGREE

SAMEE.. i totally hc him seeing garroth as a father figure

YESSS eorry i forgot to mention laur omg. yes yes malachi my boy would see laur as his father figure.. itd be such a heartwarming reunion with the three of them..... i also think that he sees dante as his father figure as well? the whole village is just one whole found-nuclear family atp....

THATS WHAT I MEANNNN like it is not aphs fault at all but please . levin would accept aph as his mom (after deliberation eith my friend ive arrived at this conclusion. i first thought that levin would never call aph mom buttttttt...) it would taje a few years, but he woyld accept aph as his mom. but before aph even came into the pocture, to him, it was ALWAYS ZOEY

crazy? i was crazy onc.........

levin

thinkig about how easily jess made levin accept aphmau as his mother once she came back... like bitch. wtf. that would have NEVER have happened. evre.

aphmau missed out on so much of levin's childhood. the worst thing is that it's no one's fault, so levin can't even blame anyone. but imo, i dont think he'd even be okay with aph being there. there'd be some sort of resentment towards her that he wouldn't be able to shake off for a long time. he would never accept aphmau as his mother so fast.

to him, it's zoey. zoey was the one who took care of him all those years, telling him stories about his "mother" when he knew that the woman she was talking about was no where near qualified to be called his mother. to him, zoey was always his mom. he'd be annoyed with everyone dubbing aphmau as his mom. he'd call zoey mom, sometimes even right to aphmau's face.

i honestly feel like the dude would feel threatened by aphmau's presence. he was fed all of these amazing stories by everyone in the village about what an awesome, great, considerate, smart, loving, bla bla bla lord his mom was. i'd say it would've given him such high expectations to live to, expectations that would cushion his mind and suffocate him so hard.

malachi tho... i hc malachi having hyperthymesia (everlasting memory where one can remember most of their life in vivid detail) so considering my hc i feel like they'd have a very heartwarming reunion.

oh and aphmau's pov about this,,,,, she'd feel very fucking weird and maybe even down right hatred for how levin calls zoey mom. SHE's his mother. BUT she would be extremely mature about it and wouldn't outwardly show her distaste for anything at all, she understands why this is happening but it's not something she can stand whatsoever.

it'd take a few years for levin to get used to aphmau me thinks. but oh, he'd get used to garroth MUCH easier. at the very least, garroth resembles the dude. surprisingly a lot. there's some familiarity he can get behind here, but aphmau...? this pisses aphmau off even more imo :3 it took levin literal years to be okay around aphmau, but with garroth i'd say some months? instead and it's not like aphmau can do anything about it either.. levin needs to come to her at his own pace and time . . .

levin to garroth: "where were you all my life XDD ♥/giddy giggles"

levin to aphmau: "where were you all my life. ☺/struggle & hint of animosity"

i think this is how the dynamic would go..........

im shit at putting my thoughts into words and all of this seems so much better in my mind BUT i hope someone gets what i mean :skull

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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levin

thinkig about how easily jess made levin accept aphmau as his mother once she came back... like bitch. wtf. that would have NEVER have happened. evre.

levin to garroth: "where were you all my life XDD ♥/giddy giggles"

levin to aphmau: "where were you all my life. ☺/struggle & hint of animosity"

i think this is how the dynamic would go..........

im shit at putting my thoughts into words and all of this seems so much better in my mind BUT i hope someone gets what i mean :skull

#aphmau mcd #aphmau #minecraft diaries #zoey #levin #malachi mcd #levin mcd #zoey mcd #mommy issues lol #let the boy relax for 2 seconds before being reminded of his absent mother #garroth ro'meave #garroth mcd #garmau

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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pleasantly surprising....

thanks for tagging me <33

tags: @pheonixesfly back at you because youre my only tumblr friend :skull:

i was tagged by one and only @roseofcards90, thank you 🩶 (previous post was sooo long i made a new one, sowwy, your picrew was very cute!)

this uquiz and this picrew

tagging: @kuromikiss @porfiriea @seiyer @not-quitenormal @witch-of-illusions @thatsthatthisthis and everyone else who enjoys picrews! no pressure ofc if u don't wanna

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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mcd....... mys........ mcd.......................... mys............................................

why would you like media that is good if you can like media that is bad instead and pace around your room like an insane person thinking about What If It Was Good

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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THEY'RE SO TRAGIC AND EX LOVERS CODED AND I HATE THEM AND UGHHH

Also this song is so them when

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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SEETHING

This might be my Favorite possible parallel actually

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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Aphmau: it’s my first time in Meteli where do I go?

Laurance:

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panicataphmausinsanity · 5 months

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I don't like Rebirth because I think it really strips a lot of agency from Aphmau.

In season one of Diaries it starts with Aphmau standing in a forest before seeing Vylad in the distance and chasing him to Phoenix Drop, this opening builds intrigue by making one wonder who Vylad is what he was doing. One initially doesn't question what Aphmau was doing in the forest, but later on the season when she states that she doesn't remember her parents, in makes you interested in her past and what led her to that moment. This also shows her ability to act for herself, although she finds Phoenix Drop by following Vylad, he wasn't directly in front of her nor did he tell her to follow him. She saw him and decided to chase him, this was a choice she made.

In Rebirth we are shown Vylad place that stick he got given by Lucinda's mom and summon Aphmau. This wasn't as interesting as the original because it drops the slower and more intriguing style of the original to instead just show you the thing that was vaguely hinted towards for two seasons. This also makes Aphmau have less agency then in the original. She doesn't notice Vylad and decide to follow him, no she lays there unconscious while Vylad has a cool moment(Vylad's my favorite Lil guy I just think this is a bad way to introduce your main character). Instead of running into Phoenix Drop, she lays there asleep and then some men drag her there while she's barely dressed.

In the original she is a capable fighter, possess good life skills, and survival abilities. Although she cannot recall her past she is capable. She's smart, she just doesn't know the lore. In Rebirth she's a bumbling fool.

In Diaries, she helps the people of Phoenix Drop and acts as a capable leader, so they make her lord. In Rebirth peo0le mistakenly think some guy think she's hot, so they pretend she's lord.

In Diaries Aphmau move a number of people into Phoenix Drop, in Rebirth, at least one of them, Donna, already lives there.

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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It's been chaos ever since

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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OH MY GOD TRAVIS I CANNOT WAIT WUBDUEH2JDUDJEJ MY MODELS ARE GOJNG ON RN TOO THIS IS GONNA BE SO SWEET I LOVE TRAVIS

@panicataphmausinsanity okay so Zane HC's LETS GOOOOOOOO

Before we start trigger warning for like, child abuse and torture and shit. Seriously this gets dark. Zane redemption must come at a price >:D

So. Something interesting to me in regards to Zane is how in MCD, He's like, this psychotic, evil, terrible human being, but in Mystreet, he's like, a semi functional human being who can be a NOT bad person and NOT do bad things. And so I got to thinking.

I know there are real life documented cases of born psychopaths. I know they exist.

I don't think Zane is one.

Personally, I kind of hate the way Jess wrote Zane. Like, yes, evil for the sake of evil is great and all, but like. In season one and two, Zane was this overarching antagonist who was always one step ahead of the cast and plotting and having a good time being a paice of shit.

And then season 3 comes around and now he's a shadow knight, on the run, has PTSD...

Look, I'm not knocking the guy for having PTSD. I'm just saying that the way it's portrayed kind of makes him seem like a whimpery coward. AGAIN, NOT KNOCKING PTSD!!

I think the position that Zane found himself in season 3 was a PERFECT set up for a redemption arc and it makes me SO MAD that it didn't happen.

So I guess I have to do it myself apparently -_-

I've been thinking a lot about Zane. I don't want him to stop being evil. Not right away. So we keep what happened in the first two seasons the same. He's a cackling maniac that has killed a shit ton of people and is on his father's payroll.

And then he dies.

(skill issue lol)

Anyway, Zane is dead. But he's also Zane, so of course he weasels his way out of being dead. And then he gets tortured and is subjected to the same suffering he condemned so many others to yada yada yada PTSD bleh.

Everything seems to be the same so far.

But then he breaks out if the nether. Still, we're on track, right?

He gets captured, he gets expedited to Phoenix Drop, he gets interrogated, it's all the same.

But here we find a canon divergence. Instead of being absolute dumbasses, they don't bring him into the nether. Let's scrap that plot point entirely.

Instead, we're going to let Zane bake in prison for a while!

Here are the main issues that make Zane irredeemable.

1. He's killed like, a shit ton of people, for funsies ig

2. He killed Vylad.

3. He destroyed Aaron's village.

Let's keep those things in mind.

So he's in prison. While in prison, Garroth starts to visit him (along with Travis but shhhh we'll get to him another day) and just. You know. Be angry.

Garroth has seen Zane as a spiled brat his entire life. He's always been their father's favorite. He's always had everything handed to him on a silver platter. He's always been willing to do whatever it takes for power. He's greedy. He's psychotic. Garroth hates him.

But Zane is Garroth's brother. And Garroth is the type of golden retriever, gold hearted, kind type of character to still love his brother even if he hates him.

That doesn't mean he goes in and is like, nice to him though. Nope. Garroth goes to visit him and nine times out of ten it devolves into a screaming match where Zane antagonizes him the entire time and Garroth yells at him for being a shitty human being.

And then one day Phoenix Drop is attacked and Zane escapes.

They track him down eventually. When they find him, they strike a deal with him. Due to Irene related shenanigans they need his expertise as a scholar of Irene to figure out some more stuff for Aphmau. In exchange, they'll protect him from the Shadow Lord (who he pissed off by stealing one of his soul fragments lol Zane behavior).

Eventually they're able to establish a rapore with Zane. Garroth still gets a migraine whenever they have a conversation. Vylad still refuses to speak to him (oh btw he's visiting from his nether revolution vacation just so u know) and Aphmau still wants to tear out his guts for killing the love of her life or whatever, but he becomes manageable. They can like, stand him. A little bit. Slightly.

And then Zianna gets kidnapped or whatever. So they go rescue her. But when they get back to Phoenix Drop they forget to mention the fact that Zane is like. There and in the wild and not currently killing entire villages worth of people.

So Zianna rolls up to Phoenix Drop and gets jumpscared by her youngest son and also, notably, Zane is NOT happy to see her. He shuts the front door in her face. It's hilarious even though Garroth doesn't think of it that way.

So, now we have our key players all in one place. Garroth, Vylad, Zane, and Zianna.

Let's say they have to all go find an artifact toghether or something and they need Zianna there because it's related to something she knows and they need Zane there because of Irene lore reasons. they go on this mission. One day, they sit and set up for the night, set up bedrolls, whatever. They're lounging around the fire and talking when Vylad eventually mentions his time as a shadow knight in the nether and something about torture.

Zane blinks, and, having not been included in the conversation initially, buts it to say,

"Oh, please. Don't tell me getting tortured by those amatures was DISTRESSING for you. I would have thought father's methods would have given you thicker skin."

The others bristle and start scolding him, of course, because Zane is like, the reason Vylad became a shadow knight in the first place. But Vylad himself, who is very observant and hard to antagonize, latches into something Zane said.

"Methods? What methods?" He says. He says it sharply, too.

Of course, Zane doesn't pick up on this. He just rolls his eyes.

"Don't tell me you forgot. Father had a whole floor dedicated to torture and loved collecting new methods from around the region. I think he even had a historian employed who would research for him..."

"What?" Garroth says, stunned out of his anger.

Zianna has gone silent. So has everyone else, and now they're watching with baited breaths.

"So what? What would that have to do with me?"

And for the first time that they've ever seen, Zane looks... Puzzled.

"What, did he go easy on you? Didn't you talk back to him all the time? Once, after just asking him a question, he had two of my nails pulled. Shadow Knight torture was child's play in comparison," he shrugs, then takes a bite out of his stale price of bread.

There's silence.

Zane looks back at all of them, confused and now kind of pissed off. He looks like he usually does when he feels like he's about to be scolded for saying something crass. Except, that's not what happens. Instead, Vylad looks him in the eye for the first time since Zane killed him, and with the most emotion they've ever heard from him, says,

"What?"

Zane hums.

"Come on. Don't play dumb. He hated you. Im sure he must have sent you to the "torture basement" at least once. You got on his nerves constantly,"

Garroth makes an aborted movement, like he's going to stand up and rush him, but Vylad stops him with a flick of his hand. And then Vylad starts doing what he does best. Interrogating him.

So remember that list, right? Let's reframe a few things.

Zane was not the favorite child. Garroth was.

Garte was a paice of shit. Garte hated Vylad. But he also hates Zane. Why wouldn't he? Vylad was his wife's affair child, sure, but Zane, Zane was Zianna's spitting image.

When Zane was little, he used to take snails and out them in the grass after it rained. He uses to clamor for his mother's pastries just like his brothers. He was a normal child, and he was NOT born a psychopath.

But Garte had a thought, one day.

Wouldn't it be funny... If he made his wife think he WAS one?

Wouldn't it be funny to punish her that way? Wouldn't it be funny to turn Zane into a terrible person, and have her think it was for no reason? Make her think that she birthed a psychopath? How much would it hurt her? How much would she weep?

Garte used to punish Zane for Vylad's joy. One of Vylad's laughs would equal one slap to the face. One side remark in defence of their mother would equal one hour locked in his father's study closet in his office.

Garte turns Zane against himself brothers. And the best part in his mind?

He makes Zane believe that they know about all of it.

He tells Zane that his mother knows about it. That his brothers don't care that he's beaten. That Vylad does things so he gets punished on purpose.

Zane grows up thinking that his brothers probably go through this too. He grows up thinking that his mother just doesn't love him. And so he doesn't say a thing.

Garte starts having him tortured instead of superficially physically abused? He says nothing.

Garte makes him become a priest of Okasis even though the consequence of failing the academy is death? He says nothing.

Garte would encourage Zane to blugeon animals to death and bring them to Zianna and laugh at her horrified face from afar. Garte encourages Zane to say psychotic things while they're eating dinner, and watches as his family becomes more and more convinced Zane is a monster.

Until Zane is one.

But this reframes a few things.

The people Zane killed? It was under orders. He eventually became his father's right hand man. Most of his overarching goals have been in service of his father.

For Aaron's village, we'll stick a pin in that one, but long story short, Aaron's village had been planning a coup that night under his wife's orders. Zane had them killed under his father's orders so they could eliminate them as political neighbors. He let Aaron live out of pity.

And Vylad.

Basically, remember when I said that Garte used to punish Zane according to Vylad's actions?

One day, Vylad gets into an explosive argument with Garte defending Zianna. And Garte, again, without the other's knowing, has Zane tortured. Except this time it's for a WEEK STRAIGHT.

So when Zane gets out. He's. Very unstable.

And then he comes across Vylad in a semi secluded area.

And Vylad is acting like he did nothing, and all he's ever done is make Zane suffer, and Zane hates him hates him HATES HIM--

And so he snaps. And he kills him.

Keep in mind, though, Zane thinks this is all normal. He doesn't realize that killing his own brother has traumatized him. He does realize that he's a victim of abuse. He does realize that what his dad did is not okay because he THINK HIS FAMILY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED, and if they didn't contradict his abuse, then this must be normal. He thinks that Vylad has probably been tortured too. He thinks Garroth is their father's favorite because in his mind he's determined that Garroth not receiving any attention from their father is a GOOD thing because ATTENTION EQUALS TORTURE to him.

And this reframes a few things. His constant bid for power? It's not greed, it's DESPERATION. Power makes him feel safe. Hurting others makes him feel powerful because that's how his father had power over him.

His highly volatile and violent personality? It's l he's ever known. Do you have ANY idea what torture could do to a child? He has severe PTSD. Like, severe and repressed and his outburst are more common when he's uncomfortable or anxious or experiencing any negative emotion, which is often.

Garte took Zane's empathy from him. Turned him against his family. Made him into a monster. With these types of characters, I imagine it would probably be very difficult for them to redevelop their emotions and empathy because if they do that, they would have to face their whole mountain of trauma and the guilt of all the lives they've ruined.

I think eventually, after a lot of work, Zane does eventually regain his empathy. It probably finally sinks in during a small gathering. His mother makes her famous cake. Zane has long gotten used to being excluded during these sorts of things, but then...

His mother slides a plate of cake right in front of him.

Strawberry.

His favorite.

And she smiles at him.

This is probably after they found out about Garte being a peice of shit. Maybe a few months.

All Zane has ever wanted is to be loved. Maybe he didn't know it, but when he takes a bite of his mother's strawberry cake for the first time in decades and the nostalgic taste registers in his brain, something snaps.

And he becomes human again.

And he realizes:

Oh.

I'm a person.

I'm a murderer.

I'm a monster.

LMAO WAS THIS COHERENT SORRY PANIC I TRIED MY BEST I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE OSIBWIBDIBSIBU

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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my entire dash talking about the spn finale and i'm over here like "hehe. minecraft gays. silly block guys."

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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that one scene but gayer somehow

#AAAAAAAAAAAAA

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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exactly!! maybe she shouldve just stuck to her little fanfictions instead of ruining the whole series for her weird fantasies and whatnot

mcd spoils

rant :3

hate how jessica started living through aph as the series progressed. jess's annoying little habit to implement her own personality onto aphmau has honestly left me FERAL because whenever i see aph do something in the show in the most recently released episodes, my mind immediately goes to she would never do that. it's kinda ruined the show. she imposed her own fantasies and fetishes that have ultimately led mcd to be a self indulgent story of hers. its frustrating to think about how great the show could've become was it not for her reflecting her own personality through aphmau and

of course, the butchering of some of the main characters in the show- laurance and garroth to push viewers towards aarmau. i LOVE aarmau, but not the aarmau jess's shown us.

aaron is just a burlier version of garroth. talking to my friend about this has made me realise so much as well, like how aaron was ultimately a substitute for garroth. a substitute for a salty, weird ass husband who couldnt bear to see his wife make her self insert's love interest someone that wasn't based off of him.

in any case, even though this happened, they could've saved this whole shipwreck by just implementing a proper healing arc for aaron to make it valid and SHOW the romance happening. and not rush it the fuck up and then have aaron fucking explode for no reason- LITERALLY no reason because i found out that zane becomes a damn shadow knight anyway (thanks for that mel😭). defeated the entire purpose of his death, great!

as much as i hate jason, i love aaron SO much and it hurt to see him die so damn quick. just when he was getting used to the people around him as well. grrrrrr.

OHHHHHHH THE POTENTIAL MY BABIES 💔💔💔💔💔🫂🫂🫂

#no forreal #if they didnt want the love triangle to last maybe they shouldve brought in aaron sooner #i feel like he was actually getting into the story like #properly and then he #fucking explodes!!#cool shit #jess's inability to write strikes agajn #real talk on how they shouldve done aarmau or nothing #and then actually ended up doing nothing LMAO #also its funny to think about how aarmau ms s1 is the besg non problematic aarmau #and then jess pulled out pdh

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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Dadron HCs always fuck me over

Like I hc Aaron with tattoos and just the idea of his kids getting pens to colour them in 🤭🤭🤭

Especially because he has kind of edgy/realistic tattoos and they’re just absolutely covered in sparkly gel pen.

#brian shattered #brain*

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panicataphmausinsanity · 6 months

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LMAO SO TRUE THOUGH and yk one could say that it's fine it's her series, she can do whatever she wants with it and everything but she started it out as a let's play/roleplay where the main character had already been written out so like- it's just really weird to see it change so drastically over time... especially when it was starting to get serious too! major L

mcd spoils

rant :3

of course, the butchering of some of the main characters in the show- laurance and garroth to push viewers towards aarmau. i LOVE aarmau, but not the aarmau jess's shown us.

as much as i hate jason, i love aaron SO much and it hurt to see him die so damn quick. just when he was getting used to the people around him as well. grrrrrr.

OHHHHHHH THE POTENTIAL MY BABIES 💔💔💔💔💔🫂🫂🫂

#you know. i just realized that the episodes i keep ranting about are over like 7 years old.#and i cant bring myself to not type in mcd spoilers every time i talk or rant about mcd #its very weird and i dont wanna be accidentally spoiling someone and tbh THATS weird bc who tf am i gonna be spoilin over this dead ass #minecraft roleplay #but this made me smile tysm aro zvahl

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