in my defense, i never learned how to stand dumb people because i was around smart people my entire life, even now i immediately leave when i sense dumbassery. why must the internet and my interests have to force me to deal with stupidity

"you think you're so smart" well yes!

sincerely hate everyone 🫶

im 24. im TWENTY FOUR. i cannot be doing things that just constantly frustrate me and ruin my mental health. it's like a bad addiction atp. this isnt healthy. it hasnt been healthy for a while now

junichi suwabe's tweet on the iceado cancellation :(

✨ CLEAN ✨ (more or less)

[SCAN] TOMORROW X TOGETHER

2024 Season's Greetings 'Nuance' Desk Calendar - Soobin

📁 DIRECTORY has been updated!

...

everyday i ask myself why i subject myself to the torture that is full-on stanning soobin. i love soobin but the amount of times i have been happy since june last year is far fewer than the amount of times i have been upset. i wanna be a casual stan instead, that way i can still be happy while still liking soobin. but i... i dont wanna leave my friends... if my friends still want to stick around and try harder, i want to stay with them too... but i want to be happy... i didn't work hard to get myself to where i am today mental health wise just for me to subject myself daily to stuff that makes me upset... half of my friends also say that im not obligated in any way to stick around...

another reason i stay is honestly because i have so much faith in soobin ingrained in me. i stuck around and suffered through years in the fandom and saw soobin shine despite everything, saw him grow and bloom. whenever i think of that, it makes me happy. and i just... i think it's impossible for soobin to go through his entire life unrecognized when he is a superstar. i wanna stick around to see that. this is Soobin, no one else who gets treated the way he does would be at his level. but Soobin can because he is Soobin... i wanna stick around to see Soobin shine and receive all the recognition he deserves and see the things i have been wishing to see from him come true... i have been doing pretty well with my manifestations... i'll keep manifesting good things for him...

reflect assess advice intuition

but sometimes i really do wanna fight soobin myself... for being the cause of my sufferings. for not doing more to prevent my sufferings. but would that be fair to him, would it be right for me to blame him. i would rather step away than grow to resent him. and it's not like i resent him but some days... some days i want to take some of the weight off myself and who else should i blame...

i have no one but myself to blame for choosing to continue suffering through all of this...

...

txt plz disband and end my misery

i feel... very... i feel like im being suffocated...

i feel like im in an invisible box

(240401) prince soobin 👑

SOOBIN ·:¨:· DEJA VU @ STUDIO CHOOM

[2024 DREAM WEEK] 'Blue Orangeade' Special Clip

TXT :: DEJA VU @ DANCE RELAY

SOOBIN ' I'll See You There Tomorrow ' @ Performance37

me needing 27849595 accounts to compartmentalize my thoughts is proof of mental illness probably

...

i was gonna deactivate but my pettiness won

maybe i am alone in this thought but you just gotta keep pushing back. that's how you win, you just gotta outlast and out-crazy everyone. a survival of the fittest. no use intellectualizing things so much when everyone is dumb.

i dont want all this though... i dont want any of it

planning my escape as a way to cope

.

i should just hand over the reigns to someone else. not like i can be active much by next week. but i hate how everyone leads. and i can tell other people also don't. but hey, maybe they will work better. im exhausted