I DON'T NEED YOUR ROSES, I LIKE MEN ON THEIR KNEES
Humans, however, can't live very long without some sense of a continuing story. Such stories go beyond the limited rational system with which you surround yourself; they are crucial keys to sharing time-experience with others. Now a narrative is a story, not a logic, nor ethics, nor philosophy. It is a dream you keep having, whether you realize it or not. Just as surely as you breathe, you go on ceaselessly dreaming your story. And in these stories you wear two faces. You are simultaneously subject and object. You are a whole and you are a part. You are real and you are shadow. "Storyteller" and at the same time "character". It is through such multilayering of roles in our stories that we heal the loneliness of being an isolated individual in the world. Yet without a proper ego nobody can create a personal narrative, any more than you can drive a car without an engine, or cast a shadow without a real physical object. But once you've consigned your ego to someone else, where on earth do you go from there? At this point you receive a new narrative from the person to whom you have entrusted your ego. You've handed over the real thing, so what comes back is a shadow. And once your ego has merged with another ego, your narrative will necessarily take on the narrative created by that ego. (Haruki Murakami)
I wonder if horrigan misses being....like everyone else, I know he doesn't see himself as a mutant but I do think he'd have the awareness of "there is something distinct about me and the treatments I'm given". I know it's unlikely he had many friends before the mariposa incident considering he was known to be pretty unstable by default, but maybe sometimes he sees rig citizens laughing with each other and he goes... :(
internet wiccan tries to harm me with an emoji spell but i narrowly survive bc my phone is too old for updates so i just get black rectangles, easily one of my favorite color and shape combinations