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opheliaas-stuff · 7 days

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dreamscape - l. castellan

content: angst, i think swearing, pjo show references

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of hypnos!reader

the familiar feeling of sleep finally comes over you, and you're brought into that peaceful bliss you and your siblings know all too well

for children of hypnos, sleeping isn't sleeping. it's your transfer to a more peaceful part of your day. when a child of hypnos goes to sleep, they are brought into a dreamscape that reflects their mood. they live there for those many hours until they wake up.

you open your eyes to the realm you know as your own. it's a beach. before everything had happened, it was a peaceful shore with placid waves, but now, it is a storm crackling in the sky and high tides attacking the water.

you take a shaky breath, stepping onto the sand, the way you do every night. picking your eyes up from where your feet touch the sand, you stop in your tracks when you spot a figure in the distance, standing a few yards away from where the waves pound onto the rocks. a figure you know better than the back of your hand.

a man. a man clothed in business attire—his hair neatly combed. these were the two qualities that made him slightly different from how you remember him.

you remembered him as the angry yet still gentle boy in that same orange camp shirt. eventually, you remembered him as the boy who betrayed you. your friends. the entire camp. the man who joined kronos-the man who sabotaged the gods and left you with nothing but the remnants of his love-memories. good and bad.

he left last year quickly after an attack on percy jackson, a young boy you'd helped luke show around camp when he'd first arrived.

you remember the way you'd laughed when percy first told you what had happened; you didn't believe it. thought it was some sick joke. but here you were, over three hundred and sixty-five days after he left you, seeing him in your dreamscape.

this shouldn't be possible. he's obviously dreaming. you can comprehend that from the way his body is slightly transparent. but how is he dreaming of this place? the only way he could dream of it—

is if he's thinking of you.

you curse yourself. you curse hypnos for letting luke castellan in this dreamscape. you know your father has to approve of entrance of an entity that is not of descent of hypnos. you know he allowed him to enter. you don't know why, but it's the only way possible.

you take a shaky deep breath before picking your feet up, carrying yourself along the sand and closer to luke. he's standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking out at the waters. the crashing, angry, messy waters that reflect your state of mind-angry, messy... at least, ever since he left.

you finally stop next to him, putting enough distance in between the two of you. you stare out at those waters. crazy. like you-for walking up to luke castellan and standing next to him with such serenity.

with force, you open your mouth and push out the simple name, "luke."

turning your head to him, you realize luke is squeezing his eyes. he doesn't seem surprised that you're here. he shakes his head. "y/n."

you click your tongue, shaking the monotonous reaction off of your mind. "what are you doing here?"

he shrugs, staring out at the pounding waves. the wind stirs his dark curls, the chill of it carrying the salty water landing against his face, turning it pink. he moistens his lips. "waiting."

"for?"

your eyes bore into his that are still turned toward the ocean. his lip twists into a small, sad smile, and he just shrugs again. "you."

"oh." you nervously take your camp necklace up into your hands, twirling the string and sliding the beads in between your fingers.

he inhales sharply, finally turning to you. his breath hitches as he takes in the sight of you, and then he reaches out toward you.

instinctively, you back away, afraid to let him in, afraid to trust. he purses his lips after freezing, and then he lowers his hand. "right."

you sigh, dropping your necklace back to hang loosely where it belongs. "m sorry, i just... i... i can't.

"i know."

luke turns his head slowly back to the shore, eyes trailing along the skyline as a bird flies by. rain trickles down his proud cheekbones. he parts his lips, licking them and letting the rain in. he closes his mouth, tasting the salt on his tongue and then opens it again. "tastes familiar."

in a dreamscape, the rain is your tears-the same tears luke used to kiss away and playfully lick at when you cried in his arms. you clench your jaw and turn back to the water, frowning when he steps closer to you again.

"you shouldn't be here," you say finally, closing the gap of exchanged words that rested along with the sound of the beating rain.

"yeah, i know," he bites his cheek, the same way he used to when he was trying to stay serious— trying not to smile and give into your antics when you teased him. "didn't think you'd be here."

"this place is my mind. i'm always here."

"usually your mind is on camp. the dreamscape would represent camp. your friends. it would represent your friends. but it's on yourself. how you feel about yourself. how... i made you feel. so you're here. and i didn't expect that."

"i didn't expect you to be here either."

he laughs. it's a hollow laugh, one that you can tell he forces out, but you know he's doing it to lighten the mood. to make you comfortable.

"I'm always here. just...thinking about you."

"you said you were waiting for me," you state.

"what did you mean?"

"exactly what i said," he replies quickly. "i knew you'd have to come eventually. i knew id see you again."

you stay quiet. you know he's right. you also knew eventually he'd get to you, maim your confidence and self love. the same self love he declared you should have, because he didn't

"understand how someone could hate you."

"i should go," you whisper finally: the words you've been trying to get out of your mouth, the ones that sat at the tip of your tongue like feet stuck to the ground of asphodel. "i should-"

"you should stay," he declares firmly. moments pass until you turn to him and stare at the dark brown orbs in his eyes, now seen through tears. he's looking at you like you're his lost dog that he's been looking everywhere for, because to him, you were. in a small voice, he says, "i miss you."

you scoff, forcing a sarcastic smile to grace your lips, even though there's nothing in you that wants to smile, even if it is sarcastic. "you left."

you hear the sand next to you get kicked, and he's grumbling. "i know. but you know why. i had to."

"you had to betray your friends and family? you had to betray me? your girlfriend? that's not how it works, luke. you know damn well."

luke huffs, looking up at the sky, the rain kissing his forehead as he does so. "maybe not for you. but for me, it's eat or be eaten. power and glory and nothing else matters. i can't ignore that."

"power and glory? really? that's all that matters?" you try to say it with solid anger and firmness in your voice, but it comes out shaky and hurt. "was it always that way? did i ever matter to you?"

"of course you mattered!" he turns to you as if he can't believe what you're saying. "you matter. more than... more than anything. you are glory. that's why it matters to me. you are glory. and i don't care if i'm the first foolish halfblood to say it, but i don't care for glory if it means that you're not the definition."

you bite your lip, trying to remind yourself that this is the enemy. this is luke. but this is your luke.

"why'd you leave, then?"

he rolls his eyes; you already brought this up. "i want to protect you. give you the life you deserve. you don't deserve one where you're controlled by the gods. where you have to constantly obey them on hand and foot. you're not their dog. i want to be sure of that."

"you left me. why couldn't you have at least taken me with you?"

"why would i purposefully put you in danger like that? with me, everyone on the other side has no instructions whether to kill you or not. but if you're there at camp, you're off limits. i already told my army they are not to lay a finger on you. you're safer without me."

"no i'm not! i can't take this. if someone doesn't kill me first, i'm going to kill myself"

"y/n, please stop yelling."

you inhale sharply, and exhale sharply. in and out. like the way luke taught you to when you had those panic attacks during the night and somehow even your powers couldn't get you past nightmares. "i really need to go."

"i need you," he whispers. he holds out his arms, as if for a hug, and he begs, "i need to hold you."

"no!" you say quickly. "that's not... that's not fair. because you can wake up and know this was only a dream, and possibly forget it. but i have to live with this. this is real for me. i'm not asleep right now. i feel everything."

"i do, too," he groans. "you taught me how to become lucid, remember?"

twisting your spit between your teeth, your tongue, you weave a sigh through them and groan. "you don't get to hug me. not when i hoped every night that you'd come back and do it in person. in real life. prayed to every god alive, even your father, that you'd tell me it was all some sick joke and you'd be good again."

"i'm so lonely," he cries, and for the first time you realize that the water pouring down your cheeks aren't only the drops of rain. also his tears. "i need to hold you. let me hold you, y/n."

"you don't deserve that. you don't get to."

"one last time. you won't see me here ever again. just let me hold you. i need to... i need to remember what it feels like."

your lips twist and curl into all shapes of a different frown, and you wipe the now forming tears on your face that mirror the ones on luke's.

"i'm so sorry," he whispers. he's staring into your eyes, and the eye contact feels lethal. this is the man your camp trains you to fight, trains you to kill when you have the chance. but here you are, staring deep into his eyes as you inch closer and closer to him—

how did you get here?

you realize you're wrapped in his arms. his arms are tied taut around your waist and he's gripping on your pajama shirt like it's the only thing holding him from falling into tartarus. he's whispering, i'm sorry's, and i love you's, and you find yourself sobbing into his neck, too. he sighs, pulling away and trailing kisses down your jaw.

trembling fingers are raking through his hair, and you get the same feeling you used to when you'd twirl his curls and lather conditioner into his it in the shower. the rain is pouring down onto the two of you like that same shower water, and you're holding each other and in love, and suddenly you're one year younger and you're luke's girl, and luke is your boy.

"i love you, i'm so, so sorry. wanna go back and fix it. 's too late. i can't take this. 'm so lonely. i miss you so much." luke is rambling and rambling into your hair. he's pulling it a little bit as his hands squeeze and trail up and down your back and he captures a bit of it with his hands.

"i know," you whisper. you can't forgive him right now. but you can hold him.

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