5 years ago today in The Onion ...

10 years ago today: "My God, I don't know how much longer I can take this," sales associate Peter Ronson said 122 seconds into the Friday evening event. "We got through the first minute and a half with stilted exchanges about office stuff, but now we're all silently facing the fact that we have absolutely nothing else in common."

https://www.theonion.com/after-work-drinks-enter-third-excruciating-minute-1819573762

I love when The Onion anthropomorphizes animals, especially when they are lobbying Congress. This one is from 21 years ago today https://www.theonion.com/endangered-manatee-struggles-to-make-self-understood-to-1819566117

Oof. Today in 2017

This week’s special issue of The Onion Magazine

5 years ago today

SAN JOSE, CA—Searching for affordable items to furnish their modest single-room dwellings, the ‘Dorm Room Essentials’ aisle at a local Target was reportedly being browsed Monday exclusively by 30-year-old men with studio apartments. According to sources, the customers perusing the shelves for stackable storage containers and flimsy particle board coffee tables consisted solely of thirtysomethings living in efficiencies. Reports subsequently confirmed that every one of the individuals placing twin-size bedsheets, compact microwaves, and single matching navy blue towels and washcloths in their carts had graduated from college more than a decade ago. All of the men had, at press time, decided to swing by the food aisle on the way out to stock up on Cup Noodles, including a few who were, in fact, actually closer to 40.

10 years ago today from The Onion: "Coworker With Two Computer Screens Not Fucking Around"

Hello, world! It's been a while since I've been on Tumblr, but I write a weekly newsletter looking at The Onion from 20 years ago and figured I should start sharing it here, along with other fun Onion history and stories.