Lots of changes in the pass year.

-Married in January 2014 to one of the most sincere, sacrificially loving, gospel-centered man that I've grown to know and be with. He prays for me almost every night and reminds me of the grace we have by pointing me to our savior. 

-Faced the challenges of leaving home and relocating to the Bay.

-Have been cooking here and there, experimenting different dishes. Learned how to do laundry.

-Worked remotely from home and now doing contract work at a corporation where I'm meeting great people and getting more cultured. :)

-Recognizing more in marriage how I am a sinner, struggling to put the old woman to death, living out as a daughter of the most high king by recognizing the gospel. Marriage is really about holiness. 

-Starting bible study with an ex-muslim who has accepted Christ as her savior. The pastoral staff and I were able to hear her pray, weeping in Farsi. It was utterly beautiful and mind-blowing. She's going through a lot, please when you have time, lift her up in your prayers.

-Starting to pray for my coworkers and asking God for wisdom in how I can be loving towards them. 

-Looking forward by partnering with God to witness what He's already doing here in the bay.

Thank you God. I see your faithfulness. Help me Lord to consider you in all that I do.

Isaiah 45:7

"I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things."

This verse is offending. It's offensive to those that don't believe God created sickness, death, and pain.

But it's actually very comforting. It gives me the assurance that He is even more powerful and that nothing is out of his hands. It's not because He is weak that he isn't healing someone. It's not because He does not care about pain and suffering. But when He does not heal, when there is greater suffering ahead, .. I might even say that He creates darkness and calamity because knows that the ones that love him will be refined, refocused, re-established in their faith by them. 

He's sovereign and will use all things for His glory because everything is from Him. Nothing has been created without Him. 

So easy to say but very difficult when we are in the midst of great suffering.

Just look at him. There’s something disgusting about him, don’t you think? Something that makes you squirm inside. He’s so pale and sickly-looking, with that dried blood round his mouth. He looks like a pedophile being led away by the police. He looks like something from under a rock; as if he doesn’t deserve the daylight. He’s a blot on the new day. Someone kicks him as he goes by, and whoops, down he goes, flat on his nose with the cross pinning him like a struggling insect. Jesus is a joke. He’s less a messiah, more a patch of something nasty on the pavement. And as he struggles on he recognizes every roaring, jeering face. He knows our names. He knows our histories.

And since, as well as being a weak man, he’s also the love that makes the world, to whom all times and places are equally present, he isn’t just feeling the anger and spite and unbearable self-disgust of this one crowd on this one Friday morning in Palestine; he’s turning his bruised face toward the whole human crowd, past and present and to come, and accepting everything we have to throw at him, everything we fear we deserve ourselves. The doors of his heart are wedged open wide, and in rushes the whole vile and roiling tide of cruelties and failures and secrets. Let me take that from you, he is saying. Give that to me instead. Let me carry it. Let me be to blame instead. I am big enough. I am wide enough. I am the father who longs for every last one of his children. I am the friend who will never leave you. I am the light behind the darkness. I am the shining your shame cannot extinguish. I am the ghost of love in the torture chamber. I am change and hope. I am the refining fire. I am the door where you thought there was only wall. I am what comes after deserving. I am the earth that drinks up the bloodstain. I am gift without cost. I am. I am. I am. Before the foundations of the world, I am. -Francis Spufford’s book Unapologetic

Prayer for Healing

Dear God,

I praise and thank you for all the blessings that you showered upon me. But now I’m facing a big challenge. I’m in terrible pain and worried for my family. Lord, if you’re willing please heal me. I know I don’t have the right to demand because I only live under your mercy and grace.

Lord I don’t have enough funds to go for a doctor’s check-up and even an operation to my fractured tail bone. And now it’s getting worst, oh God please have mercy upon me. My family is totally dependent upon me as their provider and head of the family. Lord have mercy upon my sons for they are still small to suffer with me and my wife who is also struggling for life’s challenges. I truly believe Lord that only you can heal me and you’re my only hope. Jesus rescue us from this situation and if this is your will, please sustain us and pour out  your grace upon us that we may survive as we face this problem.

Lord, may we see your goodness on this and if ever we don’t understand what will happened to us, increase our faith and wisdom that we may still see you as our true and living God.

I love you Lord and i still want to serve you and see my family serving you.

In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Brother and Sisters, please include us in your prayers. Your prayers will be a great help for us. I’m a christian, serving the Lord in the worship team and working as well in the I.T. industry. I have two wonderful kids (2 and 7 yrs old) and lovely wife who is always supportive and loving to me.

God bless us all.

photo credit: Emmanuele Contini

Isaiah 43:1 is one of the most treasured promises to God’s children in all of His Word: “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.’” So "Fear not," God says. You had the worst possible problem, which required the greatest imaginable sacrifice, and He took care of it. You think it’s all over because you have some problems? The Lord redeemed you just as surely as He redeemed Israel."I have called you by name, you are mine." What will He not do for you now?

Small problems seem big to us, but we’re not God. He is completely aware of all you face and every situation in which you find yourself. God will allow you to go through a trial to change you and to bring glory to Himself. It won't go on forever. It won't get too deep. It won't become too hot. So you need not falter—God is watching!

-James Macdonald.

"The gospel of Luke tells us of a father who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus. Christ told the father, “Bring thy son hither. And as he was yet a-coming, the devil threw him down, and tare him” (Luke 9:41-42). The word tare means to violently convulse, to terribly shake. This young man came to Christ and was about to be set free, translated out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of light. The devil saw he was about to lose another victim, so in a rage, he threw the young man to the ground in one last, violent attack. He wanted to kill him and take his soul before Jesus could deliver him. Satan will try to do the same thing to you today. The moment you move toward Christ, he will attempt one last devouring attack. He will put before your eyes the most alluring temptations. He will try to cast you down with lies, telling you that you will never be free from sin and lust. He will try to convince you you’ll always be his, not God’s!

But let me remind you: The instant you move toward Jesus, the devil is rendered helpless. He cannot stop anyone who is headed to Christ! He could not keep the demon-possessed young man from reaching Jesus. All Christ had to do was say a word: “And Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, and healed the child, and delivered him again to his father” (verse 42). James tells us, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). So, how do you resist the enemy? You do it by faith alone! Simply come to Jesus, trusting that He will rescue you from Satan’s clutches. “Whom resist steadfast in the faith” (1 Peter 5:9). You can be free today.

You can say to Satan, “When I finish reading this message, I’m going to be a free person. Jesus is going to deliver me from every lust and ungodly passion. It’s all going to go because He said so.” The times ahead may get hard for you. But the Father’s glorious, blazing sun will shine ever brighter for you!"

- David Wilkerson

In my weakness, Jesus you are made strong. Give me faith and courage to follow you cuz it's getting really difficult to keep my eyes on you.

jammin.

Lord, I want to walk in the light of your face.

Help me see you in your glory.

numbers 6:24-26

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” 

"You can't stay angry and resentful towards someone unless you feel superior to them. There is no bitterness without pride. You're saying, " I would never do anything like that." If your life is distorted by anger, it's because pride is at the root of it. Or what about paralyzing fear and worry? Do you know where that comes from? You knowing exactly how things should go. You're so sure of what's got to happen in history and if this doesn't/does happen, you then are freaking out about it. But how can you know? …"I just know." That takes arrogance. You can't be horribly worried without being proud. You can't be terribly bitter without being proud. Pride also leads to being opinionated which everyone doesn't' like.. but pride leads also to being indecisive.. which is the inferior form because you're just afraid of how you're going to look and making the wrong move. Pride makes you too shy which is the inferiority form and.. Pride makes you too abrasive that is the superiority form.. but this is just the personal stuff.. there's also social evils.. racism, imperialism, etc.. Pride makes you a fool and it's the one sin that easily hides itself. It kills you without you having the ability to know what is happening."

-Timothy Keller: "The Man the King Delights to Honor"

"I groaned all night because your hand was heavy on me." He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. Why? Because the Lord's hand was heavy on him. You praise God for the heavy hand of God on your life. His wrath would be to not be heavy-handed with you. His wrath would be to not let you feel the conviction that's leading you toward holiness. His wrath would be "Do whatever you want." That's his wrath. His heavy-handedness is his love for you.

  Matt Chandler - Sanctification.

Jesus, Fill my mind with your thoughts. Teach me not to be anxious. Teach me not to dwell on the future but teach me how to dwell in your promises. Lord, I lift up all my burdens and anxieties as your word says, to make my requests known to you so now I receive the peace as promised. I'm going to trust you and I'm going to obey. 

mortification.

Mortification. It isn’t a word you hear much these days. But mortification of sin was what Paul was talking about when he said to the Colossians, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you” (Col. 3:5). He urged the Romans to do the same: “If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom. 8:13).

Putting sin to death is an essential part of the Christian life. But how do we do it? One group we can turn to for guidance is the Puritans. The Puritanism was a 16th- and 17th-century movement that sought to purify worship and practice in the Church of England. As part of their emphasis on the work of the Holy Spirit in bringing about lives of holiness, they wrote a lot about mortification; John Owen even wrote an entire book called On the Mortification of Sin. They offer sound advice for us today.

1. SEE SIN FOR WHAT IT IS

“If the thoughts of death, and the grave, and rottenness, are not pleasant to you, do not let the thoughts of sin be pleasant. Listen to every temptation to sin as you would listen to a temptation to self-murder, and as you would do if the devil brought you a knife and tempted you to cut your throat with it; so do when he offers you the bait of sin.”

 —Richard Baxter

2. DON’T WAIT FOR SINFUL DESIRES TO CHANGE ON THEIR OWN

“We must not indulge our inclinations, as we do little children, till they grow weary of the thing they are unwilling to let go. We must not continue our sinful practices in hopes that the divine grace will one day overpower our spirits, and make us hate them for their own deformity.”

—Henry Scougal

3. EXAMINE YOURSELF REGULARLY

“The longer you delay, the more your sin gets strength and rooting. If you cannot bend a twig, how will you be able to bend it when it is a tree? If you cannot pluck up a tender plant, are you likely to pluck up a sturdy oak?”

—Richard Baxter

4. DON’T TRY TO DO IT WITHOUT THE SPIRIT

“It is the Spirit alone that can mortify sin; he is promised to do it, and all other means without him are empty and vain. How shall he, then, mortify sin that has not the Spirit? A man may easier see without eyes, speak without a tongue, than truly mortify one sin without the Spirit.”

—John Owen

5. DON’T TRY TO DO IT WITHOUT OTHER PEOPLE

“Woe to him that is alone! David was alone when Satan drew him to defile his neighbor’s wife. While the sheep flock together they are safe, as being under the shepherd’s eye. But if one straggle from the rest, it is quickly a prey to the ravenous wolf. It is no hard matter to rob that house that stands far from neighbors. The cruel pirate Satan watches for those vessels that sail without a convoy.”

—George Swinnock

6. EXPECT TO FIGHT SIN YOUR WHOLE LIFE

“Let no man think to kill sin with few, easy, or gentle strokes. He who has once smitten a serpent, if he does not follow on his blow until he be slain, may repent that ever he began the quarrel. And so will he who undertakes to deal with sin and pursues it not constantly to death. Sin will after a while revive, and the man must die. It is a great and fatal mistake if we suppose this work will admit of any remissness or intermission.”

—John Owen

http://theresurgence.com/2013/06/11/the-puritans-on-putting-sin-to-death

God: am I enough? Olive: yes.. You are. I'm just saying that I'd also like to be appreciated and loved by certain people the way I think I need. But, if this is your will for me to grow, love, and get closer to you, give me the humility to obey. I know I'm stubborn in nature, but help me be stubborn in fixing my eyes on you and your kingdom.

Reckon yourself dead. It's biblical.

It's awesome when you come home after a really long and difficult day at work and your mom listens to you ranting and trying to explain the excruciating process of working with logos and crazy clients and then she lays her hands on you to pray before you go to sleep.

My flesh and spirit are waging war within me. The spirit desires to abide in the truth and persevere in surrendering and trusting God. My flesh on the other hand demands God to give me immediate comfort and ease as if that’s what I deserve. When I don’t get what I want, my flesh leads me to throw a tantrum or want to give up.

Gotta walk in the spirit.

1 John. Whoever does not love abides in death.

You're using everything to sanctify me.