Carey Mulligan in The Great Gatsby (2013) | Promising Young Woman (2020)

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

Here’s johnny

ok ill bite who is taylor swift

i asked my bf if he ran a bar what kind of bar would he have and he said “jungle themed bar. with trees and a dirt floor” i asked what kind of animals he’d have at the jungle bar and he said “the ant with the worlds most painful bite.”

He loves club life

when ur reading fanfic and one character was cooking and the other comes up to them and they start making out and everyones like starting to take their shirts off and the author STILL hasnt mentioned anyone turning off the stove

hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

ever since i was a little girl i've always wanted a hysterectomy

it’s been a productive 73,000 years

Libraries are the fucking best. You can just go there. And sit. And read. And do other stuff but I'm reading atm so that's my example. And it's free.

Enemy spotted

name them. now.