My biggest fear is taking a screenshot of a convo and accidentally sending it to the same person 

THIS IS PROBABLY THE FUNNIEST CARD I’VE EVER PLAYED IN CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY

what if i ordered pizza in the middle of the hurricane.

To go to sleep, you have to pretend to be asleep until you actually are.

prostitute!dean accepting the offer of one strange castiel novak to live with him in his huge-ass mansion and act like his boyfriend whenever he’s at home, simply because the rich entrepeneur doesn’t have the time to take care of an actual boyfriend, yet still craves the intimacy and casual touches and having someone to come home to

and at first, it’s a bit strange for dean; it’s not like he’s not used to men wanting to fuck him or something like that, but he usually doesn’t move in with them and smile all sweetly and kind when they come home after a long day

especially because castiel seldom even has the energy to make use of what dean can do best – having sex, that is. so they most often fall asleep after dean has forced castiel to eat the dinner dean specifically cooked for him and ushered him into bed, with cas simply spooning dean from behind and pressing a few slow kisses to his neck

(and when they do have sex, it’s often castiel who takes care of dean and gets him off with his mouth and fingers and then goes to sleep right after. he claims he enjoys the image of dean writhing on his tongue and coming all over himself much more than he enjoys getting off himself and rather spends his energy on this than getting an orgasm of his own)

and it’s all rather weird and domestic, but the whole setting also allows dean to study during the day in order to finish the degree he’s doing long-distance, and it also means that he hasn’t have to work the streets at night and get himself into all kinds of dangers, so it’s just good for dean and makes his life easy and safe in a way it hasn’t been for years

the worst/best thing is, though, that dean gets used to it – not just the high-class standard of the mansion and all of the free time he has to himself, but also cooking something for cas and actually looking forward to his return. to talking to cas and eating with him and sleeping with him. he gets used to the hands he’s being touched with not trying to hurt and use him, but for them to pet and caress and take care of him and to take pleasure in his pleasure

he gets used to having a boyfriend, only that cas isn’t his boyfriend, not really

and things get strange and tense for a while, and even though dean tries to pull back a bit, all he manages to do is draw closer and to accept every touch and kind word; hell, he even buries his face into cas’ neck one night and begs him not to leave him alone as much, and on top of this being the probably most humilitating moment of his life, it’s even worse when cas actually complies and starts leaving work early to spend more time with dean and to have more energy to pleasure him

it’s also cas who takes that last, terrifying step and kisses dean all sweetly and softly one day and tells him that he loves him, has done so for a long time already

and that’s the last day they’re being pretend boyfriends

and the first they become real ones

I hear explosions outside.

I stand up from my bed.

I walk toward my window.

I look to the sky.

I see fireworks launched by my neighbours.

I open the window.

My neighbours are singing the Star Spangled Banner.

In their garden, little American flags in their bands.

You don’t see anything weird, do you ?

Well I’ll tell you.

I’m french.

And I’m in fucking France right now.

sext: i want to be good for your mental health

Jared Padalecki [1/4]

Don’t tell your daughter

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

hagrid:

“its not every day your young man turns eleven now, is it?”

*cries when harry has to be left with the dursleys*  *spends the first term asking harry’s parents’ friends for pictures of them to give to harry at christmas* *invites harry and friends round for tea and a natter once a week* *cares a lot about harry’s wellbeing and safety* *cheers him on at quidditch every single match*

fandom: sirius was the closest thing harry had to a parent

the signs + spooning

big spoon: aries, cancer, virgo, scorpio, sagittarius, aquarius

little spoon: taurus, gemini, leo, libra, capricorn, pisces

Oh Lawdy *fans self-

When Dean wakes up from an afternoon nap with Castiel’s half-hard cock pressing into his hip, it’s only natural that he lets his hands wander.  He only gets a little grumbly protest when he shifts and turns both their bodies, his fingers sliding down Castiel’s bare side as he settles Cas down on his back.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Dean teases, smiling against his lover’s throat before he presses a wet kiss, then another as he pushes his fingers under the waistband of Castiel’s boxers.

He doesn’t get an answer; probably because he doesn’t give Cas a chance to answer before he’s got a loose grip on his cock, stroking slowly.  Dean lifts his head, pressing kisses to the line of Castiel’s jaw, his strokes barely more than a tease.  Cas pushes his hips up, clumsy and tentative, pushing his cock into the circle of Dean’s fist, his breath hissing out when Dean’s fingers tighten just the tiniest bit.

Dean presses kiss after biting kiss to Castiel’s throat, lifting his head between each to watch the draw of Castiel’s brow.  His eyes are still closed, his lip caught between his teeth as Dean’s fingers slip the length of his cock.  His breath goes a little shallower and more ragged with each lazy flick of Dean’s wrist.

“Mm,” is the first sound Castiel makes; not a moan exactly, but a rumble that vibrates his whole chest and ends in a breathy “oh” as he pushes his boxers out of the way impatiently.  His fingers slide through Dean’s hair before wrapping around the back of Dean’s neck to pull him in for a kiss.

Keep reading

john: seriously, this guy, a junkie ????

sherlock, blushing: omg , john listen, this is so cute and sweet, but ur about to embarrass yourself real bad

Dean with his back up against the headboard, Sam straddling his lap and riding his cock with one hand braced against the wall and the other flat against his brother’s chest (Dean loves that, the feel of Sam’s weight anchoring him down to the earth), and Dean putting a hand up to touch his brother’s face because they’ve been fucking for years but Dean still gets the breath punched out of him at the sight of Sam nestled tight down over his cock and he’s dragging rough fingers through Sam’s hair when Sam curls forward in a sudden rictus and there’s a deep unfamiliar hiss as Sam’s hair goes taut between them. Dean’s wrung a lot of sounds out of his brother but this is new, a primal wet gasp from the back of his throat, and Dean trying again, watching this time, and seeing Sam’s face melt open, all slack mouth and blush-bright cheeks and heavy want-dazed eyes, and that’s how Dean discovers Sam’s hair pulling kink.

I completely forgot to share a link on here last week, but chapters 22 and 23 are now online! Go read it and tell me what you guys think! :D

Orange is the New Black - [5/10] inmates: Marisol ‘Flaca’ Gonzales

You know when I wear that apron in the kitchen, I’m really wearing it ironically.