This is so not a funny time but Toni Braxton managing to misspell the name of every person in this photo including her own ended me

Meirl

have you ever thought about how in the versions of the spider-man canon where Peter’s web shooting is accomplished by technology rather than being an actual superpower that means he really just….could have…very easily not done that. like he could have had any weapon. he could have had weapons he didn’t have to invent himself and build from scratch. but they wouldn’t have been spider-themed so he just. he did that. for the Aesthetic.

accept her

Depression meal 639

family size bag of tortilla chips at a slow but constant rate over a 12 hour period

Some guy in Ancient Greece, pointing at a perfectly climbable mountain: There are gods up there!

The rest of Ancient Greece: Sick, no need to fact check that 

man i had a dream that magic was discovered in the near future

but it was like. shitty unbalanced fantasy magic. like within a few weeks people had wikis and guides up on how to glitch in immortality potions and time spells. people are just tossing homemade black holes around. i looked on the news and saw some speedrunner made it to the edge of the universe

y'all ugly

Therapists are just…. Common sense filters

1:35 AM. 15 April 1912. RMS Titanic. Engine Room.

Well If I Dont Get Pampered I Wither And Die

I Need Kisses And Praise Every Day To Get By

Lest I Curl Up And Shrivel Like Salt On A Slug

Or A Hunk Of Cured Meat Or A Foul Little Bug

Thats What Happens To My Tapir Body, You See

If I Dont Get My Kisses This Happens To Me.

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: “…nah, I can’t eat this dude, that would be fucked up”