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This is the culmination of YEARS of shitposting!
Ra | She/her/hers | 24Piers from Pokémon ruined my fucking lifeI let myself succumb to the Kylo Ren fervour and now I’m paying the fucking price
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being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors
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oooh yas! #16 and 20 for Kylo pwease 😗✌🏻
16: “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed.”
20: “Shut up and kiss me.”
Word count: 1630
Warnings: Kylo Ren cannot flirt... like, at all. He’s awkward as shit.
Notes: The song Sugaan Essena comes from the Jedi: Fallen Order video game (the one Cal listens to on Bracca/plays in the Haxion Brood fighting pit). It kinda slaps so give it a listen if you’re interested.
“Are you flirting with me?”
It had started a few weeks ago, and at first you had thought nothing of it - but now you were convinced that Commander Ren was following you.
Everywhere you went he would conveniently pop up, and you were just a mechanic, what interest could be possibly have in you?
One day you had been under a TIE Fighter, making minor repairs and when someone cleared their throat you pushed yourself out, only to be met with Kylo Ren towering over you. You had sat up, reaching for a cloth to wipe the grease off your hands.
"Sir? Did you need something?" You asked.
You weren't particularly afraid of Ren in the same way a majority of officers were, after all what did you have to be scared of? You were a mechanic who really had nothing to do with him, therefore he had no reason to take any of his anger out on you. Or maybe you were just more level headed than a majority of the other officers, you just didn't understand what made him so scary.
"I-Uh... nothing." He said before turning tail and storming off.
You furrowed your brow, more confused than anything, but you had been quick to shake it off and get back to your work.
Another day he had approached you outside the mess hall, but just as he had opened his mouth to say something to you, he had closed it and kept walking.
These sorts of interactions were becoming strangely common in your everyday routine. But you weren't necessarily complaining, since Kylo Ren had stopped wearing his mask it had become a lot easier to address him when you could see his face. He was undeniably handsome, you and your fellow mechanics had had a pool going about his appearance and you were actually glad you had lost - your bet had been that he had a horribly scarred and disfigured face. But he only had one scar, it split across his face from his forehead to down below his clothing. Somehow it added to his appearance, you quite liked the rugged look.
Today you were working on Ren's Silencer, although compared to TIE Fighters it was more than a routine fix. The whole ship was so trashed you were tempted to write it off and send message to High Command that Ren would need a new ship, but you elected against that, after all you loved a challenge.
You had your headphones in, listening to 'Sugaan Essena.' It was an old song, one popular right at the beginning of the Empire's reign, but it was a great song to work to. Perhaps your music was a bit too loud, but you hadn't heard someone approaching and presumably trying to get your attention.
When you felt the mechanic's creeper you were lying on be pulled out from under the Silencer you were startled, and managed to hit your head on the way out.
"Ow!" You complained.
Groaning you pulled out your headphones and were rubbing the spot on your head that was probably going to bruise slightly.
You were met by Kylo Ren's face, looking incredibly guilty and slightly red with embarrassment.
"Yes Sir?" You grumbled, not overly happy with the abrasive interruption.
"Are you okay?" He sheepishly asked, and you nodded.
"I've done worse." You tried to lighten the mood, but his face didn't move an inch. In fact, he just fell silent.
"You're not wearing regulation uniform." He pointed out, and you raised an eyebrow, had he really interrupted you for that? You never wore your uniform properly.
Your regulation jumpsuit was usually tied around your waist, and you just wore a tight, black long sleeved top underneath. It was more comfortable that way, even though that wasn't strictly how it was supposed to be worn.
"Sorry Commander." Your tone was rather dry as you began to undo the sleeves which were knotted together around your waist, but he interjected.
"No, I didn't mean-" He spluttered and you paused to look at him, utterly confused, "I-it looks good, I mean. You look good." He commented, before once again turning tail to stomp away.
He didn't even give you a chance to respond, but you definitely put that one up at the top of your list of 'weird interactions with Commander Ren.' You still couldn't believe that there was a list - you were so oblivious you found yourself constantly wondering what his problem with you was.
A few days went by without any weird interactions, but you did notice Ren lurking in your peripheral vision multiple times. He never approached, which made it even weirder.
Finally you reached your limit with Commander Ren following you around when you were working on his Silencer for your third shift in a row and somehow every day you seemed to be fixing the cooling system. You were a good mechanic - no, you were a great mechanic, and there was no way something as simple as the cooling system was continuously breaking on a daily basis.
"Boss, can you get Commander Ren down here?" You called to your supervisor, who looked at you, confused.
"Are you serious Y/N? Why would you want him down here?" He replied to you.
"Because I have a theory that he's purposely sabotaging this kriffing cooling system." You shrugged. It made sense after all, he seemed to be the one finding every excuse to be near you. Now maybe he was trying to keep you working on his ship.
"Are you seriously asking me to summon the Commander Kylo Ren down here so you can accuse him of something? You must have a death wish." He laughed dryly, and you rolled your eyes.
"He's really not as terrifying as you make out." You shrugged.
"Not terrifying? Y/N I saw him use that glow stick of his to rip apart an entire computer console the other day - gives me the shivers just thinking 'bout it. But if you want him down here, that's on you." He snorted, turning away to go and request the Commander's presence.
You shook your head in disbelief at the fear a grown man had for... well, just another man, and rolled yourself back beneath the Silencer to fix this cooling system for what had better be the last time.
A few minutes later someone cleared their throat and you pushed yourself out to be greeted once again by Kylo Ren. You definitely hadn't expected him to arrive so quickly, although you were just glad this time he hadn't opted to pull you out from underneath the ship himself.
"What seems to be the problem?" He asked, and you narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious.
"Sir, I think you already know what the problem is." You challenged him.
"I was told it's the cooling system." He casually said, and you could tell he was shifting slightly, clearly trying not to run from the conversations like he always did.
"The cooling system which has broken three times." You weren't afraid of him, honestly he didn't look like he could hurt a fly the way he seemed so awkward around you. Although really you knew that wasn't true.
"Oh- I-uh, I wonder why that it. Maybe it needs replacing altogether." He suggested.
"That would be a long job for something that should be a quick fix." You pointed out. You weren't stupid, you knew Kylo Ren knew his way around a ship, he was a skilled pilot, he definitely knew a lot of the mechanics behind it.
"I'm sure you can handle that. You're a very-" He cleared his throat, "A very skilled mechanic." His comment confirmed your suspicions, and a smirk began to tug at the corner of your lips.
"Sir, are you flirting with me?" You finally asked the question which had been plaguing your mind. The following you around, making awkward comments, it all just added up.
A look of relief crossed his face, and his posture relaxed, "you finally noticed." He said.
You wondered what he saw in you, after all you were just a mechanic, not some general or war hero. Even with your hair swept up into a ponytail and grease marks all over of your face from a day's work he was somehow interested in you.
"I can't say you're a natural, Commander." You tried to tease him to break the ice, and when he actually smiled at you you realised that he knew you weren't afraid of him. You were probably the only person on base who didn't live in fear of him, and perhaps that's what he liked.
"I haven't had a lot of practise." He sheepishly said, and you stood up, as usual using a cloth to wipe off your hands and face.
"I've seen worse." You reassured him, with a small chuckle. In truth you hadn't seen much worse, you hadn't actually had many people flirt with you at all actually. This was the First Order not a cantina bar in the outer rim.
You walked on board the Silencer, away from prying eyes, and he got the hint and followed you.
"I'm sorry if I was too forward, or made you uncomfortable. I just- I didn't know how to get your attention, and I thought I was being subtle but then there was the time I accidentally hit your head and-" He was rambling and you cut him off by boldly placing a finger to his lips.
"With all due respect Commander, you could just shut up and kiss me." You suggested, and this time he didn't hesitate.
His lips met yours in a passionate embrace and you pulled yourself towards him by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. For all he lacked in flirting skills, he made up for with this kiss.
Turns out his flirting must have somewhat done the trick, because that wasn't the last time Kylo Ren kissed you and it wasn't long before he saw you promoted to Chief Mechanic.
Only the best for the woman he loved.
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ok headcanon you say... so here you got some crack: kylo noticed his partner winks at her friends or people from her homeworld and he tries to wink at her because he wants to make her feel at home but ... he can’t fucking wink. Its terrifying, he can’t wink, poor girl has to try and not laugh at his inability to wink because he is trying...
I love this one, and this hits home for me because I cannot wink for shit haha
HC: Kylo can’t wink
*w/ a bonus gif of Adam Driver winking from Twitter*
• It’s just a natural thing for you to wink at people you know well/are friends with, especially people on your home world whom you’ve known for years.
• Kylo picks up on it pretty quickly when he visits your home with you, he had never seen you winking at people around the First Order.
• (Mostly because they’re all a bit too stuck up to appreciate or understand the gesture)
• “Why are you winking at everyone?” He asked you.
• “Because it’s just a friendly gesture around here, it’s normal custom!” You jokingly told him.
• Little did you know that he was going to take that and run with it, assuming it was an important planetary tradition that he also had to partake in.
• Once you were back aboard the Finalizer with him, he wanted to start making you feel more at home, so he thought he would try out your planet’s ‘tradition.’
• The first time you saw him attempt to wink you thought it was just a trick of the light, or maybe that he had something in his eye, so you ignored it as you passed each other in the corridor.
• The second time, his wink came out looking like a delayed blink and you had just stared at him with a confused expression,
• Eventually you caught on to what he was trying to do when he had tried so hard to wink that he ended up basically just walking towards you with one eye shut.
• Of course you broke down into fits of uncontrollable laughter for a good few minutes, even though you did appreciate the gesture.
• When you finally recovered he just looked at you and asked deadly seriously “is being able to wink an ability you’re born with on your planet?”
• “Yeah, it’s actually our version of the Force.” You snorted, unable to help the sarcasm. “No, my love, it’s just that some people are better at it than others.” You then had to tell him, still stifling giggles.
• “But how do you do it?” He pressed.
• “I’ll have to teach you.” You couldn’t help but flawlessly wink at him as you teased him.
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ok a little late but I’m still going to send in an ask (congrats on your 300!!) ‘Can you zip me up?’ for Kylo? maybe reader usually doesnt wear dresses and rather wears one of those ghastly uniforms so kylo is a little flustered when he sees her like that (I’m thinking no pre-established relationship but tbh do whatever you like)
You’re never late!! And thank you ❤️
From the 300 follower prompt list: ‘Can you zip me up?’
Warnings: nothing explicit, but you could seriously cut the sexual tension with a knife
Word count: 850
Summary: You’re attending a planet-side event, and your dress is proving to be more difficult than negotiations.
Thankfully you receive some help, just from an unexpected source.
Zip me up?
You hated your drab First Order uniform and would be the first to jump at an opportunity to not wear it, but going from ill-fitting hideous clothes to a tight fitting dress was a big jump. You had never worn such a lavish garment.
The dress complimented your body shape, and you took a moment to look in the mirror at yourself. You looked so different, and it was a welcome change.
"Kriff-" you swore under your breath as you attempted to reach the zipper to secure the dress at the back.
As the First Order's Supreme Counsellor you had been sent to attend a planet-side diplomatic event on Coruscant, with the aim of recruiting more planets to join the First Order. You were excellent at your job, and convincing people to join your cause was something you rarely failed at, but tonight was a little different.
The Supreme Leader was in attendance with you, and staying in the room just next door to your own. Usually you attended negotiations alone, and you weren't sure what Kylo Ren's presence would do to the dynamic between yourself and other guests, but you could adapt at least. You were also used to recruiting and negotiating in less formal conditions, and less formal outfits.
Nevertheless you were determined to keep up your good reputation. You had never worked closely with Kylo Ren, but you weren't afraid of him as so many were, you were confident that you were a crucial part of the First Order - he had no reason to kill you, therefore you had no reason to fear him. After all, he was just a man.
You were still fumbling with your zipper when a knock came at your door. You were well aware of the time, you were due to be arriving at the event any minute now, so you assumed that was your escort.
"It's unlocked!" You called, hands still firmly secured behind your back. You truly were getting your ass kicked by a simple zipper.
To your horror, it wasn't a mere escort, it was the Supreme Leader. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw him approaching. He was wearing formal robes, with a red-lined cape... you had never spent long looking at Kylo Ren to admire him, but now you couldn't help but find yourself enamoured by him, he was actually very handsome.
"Forgive me, Supreme Leader, I wasn't expecting you." You sheepishly said, and he himself looked slightly embarrassed to have caught you in a compromising position.
"I thought I might offer to escort you." He replied. You didn't want to read into that comment, but you couldn't really help yourself - why would he want to escort you?
"That's very kind of you, Supreme Leader, I'll be ready in a moment." You responded. Many would have lost their nerve in a conversation with Kylo Ren, but your very job was to keep your cool in any situation.
After another moment of awkward fumbling whilst Kylo watched, looking even more awkward than you did, you turned to him, "Pardon my manners, Supreme Leader, but could you zip me up?" You finally had to concede and ask him.
He looked taken aback by the request, his cheeks reddening so slightly it was barely noticeable. Nevertheless, he walked over behind you and painstakingly slowly pulled the zip upwards towards the nape of your neck. His movements were so slow and gentle you wondered if he was prolonging them on purpose.
"Kylo," he said quietly, his breath tickling the back of your neck, "you can call me Kylo."
You couldn't deny that this flustered you slightly, even if you didn't show it. But little did you know that Kylo was also flustered. He had never really looked at anyone in a romantic way, but he had undeniably always been captivated by the way you presented and held yourself in and amongst the First Order. Seeing you in the dress, and even then being asked to zip it up, his heart was racing, something he had never expected.
"Thank you... Kylo." You responded, your voice also quiet when he stepped back.
You dress now secured, you took another look at yourself in the mirror. Perhaps you could request a new uniform, one that was less drab and just generally less hideous than the one you usually wore - you liked dressing up.
Satisfied, Kylo offered you his arm, and you took it. It wasn't at all how you expected this evening to begin, but you weren't complaining in the slightest. You were suddenly excited to see how it might end.
"I think a new uniform would suit you." Kylo muttered as you left your room, and you looked at him in disbelief, before reminding yourself that he could read minds. "Maybe one without a zipper on the back."
If you didn't know before, now you were completely certain that you had nothing to fear in the Supreme Leader. In that knowledge, you thought perhaps some harmless flirting might serve you well to cut the growing tension between you both.
"You do seem to be better with zippers than me, perhaps later I'll need your help to unzip too."
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Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens
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"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.
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By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest
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my step mom was asking me more questions about the nonbinary thing and after talking to me for a bit, she said "oh, so youre a rosé! not a chardonnay transitioning to a merlot, just your own unique type" which was such a middle aged white woman way to frame it, but i cannot lie gang. it did make me want to cry
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every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok
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epic... rap battles of history..... puppy .......................versus..................... kitty......................... BEGIN!!!!
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Whenever I see an Ivan Aivazovski painting the sea monster in me goes absolutely feral
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worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean
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character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!
the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!
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last night I had a dream that I met Bill and Ted, and I complimented Bills crop top and said something about how I would wear crop tops if my body was less bogus and he put a hand on my shoulder and said “what’s truly bogus is the way you think about yourself” and Ted nodded solemnly and then I woke up
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Friendly reminder that you should
Write that fic
Draw your OC
Redesign that blorbo
Plan that comic how you want
Create the content you want to see
Be cringe
Be free
The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!
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recently played skyward sword and OOF it's so damn good
prints | also playthrough on my gaming channel!!
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