oakpodcast
OAKPODCAST
Mara and Mica may possibly have slightly fucked up on a global scale, but that doesn't mean they can't make a bad podcast together.
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Look honey, not everything in my life is about Lord of the Rings, okay? Like, for lunch I made myself some bacon and mushrooms, because they really pair perfectly and it’s a filling meal. Now yes, that is technically the same meal that the Hobbits ate in chapter 4 of the Fellowship, but still,
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In college we went to Shabbos dinner at the local Chabad house a lot and they’d renovated their garage into a big dining room where we’d eat. One night their 18 month old baby got into the kitchen and locked the door, effectively locking everyone else out of the house. It then became a game of “How quickly can we break into our own home without breaking any shabbos rules before the baby learns how to open drawers”. The baby was also their most mischievous child and the real danger was less her hurting herself and more that she loved opening and dumping bottles of grape juice and there were so many for her to get her hands on in the kitchen.
Eventually a hockey player tossed their 12 year old on the roof and he wiggled through an open second story window. It was the most fun shabbos dinner I’ve had to date
the chaotic energy of this anecdote is off the charts
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my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in
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Gender? You know that’s not real right? They just made it up to sell more pink and blue explosives to Americans
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we as a community give wayne gretzky far too much credit for being “good” at “hockey” and not nearly enough credit for “trying to singlehandedly end the cold war by kissing every soviet player tenderly on the lips”
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You’ve heard of healing crystals
now get ready for Danger Rocks
Please do not lick any of these
1. Chrysotile
aka Asbestos! It heals lung cancer! heals it from 0HP to full health! it causes cancer do not touch do not lick
okay but this is a cool danger rock, it’s a physical carcinogen. As in, it doesn’t poison you into having cancer, it just has little needle-y bits that LITERALLY STIR UP your DNA and break it, and when the cells try to repair their DNA they get it wrong and you get cancer
2. Torbenite
A super pretty danger rock! it’s a uranium ore and releases radon gas for Extra Poison!
3. Hutchinsonite - (Tl,Pb)2As5S9
This danger rock has it all! Lead! arsenic! Thallium! All super toxic! Will legit kill you
seriously don’t lick this one, i’m looking at you, fellow geologists
thallium doesn’t taste like anything so you’re not even getting data, just poisoned
4. Cinnabar (Mercury sulfide)
Can be a very pretty red color! so it was used to make paint. The paint was super toxic.
In addition to being dangerous to your health, it’s also morally dangerous! someone had to mine it (v dangerous) so even owning it feels unethical
5. Stibnite (Antimony sulfide)
people used to make spoons and makeup and shit out of this, the spoons poisoned people who ate with them. It’s kinda pretty but not worth dying over
6. Orpiment (an arsenic sulfide)
Look how pretty it is!!
“Incorrect handling” WILL poison you, that’s fucking arsenic
Honorable mentions:
Malachite, if eaten or… you know ;) (warning: nsfw, THat Post)
Galena (lead sulfide), don’t eat it or break the rock and you’ll probably be ok, the dust is the main danger
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It didn’t originally air near my birth date, but Googling the month and year revealed that this apparently happened just before it. Feels ominously on-brand:
youtube
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Yo when’s the DSM-6 gonna drop? I have strange and unhealthy behaviors not yet described by current disorders
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WHY DOES HOT TOPIC HAVE A MILITARY DISCOUNT. who returns home after killing people in afghanistan and is like phew now i can get 20% off on my todoroki merch 😌
#this post personally came to my van and punched me in the face#i'm in this photo and i don't like it
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How to pass in public as a gender the public doesn’t know about
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This is the first picture I was given of my unborn son
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change your name and gender at least twice a year for security reasons
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The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off
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