1 Timothy

Ugh. This verse. 1 Timothy 2: 11-14, commanding all women to be silent and to not have authority over a man, has been use to justify centuries of abuse. This is another really hard verse to understand and to justify.

This verse is also a contradiction in the Bible, as we see plenty of women teaching and holding authority in other books. The way that I see it is that the Bible explores how different humans come into contact with God. Stories contradict each other because it is different people writing their unique experiences. This was how Timothy and Paul interpreted God’s word, and others interpreted it differently. This allows for free will and for everyone to experience God in their own way. The problem comes with human sin making way for abuse and hurt. That’s how I see it at least .

1 Thessalonians

Another letter to another ancient church. Another letter telling people not to fornicate. This one, however, has a really cool verse about God’s feelings about lust.

As I mentioned in a past post, fornication, concupiscence, and lust includes sexual assault and abuse. The quote comes from chapter 4 verse 6: “that no man go beyond and defraud his brother because the Lord is the avenger of all such….”

I felt so much joy reading about how God is the avenger of those who are victims of lust. Of course we know that rape is a crime of power, not lust, but the idea still stands. God is the defender of the survivor, as we have seen time and time again.

Colossians 1

1 Colossians, a letter by Paul, warns against fornication and evil concupiscence in chapter 3 verse 5.

Fornication is traditionally defined as extramarital sex, but more broadly it can mean any type of sex that is immoral, including rape.

I had to look up concupiscence, but it means lustful longing. Many people accused of rape say that it was too tempting and that they could not help themselves. That’s a lie, you can always control yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Again, it’s not explicit that rape is included in these sinful acts, but through other context clues in the Bible we can infer that it is included implicitly.

Ephesians

Another infamous verse; Ephesians 22, “wives, submit to your husbands…”. This verse has been used throughout history so subjugate women and girls, and has been used to excuse violence.

As usual, people don’t read past this verse. Ephesians 25 tells husbands to love their wives as they love themselves. Paul uses the metaphor of caring for one’s own body to show how one should care for his wife. Of course this does still show ownership as was customary at the time the letter was written, but it clearly states not to abuse or misuse your spouse.

Another verse, Ephesians 31, talks about husband and wife becoming of one flesh. This verse has also been historically used in the same fashion as the previous one. Again, this has nothing to do with the wife being forced to do things she does not wish to do. That would be misusing her, which goes against verse 25.

If only people would read these verses with their surrounding context.

Corinthians

I definitely have my own opinions about Paul, but that will not be the main focus of any discussions I post about his letters. This passage, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5, is often use to keep women in subjugation under men. Specifically, it is used to justify marital rape.

One thing that is often not mentioned is the equality in this passage for husbands and wives not to deny each other. While it is rape for anyone to forgo someone’s right to consent, it is interesting that most only read the first part of verse 4.

I’d also like to mention that Paul says it is okay to deny one another when it is a mutual agreement. It should always lead to a mutual agreement when one does not wish to have sex, so that is one way to read it. We must also remember that this was written in a time where procreation was more important for the survival of the human race, so not having sex was a bigger cause of worry than nowadays. Again, not to say that anyone should ignore someone if they ask not to have sex. The previous statement is to give historical context.

The biggest takeaway here is to not let someone use this verse to coerce you into sex. That is, as always, ignoring context and the full intent of the passage.

Romans

I’ve been wanting to write about these passages since I started this endeavor. Romans 1: 24 and 26-27. are two very controversial passages, especially among those in the LGBTQIA+ community, which I am a part of.

In this passage, Paul admonishes the Romans for their sexual immoralities. Specifically, “degrading their bodies with one another” and “women exchanging natural sexual relations with unnatural ones”. Verse 27 mentions men “flaming with lust for one another.”

This passage is the most clear and harsh admonishment of LGBTQIA+ people in the Bible, but all hope is not lost for those in the community who are also Christian.

We must remember not only the context of this letter to the Romans, but also the fact that the Bible is a grouping of hundreds of different interpretations of God’s message by various people. This message was specifically written for the ancient Roman people, not for everyone. It was written for a situation happening in the early Roman church, with no other population in mind.

We must also remember that, like seen in Leviticus, the sexual relations mentioned between men were alluding to those between men and young boys. We do not know the specifics of the sexual acts Paul is speaking about, but through cultural and historical context it is safe to say that this might be the same in Romans.

We must also remember that these passages are speaking about the sin of lust, not regular and safe love between a couple or lovers. Lust is defined as sexual desire that takes one away from a healthy relationship with themselves, others, or God. It is unhealthy sex without care for one’s self, others, or moderation. The sin here isn’t homosexuality or healthy sexuality, but unhealthy lust.

For survivors of assault, we can take heart in this passage like we can in many others I have discussed where immoral sex is chastised. Sex should always be safe and fully consented to for both or all parties. I believe this is what Paul is getting at here, as he makes it clear that the lusts of the people are distracting them from God.

The Wedding

Now I’m into the book of John, and this passage is not explicitly about sexual assault, but it highlights something I think is very important when understanding Jesus.

This is the story of Jesus’ first miracle (John 2: 2-12). The point I’d like to point out is how Jesus includes His mother in His first miracle.

This was not something he had to do, and though the translations might sound demeaning in their tone, Jesus is going out of His way to include his mother in this action of His

Jesus asks Mary why He is being involved in this matter of the lack of wine at a wedding, but He allows her to tell the servants to listen to his orders, thus making way for a miracle to be performed.

This is just one nice moment of Jesus including women in His ministry, which is a theme we see throughout the Gospels, no matter how much it is shoved to the background due to misogynistic societies and authors.

Happy Holy Saturday

I had this thought during the Maundy Thursday service at my church and it really stuck with me. Thanks be to God.

Jesus shared his body and blood with his friends. Sharing pieces of him didn’t make him less whole, it made him even more whole by sharing something so intimately.

It made me think about how a lot of purity culture sermons talk about how every time you have sex, or “give away your body”, you lose a part of yourself.

This is especially harmful for people who have experienced sexual assault. I wonder if God put this thought in my head to connect these two events. Sharing your body with someone doesn’t take anything away, especially if you were sharing your body by force.

The Annunciation

I was very excited to get to Luke, as it’s my favorite of the gospels. My cathedral was also named for St. Luke, and I feel a strong pull to this story specifically.

The annunciation (Luke 1: 26-38) is the even in which the Angel Gabriel tells Mary that she will bare the savior, Jesus. What stands out specifically is verse 38, where Mary agrees to this plan.

Something that I have only heard about more recently is the celebration of Mary’s agreement. In other words; Mary gave consent.

Mary agrees to this plan from God, and we celebrate that in the annunciation. It makes me really happy to see this pointed out now in the space that I am in and celebrating it.

Mark

Again, it’s been a while, but I’m back.

I remember stumbling blocks being talked about a lot as a child. Mostly in the idea that you should not cause another to stumble, aka sin. In purity culture, this is usually mentioned in the context of a girl’s sexuality. In these cases, the person teaching is often blaming a girl for a boy or a man’s lust towards her.

Mark 9:43 also talks about stumbling blocks. It also says this; “if your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off…”. I think it is pretty clear here to see that Jesus is saying the blame of sin is on the person sinning, not who is being sinned against.

A lot of the blame for my assault and abuse was pinned on me. It is nice to have a reminder about who truly is to blame.

Mark

It’s been a while, but I’ve made it to Mark. What I just read was not explicitly about sexual assault, but it really hit me emotionally.

The passage was Mark 7:14. Jesus states multiple times that nothing that goes inside a person can defile them. For context, He is talking about the law and speaking to why the disciples were eating before ritually washing their hands.

It was the phrasing that got to me. As a survivor of rape, I often feel like my body is dirty, especially because I was a virgin. I’ve struggled a lot in purity culture and feeling whole after my assaults. I know that when the Lord was on the cross, He experienced the pain of every single sin. This includes rape. Knowing that my Christ also knows so intimately the pain I experienced really gets to me emotionally, and really helps me connect to passages like this in a different context.

Jesus goes on to say that it is what comes out of the body that makes us unclean. He mentioned sexual immorality here, and in this case he means thoughts and deeds that come from within. He is saying that it is the act of the perpetrator that makes them unclean; the victim is not made unclean by what was done to them.

Again, I know this is not the original context of this passage, but the phrasing and my personal experience really showed me this interpretation. I really felt the Divine speaking to me while reading this.

Ezekiel

The next passage I found was in Ezekiel (Ezekiel 18:11). It is another small one, but it talks about an evil man who “defiles his neighbor’s wife” among other crimes. The passage states that this man should and will be put to death.

This passage is another confirmation that the Bible views rape as a crime. It is used in this passage as an example of an evil act.

Lamentations

There was a pretty long skip until I was able to find the next verse about abuse and assault. It is mentioned in Lamentations that women were assaulted in Zion and Judah (Lamentations 5:11).

Lamentations is all about the suffering of the people during a time of war and conquest. These assaults are mentioned in a list of other horrible things that have happened and will happen to the people. It is not stated that this is a punishment to the men, as it is in other passages. As horrible as it is, it does feel validating to see it in a list as a horrible thing to happen. Though, of course I do wish it never happened at all.

Isaiah

The next passage I found was all the way in Isaiah (Isaiah 13:16). This passage is a warning against Babylon as a part of a prophecy of the Day of the Lord. What it talks about here is the plight of the sinners, and how their wives will be violated.

This type of thing is used as an example of suffering a lot in the Bible. Women were property, and therefore this raping was seen as the men’s property being conquered. It’s hard to read things like this in the Bible, and especially about the Day of the Lord. I have never heard much about Isaiah and have not even heard much of this side of apocalyptic literature. It’s ok not to know what to think about these passages, and I would love to find some good references so I can read more about the context for this passage.

Xerxes and Esther

This is another event I’ve been wanting to talk about (Esther 2: 12-14). Esther, a young Jewish girl living under the rule of Persia, is taken to the court of King Xerxes. The king is looking for a new bride and queen, and his men take many beautiful young women to be his.

The wording of this passage is very telling. The Bible states that when it was her turn to go to the king, a woman would spend the night with him and in the morning go from the harem to the home of the concubines. As in this time, marriage was determined by consummation, and concubines are officially secondary wives, it is safe to assume that the king would sleep with every woman before deciding who would be his queen. Esther had no choice in this matter, and neither did any of the other women that were taken to the king. This is rape. Esther became queen, which meant she had the privileges of the queen; but she still had to sleep with the king whenever he wanted and provide an heir. Esther was put under extreme power with no way of saying no.

In my personal story, my abuser proposed to me after I told him I would not sleep with him until marriage. This was around the time when the sexual abuse ramped up. I love the story of Esther because I can relate to her in terms of forced marriage and rape. I was not married to my abuser in the end, but I was so brainwashed and pressured by him that I didn’t really have a choice but to say yes. I hope the strength that Esther gains in her marriage and the strength of her resolve and character in later chapters helps other survivors like me in their healing process.

Absalom

This is still more of a continuation of the previous events. I’m not going to go through too much more of this story, as I would like to focus more on the actual events of assault in the Bible, but this one counts in my book.

This event happens years after Absalom kills his brother Amnon for raping their sister Tamar (2 Samuel 16:15-23). Absalom has returned from hiding, to which David forgives him for the murder and welcomes him home. David; however, forbids Absalom from seeing him in person. After years of this, Absalom grows angry and starts a revolution against David. David eventually has to flee, and Absalom goes to the palace. While there, Absalom’s advisers tell him to take the ten concubines that David left to care for the palace, and rape them. Absalom agrees, and he takes the concubines up to the roof, where he rapes them for all of the kingdom to witness.

I had never heard of this story before, and it absolutely horrified me. To see Absalom, who fought for a victim of rape, go on to rape his father’s wives in public, was horrific. I felt really sick after reading this, and had a long talk with God about how I should interpret it and about how awful it was to read. I ended up reading some articles about this incident, and I did come across a lot that showed how Absalom in these chapters exhibited the common traits of an abuser. This is one way to read it, and this passage could be used to teach the signs of an abuser and how to avoid them.

The description of Absalom and his actions and traits remind me a lot of my abuser. It was actually quite validating to read about a man so similar to the man who abused me, and see what happened to him. I struggle with feelings of never getting justice for what happened to me, but the ending of this story was cathartic. As much as I would not wish death on someone, the poetic justice of the end of Absalom is cathartic to read. I have noticed that acts of justice usually follow perpetrators in the Bible.

Absalom and Amnon

The punishment Amnon receives for raping his sister does not come until two years later. Absalom, his brother, had despised Amnon for raping their sister, and he formed a plan to get revenge on her behalf. Absalom invites Amnon and his other brothers to watch his sheep being shorn. Absalom instructs his men to kill Amnon when he is drunk, so they do. The other princes flee, and a servant tells David that his sons have all been killed. This is misinformation, and David is later told that it was only Amnon that was murdered. It is then stated that Absalom goes into hiding for three years, and David still longed to see him.

This is a direct continuation of the incident regarding Tamar and Amnon ( 2 Samuel 13: 23-39). I see the first act of violence that Nathan warned David of as punishment for raping Bathsheba as the death of their first son. The rape of Tamar I believe is the second violent act, and Amnons murder is the third. There are many more to come from this point. It is interesting to see how David longed to see Absalom, even when he killed his son that he himself should have punished severely for raping his daughter.

The continuation of these events are hard to read, and there’s a lot not said; such as why David never punished Absalom, and how he felt about Absalom murdering his brother in terms of it also being a crime. Amnon’s punishment as a rapist should have come in a different way, but the punishment was death and that is what he got.