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nordschleifes · 10 hours

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the prophecy

➝ jenson didn't want money, just someone who wanted his company. is that too much to ask for?

➝ word count: 4k

➝ warnings: mentions of death, alcohol, and a particular bad time for jenson

➝ author's note: well, the last two weeks have been horrible, i completely doubted my ability as a writer and my health decided to abandon me in every way. i still don't feel very good and i really think i should give up everything, but ally won't let me, so here we have another one-shot that i had shelved out of frustration with myself. enjoy!

Driving down that street was bittersweet.

The night was beautiful. The sky was spectacularly clear and the silver light of the moon illuminated the gentle waves of the Mediterranean. The pleasant breeze disguised the heat that had been on the French Riviera all day.

However, you weren't looking at the goosebumps in your arms or the stars twinkling in the sky. Your eyes were fixed on the large butter-colored house that stood discreetly among the shady trees just to his left.

As you stopped the MINI you had rented at Nice airport, you allowed yourself to roll down the window and contemplate those familiar walls.

It felt like an eternity since you had last been there, walking up the stone steps, the gray mixed with red. You closed your eyes, trying not to pay attention to your stomach, which churned at the memory. However, it was something you couldn't help.

After all, that had been your last sight of John Button.

You clearly remembered the day you had met him. Wearing a white shirt and with red cheeks from the heat in Melbourne, he approached you and your boss, Richard, with a wide smile. After some typically English jokes about the intense sun, he invited the two of you to join him at the table where he was sitting with his daughter-in-law, Jessica, and son, Jenson.

It was with that moment in mind that you noticed something strange in the house.

With the swaying of the tree branches that covered the facade, you could see that the front of the residence was illuminated, as if there was a light on. In addition to being sure that no one was in the house, you were almost certain that you hadn't left any lights on the last time you were there.

“Someone broke in”, you thought, rummaging through your bag for your house keys.

After typing a message to Jenson, stating that you had seen something strange at John's house and that you would check out what was going on, you made your way to the main gate, finding it ajar.

— My God — you murmured, as you followed the path in silence. With wide eyes, you were trying to make out the sharp sound that mixed with the rustling of leaves and the waves of the sea when a particular loud noise made you jump.

Taking your phone from your pocket, you rolled your eyes when you read the name on the caller ID. “Bad timing”, you thought, as you dragged your finger across the screen and brought the device to your ear.

— Now I can't, Jenson, I'm here at John's house…

However, instead of a humorous comment or an ironic question, you heard a loud sob.

— Y/N — Jenson murmured, taking a sniff.

— Are you crying?

— I'm here, Y/N.

— Here? Jenson, where are you?

— Here — he stammered, before crying again, this time louder.

So loud that you realized what he was talking about.

Walking a few more meters, you saw the staircase that led to the front door of the house, as well as a man sitting on the steps, accompanied by a half-empty bottle of whiskey and his face wet with tears, leaning against the wall next to him.

— Jenson! — you exclaimed, hanging up your phone and running towards him. Climbing the steps two at a time, you approached the driver practically out of breath, your heart almost coming out of your mouth — Jenson, are you okay? What happened? What are you doing here?

He looked at you with a blank stare.

— Y/N…

— Jenson, tell me, what are you doing here?

— I want my father — the driver replied softly, the words dragging on his tongue. Holding his face, you noticed more tears falling from his eyes — Where is my father?

— Jense — you murmured, before pulling him towards you for a hug. With his head buried in the crook of your neck, he cried loudly, his gasps making his entire body shake and your eyes filling with tears. You allowed them to fall from your eyes as you blinked a little harder, tightening your arms around him.

— He wasn't supposed to come alone — he stammered against his shoulder, before looking up and sniffling — He couldn't, he shouldn't…

— I know, Jense, I know — you replied, running your hand over his face to dry the tears.

— He died alone, Y/N — Jenson murmured — He died without anyone by his side. My father died alone, without anyone…

You pressed your lips together, feeling more tears streaming down your face. It was ironic and particularly sad, considering how loved John was by everyone around him. Dying like that, in the open and completely alone, was something you didn't wish on anyone.

— I don't want to be alone — he continued, rubbing his nose — I don't want to be alone, I don't, I don't…

— You won't be alone — you said, trying to calm him down, as the driver reached for the bottle of whiskey, taking a large gulp before you could protest or stop him.

— I will, Y/N — he replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand — I will, I know I will...

— No, you won't — you said, as Jenson brought the bottle to your mouth, only for you to abruptly remove it from his hand — And you're going to stop with that whiskey now.

He tried to retrieve the bottle, but you tipped it over the steps, spilling the rest of the contents onto the stone.

— No — the driver protested, as the amber liquid ran down the steps.

— Yes — you returned — You can't keep drinking, Jense.

— I can…

— No, you can't and you won't — you said, your tone somewhat harsh, almost like a mother scolding a naughty child — I'm not going to watch you drink yourself into an alcoholic coma with my arms crossed. Now get up.

He looked at you with an expression that mixed confusion and sadness.

— Y/N — he stammered.

— Come on, Jense — you said, giving your hand to help him get up.

The task of taking the driver into the house was not simple. Far beyond the darkness of the rooms, courtesy of the curtains that covered the large windows that faced the sea, Jenson seemed determined not to cooperate with your efforts to take him to the main suite to take a shower.

After some struggle to drag him up the marble stairs to the second floor and tripping over a painting that was leaning against the wall as he slurred about how much his father liked that place, you managed to make it to the spacious bathroom. of the room that had once been John's. Asking Jenson to lean on the white stone sink, you allowed yourself a few seconds to breathe before continuing on your mission to save the driver from the worst hangover of his life.

— You can take off your clothes — you said, seriously.

— For what? — he asked, frowning.

— So you can take a shower. You reek of sweat and cheap whiskey.

Your observation made him take a step forward, losing his balance and placing both hands on your shoulders.

— It’s not cheap whiskey, it’s a very good brand…

— Which you probably bought for five euros in some dodgy liquor store in Monaco, right? — you asked, as you took your hands to the white shirt he was wearing and started to undo the buttons, revealing his chest.

— But it was a good whiskey, you could have tried it — Jenson murmured — But you threw it all away...

— It was either throw it away or let you keep drinking it until dawn.

— That was my plan.

Your hands stopped at the last button of his shirt, your lips pursed as you lifted your face to look at the driver. The seconds of silence that stretched inside the bathroom made your heart sink. After swallowing hard, you asked him to take off his shirt, which he did without saying a word.

Next, you moved on to his belt, unbuckling it and undoing the button on his pants.

— What are you doing?

— Taking off your pants.

— For what? — Jenson asked in a naive tone.

— So you can get in the shower — you replied, bending down slightly to slide his jeans down his legs, leaving him in just his underwear — Come in.

— And the underwear?

You felt your face heat up.

— I definitely don't need to see your dick today, Jenson. Now go to the shower.

Balancing himself with his hand on your shoulder, he carefully entered the bathtub, sitting on the edge. Watching you turn on the shower, he hissed as he felt the cold water splash onto his legs. However, that didn't stop you from placing your hand on the driver's tattooed shoulder to encourage him to get wet.

— No, Y/N — he grumbled — It's too cold.

— The cold water will help you…

— I don't want help.

— Come on, please — you said, bringing your face closer to his — You'll feel better after the shower...

Turning his head to you, his gaze seemed empty.

— I'm not going to get better, Y/N — he said in a low voice — This is me now, this depressed and pathetic thing that no one wants around...

Something about those words made you adjust your posture, irritation rising up your neck in a hot wave.

— Get in the shower, Button — you said, harshly, pushing his shoulder.

Silently, he stood up and placed himself under the cold spray, letting out a loud grunt. After searching the cupboards and only finding some soap forgotten in the corner, you returned to the shower to clean Jenson's skin and hair. “It’s going to look terrible without conditioner”, you thought to yourself, as your fingers rubbed his scalp. After rinsing off the soap that was on his skin and hair, you turned off the shower and wrapped him in a towel.

— Can you dry yourself? — you asked, earning a positive nod from him — Okay, then I'll make the bed.

Leaving the driver to dry off, you went to the bedroom, testing the lamps that flanked the bed, which looked somewhat imperious with its canopy, and condemning yourself for having forgotten that there was no power in the house. The furniture was old style, however, contrary to what you would expect in a lived-in place, the cupboards, shelves and desk were empty. You knew that this was the result of a day's work by Jenson and his sisters with the intention of keeping their father's memories.

Removing the sheet, you felt relief fill your chest when you discovered that there were still pillows and a blanket on the bed. You had just thrown the dusty fabric in one of the corners of the room when Jenson appeared in the bathroom door, completely naked. Staggering, he dropped face down on the bed without any ceremony.

— Jense, I was finishing…

— No need — he murmured, his face against the pillow.

Pursing your lips, you dropped the blanket onto the mattress, making a conscious effort not to look at his butt.

— Okay, so — you stuttered, while the pilot fidgeted, turning his head towards you — I'm going to see if there's another blanket for me to take to the couch downstairs...

— Why?

— Because I'm not going to leave you alone here.

— So stay.

You gave a small smile.

— I'll stay, Jense, but downstairs.

— Stay here — he stammered, stretching a hand across the bed.

— Here?

A positive grunt was the only response you got, heavy breathing indicating he had fallen asleep. Facing his calm expression, you didn't have the courage to deny his request, especially at that moment. Settling down on the mattress, you felt Jenson shift next to you, grunting in reaction to your movement. Then, he placed an arm over your stomach, as if he was trying to hug you or just make sure you stayed there.

And you stayed.

The sun was rising over the horizon and entering the room through the window without any ceremony when you woke up. A little confused, you rubbed your eyes, focusing again on the ceiling, realizing that the checkered pattern was from the fabric covering the canopy and not an eccentric painting choice by John. The memory of the man made you look to the side, finding Jenson still lying down, sleeping soundly, a string of drool dripping from the corner of his mouth.

The scene made you give a restrained smile. The habit of drooling was something you had already used to upset Jenson, who claimed that it was a lie and that he had never drooled in his life. However, his denial didn't make you stop your jokes.

Rubbing your eyes, you stood up carefully, making your way to the stairs slowly, evaluating the way the sun entered the rooms and illuminated the spaces.

“No wonder John loved this place”, you thought to yourself, as you passed through the dining room towards the kitchen.

As you expected, there was nothing in the cupboards or refrigerator, something that seemed obvious considering the house had been empty for six months. However, at the same time as you could feel your stomach growl, you didn't feel comfortable with the idea of leaving Jenson there, especially after what he had said to you during the cold bath you had given him.

Jenson had mentioned that he was afraid of being alone and that he didn't want that for his own life. However, inside the bathroom, the driver said that no one wanted him around because he was sad, going so far as to say that he was pathetic for that. As you approached one of the windows, you pursed your lips tightly as you remembered the way he had said those words, as well as the pain that permeated them.

At that moment, you didn't know what to say to him, limiting yourself to putting him under the cold spray of the shower. However, the answer didn't come with a night's sleep, much less with a walk around the house or long minutes of contemplation of the Mediterranean that stretched blue and infinite between the trees. You knew it shouldn't be so difficult, that you could limit yourself to a few words of comfort and a hug, but it didn't seem like much.

— Good morning — you heard someone say behind you. When you turned around, you found Jenson standing in the middle of the room, his hair completely messed up as he rubbed his eyes.

— Good morning, Jense. Did you remember that underwear exists? — you gave a little smile. Looking down, the driver assessed his own underwear for a few seconds before looking back at you.

— I thought I should redeem myself after what happened yesterday. In fact, I apologize for — he hesitated for a few seconds — Everything.

— I appreciate your intention, but you don't need to apologize for yesterday.

— But I…

— It's alright. These are things that friends do.

A smile appeared on Jenson's face, but something told you he wasn't entirely sincere.

— Have you done this for other friends of yours?

— To some. You're not the only one I know who likes to drink, Jense.

— Lucky them to have you — he said, running a hand through his hair — And me too.

— Yeah, lucky you too.

The silence lasted for a few seconds until Jenson let out a sigh.

— Is there anything to eat in this house?

— I didn't find anything.

— I think Natasha cleaned the kitchen that day — he murmured, placing his hands on his hips — Do you want to go for coffee?

— In your house?

— Yeah, I guess — Jenson replied, with a little smile — I'm going to get dressed and we go, okay?

— Okay — you said, crossing your arms as he turned around and headed for the stairs.

You headed to Monaco in your rented MINI, navigating the tight, winding streets at a leisurely pace. This was clearly not something Jenson was used to, considering he was shaking his leg non-stop. However, you preferred to remain silent, trying not to get lost in the tiny entrances spread across the city.

You finally spoke up as you parked in front of the building, a white structure neatly placed against the hill that squeezed the city against the sea.

— We’re here — you smiled.

— Yes, we're here — Jenson murmured, without much excitement.

— Let's go up?

He hesitated for a few seconds.

— I don't know if it's a good idea.

You raised an eyebrow.

— Jense, you live there.

— But I don't know if I can...

— Why couldn't you go up to your apartment?

Passing a hand over his face, he merely muttered a swear word before exiting the car with heavy steps. You followed him in silence, particularly confused. Greeting the doorman, you walked down the hall to the elevator, which opened its doors promptly. Inside the metal cubicle, you could see the tension in the way Jenson clenched his jaw.

Tension that dissipated when he opened the apartment door and found that the place was empty.

— Thank God — he murmured, running his fingers through his hair.

— For what? — you questioned him.

— What?

— Thank God for what, Jense? — you repeated, seriously — What happened? Does it have something to do with what happened yesterday?

— Y/N…

— I know this is a complicated time, but I need you to trust me. You know I'm here to help you, it's always been like this, Jense.

— I know…

— So tell me. Tell me what happened and I will help you.

Jenson walked to the sofa, laying down between the pillows with oriental prints.

— It's complicated, Y/N...

— How complicated?

— Complicated in the sense that you can't fix it — Jenson replied, looking impatient — In fact, I don't even think I can do that...

— Tell me, for fuck’s sake! — you shouted, irritated by that damn suspense he was making.

— Jessica broke up with me! — he returned in a scream that seemed to carry all his anger and sadness — And before you ask, it wasn't friendly or anything like that.

You stared at Jenson for long seconds, carefully thinking about your next words. Something told you to try to talk to him to better understand the situation, perhaps even to orchestrate a reconciliation, however, you remembered something he had said the night before.

— Was she the one who said you were pathetic? That no one wants you around?

The question hit him in a sensitive spot, his blue eyes filling with tears. Upon seeing that reaction from the driver, you didn't hesitate to put yourself in the space between his legs and hug him tightly, his head against your stomach. Jessica had said that to him and, in a way, it filled you with anger.

Jenson wasn't pathetic, much less someone nobody wanted around. In fact, there were days that you just wanted him to be close to you, making you smile with his good-natured comments about trivial things. In your view, Jenson was like the sun, brightening even the grayest of British days. And he didn't deserve to be erased, especially by someone who didn't appreciate him the same way you did.

— You know it's a lie, Jense...

— But I can't stop crying — he murmured against her body — I don't feel like I used to, I just feel...

— Sad?

— I miss him — Jenson replied, looking up at you — I miss him all the time...

— This is normal…

— Not for Jessica. She doesn't want a guy like that, who keeps crying all the time, sad, missing his own father. She wants the happy guy that likes to party, have fun and stuff...

— But I don't want to — you murmured.

Suddenly, he raised his head, looking startled by his response.

— No?

— I want Jenson. And know that, whoever truly loves you, will always be by your side, no matter if you're happy or sad — you said, running a hand through his hair.

The driver gave you a small smile before hugging you again, his head against your belly. The scene could even seem romantic, considering the stunning view from the apartment and his almost intimate touch on your waist. However, any suggestion went out the window when you heard an uninteresting sound.

— I think you're hungry — Jenson murmured, looking up at you. The comment made you laugh.

— I came here because someone promised me breakfast — you replied.

— Well, if you insist — he said, letting go of you and getting up from the sofa.

The meal preparation was simple, with some scrambled eggs, toast and a cup of coffee each, courtesy of Jenson's inability to make anything more elaborate. Sitting at the kitchen counter, you were eating practically in silence when the driver broke the silence.

— Thank you for finding me yesterday.

— Oh, there’s no need to — you replied, taking another sip of your coffee.

— I need to, Y/N. I don't even remember how I ended up there without using a car, especially with that horrible whiskey.

— Yesterday you said it was great — you laughed.

— So you could see that I wasn't doing well — he replied, bursting into laughter along with you.

When the laughter stopped, you looked at each other for a few seconds.

— Any problem?

— None, I just remembered something my father said — Jenson replied.

— About what?

— About Jessica.

You rolled your eyes, picking up your coffee cup.

— Are you going to talk about her again, Jense? — you questioned, punctuating the sentence with a sip.

— No, it's just — he said quickly, hesitating a few seconds before continuing — He had told me once that she wasn't the right woman for me.

— When?

Jenson poked the scrambled eggs with his fork, somewhat disinterested.

— I think it was after I went to McLaren. It was a conversation we had after an argument I had with her. And he said that Jessica wasn't the woman for me and that there was no point in insisting on that relationship.

— No?

— “It’s a waste of time to continue with this girl, she doesn’t care about you”, he told me — he continued — But I didn’t listen. I thought it was nonsense of him, but he kept talking...

— Talking?

— That the perfect woman was right under my nose and that I was ignoring her.

You raised an eyebrow.

— And you were?

— I like to think not, but — Jenson hesitated, looking at you — I think he was right. Again.

You just smiled.

— John always had a good eye for these things. Especially when it came to you.

It was the driver's turn to smile, without saying a word. And in a way, it didn't need to. John knew his son like no one else, and if he said something was better for Jenson's life or career, he was almost always right. “Maybe that’s why he misses John so much”, you thought, turning your attention back to your plate.

After finishing your meal, you helped Jenson with organizing the kitchen, before checking the time and realizing that you were quite late.

— I need to go — you murmured, heading towards the door.

— Do you have any engagements?

— I have to pack my bags at the hotel.

— I thought you had them at the car — the driver said, with a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

— No, they're in Nice. I had gone to visit a friend here when I stopped by John's house and, well, everything happened — you explained — But now I can't stay, my flight leaves in the early afternoon.

— Where are you going?

— London.

Jenson pouted.

— What a shame, I thought youI would take the opportunity to make a stopover in Ibiza.

— No, I need a guide to the best parties and he's not available at the moment — you returned, in the acid tone that you knew disarmed him every time. And just as you expected, he laughed.

— In fact. So, I guess I'll see you later.

— Yes, you have to be in Woking in a week.

— Thank you for reminding me — he said, approaching you for a goodbye hug — Have a good trip.

— Thanks.

You were arranging your bag on your shoulder when Jenson said your name.

— Yeah? — you said, looking back.

— My father was talking about you.

A hot wave rose to your cheeks, your hand tightening on the door handle. Your heart was pounding inside your chest, almost as if it had suddenly come back to life.

— I imagined — you managed to say, before leaving the apartment.

#jenson button #jb #formula one x you #formula 1 x you #f1 x you #formula one oneshot #jenson button fanfic #jenson button one shot #jenson button x you #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #jenson button x reader #nordswrites

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nordschleifes · 23 hours

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“You know, the Steve McQueen movie is what made me want to become a racing driver…” — Roland Ratzenberger (4 July, 1960 – 30 April, 1994)

#roland ratzenberger #ratzenberger #classic f1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #f1edit #f1edits #we miss you roland

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nordschleifes · 15 days

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60 and 64 in lo hecho esta hecho!!!

the inspiration behind the lheh plot is the famous radio from canada 2015, where fernando complains about driving like an amateur, as well as my own relationship with his public persona, that can be defined as complex and filled with layers.

if i could rewrite something, i would probably insert more of lance in the story, playing a sort of cupid for them, or just being a little shit and teasing both charlie and fernando about their apparent bad relation.

#nordsanswer

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nordschleifes · 15 days

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Hi! I read the post where u said that u felt that u were feeling unmotivated....I just wanted to remind u that u are an amazing writer!!! :) I loved the Charlie and nando fic sm. The idea was great and also how u wrote and conveyed there feelings was amazing! <33

there are days and days in writing and, sometimes, my mind is kinda cruel to me. i'm glad you enjoyed the story, and i can't wait to share the part two with you!

#nordswrites

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nordschleifes · 16 days

Note

57 😊

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

i'm deeply conscious, so much that many stuff is related in some way to the driver i'm writing about. an example is that charlie, in lo hecho esta hecho, starts the story with (guess what?) 33 years old.

so, yes, there is a lot of symbols and foreshadowing.

#nordsanswer

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nordschleifes · 17 days

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Fanfiction Writing Asks

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Where do you get your fic ideas?

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

How do you choose which fics to write?

How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

What’s the last line you wrote?

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

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Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Do you have a writing routine?

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What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

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Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

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If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

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Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

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Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

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Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

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How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

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In [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot?

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Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

#lets talk!#nordstalks

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nordschleifes · 20 days

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Hey Nat! I absolutely love your works here 🥰 I was wondering if there’s any schedule for your updates/works in the future ❤️

i'm really happy that you like it.

to be honest, i'm not really excited in updating my stuff. my feeling is that is not really good compared to other works around and is just useless to keep trying. that's why i'm slower than i should.

but, i will try to keep going. so, soon there will be something.

#nordsanswer

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nordschleifes · 20 days

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[At Fernando′s funeral] Lewis: I need a moment with him. Everyone: Of course. [Everyone leaves] Lewis *leaning over Fernando′s coffin*: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Fernando: Yeah, no shit.

#fa #slh

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nordschleifes · 20 days

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get to f1 in 2001 at 19 years old

go to renault and win back to back championships

go to mclaren and get involved in the second biggest cheating scandal in the history of the sport

go back to renault and get involved in the biggest cheating scandal in the history of the sport

go to ferrari and almost win wdc 3 times

go back to mclaren and experience dante’s inferno

leave f1

come back to rebranded renault

go to aston martin even though rebranded renault wanted to name a car after you

get a multi-year contract at 42 years old

#i love this old man #fa

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nordschleifes · 23 days

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i could never be a formula 1 driver because i'd become a criminal the moment someone tried to pass me

#fa

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nordschleifes · 25 days

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Is everything okay? U haven't posted anything in a long time...

not in a really nice place, mentally speaking

i'm sorry

#nordsanswer

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nordschleifes · 2 months

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incredible kid

#fa

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nordschleifes · 2 months

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ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕆𝕧𝕖𝕣

(request) Fernando Alonso x Fem!Reader Starting a committed relationship means telling all of your deepest secrets

Warnings: Mentions of negative mental health, mentions of abu$e, mentions of su!cide, talks of selfh4rm. I am begging you, don't read this if the topics discussed may trigger you

Note: I've never gone through anything like this myself so, with permission, I have based a little bit of the story on a very close friend of mine. It's not exact obviously, but there are elements of a real experience.

You hadn’t been dating Fernando for very long. Just barely 3 months. It still felt like a very new relationship, even if people said otherwise. It had been enough time to realise that you might genuinely love him. He never pressured you, he never made you feel less than, and he always made sure to tell you that you were enough. Sure it was the bare minimum, but it was always nice to know people could be like that.

However, the fact was that you were scared to love him fully. You had almost sworn off dating completely because of your last partner. Your ex had made you feel so unworthy of everything. He had almost convinced you that he was the only person who would ever love you. Almost. Thankfully you had an amazing support system in your friends and most of your family. They had helped you get out of a horrible situation and they were with you the entire time, helping you recover from the trauma you had experienced.

When Fernando had told you he was serious about dating you, you had said to him that it would be a long while before you went further than kissing and holding hands. Like a true gentleman, Fernando had told you that he completely understood that some things would take time, but he was willing to wait for however long it took for you to be comfortable. Which is why today was so important for you.

“I’m nervous to show him, Y/f/n. What if he runs off after seeing it?” You had called your best friend, who was basically like your sister, trying to get rid of the rest of your nerves and anxiety.

“Babe, I’ve seen how he treats and looks at you. He won’t run off and you’ll be okay.” She said, “You’re so brave and incredibly beautiful and he will see that regardless of your skin and scars. I promise if he hasn’t said ‘I love you’ before, he definitely will after this.”

You scoffed. “Thank you but I doubt it. Once he sees he’s going to run for the hills.”

“Who’s running for the hills?”

You jerked your head around and saw Fernando walking through the door. You quickly said goodbye to your friend who wished you luck, and hung up the phone. You turned your body so that you were fully facing Fernando. Thankfully he could understand that this was going to be a serious conversation, so he gingerly sat next to you and took a hold of your hands.

“I need to tell you something important.” You said, keeping your eyes firmly on the space of blanket between you. His thumbs started rubbing circles over your knuckles, bringing you some comfort.

“I don’t need to know if you’re not ready to tell me.” He said softly.

“No. You need to know this.” You took a deep breath before you launched into your explanation. It was now or never.

“When I was in my early 20s, I was dating this guy. He was my first serious relationship that I’d ever had and for a time I thought he was going to be my future. I didn’t realise it at the time but he was very isolating, and controlling. There were times where he would scare me and laugh when I’d cry. He wouldn’t always, but he would often tell me that he was the only person who could ever love me, and for a time I believed him.” You didn’t want to count the amount of times your voice had already cracked.

“It really took a toll on me. So much that in the last few months of that relationship, I started to hurt myself. Because part of me thought he was right. When he found out what I was doing, he started to- He started-”

Fernando wiped a tear from your face. When had you started crying?

Taking in another big breath, you continued. “He started to hurt me as well. He would press on them while they were fresh and he would bruise me to see the colours. If my brother hadn’t walked in, I probably would’ve taken my life.” You finally looked at Fernando’s face and saw that he had begun crying too. Lifting one of your hands you wiped his gathering tears.

“I decided that if our relationship is going to go further, then you need to see what I did to myself.”

You slowly stood up, taking your hands from his, and began to shimmy your trousers down until they were pooled at your feet. You kept undressing before you could chicken out. You took your cardigan off and your shirt followed soon after. Standing there, in front of Fernando in just your undergarments, your scars were on full display. The scars on your thighs and stomach had been healed over for many years now but they still looked just as angry as the day they appeared. You had to force your arms to stay at your sides instead of curling around your stomach like they wanted to. You tried your best not to flinch when Fernando brought his hands up to gently trace them with his fingers.

Fernando looked up at you from where he was still sitting. He looked at every inch of your face and he saw just how broken you were. His heart hurt just thinking about all the abuse you were put through. He took hold of your hands again and slowly dragged you closer to him, giving you plenty of time to back away if you wanted to.

When you stood directly in front of him, he wrapped his arms gently around the back of your thighs and laid his head to rest on your stomach. Your hands were on his shoulders.

“You don’t know how incredibly strong you are, Mi Vida. You are so, so strong and I’m so lucky to be with you now.”

By now the both of you had tears streaming down your faces. Neither of you bothered enough to wipe them off. You were terrified of how your relationship was going to continue, if it was continuing at all.

You felt Fernando leave soft kisses just over your scars, as if he was afraid to hurt you by pressing more firmly. Quiet sobs broke their way past your lips. Your grip on his shoulders tightened just a bit.

“Please don’t leave.” You whispered, voice heavy with emotion. Fernando loosened his grip and stood up to cup your face in his hands. You brought your own hands to rest on his wrists as he held you.

“There is not a single thing about you that would make me leave.” His thumb brushed a stray tear away. “I love you more than I can say.”

Hearing his words, you closed your eyes and began sobbing harder. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist as you buried your head into his chest. Fernando hugged you close to him and gently caressed the back of your head.

“Thank you for being brave enough to tell me.”

I hope you enjoyed reading this! I tried my best to write this in a way that was both a little detailed but also very vague so let me know how I did!

as always, likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated <3

#this spoke to me in a personal level #recs

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