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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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Fic-O-Ween Dat 9: Sugar Rush

Hello! Here's another tremendously late work for Fic-O-Ween. Life really got in the way and I was not able to participate as I had planned.

This work is not part of the Fantasy Magic Au I've been posting during the fest. Instead, here's some slices of life of older Cubs managing a café and safe place for youth! The general idea is that as life got less busy, they opened a library-café that is open 24/7 to everyone. Here are just some random slices but I'd love to come back to this idea in the future!

Note: This work is takes inspiration from a conversation in the server and many ideas are not my own.

Credits to @lumosinlove for the characters (except Helias, Elise and Aramaiah) and to @noots-fic-fests for hosting and prompt! read it on ao3 here.

Sometimes nights the café was busy. Those were the nights of book presentations, cultural themed events, study groups at the end of terms, all sorts of clubs -Finn had founded the book club, and Leo could swear that Regulus had attended multiple crochet sessions. Sometimes they simply put on music and danced. Then there were quiet nights. A few people minding their businesses here and there, on the tables or couches in the low lights of the late hours. Logan in his office doing the math for the shop. Finn reading quietly on his favorite armchair and Leo either at their side or already beginning to cook for the following day.

That was one of those nights. A mid-week, cold night with no planned events or full tables. Leo didn’t mind the quiet nights; he needed them as a break from the eventful ones, who had considerably grown in numbers over the years. The café had become more popular, and every member of their stuff or costumer was invited to add suggestions, and that’s why they had a monthly movie night, theatre night, karaoke night, art night, and so on.

Quiet nights were perfect for when sleep couldn’t seem to find Leo. He would silently make his way out of bed, careful not to wake Finn or Logan -who’d become only more sensible to one of them missing from his side with time- and join whoever was at the café that night.

Leo peeked in the kitchen to say hello to Amy, yet another chef assistant they’d hired. There hadn’t really been a need to hire her per se, because the café was only so big, and their staff was at full capacity. But she was a young mother and student who needed a job, and who were they to deny her that?

The long, full days and nights when it had been just the three of them managing everything were now a memory. But for how fondly Leo could remember those times, he was secretly glad that didn’t have to stand for longs periods in the kitchen anymore. His hip had begun to make itself heard, an injury from 2027 that hadn’t bothered him in a few decades and was now sporadically back. Go figure. Finn claimed it was normal.

Leo went to the counter to make sure everything was in place. He spent some time organizing new recipes and what to include in the spring menu. It was once he made his way to the vinyl recorder to put some background jazz on that he noticed one table was occupied.

A young boy was sitting there. A hand supporting his chin and a mildly resigned face in a sea of books and messily written math exercises. Oh, am I glad those days are over, Leo mused as he opted for some low, relaxing music instead so not to disturb him. He smiled at the boy, who looked up at him as he walked back to the counter, and received a small, shy wave of a hand in return.

Leo decided to let the kid study in peace, even if ‘peace’ wasn’t the word he would have chosen to describe the situation. He snooped from his cooking books from time to time, only to see the poor boy writing furiously or turning pages frantically. When the third long, suffering sigh filled the room, Leo decided it was time for him to step in.

He smiled when even his steps getting closer didn’t make the boy look up from the books, and gently cleared his throat. Two big, dark circles -oh, and some eyes, too- were on him as he took a seat in front of him, placing a fuming mug carefully away from his books, and offered a smile.

“Hey, I’m Leo. Care for an herbal? Chamomile and lavender do miracles for stress.”

The boy, after the initial surprise, accepted the cup with a thankful nod. A shy one, then.

“What are you struggling on?”

The boy bit his lip, a light red coloring his cheeks. “Maths.”

Leo made a face. “Aw, hun. I’m sorry, I’d help you if I were able to. But I’m gay, good at sports and I know how to drive. There was no place left for math.” The boy sighed again, shaking his head at the open books.

“I’m gay, too.”

“Oh, shoot.”

The next half hour saw Leo and the young boy, Helias, really trying to make sense of the numbers and letters mixing without apparent logic in the books. Four pages of failed exercises, two additional herbals and various swearwords later, Leo stated that enough was enough. That’s when he saw Logan’s messages. He was awake, as predicted. He dialed his number.

A misty, heavy accented mumble replied seconds later. “Mon soleil,” he yawned. “Où are you? Ça va?”

“Hey lovey, I’m at the café. Tout va bien, I’m with Helias, we’re trying to do…calculi. We have a test tomorrow. Please come here and make it make sense?”

“J’arrive.”

Helias was quite worried about Leo calling his husband in the middle of the night to join them and help him with calculus. Sure, the friends that had introduced him to the café had mentioned the owners, ex-hockey players so sweet and helpful to make the whole neighborhood melt. But wasn’t expecting this. He tried to politely refuse, saying that there was no need, he really didn’t want to bother- who was he to make a grown man move in the middle of the night to help him with calculi, goodness. But the blonde man dismissed him with a hand, affirming that his Logan was already up and would have joined them in a matter of time anyways. And he never minded helping.

So, Helias let Leo push him on a beanbag as they waited, and he closed his eyes to soothing music coming from the vinyl recorder.

Logan arrived twenty minutes later, sitting down at the table covered in books and sheets of paper after a soft hug with his husband -Helias tried not to stare, he really did, but he’d never seen adult queer people interact in sweet domesticity as they did. Logan’s hair was messy, and his face was still drowsy with sleep, but he threw a reassuring smile at the boy as he took a pencil in hand. “Alors, let’s see what we have here.”

Slowly, things began to follow a logic. A contorted, full of exceptions and formulas logic, but a logic, nevertheless. Helias felt the lump of anxiety in his throat gradually detangle as he followed Logan’s patient voice through the equations. At some point Leo joined them again, with a mint tea and a kiss on the cheek for Logan, and a plate of oven-hot cookies that he placed in between them.

As the topics were covered and exercises began to be correct, Helias could feel a warm feeling expanding in his chest. It couldn’t be the sugar rush from all the baked goods Leo was filling the table with. No, it was something else. The way both men had not hesitated to help. Their untold understanding of each other and the kindness transpiring from every gesture. The way they always used we, we have a test tomorrow, we’re gonna try this method and see how it goes. The hands on one’s leg or shoulder and the feather-light kisses. Helias wanted that, someday. With a husband or two or three, it didn’t really matter. But he wanted that love and he wanted to help as he could, like they were doing.

When the clock reached two in the morning, Logan closed the books gently and looked at him in the eyes. Helias almost gulped when being studied by those eyes. They were tired, and small wrinkles framed them, but they were also deep, and intense. Helias hadn’t been warned that he’d need to get a grip in front of senior men in that café.

“I think you’re ready,” Logan nodded. “Now you need to catch a few hours of sleep to do well tomorrow, okay? Do you know how to get home? We can give you a lift.”

“I have my bike,” Helias replied noncommittally.

Leo shook his head as he placed a brown bag in front of him, raised eyebrow and hand on his hip. “Nonsense. You’ll come get it tomorrow, but it’s not safe this late, and you’re already falling asleep. Here’s something for breakfast tomorrow. Your brain needs sugars to give a top-notch performance.”

Helias wanted to cry a bit as Logan helped him gather his things and Leo went to the kitchen to say they were leaving. The drive home was silent with sleepiness and the warm air coming from the AC. In his exhausted state, Helias hadn’t remotely worried about accepting a lift from two random adults. But, he reasoned, if the ex-NHL players with a city-famous little business kidnapped teenagers, someone would have heard of it in all those years.

When they reached Helias’ house, both men turned to look at him, and the boy had to stop himself from pretending they were his parents, concerned and loving. At least not too much.

“You get home and sleep, don’t worry about the test,” Logan said gently. “You know everything you need to know. And it’s a test, anyways, so however it goes, you’ll do great because you did your best.”

Leo nodded, smiling softly. “And you let us know how it goes, yeah? It was a team effort.”

Coming from ex-NHL players, that phrase was something valiant and fierce.

Helias turned the lights off that night without a single worry about the test. He repeated himself what Logan had told him. You’ll have a long and full life, and you’ll remember nothing about this topic or the test. It doesn’t affect your life whatsoever. Tomorrow, you go to school thinking this. Except, he would forever remember that night. Even if math and formulas had nothing to do with it.

There was an old vinyl player in the corner, and a messy mountain of old custodies at its side. Finn and two girls were dancing chaotically to Abba’s, Leo smiling as he dried clean mugs behind the counter, but the moment Angel Eyes came up, Finn jumped the counter to come and get him to dance with them. The two girls laughed as they watched the two men swinging their shoulders in a well-coordinated choreography. Finn put a hand on Leo’s waist, moving them gently back and forth, nose against nose. Finn made him spin once, twice and ended it in a casqué, grinning, cheeks red with the dancing. Leo shook his head fondly, allowing a soft peck on the mouth from the man, before he was pulled up. His hip protested a bit, but it was fine. He went to sit on one of the stools by the counter and watched his husband mouthing the words of Dancing Queen with Aramiah and Elise.

When the last song slowly died down, they returned to the open books on one of the tables nearby. They had an English class to pass, after all. In the following hour, they did much of the work the two girls had been anxious about- Finn got on the table to recite Hamlet, explained everything they needed to know and made them analyze the texts on their own.

Leo supplied pieces of chocolate cake when they made another break.

“Whatcha making?” Logan asked, in a tone that was all Finn and made them both laugh. Leo smiled, a sweet memory on his lips as he chopped strawberries and put them in a bowl.

“Strawberry shortcakes.”

When Leo was met with silence, he raised his head to find Logan smiling at him smittenly, and he knew. They were both remembering the first time he’d made those for them. A smile so radiant, so happy and in love, after thirty years together, that made his heart ache. Leo could still see it all if he closed his eyes. The summer sun on their faces, wind, and splashes of salty water against their bodies. Him leading the motorboat with Logan pressed at his side, and Finn taking pictures and pictures and smiling so hard. Candle lights in the quietness of the bayou, kissing and feeling high on each other, on their first Cup, on their first summer together. Leo remembered feeling invincible.

The present Logan came to tuck himself under his arm, pressing his nose against his neck, just like he had all those years ago. Leo leaned to kiss the soft, greying curls.

Now those pictures were hanging in their hallway, together with many others. Logan had a copy in his office, and Leo had lost track of all the pictures crumpled in Finn’s wallet, almost round with yellowing polaroid’s. The café’s kitchen walls were full of smiling faces, too, because Leo liked to remember what had kept alive his cooking passion for all those years.

“Je me le souviens comme si c’était hier », Logan murmured, bringing a hand to Leo’s chest. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

“Moi aussi, mon doucet,” Leo smiled, putting the knife down to hug Logan properly. “Moi aussi.”

They remained in silence for a while, content in the embrace and reliving the memory. How many boat trips had followed. On their own, then with their kids, and with the team, at dawn and in the middle of the night to escape the heat of New Orleans. Leo sighed happily, tugging Logan closer, a sudden lump stuck in his throat. When he sniffed, Logan parted to bring a hand to his cheek, mesmerized green eyes studying him. But Leo only smiled, and when had that not meant that Logan would smile, too?

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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How to win at extracurriculars - Snippet

General rating: General audiences, reference of mild pining but no boats afloat.

Cast: Olli Halli, Cole Reyes

Description: Headcanon and set-up at end, because it makes more sense there to me(?), but essentially, the new rookie gets assigned to a veteran lineman for the Lions' annual fall team-building and community engagement activity... which happens to get Percy extra credit for math class.

Big thanks to @lumosinlove for the characters, @noots-fic-fests for organising, and @hazelnoot-analyst for organised archiving :) -- "Bear right over crest. Bear right over crest? Where? Where is the bear? How do they know it will be standing right there when we all drive through this section of the stage?”

“No, Cole, there is no bear. That is a driving instruction.”

“It would be a lot more fun if there were a real bear.”

“Somehow, I think arranging for that surpasses even the Lions’ budget for team-building and community events.” “How do they figure this as a team-building and community engagement anyway, it’s just two or three of us alone in our cars? Plus, I guess some Lions’ staff manning checkpoints.”

“I guess one of Coach’s kids, maybe Charlie?, did something like this a few years ago for a math class, and offered to keep doing it for extra credit and getting his drivers’ license faster. Then Percy picked it up and built it into a fundraiser, and combined it with driving lessons so that he could get a learner’s permit at fourteen, or something like that? I dunno. All I know is, somehow, we end up doing this each year the weekend before the season opener. Coming up to an intersection, need the next instruction rookie.”

“Stop, T, right.”

“You sure? The sign says dead end.”

“Hold on. No. Stop, T, left. Sorry Olli.”

“Geez, they sent us a D-man who doesn’t know his right and left? Caray.”

“Geez?”

“You’ll pick it up. Loopsisms are contagious.” -- In which the Gryffindor Lions organisation sponsors a small car rally through the fall foliage each year. Rookies get assigned to co-drive for veteran linemen, ostensibly as team building. Community members can participate, students from local high schools get extra credit in their math classes for participating, juniors can get some extra supervised hours towards their driving license, and a good time is had by all. Loops and Moody used to get really into it and go all out with silly competitions like frisbee tosses or apple bobbing at their checkpoint. Nat and Lily would drive around delivering coffee to checkpoint teams, while Sirius would pretend to get lost so he could keep returning to the PT checkpoint multiple times throughout the afternoon. Winning community team gets to join a team dinner at Sid’s.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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Slowburn

Fic O'Ween Day 12: Goosebumps, with part five of the firefighter/ EMT AU! Coops, Leo, and Layla belong to @lumosinlove, fest header belong to @noots-fic-fests!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

TW extremely brief mention of bodily fluids (one sentence at the beginning)

Five hours and forty-four minutes. He had been bled on, puked on, grabbed, yelled at, and nearly toppled. His only spare pair of pants was now bound up in a plastic bag. Miracle of miracles, Sirius’ shirt was the only thing that hadn’t been damaged in the miserable afternoon. It made a great undershirt. It would also need to be washed at least four times before he could even dream of returning it.

Layla stared at a spot above his shoulder in the opposite jumpseat. One side of her eyeliner had been completely smudged away; the other, smeared sideways to her temple in a smoky trail.

“Nice job today.”

“Thanks.”

“That was a lot.” Layla nodded mutely. His heart pulled for her, a little bit. Even if their cases had been run-of-the-mill, nearly six hours of back-to-back calls would wear anyone down. He nudged the tip of her shoe with his own. “You’re learning fast. I saw some good work out there.”

“I’m…” She blinked slowly, then shook her head. “Wow, I think I fell asleep sitting up for a minute.”

“It happens.” In time, she’d learn to sleep wherever she could catch it. “When does your shift end?”

“Seven.”

“Almost done, then.”

“Mmm.”

The ambulance went over a bump, rattling the near-empty shelves and bashing Remus’ tailbone against the back ledge. “Sorry!” Leo called through the small window to the cab.

He had mostly given up hope that he’d see Sirius in the next twelve hours. His shift wasn’t over until midnight, and Sirius’ started at six the next morning. If he made time between his dentist appointment and calling his parents, he might be able to stop by in the afternoon, but it would be a stretch if he wanted to get any laundry done. And, Christ, that was a chore he couldn’t delay for another week. He liked those pants. More importantly, he now knew just how much Sirius liked them.

Something stirred in his belly at the thought. Warm hands cupping his ass and sliding over his flanks with astonishing care. Sirius had felt him up enough that he could probably make a Model Magic version of Remus’ body on touch alone—and wasn’t that a thing to picture. Somewhere between rounds two and three, Remus remembered kissing the backs of Sirius’ thighs. Pale skin and dark hair above the bare, sensitive bend of his knees. They slotted so well in his palms. Sirius had looked like glory itself when he peeked over his shoulder to look.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Remus jumped. “What? Nothing. Sorry, nothing, why?”

“You’re all frowny.”

Thank god for that. “Just…the day.”

A vague and reliable excuse. Layla snorted. “Tell me about it.”

There will never be a day when I tell you about this. Remus hoped his laugh didn’t come out too strained. “Seriously.”

They took the next turn a little wider, sending their final two ointment boxes sliding out of place. He fixed them blindly while the city center rolled past through the back windows. Did Sirius still have scratch marks on his upper thighs?

Another bump knocked the thought from his head. “We’re home,” Leo singsonged from the driver’s seat. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the showers, wondering why I chose this life path.”

“Mood,” Layla mumbled.

“I’m also Grubhubbing a sundae, and you can’t stop me.”

One of the last functioning neurons in Remus’ head lit up. “Get me one.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Get your own.”

“I’m your boss.”

“You make more money than me.”

“Yes, let me flaunt my extra fifty cents an hour,” he countered dryly. “Every night, I rub my quarters together, just to flex on you. That beautiful sound of a handful of nickels.”

“…I’ll see what they have.”

“Good rookie.”

He didn’t wait for the ambulance to stop before opening the doors. The familiar ka-chunk of the lock coming free was music to his ears—a sweet, sweet anthem of freedom, the promise of a lukewarm cup of coffee and a maybe-stale donut from the break room.

And Sirius.

Sirius, sitting on one of his packed and labeled inventory bins.

Remus stared.

“Remus?”

“Go ahead,” he said absently. “I’ll catch up.”

Layla hopped out with a groan. Six hours was a long time to be up and down. Remus was sure his feet would ache the same when he stood. If he stood. Sirius’ hair stuck up at the back, like he’d been running his hands through it.

Remus loved when he did that.

He just. He really did like him, quite a lot.

Keep me.

What had he been thinking? Six hours was a long time to wait. He had told Sirius he’d be right back. It was his day off; why hadn’t he left after it was clear Remus wouldn’t return?

He supposed he could ask the same question about that morning. God, could it really only have been a few hours since he felt Sirius’ bare chest against his own? They had practically been spooning with how tight they were tangled in each other when he woke. Remus hardly remembered falling asleep, only aware of the pleasant ache in his muscles and the humming pleasure in his belly. Pure satisfaction. Pure comfort, at having Sirius hold him like more than a friend.

He watched Leo wander off. Sirius didn’t seem to have noticed. He didn’t so much as flinch when Remus stumbled off the rig and beelined for him, not until Remus stopped in front of him, unsure what to say. I want you I like you I’m sorry please kiss me again, I still get goosebumps thinking about the way your mouth tastes with adrenaline.

Sirius blinked up at him, full lips and glossy lashes. His bone structure was fucking criminal. “You’re back,” he said, so soft and sweet and genuinely happy that Remus’ stomach flopped over itself. Sirius stood, tucking his phone into his pocket without a second glance at it. He was just—big. And tall. And gorgeous. Remus now knew precisely how solid his chest was, and how nice it was to kiss. “Did you have a good day?”

Remus stepped forward and planted his face directly into that chest.

“Oh,” Sirius laughed. It vibrated against his forehead; he closed his eyes. Arms came up around him, hands settling at his nape and the small of his back. He knew he smelled awful. Sirius didn’t seem to care as a tentative kiss nestled on the top of his head and melted Remus’ insides out his throbbing feet.

He sighed. Sirius smelled all warm and spicy. Detergent, cologne, or simply the way he was? Remus couldn’t wait to find out. “This is nice.”

“Yeah.” The delight was back. Sirius pushed the breath from his lungs on a squeeze. “Yeah, it is. I like this.”

“I’m gonna kiss you,” Remus mumbled. “Gonna kiss you so good. Just…two seconds.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want.”

“Two seconds.” It was so dark in his new haven. Sirius’ lungs moved calmly, steadily. His heart rate was a little fast, but nothing to worry about. Remus let his ears go foggy and pressed closer, nuzzling into the space between his collarbones.

Sirius kissed the top of his head again, less hesitant this time, before resting his chin there. “Long day?” he asked after several seconds. Remus hummed. “Sounded like you guys didn’t get much of a break.”

“Mhmm.” He turned his head to the side and rubbed his cheek over Sirius’ sternum. He couldn’t count the number of times they had sat together on the couch or at the table or in the window seat, legs intertwined while they worked through their days. Separate snacks at first, then a single bowl to share once they knew each other’s favorites. It had been nice, to have someone there. Someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone who understood.

But this…this was so much better.

Sirius’ thumb stroked a short path along his spine. It zinged all the way into the base of Remus’ skull. “I sweated through your shirt,” he muttered, pushing his head further beneath Sirius’ chin. “After I stole it from you by accident. Sorry. I’ll wash it.”

He felt Sirius’ smile on his temple. “Keep it. Looks better on you.”

“Think I left mine at your place.”

“Guess you’ll just have to come back and get it,” Sirius whispered playfully. Remus couldn’t help a grin, raising his head despite the pounding drowsiness behind his eye—he had barely opened his mouth to retort when there were lips brushing his own, a wordless request. He granted it easily.

This was different than the rushed promise on the ambulance. Different than last night’s smoky, need-fueled passion. He let Sirius lead, tender and questioning, then pushed into it a little more. Have it, he tried to say. Take it all, it’s been yours for a while. The words may not work, but he was willing to bet Sirius would understand anyway. His lower lip was chapped on one side when Remus ran his tongue along the seam, giddy and dizzy with the kiss-buzz of chasteness.

“Hmm.”

That was good. It was all good, if Sirius would keep making noises like that. He brought his hands up to rest on narrow hips (marked with a tiny scar just above his thigh, which Remus was so fucking glad he knew now) and gave a little more, pushed a little harder. Sirius’ hand cupped his jaw and the right side of Remus’ brain powered down.

“Hm—wait, wait.”

His attempt to lick forward into Sirius’ mouth was stymied by sudden distance between them. Not far—he could still pick out each fleck of quicksilver in Sirius’ unfocused eyes—but far enough to be frustrating for the part of him that was enjoying turning his thoughts off. Remus went up on his toes for more, but Sirius pulled away. “What?” he whispered, though they were alone. “Did you—are you mad at me?”

“No,” Sirius said hurriedly. His hands soothed down Remus’ sides in a long drag that sent tingles through each cell. “God, no, I’m trying to—” His cheeks went a touch pink as he glanced around them and coughed lightly. “Uh, I’m trying to calm down.”

“Oh. Oh.”

Remus hadn’t even thought about that. He was pretty sure he was too tired for his body to consider arousal, aside from the inevitable spike of desire for a soft place to land for two to eight hours. Sirius’ mouth was so nice, his body so warm, that it was all too tempting to get lost in it.

Sirius’ tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. Well. Remus supposed he might be able to feel something other than pure exhaustion, if he tried. “What time do you get off?”

“Whenever you want me to,” Remus answered immediately, then felt himself redden at the arch of Sirius’ brows. “Fuck—sorry. Midnight. My shift’s done at midnight.”

The fingertips on his back had become an extraordinary distraction. Sirius looked almost shy, so at odds with the animated boy he knew against this backdrop that Remus wanted to memorize every inch of it. “Can I…” Sirius began, then trailed off as his blush darkened. His thumbs hooked around Remus’ hipbones and paused there, lingering on bare skin. “Can I maybe take you to dinner? Or a diner?”

“At midnight?”

“I know a couple places.”

Remus frowned. “You have work tomorrow.”

Sirius gave a sheepish half-shrug. “We could nap together. Today, I mean. If you want.”

“I smell horrible.”

“You smell fine.”

“I’m soaked in dry sweat.”

“I don’t mind.”

“I—” That was it for excuses. That was all he had. Every defense against Sirius was dust in the wind. He smiled, and stood on his toes again to kiss one scruffy cheek. “Yeah, sounds good. Let me wash my face and grab some water. I’ll meet you in the bunks.”

Sirius’ eyes crinkled, and Remus fell for him all over again. “I’ll be waiting.”

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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First Frost

Rating: General Audience, no ship unless squinting General description: Leo finds out what happens when a sidewalk frosts over. Cast: Leo Knut, Finn O'Hara, Remus Lupin Thanks to @noots-fic-fests for organising, and @lumosinlove for such lovely characters to play with. ---

“Awww, yikes!”

Leo goes down, grabbing onto the railing as his gangly legs flail out from under him. He starts pulling himself back up, his legs dancing on the slippery pavement as he tries to find traction. Failing, he gives up and scoots on his butt to sit against the railing’s post. Finn collapses with laughter in the doorway.

“Is this why you wanted to get up early and go for a walk before practice, Knut?”, Finn asks as he regains his breath.

“It looks so pretty out, like everything has been etched over by tiny lutins. I forgot elves are also known for being dangerous, luring unsuspecting travelers to their doom,” Leo drawls, looking out over the frosted over shrubbery that lined the path sloping down to the sidewalk and road. “I had read about this, but never seen it before. Our sidewalks are different kinds of booby traps down in Nola.”

“This is your first ever frost? That does explain how a professional hockey player can’t manage to walk on a tiny dusting of ice,” Finn teases as he helps Leo lever himself up off the ground and shuffle back to safe ground. “Grip with your toes, grip with your toes.” Finn twirls the car keys around one finger. “Tell ya what. I’ll drive us to practice and park in the outdoor lot instead of the spot in the garage, and you can practice on a flat surface.” He throws his arm around Leo’s waist and starts steering him towards the stairwell. “You’ll get plenty of opportunities to see frost up close and personal this winter here in Gryffindor, I promise.”

Leo leans in to the support Finn is giving him, hoping Finn can’t feel his heartbeat speeding up at the casual contact initiated by his shorter teammate. He blows lightly on his palms, happy he had had the forethought to put on his light knit gloves before venturing out onto the treacherous pavement. The last thing he needed was scraped up hands, he’s still getting used to his new Lions blocker and glove.

In the car, Leo presses his forehead to the window, watching the frosted landscape pass by, marvelling as they pass through the park across from the arena.

Finn pulls into an empty space in the near-deserted parking lot, about halfway between the subway station exit and the arena’s entry. Hopping out of the car, he yells out to the lone walker leaving the subway, “Loops! Come watch a baby deer learn to walk!” He dashes around the hood to open Leo’s door before he can do it himself.

Remus comes striding over, and offers Leo a hand to get out of the car. “Oh right, I guess you aren’t used to walking on frost yet. It’s a vital skill up here, especially if you aren’t planning on getting your own car.”

Leo leans lightly on Remus, gripping his forearm tightly as Leo’s feet threaten to betray him on the slippery concrete. “Thanks Loops. I haven’t got the trick of it yet.”

Finn butts in, “I told him the trick is to grip with your toes.” Loops joins in, chanting with Finn, “Grip with your toes, grips with your toes!” The two look at each other, give a high five, “Ya man!”.

“I am so lost right now”, comments Leo, still struggling to find his footing while Remus shakes with laughter next to him.

“Kiss my lucky egg?” Finn asks.

“Some people say you know you can’t believe”, Remus starts off, with Finn joining in for “Hey Jamaica, we got a bobsled team.”

Leo looks at them both, completely bewildered. “I am definitely missing the reference. Seriously, how do I do this?”

“Aw, sorry Knut. Here, for now, practice sliding your feet along as though you are skating, just with smaller strides.” Finn steps out in front, demonstrating, then Remus slowly slides one foot forward and waits for Leo to copy him.

“You got this Knut, you are a professional hockey player, you can skate. It’s just like skating,” Remus adds, guiding Leo into another step forward.

The three make their way slowly to the rink’s entrance, Leo chanting the whole time under his breath, “I’m a hockey player, I can do this. I’m a hockey player, I can do this.”

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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May It Never Leave You

Fic O'Ween Day 11: Monster--or, What You Have, What You Hate (Logan's Version). Everyone's favorite dead horse is back, babey. Kudos to @noots-fic-fests for their hard work and @lumosinlove for these characters (and an outstanding Vaincre update today) .

TW memory loss, hospitals

Sunlight yawned over the horizon. Logan ticked another day in his head. 52 hours. Nearly a new record. The last time he didn’t sleep for two days, he and Finn had just finished playing Yale.

At least the apartment smelled better than their dorm had. Leave it to Leo and Finn’s monthly Target dates to find the best candles.

His head hurt. His chest hurt. Even his fucking eyes hurt, like he had kept them open after diving into the lake. It was a miserable way to feel in an otherwise perfect place—but then again, very little had been perfect recently.

Leo stirred in the curve of his body, not much more than a twitch. He hadn’t been sleeping well, either. Finn was the only one able to keep his eyes closed for longer than an hour (if that) and even he was quiet during the day. Dawn caught their phone screens as it filtered through the sliver of the blinds, all lined up on the nightstand with ringers turned to the highest setting. Just in case.

Logan blinked hard and pressed back into Finn. He needed to feel something solid; needed to feel Finn shift, his arm tightening around Logan’s waist. Something between his lungs throbbed with blunt pain.

“We should visit today.”

Leo’s voice was dull and coarse. Logan nodded into the nape of his neck.

“I want—” He broke off with an audible swallow. “I want to check on him.”

Sirius had woken for nearly twenty minutes the day before. James had been there, and Remus, of course. Logan wasn’t sure they had left yet. Remus certainly hadn’t looked like it. But their excitement was momentary at best when Sirius’ sleepy greetings turned incoherent, and he slipped back under for the rest of the day. Logan shook the whole way home.

“D’accord,” he murmured, tucking his knees into the hollow of Leo’s own. His belly was tense under Logan’s palm; he rubbed slow circles over it and kissed the curve of Leo’s neck. “We’ll go.”

Finn’s alarm went off at eight. They let it ring itself out. Nine minutes passed and it went again, a cheerful jangle that faded into silence. Slender fingers curled up against Logan’s collarbone. Finn’s cheek was flat on his shoulder blade, shaky breaths passing warm air over his skin. He let go for less than a minute. The alarm didn’t ring again.

Leo had the courage to check his email at nine and Logan half-read it over his shoulder, little blue dots disappearing unread into “[Gmail] Trash” under a thumb with the nail chewed down to the quick. He kissed the little-dipper trail of faint freckles up Leo’s shoulder and nudged at his wrist until he set the phone down with a tired smile and allowed Logan to coax him onto his belly, shifting closer. His cheek was pillow-creased when he turned. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Logan passed his thumbpad along Leo’s cheekbone, and blue eyes fell shut.

They didn’t get out of bed until ten o’clock. Breakfast was a quiet affair despite the radio and the sizzle of the stove. “Someone should text Remus,” Leo said as he passed eggs to Logan to crack. “See if he needs anything.”

Logan fought a wince. Sleep. Therapy. For someone to physically remove him from that place. According to James, they had only just managed to make him take a walk around the upper floor of the hospital. He’d been sleeping in a chair. Logan hadn’t pressed for more information, and the guilt gnawed at his ribs. “We can bring…sandwiches. Or something. Maybe books? A change of clothes?”

“Toothbrush,” Leo suggested, prodding at the scrambled eggs. “That might be nice.”

Logan carefully sliced another section of the green onion before speaking. “James brought his toothbrush. And a hoodie, I think. I can ask what they need.”

“Are they letting him stay?”

“Loops?”

“James.”

“Non, only immediate family.”

“I’m so glad they got married.”

Logan turned and saw Leo do the same. Finn was rinsing his fingertips under the faucet, but nothing in his face told Logan he was paying any attention to it. The purple under his eyes was nearly mauve in this light. “Me, too,” Leo said softly.

“Just—can you imagine?” Finn cleared his throat, shutting the water off. “I mean, Loops would be losing it. Immediate family. I wonder if they’d call…y’know.”

Logan wasn’t going to think about that. He had been trying very, very hard not to think about that for nearly three days, now. None of them needed monsters under the bed when the real thing was bad enough on its own.

“Well, they didn’t,” Logan said briskly. The handle of the knife dug into his hand; he forced it into steadiness and moved the next handful of onion over. At the stove, Leo’s shoulders were tight up near his ears. “And we’ll go see him, and it’ll be fine.”

Sirius?

Hmm-mmm.

Buddy, can you hear me? It’s James.

Bonjour.

Tremz, call the nurse in real quick—hey, keep your eyes open. How are you feeling?

Mmm. Bon. Head hurts. Remus?

I’m here, I’m right here.

Tiny green shreds sprinkled onto their eggs, bright and clean. A ‘thanks, cher’ painted onto his temple by a kiss.

Alright, Mr. Black, let’s take a look at that forehead.

Non.

Is it hurting?

Game day. Pick up Reg from practice.

Mr. Black, please try to stay awake.

Baby, just listen—

Gotta pick him up. Reg’s practice.

“You want bacon?”

Logan blinked down at the plates. It all looked beautiful, like his mother’s wax fruit in the living room back home. “Sounds great.” He kissed Leo’s shoulder and dusted the last bit of green onion onto Finn’s portion. “Merci. I’ll get forks.”

A little shiver ran through Leo. He tucked his arms across his body, as if the apartment wasn’t set to seventy-five degrees year-round, but smiled down at Logan all the same. “Thanks.”

“Are you cold?”

“Nah, not really.”

Footsteps padded over and then Finn was there, tugging his sweatshirt off and slipping it over Leo’s head. If nothing else, it got a laugh out of him. Weak—but there. Finn’s glasses sat sideways on his face and Logan poked them back into place with a gentle swipe down the razor-straight bridge of his nose. “I made cocoa,” he said, raspier than Logan was accustomed to this late in the morning. “I’m not really—it’s not a coffee morning, I guess, but if you want some I can—”

His mouth fell quiet against the inside of Leo’s shoulder, muffled by his own hoodie. Logan saw his chest lurch in Leo’s tight hold. He felt a little dumb attempting to wrap his arms around them both and cursed his proportions for the hundredth time, but neither seemed to mind. Leo was still trembling just slightly. Finn was board-stiff; his hand came up and twisted in the pocket of Logan’s pajama pants to draw him close.

It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, and Logan was trying so hard to be angry.

Leo gave a light cough. “I’m really fucking scared.”

That first night, Logan had fallen asleep praying he would wake in his bed in Rimouski, buried under the heavy blue duvet he had stolen from Aubrey when she redecorated her room on her 13th birthday. It was old and soft and safe and lightly scented with the lavender soap their grandmother mailed from Nice every month. But his stomach had rioted at the thought of waking alone, the last ten years a dream. As horrible as this was, as sick as he felt, God would have to pry this from his cold dead hands before he gave it up. He wished he knew how to tell them that.

Finn was hot at the nape when Logan leaned against him. “We’ll eat,” he suggested, tracing a loose heart over Leo’s mid-back. “Breakfast looks amazing. We’ll shower. I’ll call James. They’re not going anywhere.”

“…I don’t want to get my hair wet,” Finn said quietly.

“I want to take a bath,” Leo murmured into the top of his head. “You can come with me.”

Finn nodded, then swallowed hard. “I don’t want him to wake up alone.”

“He won’t,” Logan said. When Finn didn’t show a sign of hearing him, he nibbled at the curve of his shoulder; a smile twitched his lips. “Hey. Hey. He’s got half the team there already. We’ll bring sandwiches and be popular, d’accord?”

“You need to be muzzled.”

“That sounds fun.”

Finn snorted, pushing at him without taking his face from the sanctuary of Leo’s chest. “Get outta here.”

“Come eat before the food gets cold.” Disregard that nothing sounded worse than eating right now. They had bigger things to worry about, and none of it would be made better on an empty stomach. But maybe, maybe they’d have a kinder day. And maybe Sirius would wake up for real this time. They just had to take it in stages, one baby step at a time.

One. Leo and Finn took a bath.

Two. Logan scrubbed the breakfast dishes.

Three. He tucked Leo close and tight to himself while they put the lunch order in on the couch.

Four. His kiss to Finn’s cheek lingered before his hand came anywhere close to the passenger side door.

Five. Remus was on the floor.

Sirius’ door was closed, and Remus was on the floor.

Logan pushed the takeout bag into Olli’s hands and broke into a run.

“What happened?” His knees smarted on contact with the tiles. Dumo was slackjawed and Remus was fucking white. “Loops? Is he okay? Did something go wrong?”

He’s gone, he’s gone, we lost him.

Someone was speaking, Leo was speaking, Remus was staring into the void like the world had fallen out from under him. His arm was loose and weak under Logan’s hand; he eased his grip and watched Remus’ throat bob. A breathless gasp broke from him before any words. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

“No, Remus, that’s not…” Dumo looked exhausted. Sounded exhausted. Logan could feel himself beginning to shake, deep in his core where the fear snapped and burned. Deep brown eyes slid over the group before fixing Logan to the scrap of a planet beneath him. “Sirius is alright,” Dumo said firmly. “He’s awake and Pots is with him right now.”

Then why are we all on the fucking floor? he wanted to shout. The burning raced up Logan’s throat and into his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

For all that Logan’s terror blinded him, Dumo didn’t look well, either. “We don’t know the full story, but—”

Nonsense bumbled from Remus’ mouth. His eyes had slipped to the pale tile, pupils dilated, a hundred years away. An exhale rattled in him like a sob chained down. “Five percent. They told me five percent.”

Logan swayed. A hand steadied him when he sat back. Dumo hadtold him about the five percent. Five percent had been hooked in the back of his mind for 60 hours and shaken him from half-waking dreams. But five percent was nothing—was practically zero. Five percent was a liability figure told to prevent a lawsuit, nothing more.

Remus was lifted to his feet, barely, and Logan watched him sit hard in one of the stiff chairs. No tears striped his ashen face. Beside him, Dumo was blinking fast. Olli passed him a napkin from the paper bag Logan had picked up not fifteen minutes ago from the place Remus liked because they had soft-serve ice cream. The place Sirius liked because Remus liked it.

He wasn’t sure if he could get up, now. It seemed he had left his knees at the cashier’s counter by mistake.

“Lo.”

A funny noise escaped him at pressure on his back.

“Lo, baby, come up with me. Come on.”

Thomas was holding Remus around the shoulders. His mouth turned down at the sides while they spoke in low voices.

Logan couldn’t help himself. “Did we lose him?”

“No,” Finn said immediately, voice dropping hoarse. “God, Logan, no, we didn’t lose him.”

“Five percent chance of severe memory loss.” That first night had been so long and so hard. He had stammered his way through a call with his father, though he couldn’t remember a word they exchanged. He knew he had stayed plastered to Dumo’s side for hours while Sirius went through scan after scan, fast asleep. Finn let him push close, let him pretend he could hide in the hollow of his arm. “We lost him.”

It was audacious to claim any part of his pain alongside whatever Sirius must be feeling—whatever Remus must be feeling. Logan couldn’t help it. The chasm of his belly beat not fair! into his guts. Sirius had done nothing wrong. He didn’t deserve five percent.

“I want to go back to bed,” he mumbled.

Finn’s hand rubbed along his back. “Okay. We can do that. We’ll get up, we’ll go home—”

“I want to wake up right now.”

“Oh. Oh, Lo…”

“This is not supposed to happen.” Tears clumped on his lashes. He refused to let them fall. He had no right. “This is not. He has to be okay.”

“Pots is with him.” Finn brought him close, and shame burbled up at the way Logan clutched him all too tight. They shouldn’t be doing this with Remus right there. “Cap’s got a lot of good people looking out for him right now. Nobody better. And I have you, and we’ve got Knutty, and we’re just going to take a minute for everyone to calm down.”

Finn was using his storybook voice. Hills and valleys, nearly singsong. It set some part of Logan’s brain mute with old comfort. “I need—I need to help.” His throat scraped when he breathed. “I need to get up or I’m going to stay here for a really long time.”

“I know.” Of course he did. Finn always knew what Logan wanted before Logan did. Drinks, food, kisses. This. He was already braced against Logan to boost him up, for Christ’s sake.

If Logan gave him double that love in return, it still wouldn’t be enough. Not for Finn, who deserved all and more. He wanted to pack him up in softness and seal it with a kiss, keep him somewhere safe and kind forever. They stood together—only a little wobble before he righted himself. Leo had pushed a sandwich into Thomas’ hands and was trying to shepherd the others into it as well. He didn’t like the tension creeping up the back of Leo’s neck.

Remus was still staring at the door as if he’d seen a ghost. Logan didn’t want to go in there. He caused damage. He was shit at fixing it.

He really wanted to be angry at this.

“Please eat.” Leo’s voice was tight and pitched at the start, forced into his measured baritone. His nailbed was white where it pressed into thin wax paper; Logan made a silent note to get him some water from the fountain down the hall.

“Hmm?” Dumo blinked a few times, then startled, as if he hadn’t seen Leo there. His gaze slid from Leo’s face to the sandwich, and he took it with a wan smile. “Ah. Merci.”

He picked at the sticker sealing it, but that was all. Logan had spent too much time around the man day in and day out to be fooled into thinking he was anywhere on this plane right now. Distant eyes and tight wrists. A rigid back, like when they thought Marc broke a rib at hockey practice. Logan wondered if Remus could hear his mind whirring from the adjacent chair.

“Loops.”

Thick gray sleeves sheltered his mouth from view.

“Remus.”

Without the vibrant red letters, the lack of color washed him out. Thomas’ deep blue shirt was harsh next to Remus’ grayscale.

“Re,” Thomas tried again, nudging him ever so gently. Remus made a faint noise. “Hey, you want a sandwich?”

“Not hungry.”

Leo’s brows pitched in the middle—Logan wanted to smooth it away, to kiss it into the ether. Distress was a difficult thing to watch on Leo’s round face. “You need to eat,” Thomas said. He took the proffered sandwich with a quick squeeze of Leo’s forearm, and slid it into the space between Remus’ thighs and body. “Whenever you’re ready, just…we’re here.”

“You should go,” Remus murmured into his forearms.

“No.”

“He’s awake. Not much to do now.”

“No.”

“I don’t—” His voice caught and Logan felt his stomach plummet. Not now, not now. “There’s not a lot to do here. The nurses’ll take care of him.”

“We’re here to take care of you, too,” Thomas said quietly.

Remus closed his eyes.

“Ouais,” Logan managed. Finn’s arm pulsed around his waist; he cleared his throat, willing the clamminess from his palms. “Both of you—yeah, whatever you need.”

It had been such a fucking fight during those first terrible hours. Nearly midnight, and still no answers. Adrenaline and exhaustion, scraps of illness battling with the raging fire inside him while every door slammed in his face with a no, no, family only, I’m sorry. Watching them roll Sirius to a scan room. Leaving Remus and his shaky, feeble smile under the scathing fluorescents. Come back tomorrow. I’m sure someone will call you with an update. It didn’t matter that Sirius would have wanted him there.

Well—that was debatable. Sirius probably would have preferred to pass out in some quiet, dark corner and pick himself up without anyone knowing. But Logan had never let him do that before, and he wasn’t about to start now. Goddamn martyr. If it wasn’t for Leo’s quaking grip on his hand, he would have bulldozed past every too-bright white coat in the place and planted himself at Sirius’ bedside just like Remus had been allowed to. He was always there for Sirius. It wasn’t fair to keep him away because of a silly thing like blood relation.

Leo tucked his phone into his back pocket. “Visiting hours start in twenty minutes.”

A silent request filled with bare-rock hope. Logan took the empty chair and cupped his hand over the back of Leo’s. “I’d like to see him,” he offered. He hoped his meaning came through—I’m here. I love you. I’m here because I love you.

The hand beneath his own turned over and twined their fingers, pale and straight against his own fucked-up knuckles. His hands looked so blunt when they were together. Let alone when Finn, all willowy strength, toyed with his fingers. It was like comparing a sledgehammer to a harpist.

Twenty minutes was a long time to ask Finn to sit still. He may have been more staid than usual, but that didn’t stop him from popping up and down no less than four times for water, trash runs, and to check in with the nurses.

More than once, it was clear he was moving just to move. Logan couldn’t blame him. He needed stillness and silence to process, but the flowing magnitude of Finn’s heart wasn’t meant to sit quietly. He had always hated that part of his concussions the most: more than being benched, more than fear, more than the blinding pain Logan had dampened with his shirtsleeve too many times. If his body couldn’t move, his brain had to, and he was denied both in those dark rooms. Logan had always done his best to ease the strain in whatever way he could. He’d pour himself to drought if it would cool the fire under Finn’s skin.

“Lo?”

Leo had scooted closer on his chair, mere inches from sitting in Logan’s lap. He wouldn’t mind that. Closeness sounded good right now. Logan smoothed the ladder of his knuckles. “Quoi?”

“I…” Leo broke off with a slow exhale through his nose. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Was he looking for a lie? The truth? Was he looking for don’t worry, I know what I’m doing or I keep thinking I’ll blink and find Sydney in there with her appendix gone? Logan figured he had fumbled pretty hard this morning. I’m really fucking scared. He still didn’t know how to respond to that. Maybe this could be his second chance. Leo was so good at giving those.

He shifted over and let Leo lay his head on his shoulder, resting his own against golden chick-fluff curls. Words rolled between his teeth and over his tongue for a long moment. “I don’t either,” he said haltingly. Finn probably would have sounded more confident. “This is new. C’est horrible. I’m—this is horrible. It’s so horrible.”

Remus and Thomas were making their way down the hallway to the lobby. Something about a phone call, Logan thought. To Lily, or Remus’ parents. It was just good to see them standing. Leo sniffled.

He ducked his head and let his lips rest against Leo’s forehead, right under the tuft of gray hair he twirled around his finger on long nights when sleep escaped them both. “We’re here, though. That counts for something. He’ll be glad to see us.”

“He pushed Loops.”

“…what?”

“He pushed Loops,” Leo repeated. “ ‘S what Dumo was saying to Finn when you got us water. Cap woke up, freaked out, and pushed Loops.”

“Oh.”

“I keep—I mean, what if—” Leo groaned softly and sat up, scrubbing at his eyes. “God, I’m just turning it over and over in my head. I don’t want him to yell at me. Which is so fucking selfish.”

“When has Cap ever yelled at you?”

“It’s not Cap, though, that’s the problem.”

Logan tried not to flinch.

Leo shook his head. “I want to see him. I really need to, just so I stop thinking about it.”

The large clock on the wall ticked through another minute. They were technically allowed to go in now. Logan wasn’t sure his stomach could handle it just yet. Finn’s foot tapped restlessly ten paces from them while he read one of the dozens of bulletin boards, hands clasped behind his neck. “I wasn’t there from the start.”

He felt Leo look at him. “What do you mean?”

“When Cap was a rookie.” He had heard stories. Seen pictures. It looked bad enough to make him grateful for Harvard, just for some distance in time. He watched Finn worry at the full curve of his lower lip. “But…you know, he was still pretty frozen over when I got here. It wasn’t until Loops that he opened up. Even when they weren’t out. There was only a few months you were here where he was quiet.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You were new.” Logan shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. He was a lot of things, but he was never mean. Never yelled.” He glanced back at Leo and tried for a smile. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, soleil.”

“Excuse me?” They both turned at the sound of a new voice. Sneakers creaked on the waxed floors. A dark-haired woman smiled at them, flipping a page on her clipboard. “Dr. Manuel asked me to let you know that visiting hours will run from now until eight o’clock. No more than four people at a time, please.”

She seemed awfully calm. Logan wondered if she had been told about Sirius’ condition. Now that he thought about it, had any doctors come and gone since they arrived?

“Fantastic,” he said. A win was a win was a blessing in this mess. “Thank you.”

He could feel his hand shaking in Leo’s when they stood.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. “We both lived with him. I’m—” This is wrong. “We’re close. You and me.”

Sirius studied him with a wariness that made Logan want to curl up under one of the hall chairs and never come out. His next breath would be pure smoke from the flaming wreckage of hope inside him, he was sure of it. “Parles-tu français?”

Stop talking like that, stop it, why do you sound like that? “Ouais.”

He looked small in the bed. How could he look so small? Where did he learn that, and how fast could Logan run to get away from it? “Tu t’appelles Logan? Un nom Quebecois?”

Leo’s hand must be hurting from how tight he gripped it. Do not let me go. Sirius had always teased him for his fantaisie bon français drilled into him by his grandmother in Nice but this was not right, not right, not right, from the way Sirius’ voice folded in around his words to the lower, softer timbre just barely letting them free. No, Logan thought, he didn’t like this at all. “Ouais. Je viens de Rimouski.”

“Ah. Montréal, pour moi.” His smile was tentative, almost apologetic. Three days ago, Logan had teased him for this very conversation.

“Je sais,” he managed.

A faint humming noise answered him. He had already seen Sirius’ eyes dart over the three of them, clever and quick even when he was concussed. A subtle jerk of the chin made his mouth parch. “Qui sont-ils?”

“Mes copains.”

Logan didn’t have words for the complicated expression that flitted across Sirius’ face. “Les deux?”

“Oui.” He tried for a wry smile, for anything that could quell the riot of too much inside him. “Tu les appelles Bambi et Fleur. Tu m’appelles Thumper, espèce de connard.”

And almost—almost—that got him a grin. It was almost—almost—enough to make up for the ice-water panic filling his lungs with each passing breath. He didn’t like the smell of this place. Remus’ backpack by the chair, where he had been using it as a pillow. The plastic cups that were never stiff enough for a patient to drink from on their own. His mother had helped Sydney drink for three hours after her surgery, while her hands were still too weak not to spill on herself. And when Finn—

“Rookie.”

Logan felt Leo slump into him with a shaky breath. “Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, that’s—you call me that.”

There was a whining in his ears. A mosquito, or a siren. The sheets were too crisp. They would make his hands itch. Leo’s hand slipped from his own as he wrapped them around himself and fuck it all sideways, Logan couldn’t even comfort his boyfriend properly. He wanted to put an arm around his waist. His shoulder refused to unlock.

Sirius’ gaze dragged over him before sliding to Finn, brighter than before. “He calls you names in French.”

Oh, you piece of shit, Logan thought with startling clarity. “Sirius!”

“It’s true.” Sirius had been stoic for the first part of Logan’s rookie year, fresh off the rush of a disappointing not quite in the second round of the playoffs for the second year in a row. Logan would never forget the relief of nights when Sirius visited the Dumais house, putting aside the professionalism for a dinner that was close enough to home to ease his aching. Sirius had never asked him about Finn, either, content with the simple knowledge that they used to play together at Harvard and still tore it up on the ice.

“Finn,” Finn was saying. “Or Harzy, doesn’t matter much.”

“So you’re on the team, too?”

Logan had needed that presence when he arrived. And the…separation. The wound had been too raw for him to survive someone asking about Finn without the excuse of not knowing what words to use. “All three,” he said now. Sirius smiled, just slightly. His heart gave an unsteady thud-thud-thud. “What, you thought you were the only gay NHL player?”

The smile vanished. Too much. It slammed into Logan like a rogue wave and he bit hard on the side of his tongue. Leo was apologizing now. Apologizing for him. He would never learn, never had. Either he never tried or he pushed so hard a chance shattered in his hands. He could see it on Sirius’ face, all that confusion and fear mixed in with abrupt, sincere concern when James stood with a touch to his shoulder.

A tear slipped down James’ nose when he brushed past them. The whining turned to muddled clangs. What could he even say? I’m not gay? That wouldn’t help. The conversation had moved on; Leo had moved on, leading him forward to the plastic chairs by the bedside.

If he sat, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get up fast enough when the feeling tiptoeing up behind him finally grabbed on. The world tipped a degree off its axis and he clenched the back of Leo’s chair in both hands. Remus’ backpack was a lonely black lump by the thin blanket someone had brought for him. Itchy. Everything in these places was itchy. It clung to Logan’s skin for days. He knew how it would feel to pillow his head with rough polyester. White caught his eye—a tag? Remus Lupin, #10, Varsity Hockey Harvard University.

Just a zipper. Tiny Nike logo.

Stitching on the front Tremblay #10—

A patch. Clumsy hand-sewn stitches reinforced on the equipment room machine by an exasperated Molly. Remus loved that backpack.

Sirius was looking straight at him. “Il y a des morceaux.”

How could pieces be all that was left of three and a half years?

A pale face blurred with freckles and Logan blinked rapidly to shake them away. Leo needed this. Leo needed him to keep it together. He could do this.

He moved one hand over, until his fingertips brushed Finn’s sweater.

“You and I run plays after practice sometimes, if I’ve been having a tough time of things,” Leo said. His voice was significantly steadier than before. It was working. Logan could do this. He could help. “I don’t think you and Harzy hang out a lot one-on-one, but Lo’s usually your go-to for video games ‘n shit. We have dinner sometimes with you and—”

The air went stale fast enough to make him choke on it. Finn shifted in his chair.

Genuine puzzlement creased Sirius’ face. “I cook?”

He couldn’t do this.

“I can’t do this.”

The door was a million miles away. He was gripping the handle in four steps. The dam was breaking, knocking the sight from his eyes. He braced both hands on cold cream paint, praying, praying that Remus was nowhere near.

Tears were a funny thing. He had never really figured out how to do them right—or at least, how to do them loudly, like when Noelle skinned her knee on the deck and screamed loud enough to make the neighbors come running. For Logan, it felt more like Leo’s beat-to-hell watering can, if the duct tape holding it together ever gave up. Everything kept in, and then everything rushing out at once. Breath and water and salt alike. Rarely noise, but he still pressed his elbow over his mouth and dug his hand into the frame of the bulletin board. Always, always, rawness to the marrow of his bones.

“Lo, oh my god.”

“I’m sorry.” A guttural sound died in his chest. “I tried.”

It was all he had. It would have to be enough. He just—he didn’t do head injuries. Broken fingers and busted ribs and jammed joints, fine, but he couldn’t fucking stand sitting and watching. There was only so much reading he could do. Only so many articles he could struggle through.

“Logan—”

��I’m sorry.”

Looking was a mistake. Finn’s face fell. “Hey, baby—”

“I’m sorry.” Logan sucked in a breath and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes to force the tears back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Lo…”

Finn’s hand brushed between his shoulder blades and he flinched, turning away. The tears were fighting him now—fighting him so hard it made his throat ache. He could feel his pulse behind his eyes and ground his teeth. “No, no, no, no.”

“It’s okay.” Finn’s voice had gone soft and unsure and Logan hated himself. “Baby, it’s okay.”

He shook his head. It was never okay. Not like this.

“It’s okay.” He felt Finn move closer, but he didn’t try to touch again. “He’s awake now. He’s making sense.”

A jagged sound punctured Logan’s lung. “It doesn’t.”

“No, I…” Finn faltered. “He’ll be okay, baby. Come on, come sit down.”

Logan’s stomach fell to the floor. “No.”

“Can you—please give me something to work with, Logan, this isn’t—”

“I can’t sit down,” he said thickly. The light blinded him when he tilted his head back for a few harsh breaths. He wanted to cover his face, but his hands shook too bad to be any use. “I can’t just wait here, I’ve done that, I can’t do it again, I won’t.”

He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t sit and wait, forbidden from crossing the threshold because he wasn’t family, even though nobody loved Finn like he did and nobody could take care of him like he could—

A shudder rattled through Logan and he sealed a palm over his mouth. The waves howled and clawed at every one of his hairline cracks.

“What’s going on?” Finn sounded sad. Not worry-sad, but different-sad. Confusion-and-guilt-sad.

Muck clogged Logan’s throat. He took a few hitching breaths to clear a path. “It’s Sirius,” he said. “And he’s hurt, and every time I fucking blink I see your face instead and I still can’t do a goddamn thing, Finn, I can’t…”

He leaned into Finn’s hovering hand and fell against his chest with a low noise, pulling at his arms until he was safe.

Finn was here in his sweater and his jeans and Logan was safe.

He couldn’t stop the hurricane. The throbbing and the drenching, out of control. He had let it run its course in Remus’ office, in his basement bedroom, and now here. With Finn. Finn who was safe and whole. Something ugly muffled itself in the broad chevrons across Finn’s neckline, but there was no flinch to meet him.

“Let it out.”

God, it hurt so bad.

“You’re doing great, baby.”

This wasn’t a cry-solution. This had to be a Heather-solution. Logan wasn’t looking forward to that.

Finn’s nose was cold where it dovetailed against Logan’s cheek. “Love you so much,” he whispered. “So, so much.”

The compression of his arms outstripped any weighted blanket by a landslide. Logan flattened his palm against the back of Finn’s neck. There was no energy left in him to keep down a whimper when he felt Finn stroke through the back of his hair and leave a kiss on his cheekbone.

“I’m—” Logan gulped down a fragile attempt at a breath. “I love—fuck shit—”

“Shh, shh, stop.”

“I tried.”

Finn’s gentle scritch to his nape silenced him. How long had they been swaying? Finn had a funny way of coaxing him into a dance before he even knew what was happening. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, voice breaking. “Jesus, Lo, I can’t even imagine.”

“It’s—it was Syd, and then it was you, and now it’s Sirius—” His breathing hitched on each name, as if unwilling to let him speak, but he was so tired of the silence. “—and what if I lost you, what if you forgot me, how could he forget us? Pieces, Finn, he said pieces.”

If he tried, he could probably stop. The duct tape could be slapped back on. Not perfectly, but he’d manage.

He didn’t really want to.

A gross, clogged sniffle made him feel a tiny bit better. “I’m always so fucking useless here.”

Finn was quiet for long enough that Logan could match their breathing. That, too, gentled the storm. The individual floor tiles were starting to reappear. “You helped me drink water for days,” Finn finally said. “You cooled me down. You slept next to me in a twin XL for—what, a week? You read every assignment, out loud, for two. You made Cap smile.” A sigh gusted over the back of his neck. “You’re not a doctor or anything, but I don’t think anyone can call you useless.”

“I can.”

“I’ve never been a fan of the way you talk to yourself, sweetheart.”

A problem for another day. “Leo?”

“They’re chilling. He’s just glad to be there, I think.”

Distance made him stress. Logan was familiar with the feeling. “You should go with him.”

“Hmm.”

“No, really. I’m feeling better.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you—are you okay?”

Finn took a big breath, let it go in an unsteady huff. “This is just…sad. And weird. And sad. I don’t know.”

Baby steps. One at a time. Finn was here and safe, Leo was right where he wanted to be, and Sirius wasn’t going anywhere fast. Let it out, Finn had said. God knew he was trying. He pried his hands off the back of Finn’s sweater and flexed them, pulled his elbows in until he could hold Finn’s waist. A three-count to lift his head, then a foiled attempt to dry his face before Finn got there. His sleeve took the salt and water before Logan could so much as raise a hand. Despite himself, he laughed.

“Let me take care of you,” Finn said through falsely-gritted teeth, planting an aggressive kiss to Logan’s forehead. He surveyed him for a few seconds, head tilted, before his lower lip slid out. “Aw, baby.”

“I know,” Logan said thickly. “Not everyone can be a pretty crier like Knutty.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Still.”

“I don’t love you because you’re a pretty crier.”

“Good, ‘cause I’m not.”

“Yeah, dipshit, I know.” Finn cuffed the outside of his shoulder and Logan dipped his chin against a smile. “I’m aw, baby-ing because you’re sad and I wanna go take you home and wrap you in a blanket.”

Logan sighed. His head fell forward to bump Finn’s collarbone. “I feel like an asshole.”

“Why?”

“Left you all in there.”

“Not sure anyone can blame you.”

“I can.”

“You don’t count.”

“Is Sirius mad at me?”

“Honest to god—and this is really fucking morbid, so like, mea culpa—I don’t think Sirius remembers enough to be mad at us.”

Logan’s lip quavered. “I got him sick.”

“Everybody got sick. You don’t know that it was you.”

Lo’s usually your go-to. “I spend the most time with him.”

“…pretty sure that’s Loops, actually.”

“Okay, well—”

“You’re not winning this one,” Finn interrupted. “Literally everyone on the team was sick at some point, and we saw each other every single day. You want to point fingers? Blame coach for playing Cap’s line that long.”

It was so hard to come up with a defense when Finn was always right. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Here’s the plan.” Finn gave a little oof as he helped Logan straighten up and squished his shoulders. There was fine tension around his eyes and mouth that gave way when Logan ran his thumbs over it. “I’m going back inside. You’re going to go find a bagel place for Dumo and Remus. I’ll text you when Knutty and I are done, we’ll figure out bagel dropoff, and then we’re going home and sleeping.” He must have seen Logan’s hesitation, because one auburn brow arched. “Cap’s awake. He’s not perfect, but he’s awake. There’s nothing else we can do.”

“I hate this.”

“Oh, yeah, this is terrible from every angle. Hence going home and sleeping.”

Logan nodded, then tipped his head toward the door. “Go see Le.”

Finn kissed him sweetly, a hand on his jaw, and obliged.

If Finn had been looking for a way to keep Logan occupied, tasking him with finding appropriate late-lunch/ early-dinner bagels was the way to do it. Gryff had dozens—half were closed by this hour, and the other half had to undergo rigorous inspection before Logan would even consider bringing them back to his Manhattan bagel hound of a boyfriend. Remus and Dumo would want coffee, too, even if they didn’t say it. Their respective husband and son was a previously-comatose amnesiac. He couldn’t bring them shitty coffee.

Finally, he found a promising option. Warm interior, short line, music quiet enough to tune out if he needed to. Display cases that were picked over (many customers), but not too empty (still some variety). A clean half-dozen should do.

The barista smiled when he approached the register, despite Logan’s certainly-red eyes and general crustiness. “Welcome in! What can I get started for you?”

“A half-dozen bagels, please. And two medium coffees, light cream, light sugar.”

“What kind of bagels?”

He hadn’t prepared for questions. Why hadn’t he prepared for questions? “Which ones are good?”

“What’s the occasion?”

“My—” Motherfucker. The tears snuck up on him, rushing to the front until he had to tip his head back with a frustrated breath. The barista’s hand hovered over the computer screen. Questions. He should have prepared for questions. There was a reason Finn always ordered for them. A strained, embarrassed smile was all he had to offer. “Desolé. My brother’s in the hospital.” His torso squeezed. “That’s the occasion.”

The barista seemed to freeze for a moment. “I’m…really sorry,” they finally said. “God. Wow. My bad.”

“It’s fine.” Logan shook his head. “Two plain, one sesame, one cheese, and two of the sandwich things, please.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” The barista started to turn, then faced him again, lowering their voice to soft concern. “Do you have someone with you? I just—my cousin was sick, and it was hard to be there alone. If you needed help.”

“He’s awake,” Logan assured them. The next person in line had stepped back a half-meter, looking pointedly at their phone. It was a kindness he hadn’t expected. He watched the barista wrap the two plain bagels before he felt he could trust his voice again. “He’ll be okay.” It felt funny to say aloud. Different than reassuring Leo or Finn. More confident. “We’ve got family around. Friends. We’ll be fine.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” they said with sincerity he hadn’t prepared for, either. Each bagel was carefully placed in a paper bag; a large sticker held the edge down. The sides were warm when Logan pulled it to himself, and the coffee steamed in two balanced cups.

“How much do I owe you?”

They waved him off. “Please, don’t worry about it. Just…have a good day. Be with your brother.”

He sighed through his nose. “You can’t stop me from tipping you.”

“Oh—”

He stuffed two twenties in the painted mason jar by the register and stepped back immediately, tossing a half-smile to the barista. “Have a nice afternoon.”

I need to go. I really need to do this.

Logan hadn’t fought him on it. He was tired of fighting. And not against Leo—never against Leo. Finn knew New York best; the safest winter roads, the quickest routes. Logan was content to play homemaker and listen to their back-and-forth. He simply fixed two sandwiches and a baggie of snacks for the ride while they talked it out on the couch.

The roads’ll be dark.

I can drive in the dark, it’s not a problem.

I topped off the tank yesterday, but you should refill outside the city if you need to. There are more when you’re out of Manhattan. They’re easier to get to.

Thanks, sweetheart.

You’re going to be okay? Finn’s voice had been tight with worry. Logan wasn’t sure it was entirely about Leo driving. You’re—you know, you should stay here for tonight, we can all go pick him up early tomorrow.

The sound of their soft kiss made the house warm. I won’t be sleeping, Leo had said. I’ll keep you both up. He’s been texting all day and I don’t want to make him get on a train right now.

Logan had managed to tempt him to the couch with a cup of tea and an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Finn wasn’t far behind, and Leo dozed on his chest for the show’s second half. Thirty minutes could satisfy his worry if he stretched it. The adrenaline shakes had stopped an hour prior.

I don’t like this. Finn’s arms were tight around him while they watched Leo turn his headlights on and wave goodbye with a blown kiss. I don’t like this at all.

He’s a good driver.

I keep thinking…

I know. Did Logan ever. But it’s not us. So we’re here, and we’re helping.

Finn’s nose pushed into the crook of his neck; a deep breath made his stomach hurt.

We’re here, he had repeated, tangling a hand in the back of Finn’s hair. We’re safe. Je t’aime. I have a bagel place I want to show you in the morning.

“LoLo?”

“Hi.” Logan winced at the scratchiness of his own throat and glanced back down the hall, where Katie was just skipping back into Sirius’ room with Regulus in tow. “Hey, hi. What are you up to?”

“Um…folding my laundry, at the moment.” Silence fell over the phone. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. And you’re—you’re okay?”

“Wishing I didn’t have to do my laundry, but yes,” Sydney laughed.

His heart eased. “Bon. Good, okay.”

The sole of his shoe was starting to peel away from the toe. “What’s going on?” Sydney asked, quieter.

He shook his head before remembering she couldn’t see him. “Nothing, just wanted to talk.”

“Did something happen with Finn and Leo?”

“Non, we’re fine.” His stomach was shivery, like he’d gone too long without eating despite the sesame bagel lingering on his tongue. “Figured I’d call.”

“Black is still in the hospital, right?”

“Mhmm.”

“He’s awake?”

I remember you. Not everything, but I know you. “Up and talking. Making sense.”

Sydney hummed. He heard the light thump of a folded sock hitting her drawer. “He’ll be fine, petit. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I miss you,” he said quickly, before his mouth could force it all back. “I just—I miss you and I wanted to call.”

“Aw, LoLo.” Her sigh crackled in the hospital’s sketchy wifi. “I miss you, too. Christmas feels far this year.”

“Ouais.”

“You want me to get the girls on FaceTime?”

As if he could handle that right now. All three of them, scattered across a continent instead of safe in a pillow fort. “Non, it’s alright. I might…call, or something. I don’t know.”

This was stupid. He shouldn’t have interrupted her evening. But he so desperately needed to hear her voice after catching a sideways glimpse of Sirius’ dark hair from the open door.

“Take your time,” Sydney said easily. “I’m here all night, doing nothing. Have you heard from Obbie lately?”

“No, why?”

“She’s doing some sort of award gallery thing. Sounded neat. I’ll text you the link.”

“D’accord.” He could see her when he closed his eyes. Two loose braids to her shoulders, their father’s sharp jaw. Practiced hands flipping socks around each other, deft from gloving pucks. She had always poked and prodded and teased him more than the other two—a function of their close years—but had never once flaked when he reached out. He wasn’t sure how to thank her for that. He cleared his throat and heard it echo back to him. “You’ll call me, right? If you need things.”

“What would I need?”

“Just. I don’t know. Things.”

Her laugh was light, fond. “Yes, LoLo, I’ll call if I need things. Check your messages for the link.”

“I will.” He started to lower the phone, then brought it back to his ear. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Be safe.”

“I will.”

“See you at Christmas.” His lips felt shaky. “Or—whenever. If you’re around, or anything.”

“Goodbye, Logan,” she said slowly, though he could hear her smiling. “I’ll see you in two weeks. Take care. Give your boys my love.”

“I will.”

It was another five-count before either of them hung up.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

Text

Fic-O-Ween Day 10: Spellbound

Hello! Apologies for the delay. Here’s the sixth part of the Fantasy Magic Au, and it's a long one! (3.6k words) Featuring too many coincidences, reunions and chaos.

characters credits to @lumosinlove. prompt and hosting credits to @noots-fic-fests. read it on a03 here -notes at the end.

Leo and Logan spent the rest of the morning talking about everything and nothing, dancing around each other’s stories with the delicate grace of the falling leaves in the garden. Logan was curious.

When did you know you’d be a witch?

I was born with it. It runs in the family.

Did you choose your core?

No. A ceremony revealed it.

How does it feel to do spells?

Every single one is different.

The way he wandered around the house was funny to Leo. It reminded him of Roux, in a certain way; polite curiosity with a pitch of sugar and spice here and there. Logan insisted on helping around as a payback for the hospitality, and Leo couldn’t bring himself to point out that chores were a thing he could get done with a snap of his fingers. Not in front of those big, expectant eyes. The traveler washed a few cauldrons, took the wood for the fireplace inside and dusted the bookshelves. He was about to finish when he frowned.

“Leo, where did you get this book?”

The witch looked up from the herbs he was stocking away. What Logan brought him in quick strides was one of the clothbound books Kasey hadn’t wanted to part from when he retired. It was just on loan for a few weeks. Leo studied the golden letters of the title and the intricate decorations on the spine of the book. He looked up at Logan and was taken aback by his alarmed expression. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost.

“Er, my master lent it to me. It’s about the discoveries humanity owes to witchcraft. Why?”

Logan opened the book to the preface, pointing at a fading stamp that indicated the bookshop it came from. He tapped it urgently. “O’Hara Brothers’ Books and Parchments. Leo, it’s Finn’s bookshop. It’s—it’s from home.” He turned it again, his eyes widening even more. “His brother wrote it.”

“What?”

“Here. A. A. O’Hara. Alexander Aodhán O’Hara. It’s Alex.”

Leo stared at the name shining in gold under the light and then at Logan, now grasping the book as if it would fade any second. Not daring to look away. Leo realized that the book must have been the closest thing to home, to Finn, that Logan had in months.

“Logan,” he said slowly. “Are you sure?”

Green eyes darted on him in a violent ocean wave. Leo felt their strength crashing against him. It was the way Logan simply stared, not letting a sound out, and bringing the book to his chest, that answered for him. The book had once belonged to Finn. Leo nodded a few times, suddenly not knowing what to do with himself.

“Okay,” he managed. “Okay. I’ll—I’ll contact my master—well, ex master, but we’re friends—but that’s not the point, but yes. He’ll tell us more.”

Logan nodded sharply, following him to the living room, where Leo sat down in front of the fireplace. A vague flick of his wrist, and a fire was warming their already heated faces. Leo took a deep breath and put a hand in front of the flames, repeating the spell under his breath. But the room remained silent. Leo tried again, but no response came from the other end. He cursed under his breath.

“It’s the storm,” he sighed, getting up and starting to pace the room. “It must have broken the connection, and I can’t repair it on my own. If we want to talk to him, we need to go to his house.”

He expected Logan to be on his feet in a second, running to grab his cloak. But the traveler was still staring at the flames. “Leo,” he murmured. “Where does your master come from?”

Leo stopped his pacing to look down at him. “Up north, originally. Krios Kepék like you, but I don’t remember the village.”

Logan nodded slowly. “Does he travel a lot?”

“Used to, from what I hear. Not that much now.”

Logan took a deep breath. “Is he a winter witch?”

Leo frowned.

“Is he?”

Leo nodded. Logan sat against the armchair. “We need to go to his place. Now.”

Leo nodded, but then a string pulled at his heart. Roux. He didn’t want to leave if Roux still hadn’t made it home. He looked out of the window. The sky was darkening. It had been almost two days. Logan caught his hesitation, stopping the jumping to put on his boots.

“Leo, Roux knows the way home. You said it yourself.”

Leo shook his head, crossing his arms in a self-hug to soothe himself. “I know. I know that, but…”

Logan nodded, without insisting further. “D’accord. I understand. I couldn’t leave the village for weeks when Finn…” he trailed off. Then shook his head and sent him a reassuring half-smile. “Point me the destination on a map. I’ll go there on my own.”

After some protests from Leo and promises from Logan to be careful and be back soon, the traveler left the cottage. Leo put a protection spell on him, just in case, and placed the book and a map in his sack. When he disappeared behind the curving trail, Leo felt the stillness of his house overwhelm him.

It didn’t last long, though.

The sense of alert caused by the sudden noise outside died after a second; he’d recognize the sound of Kasey’s cart and his horse everywhere. The moment Leo peeked outside, relief melted him, and he couldn’t help the incredulous laugh he let out. Kasey and Natalie were there. Logan was going to their house. Everyone just needed to sit down and talk.

He ran to open the door just in time to see Kasey getting down with a bundle in his arms. Natalie jumped down swiftly, a fox trotting after her. Kasey reached the door in long strides and adjusted the blanket he was carrying. Something inside shifted.

“We need to talk. Now,” he urged.

Leo blinked. It took him a moment to nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I think we do.”

Once they were all inside, Leo threw a questioning look at Natalie as the fox followed them inside, but she held his gaze. Okay then. The fox is invited to tea. Kasey gently placed the bundle on the kitchen table, uncovering red fur. Leo felt the clenching around his stomach finally relax.

“Roux!” he exclaimed, hurrying to the cat’s side.

“He’s alright now,” Kasey reassured him. “Just cold and tired from the night out in the storm. I found him this morning on the doorstep.”

“He came to you?”

Kasey shook his head. “Nah, even weirder. The fox carried him to our cabin. Must have found him in the forest last night.”

Leo blinked. “A fox brought Roux to you,” he deadpanned.

The man nodded. “I don’t even know. This fox is…well, doesn’t matter now. He won’t leave your cat’s side.”

Leo peeked at the fox, sitting elegantly at Natalie’s feet. Sharp, yellow eyes were fixed on the cat on the table, now up and accepting the scratches behind the ear Leo was giving him.

“There’s something about this fox,” he muttered. “Some sort of—”

“Lock.”

Leo turned to look at Kasey, gaze stern and arms crossed. “The same could be said about your cat.”

Leo just stared at Roux, now purring against his hand and keeping his head low. In the back of Leo’s mind, something reminded him that he could understand what they were saying. He shook his head.

“Leo,” Kasey sighed, sitting next to him. “I’m not mad. No one’s mad here. I just want to know what’s going on, and that you’re safe. This has been going on for a while.”

Leo sighed, scratching Roux’s chin. The calm, brown eyes that had warmed him for five months were calm, just like before every spell Leo had tried on him. I trust you.

“I found him on my doorstep five months ago,” he started, voice low. “I knew right away he wasn’t a cat. He would…sit on chairs to eat, and was confused on how to clean himself.” The memory made him smile. “The way he loves books, and how he was trying to tell me something. He must have thought that finding a witch would be the solution, that I would solve his problems.” He rolled his eyes at himself when he felt a grip in his throat. “And I’ve been trying. Really. And I know he’s human. Something or someone trapped him in this body, he’s spellbound, but I feel it. He feels it. Merlin, Kase, you feel it, too.” He blinked rapidly. “And time is passing, and he trusts me but all I give in return is failures.”

At that, Roux made a protesting noise, getting closer to push his head against Leo’s wet cheek. The intensifying of the purring made Leo smile. When he felt like he could open his eyes again, he found the most confused faces he’d ever seen.

“Your cat is a human,” Natalie repeated. “You’ve been living with a human-cat for five months.”

Leo nodded. It took him a while to look at Kasey. When he did, he found he was studying the cat with an open, worried expression. “Leo, transfiguration curses of this level would be hard to undo even for the wizards of the High Council. Especially without knowing the source, or how much time passed. You can’t expect to do it on your own. It’s not fair for you.”

Leo felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. He nodded. “I know. I thought about asking for help, but…” he looked at Roux. “Someone out there did this to him. He’s not safe, and I don’t want to put him even more in danger.” He watched Natalie and Kasey exchange a complicated look. “Now, would you please tell me why a fox is in my…” he trailed off, looking at the spot where the fox had been sitting until a moment ago.

“Fucking fuck,” Kasey muttered.

They started looking around. Under the table, in the cauldrons, even in the living room. Then, a noise came from the guests’ room Logan had been occupying. The fox was there, sniffing the undone bag Logan had left on the floor.

Natalie sighed. “Come on, boy. I gave you some food before we left, there’s nothing in there.”

“Whose stuff is this, anyways?” Kasey asked, looking around at the mess.

Leo felt heat coming to his cheek, and simultaneously he cursed under his breath. Logan. “A traveler came here last night. He left not too long ago to see you. But I showed him the path in the forest. You didn’t meet him on the way here,” he guessed.

Natalie nodded. “Yeah, no. With the cart, we had to take the external route.” She frowned, looking at the fox with an alarmed look. “Hey, you put that down.”

The fox turned to look at her, a green sock in his mouth, then left the room. The three of them followed him hastily to the kitchen, where the fox jumped from a chair to the table, placing the sock in front of Roux. With a delicate nudge of the snout, the cat opened his eyes. He looked at the sock, then at the fox. A silent conversation went on, with a more than clear I’m not sniffing a dirty sock by the cat, and the fox pushing it closer to him. Finally, Roux leaned in and sniffed. His eyes widened. He looked at the fox, then sniffed again.

Hell broke loose.

Roux jumped down the table, starting to meow louder than he’d ever been, with alarm in his eyes. The tail stood straight as he ran to the living room, looking for something or someone, then to the other rooms. Natalie and Kasey threw a questioning look at Leo, but all he could do was shake his head helplessly. Roux had never behaved that way. The screams weren’t stopping, and in between those, the fox on his table, and the door opening, Leo didn’t know what to think.

Wait. The door opening?

Logan…was not having a good day. Not a good month, not a good year. The day had started in a good way, though. For the first time in weeks, he’d woken up in soft, clean sheets, in a room all to himself, and the smell of apple cake coming from the kitchen. Oh, and Leo. Leo was the reason the day had stared nicely, and the reason the previous one, despite the most violent storm of the season, was now special in his mind. Leo and his dimply smile. His eyes, and the curls falling into the blue when he kept his head down while cooking or laughing. The sweet ease he moved around in his cottage with, all warmth and love.

Logan didn’t know what to think of it all. He’d been looking for Finn for months, now. He missed him every day. He missed the voice who read books to him and the glasses he put on while working at the bookshop. The way he always knew what book the clients needed-even when they themselves didn’t know. Logan’s love for Finn was an intricated, decades-old vine, that had planted its roots in their childhood and had mixed with friendship for all of their lives. Logan remembered Finn’s hands dirty with the berries he’d pick for him in the woods, and the runs after stealing books to bring to him, back when he didn’t have any.

Logan shook his head from those memories. They would only hurt the more he thought about them, he’d learnt. But after weeks on his own, the only thing pushing him to go on being ghosts from the past, Leo had arrived. Sweet, caring Leo. He didn’t mind Logan’s questions, or the way he’d flinched during the storm. He’d taken him in without hesitation, so careful to make him feel at home. The slow dance they’d fallen into that morning, between chores and the most disparate conversations, was the best thing that had happened to Logan since Finn disappeared.

Or maybe longer than that.

Because Logan remembered the feverish obsession Finn had developed after Alex went missing. He would reply sharply to anyone who told him to let it go, arriving to a few fights in the village’s pub or closing the shop to focus on the research. To hiding things from Logan. That had never, never happened. When he left to find the truth without telling anyone, was the day a piece of Logan left with him. And now he didn’t have Finn, nor that piece of himself. Just a bag with his belongings and the clothbound book in his hands. And maybe Leo. He didn’t know if he could risk thinking that. It was guilt and confusion on his head, pushing the warm sweetness Leo radiated in a corner.

He hoped that the sight of Leo would soothe and cheer him up like it had last night. He needed that, after not finding the Winter Wizard at home. That had been a huge inconvenience, by the way. If the wizard was who Logan believed him to be…that would be huge. He didn’t remember a face, or a name. But he remembered a long, blue cloak, and Alex leaving the store to a younger Finn for long walks in the woods with one of two strangers coming from far away. Sometimes he’d bring ink and parchments with him. Sometimes just flowers.

Not that it mattered now. If the wizard wasn’t there, Logan wouldn’t have answers. Another fruitless day of research, he noted as he approached Leo’s cottage. When he opened the door, it was to a commotion.

Leo’s cat was back, what was for sure. He was screaming like a madman in the living room, with two strangers trying to calm him down and a fox running around -was that his sock in its mouth? If it wasn’t for the sight of a panicked Leo, Logan would have thought he’d walked into the wrong house.

Before he could say or do anything, three things happened at once.

One, the fox stilled to look at him.

Two, one of the two strangers cursed under his breath.

Three, the cat stopped meowing and stared at him for a long moment before running in his direction and jumping on his chest. The now softer meows mixed with violent purring, and all Logan could do was stare at Leo in confusion as the little head pressed hard against his chin. He almost jumped when he felt the fox -a fox, a whole, big, wild fox- nudging his leg.

“Logan,” Leo murmured. “Come sit down.”

Once they were all sat, a few puzzled looks were exchanged. The cat wouldn’t leave Logan’s lap, and the others’ eyes his figure. The fox, apparently too excited to stay still -or not used to closed spaces, Logan thought- resumed its trotting around the room. After brief introductions, Logan placed the clothbound book on the table.

“This book was on Leo’s shelf, and he says it belongs to you,” he nodded at Kasey. The wizard hummed, taking it with careful hands and passing a hand on the cover. “What’s strange is that…the stamp inside. I know that stamp, and I know that bookshop. I know the man who wrote it, in fact.”

From his lap, Roux perked up, big eyes on the book. He meowled, jumping on the table. The woman sat next to the older wizard- Natalie, it was- bit her lip. “Yeah, he was a great writer,” she said, placing a hand on Kasey’s leg. The wizard’s eyes were fixed on the book.

“I grew up with him and his brother, Finn,” Logan blurted out. “The O’Hara brothers. They own the bookshop. They went missing about—”

He was interrupted by Roux jumping on the table, close to where Kasey’s hands were holding the book. A gentle paw tried to open it, and Natalie, after a nod from Leo and Kasey, complied. The cat turned to look at Logan, then at Leo. He touched the stamp and meowed.

Logan frowned. That cat was weird, loud and messy. Even worse, he was making Logan’s heart beat incessantly, for some reason. Like hope was something he could afford. At his side, Leo shifted on his seat. He heard him mutter there’s no way before he quickly got up, starting to pace the room.

“Okay,” he said, a tremor in his voice, pointing at the cat. “Okay. I’ll try something, but I’m not exactly sure…yeah, here goes nothing.” He looked at the fox, then at the cat. He offered his hand, and Roux went immediately, licking gently. He inhaled. “Finn.”

The cat looked up at him like he’d just been hit, and Leo repeated. “Finn.”

Logan was about to retort that—that it was insane. It was a cruel joke, and it couldn’t be, and how could it possibly be that Finn, his Finn, was a cat, in the same room as him—

But the cat meowed back. And then again and again, and then it was looking at Logan.

The tears prickled before Logan even understood what was going on. He opened his mouth a few times, only for no sound to come out. But the cat came to him all the same, until he was sitting in front of him.

“Finn?” he asked faintly.

The cat jumped in arms before he could even finish the name.

A few hours later, Logan eventually stopped crying. Natalie too, while Kasey was getting there. Leo smiled to himself. It had all been very confusional for a while. Logan had cried, and cried and cried, never letting the cat down. Not that Roux- Finn, it was Finn now- had other plans. A broken mantra of I can’t believe it and I thought I’d never see you again filled the room for some minutes, while Leo still struggled to understand what had happened. Why he’d said Finn’s name. How had the idea come to him?

Then, they’d turned to the fox. Or better, Kasey and Natalie had been staring at it for a good while, in between scared and hopeful. Leo had seen a few tears before he even tried to pronounce Alex. They’d all taken a scare when nothing happened, and the fox didn’t seem to recognize the name. Then Natalie had kneeled, and her voice worked better than any spell. Alexander. She’d been basically attacked by the animal, and then she was crying, and the fox was yelping in her arms, and Kasey fell to the floor, pale as a ghost, before he joined the embrace.

The three of them were now in the guests’ room. They all needed a moment. Leo didn’t know a lot about what had happened before Kasey’s retirement, a year ago. They just lost someone very, very close to them, was all Remus told him when he asked. As close as they are. Natalie and Kasey had grieved. They’d looked, and looked, like Logan had, but without finding traces. A year had passed. And then there Alex was.

Logan was in the living room with Finn, on one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. He was gently petting his head as the cat purred on his chest. A low murmur of how Logan had been looking for him the whole time could be heard from the kitchen, where Leo was preparing dinner for everyone. They all needed some soup and then a good night of sleep, after such an intense day.

In the aftermath of it all, normally Leo would have been thinking of how, in the great scheme of reunions and love, he would be left out. Because Kasey and Nat had found Alex, and Logan had found Finn, and he would be alone once the spells were broken.

Would have been.

Because a few things kept those thoughts away. A cat nudging his head against his legs. And a tired, but now smiling traveler, coming to hug him.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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a big thank you to *you* for gracing us all with this masterpiece, friend!!

huzzah to the glorious author!

Hamptons Cubs AU: final part!!

Happy Halloween!! thank you @noots-fic-fests for the propmts that helped me write a full story!! Eternal character credit to @lumosinlove and thank you so much to everyone who has read this and let me know you're enjoying it! SO you pretty much have to read this on ao3, because the first part of this chapter is mostly texting and the formatting only works on ao3. But here's the first paragraph.

LINK TO AO3 HERE

The sun was still shining, like it had been all summer, dappled through the trees. Finn ran, worked, moved around the house and property like a ship without an anchor, ate whatever was fastest. But when he ran, he thought of sitting across from a laughing Logan, past and present, and how any work was made easier in his presence. He’d eat something, and think of Leo. Not only that Leo would’ve made it better, but the soft look Leo got when tasting something, analysing and savouring. Finn wasn’t savouring anything this week. He ate to be fed, worked to meet a deadline, waited until it was dark out to touch himself, and imagine.

He processed. Logan, his Logan, his college Logan, had shown up in his house? With Leo. His Leo, his summertime Leo.

Neither of them were his.

(continues on ao3)

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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Resurrection - drabble

Rating: General audience. Someone singing in the shower. Hymns. French. Description: Logan Tremblay is not the only one who messes around with song lyrics. Set around the time of part xxi in Sweater Weather by @lumosinlove. Thanks to @lumosinlove, @hazelnoot-analyst, @noots-fic-fests, and @1-800-shedevil (line divider)

Finn O'Hara grabbed the body wash bottle, spun around on his heel, brought the container up to his mouth, and started belting, "Res-sur-rection TIME! Come on!" A deeper, false-baritone voice comes out of the guest bedroom, "It's a resurrection." "Yahoo!", yelled two voices in near perfect unison and harmony. In the kitchen, Leo looks over at Logan with a look of shock. "Alex est ici? Depuis quand?" Logan replies, "Hier soir. C'était presque minuit. Il n'a pas voulu resté à l'hôtel avec Haley et Ramsey."

Head canon that Finn randomly singing bits of church songs or playing with lyrics is so normal that Leo doen't even bat an eye at that, he just thought he would have heard Alex come in. All of the O'Hara's are lovely, but none of them are what you could call quiet.

Y'see, Alex and Finn would get packed off to their church youth group as kids to expend any extra energy, and also sang in the choir until they left for college. Alex sang in the choir at university each year when the hockey season had ended. The youth group songs being catchy as heck, the greatest hits would inevitably get air time when Finn and Alex were together. Their rendition of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus would bring you to tears. On the other hand, OKN was a bad influence on Finn, and the first time he came home and sang Res-erection-time in the shower over Thanksgiving break, he had to clean up all of the coffee Haley spat out over the breakfast island. Logan helped.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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Hamptons Cubs AU: final part!!

LINK TO AO3 HERE

He processed. Logan, his Logan, his college Logan, had shown up in his house? With Leo. His Leo, his summertime Leo.

Neither of them were his.

(continues on ao3)

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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@noots-fic-fests

Me? Scheduling this one to post ahead of time? Sometimes I get a win okay lol

I've had this idea since the moment I saw the prompt and knew it's what I wanted to write. I don't feel like I did it the justice it deserves but the idea is too bitter sweet and I hope y'all have enjoyed my too short ramblings these last 13 days.

Remember: spooky season isn't over! It's a state of mind *taps temple pointedly*

Remus made his way upstairs quickly, having waited for Sirius to lay out their Halloween costumes and call him up. He took the stairs two at a time and made his way the the bedroom where the door was cracked open. He pushed it open as he entered the room and saw Sirius standing next to the bed, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt nervously.

“What do you think?”

Remus’ eyes wandered to the bed where two costumes were laid out; a striped referee shirt with a whistle and a yellow fireman’s uniform, hat included.

“I was thinking maybe we have a bit of a resurrection. Of the old ones. But this time you’ll be the fireman.”

“Baby,” Remus breathed, his heart doing a funny thing in his chest. It was doing loopty-loops as his brain tried to figure out what to think about the suggestion. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I want to. And you know the team has been asking how and when we- you know. And it was then. Halloween night. That I finally… that we talked. Kind of got together.”

“You consider Halloween the anniversary of that? Not your birthday dinner?”

“I mean, kind of? The Halloween party was first, and for me, that was a bigger step. Confessing how I felt. Learning you felt the same,” Sirius made his way over to Remus, taking his hands in his own. “Besides, we can’t give Dumo the satisfaction of confirming it’s because of him we got together. We would have sorted ourselves out eventually, I knew that for sure after that night.”

“You know they have bets going on when we first got together? I guess we never did officially explain that. You know, since we never really got to tell them anything at all…”

“I know. Which is why I want to share this, now. Something back in our control that we can tell them. Share with them. I want that. And I want to see black soot smudged on your face while that white shirt hugs all your new hockey muscles. You have no idea what you do to me. Not that I was any less attracted to you before you bulked up, but merde, loup.”

Remus laughed and leaned in for a quick kiss. “So that’s your nefarious plan. To oggle me all night.”

“And throw flags on the play when you’re too hot… oh wait, I think there should be one right now…” Sirius trailed off, tugging Remus towards the bed.

“You are devious. We still have to clean the house and cook before the party tomorrow–”

“Worry about it later. Give me an hour, then you can go back to your vacuuming.”

“Fine,” Remus says, though he’s holding back a smile. He willingly let’s Sirius pull him down onto the bed and cover him in promising kisses.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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@noots-fic-fests

Logan flipped through the suggested shows on the Huluween collection, trying to find something worth watching. “I don’t want anything too scary, but I’d like something spooky,” he said as Leo plopped down next to him.

“Ooh, go back one? What about Goosebumps? The new one? The old show wasn’t too bad, and how scary can it be if Justin Long is in it?”

“Um,” Finn hummed as he made his way over with the bowl of popcorn, “I don’t know about that. The preview made it look pretty suspenseful.”

“But suspenseful is suspenseful, not scary,” Leo pointed out. “Tension and spooky music is fine. Maybe some light jump scares, but nothing actually… disturbing. Probably.”

“Well, we’ll try it.” Finn took a moment to get settled on the couch on Logan’s other side, pulling a blanket over his lap. “If we don’t like it, we can change it, how does that sound?”

“Sure,” Logan nodded as he clicked the show and leaned forward to set the remote on the coffee table before settling back against the couch, sandwiched between his two favorite people.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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@noots-fic-fests

Remus blindly felt around the nightstand for his phone, tapping the screen to find the snooze. Before he could even roll back into Sirius’ waiting arms, a warm weight molded itself to Remus’ back and an arm snaked around his waist.

“Mornin,” Remus mumbled.

Sirius groaned. “Cuddle. Five more minutes.”

Remus rolled his eyes under his closed lids and settled back against him. “You and your ‘five more minutes’ every morning. You’re a menace. A monster. A cuddle monster.”

“I never hear you complain,” Sirius grumbled.

“What am I doing right now?”

“Falling back asleep, probably. I hear a lot of talk but your actions are not those of protest. Now shush.” SIrius buried his face into the back of Remus’ neck, holding him tight and dragging him impossibly closer in the process.

Remus made no move to fight it, instead relaxing against Sirius to wait for their next alarm to go off and force them up for the day.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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@noots-fic-fests

“What do you call this concoction again?” Logan asked, wandering towards the boiling pot on the stove where Leo was stirring.

“For today and today only, spooky spellbound soup. It’s cold, so it felt like a good option for dinner, and then I just had to make it festive,” Leo explained, scooping a small amount to taste before holding it out for Logan to try.

Logan accepted a sip, looking surprised. “Oh. That’s really good. Which recipe is that?”

“It’s a meatball soup with beef stock, and some spooky shaped pasta I found at the store. The meatballs are mini, I didn’t want them to look too… eyeball like. Because that doesn’t sound appetizing.”

“Well, it does sound delicious,” Finn said, making his way into the kitchen to join the other two. “I just finished another couple chapters and I’m cold all by myself. Cuddle on the couch while we eat?”

“If I ever say no to that,” Logan says, pulling Finn into his arms, “Then you know I’ve been possessed by an evil spirit.”

“Noted,” Leo nods. “This is done and the biscuits have just another minute, why don’t you two go curl up and I will bring our bowls, biscuits, and butter over.”

“Mm yes, thank you, Peanut. Come on Lo, let’s find something to watch while we eat,” Finn said as he tugged Logan towards the couch to look for the remote that they always seemed to misplace.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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Chair de poule - snippet

Rating: General audience but with warnings Trigger warnings: Walburga Black's A+ parenting, corporal punishment, book burning, bad French* (although less than expected because it was a very unproductive weekend and I didn't get my act together.) Description: A view into Sirius' childhood, and how Pascal Dumais ended up with multiple complete sets of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series in his basement. Thanks to @lumosinlove, @noots-fic-fests, @hazelnoot-analyst for their excellent work, @1-800-shedevil for the fun line divider, and to R.L. Stine for giving me many nightmares (not that I ever read a full book, just the thought of the stories and YTV show gave me nightmares.)

-Sirius. SIRIUS! Descend de là tout de suite. Tu étais censé commencer tes exercices il y a cinq minutes.

Sirius sort de sa chambre, tourne pour se présenter pour une rapide fesser (peut-être il pourra ainsi éviter une punition plus sévère), puis se dirige vers le foyer ou se rangent tous les patins. Il avait oublié que son père n’avait pas un match ce soir, et sa mère était toujours plus stricte et attentif quand son père était là. Se peut-il que son père entrerait assez tôt pour observer un peu de son entrainement? Sirius savait qu’il était toujours un petit peu trop lent, qu’il n’avait pas réussi à surpasser les objectifs fixés par Orion pour le mois peu importe qu’il ait fait des intervalles pour une heure chaque soir sur la patinoire dans la cour, même après les entrainements avec son équipe les lundis et mercredis. Devrait-il tenter de changer l’objectif pour démontrer son contrôle de la rondelle? Il a beaucoup amélioré sa technique depuis la dernière fois que son père l’ait vu. Mais, en ce faisant, il sera peut-être puni pour avoir l’audace de changer le régime qu’Orion lui avait dicté. Non, mieux qu’il se prépare pour une double session sur la patinoire avec son père. Sa collation n’était qu’une banane, s’il vomisse, ce ne serai pas trop dégoutant. De toute manière, s’il ne se gave pas à diner, son père ne croira pas qu’il s’est efforcer jusqu’au bout. Ce soir, il n’ira pas au lit affamé. Perdu dans ses calculs, il commence ses étirements puis se lance dans sa routine. --

He was right, he was in for a double session on the ice, and then a lecture after supper to boot, since he both failed to meet his father's speed goals and missed the net with one of his slapshots. What he hadn't expected was for Walburga to then bring Regulus into the room, carrying his stack of Chair de Poule novels. He had convinced his parents to buy him the series and each new novel, because it was what most of his team was reading on the bus, and it was important to fit in with the team. He had been passing them on to Regulus after reading each one and they would read them together on the few nights that they could sneak into each others' rooms - usually when Walburga and Orion had a team event.

Walburga showed Orion how she had been tracking the boys' practices and progress, and more importantly, how they had been lacking in discipline and failed to follow his set training regime. She claimed that these books were a distraction, were the reason the boys had failed to meet Orion's expectations. She had seen both boys reading on multiple occasions over the past two weeks, when they should have been studying the plays Orion had designed for them to practice. Sirius had been late - late! - to start his practice sessions twice - twice! - in the past month, because he was holed up in his room reading.

Orion looked very disappointed as he ordered both boys to lower their pants and bend over. He reviewed the boys' lap times, and told Sirius that he would remove his signet and Cup rings this time, since Sirius had gotten faster even if not fast enough. Afterwards, he lectured the boys about the need for drive and discipline if they wanted to make it into the NHL and win Stanley Cups for Slytherin. Distractions would derail their career before it ever began. Distractions must be eliminated. Their team mates would respect them more for their dedication to the game if they studied playbooks on the bus. He and Walburga then ordered the boys to feed the books into the fireplace, one by one, until they were all reduced to ash. It took over an hour to burn the 60 books they had collected - nearly the full collection. Sirius blamed the smoke for the tears he and Regulus were both blinking away.

-- « Sirius, tu as un livraison », cria Celeste Dumais quand elle entenda que Pascal et Sirius sortant du garage. «C'était un peu lourd, et je ne voulais pas descendre les escaliers avec un tel poids...» --

Celeste and Pascal were expecting their third child, and Sirius didn't want her attempting the basement stairs with a heavy package either. He hadn't been around many pregnant people, but even he knew lifting wasn't what they should be doing.

He hefted the box, and brought it down stairs. Pascal watched with a raised eyebrow but no comment as Sirius started unpacking a complete set of Chair de poule books.

Pascal's eyebrows raised further when Sirius ordered, and unpacked, the exact same series three months later.

He figured it was a Black secret that Sirius would eventually unburden himself of when over the course of the next three years, Sirius bought more than thirteen complete sets of the series. He thought it had it nearly figured out - as far as he could tell, Sirius ordered a new set around the time he reached a point milestone, or if he broke his own scoring record within a season.

When Sirius moved out, he only took one set of the books with him, and asked Pascal to give a set to each of his children, and donate the rest. Pascal did that, but also left a set on the basement shelves. He would often find Logan reading one of those spare copies in the quiet hours of the morning, or at night when he was still too keyed up after a game to sleep but none of the Dumais kids were awake to be read to. In fact, he himself had started grabbing one or two of them when he was still keyed up after a game but Celeste and the kids were in bed. Adele had outgrown them, and never really like that brand of horror anyway, but she had loved snuggling into Sirius when he started reading aloud. She had recently sent her complete set back to the basement because she had run out of space on her bedroom bookshelves. Marc and Louis were about the age to find them the right amount of frightening, and Katie was into anything that would get her snuggle time with Logan, so they were still getting lots of use.

He hoped that whoever next billeted in the basement would be able to carry on the tradition with the kids' horror books. He didn't expect Regulus to tear up when he saw the complete set on the bookshelf in the basement bedroom when Pascal gave Regulus a tour. He certainly hadn't expected it to be the deciding factor when Regulus was hesitant about moving into the basement. Maybe one day Regulus would explain the attachment the Black brothers held for these books? Although, given how attached the two brothers were to just these books, and what he knew about their childhood, maybe he didn't want to know.

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noots-fic-fests · 6 months

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unsatisfyingly satisfying: part 3/3

Today, for @noots-fic-fests, the final installment in this series, rated E and it's pure Coops, characterizations by @lumosinlove. THANK YOU for any and all support of this lil fic which it turns out means rather a lot to me. part 1 (reading here let's you get the jist, while avoiding the E parts of sirius/OFC) part 2 or all of it on ao3 here

Sirius and Remus got through the rest of their evening without being asked for any selfies or autographs, and managed to not run into any more exes. Ordering room service to the room may have helped avoid this.

“How did it happen anyways?”

Sirius looked up from behind his burger. They were sitting on the floor of their hotel room, eating, tv on in the background.

“Quoi?”

“How did you end up in bed with Rebecca? I’ve never found myself in that situation. Always knew I wasn’t up for it.” Remus shrugged. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I have to admit I’m still thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it like you want to invite them over, or thinking about it like you’re jealous?” Sirius quipped.

“Neither, asshole,” Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to understand the wilds that were your mind back then.”

“I don’t even know, Re,” Sirius sighed. He popped the last bit of burger into his mouth and chewed while he looked up at the beige ceiling, thinking. “I could hardly think in a straight line back then, I was so tied up in knots. Lots of guilt and pressure and shame and so so many ‘shoulds.’”

Remus nodded. “You thought you should like women. Like Claire said, the comphet comes for all of us at some point.”

Sirius nodded. He draped an arm over one bent knee and Remus reached out and held his dangling fingers gently as Sirius spoke. “That was definitely part of it. Just pressing down the thoughts I had about guys until they were as small as possible. Doing mental gymnastics to explain them away. I really thought I just needed to find the right girl, and for an evening I thought Rebecca might be that, so that was part of what got us into the room, I think.”

“I’m sorry the world told you you needed to do that, baby,” Remus said gently.

Sirius quirked half a smile at him. “Well, I got there eventually, dieu merci.”

“Oui,” Remus smiled back. “Fuckin eventually. ” He dropped his head backwards and sighed. “And, ok, I am a bit jealous.” Sirius barked out a laugh. “Really? Pourquoi? Tu es l’amour de ma vie… you know that, right?” he said, trailing his fingertips up Remus’ forearm.

“Toi aussi, baby. I love you so much. But … it really sucked watching you with girls all those years. And I had no claim on you then, but, still.”

“I get it. If you had had a boyfriend I would’ve hated that.” Remus snorted. “You would have been so mean to him. Captain stares across nachos. RBF over fries.” “Definitely,” Sirius agreed. He scooted over to sit beside Remus, both their backs resting back against the bed. He wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders and pulled him in towards his side. “I’ll tell you anything you want, if that helps. It was very not great.” “It seems Rebecca would disagree on that.” Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face. “I honestly was surprised she said that. I guess focusing on her, or any of the girls, was a way to not focus on what I was feeling. Or not feeling.”

Remus just nodded, his head tucked into the warmth of Sirius’ shoulder.

“Tell me a bit about the night? Maybe if I do know about it, I’ll stop thinking about it.”

Sirius nodded and took a moment to remember. “We spent a lot of time in the hotel bar with James. Playing pool, talking, having fun. Having James there absolutely was part of the reason I got comfortable with her. It was an annoying weekend of photo shoots and interviews. There were some drinks. I think there was juggling?”

“Juggling? Juggling what ?” Remus laughed.

“Random things. Coasters, probably a shoe.” Remus laughed, picturing it. “And I’m sure you were the best at all of that and won her right over with your skill.” “No way, she beat me at pool and juggling. But I beat Pots, so that was ok.” Remus turned to look at him. “Really? She was better than you?” “At juggling?” Sirius gave Remus a funny look. “Yeah.”

Remus stood up, going for the suitcase. “Let’s see it.” “What?” Sirius laughed.

“Your juggling. You didn’t even have to be amazing at it for her to want you? I want to see how you look when you’re juggling.”

Sirius shook his head, but stood and cleared away the tray with their plates on it. Remus gathered enough balls of socks and gave three to Sirius while he started to toss his own. He tossed two in one hand, then the other, looking at Sirius the whole time. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Of course you’re already good at this.”

“Julian and I would do this together!” Remus laughed. “So let’s see you, Cap.”

Sirius tossed one sock up and immediately dropped the other two.

And again. And again. His socks ended up on the floor as Remus watched with a smirk on his lips.

“Tabarnak .”

“Impressive pick up technique, I can see clearly why this worked so well,” Remus deadpanned.

“I think it was more than my juggling. ” Sirius said, keeping his eyes on the socks.

“I’m sure it was. Maybe you turned around when you picked up the socks so you could show off Canada’s ass? Or did you add in a bend and snap?”

“Fuck you.”

After a few minutes he started to get the rhythm, the toss up, pass over, knew which sock to watch at what time. Remus juggled his socks easily, and Sirius caught his three in his hands after a few successful rounds around.

“You win, you win. But I can do it now at least.”

“Not bad baby. Quick study, like always.” Remus tossed his socks neatly into the suitcase. “What happened next?”

A lump rose is Sirius’ throat at the heat behind Remus’ words.

“Are you sure you’re only a little jealous?” Sirius said quietly, pushing. “That someone else had their hands on me?” Remus closed the distance between them in two quick strides and had Sirius’ jaw in his hands and their lips crashing together before Sirius could feel satisfaction at having successfully riled up his husband. Remus pushed him backwards until Sirius’ back hit a wall, and he spread his feet apart to bring their lips to the same level. Remus kept his hands cupping Sirius’ jaw the whole time they kissed, tongues diving in and out of each other’s mouths.

“This actually is what happened next,” Sirius murmured, heart beating fast.

“Yeah?” Remus breathed into his mouth.

“Yeah. Except I was tense and overthinking every movement of my lips, instead of turned on. And it was against the door, not a wall.”

Remus broke away just long enough to turn them and guide Sirius against the door, pressing him into it with a thunk. He clicked off the overhead lights while he was at it, and plunged back into the kiss.

“Mine,” Remus said, hardly louder than a breath. A tingle travelled up Sirius’ spine and he moaned into the kiss.

“For always,” Sirius agreed. Remus moved onto Sirius’ neck and collarbones, biting and sucking in a way that Sirius knew would leave marks and he loved that almost as much as the overwhelming feeling of Remus’ lips on his neck.

“What next?” Remus asked. Sirius shook his head to bring himself back to the world of coherent speech.

“Um, she knelt down and kissed my stomach.” Remus felt Sirius tighten up and he stopped sucking a mark into his collarbone, instead drew Sirius’ earlobe into his mouth and whispered, “was that a bad thing?”

“Non, no, not bad. I just never let myself have that, before? It felt too easy and like too much to ask and I was very concerned about what they’d tell their friends.”

“That makes sense, baby.” Remus turned pressing Sirius into the door into more of a hug than a makeout position and Sirius relaxed in his arms. “And the piece of me that apparently is territorial of you is extremely glad I got to be your first.”

Remus bent one graceful leg underneath himself, lowered to one knee, and then the other. He trailed his hands down Sirius’ sides and belly, fingertips light over his abs. He ran his hands up and under Sirius’ shirt, hooked them into the tops of his pants as he kissed Sirius’ stomach.

“Not to get caught up in the details of this admittedly strange role play, but can I actually suck you?”

Sirius’ breath caught and he let out a little gasp as Remus’ fingertips trailed over his zipper. “Yeah, Re, yeah, you can.”

So he did.

Sirius let his head rest back against the door, let himself just feel . Feel the pleasure building, the way that wet heat could make his brain turn off, thoughts didn’t need to spin around his mind when he was in Remus’ mouth. He looked down then, threading a hand through Remus’ hair, taking in the sight of Remus with his eyes closed, working so hard for him, lips spread. Sirius knew he would be consciously relaxing his throat, breathing in time with his thrusts, all that effort for Sirius, just for Sirius to feel good. And it felt so good.

“Yes, mon loup,” Sirius said, voice low. “That’s so good. Do you feel good?” he asked.

Remus opened his eyes at that and looked up and Sirius’ heart skipped a beat at the view, an even more clear image of his cock pressing into Remus mouth. Remus moved back until the tip was just resting on his bottom lip.

“Mmmhmm, so good baby, you feel amazing,”

Sirius groaned and thrust forwards and Remus received him eagerly, still looking up at him. Sirius tugged his hair just a bit more, both hands now, pushing his hips forwards and back, heat building in his gut and up his spine. He made himself stop, mostly threw himself back into the door while keeping his hands in Remus’ hair to keep him away. Remus reached forward with his mouth, still in the rhythm they had been building, but Sirius held him back, gasping.

“Are we keeping this going? You want to know what happened next?” Sirius panted. “Or are you satisfied that it’s only you I want?”

Remus smirked up at him. “Yeah? You only want my mouth?”

Sirius groaned. “ Fuck , Remus,” he hauled him up for a deep and dirty kiss. “Yes, of course I only want you. Je t’aime à la folie,” he said between kisses, “tu es mon âme sœur, my soulmate , Remus, it's you.”

“Je t’aime à la folie aussi,” Remus said, more slowly, but with just as much feeling and truth behind it as Sirius had. Sirius smiled at Remus speaking French and at Remus’ red lips, swollen from kissing, and just at Remus. “But, I do want to keep going. It’s… kind of fun? To pretend we’re having a hotel hookup? Except I actually really love you? And some territorial part of me does want to touch every part of you anyone else did,” he trailed his fingertips along Sirius’ jaw. “Claim every part of you.” “You have me.”

“I know. What’s next?”

Sirius walked him backwards to the bed, halfway giddy at the intersection of memories. At the wish that he could show his past self the future, this future, of his beautiful husband in his arms, stripping his shirt off and tracing hard lines of muscles. Height and build smaller than him, but not by much. Remus had shown him time and time again that he could manhandle Sirius just fine. But tonight, Sirius was overcome by the desire to claim this present. To claim his desire for sex and make it his own, to claim his husband for the sake of his past self who had hardly been able to place even the smallest stake in want. He had feared every want, afraid a blowjob would make him an asshole. Afraid his teammates would somehow know if he had ass sex and they’d hate him for it. Afraid that if he let his gaze linger on a man, or pulled one aside at a bar, that he’d be immediately kicked out of hockey.

But then Remus had been before him and said, for me, it’d be worth it, and now Remus was under his lips, as Sirius attacked his neck and jaw with love, so so thankful that they had plunged into this together. They fumbled with each other’s pants until they dropped to the floor and they held onto each other as they each stepped out of their clothes. Sirius whispered a jump and then Remus’ ass was cupped in his palms and their lips were entangled in a deep kiss. Sirius loved how he had to work a bit to hold Remus, it wasn’t hard but it wasn’t easy. Nothing in life that was worth doing was easy and Remus was worth every effort and Sirius was happy to expend the effort. He plunged his tongue deeper, licked across the top of Remus’ mouth. Remus moaned and moved his hips in response and Sirius wanted .

He tossed Remus onto the bed and the mattress bounced impressively. Sirius was on top of him not a second later, moaning into the kiss when Remus wrapped his legs around his hips. They kissed and moved for awhile, just enjoying each other, the heat of desire pooling in his belly but not growing.

“Was she a good kisser?” Remus asked, panting slightly.

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. “Re, mon coeur, I have no idea.” He peppered kisses along Remus’ jaw, which was just slightly rough. “I was so in my head I wouldn’t have known a good kisser if they had jumped up and bit me.” Remus laughed and turned his head to take Sirius’ earlobe into his teeth and bite. “We were laying just like this, you on top of me, the first time we kissed,” Remus murmured into Sirius’ ear.

Sirius’ eyes tingled with the promise of tears at the thought. Something about seeing Rebecca again made the past and present overlap tonight, like he could feel both at the same time. How scared he had been to kiss Remus that night, but how hopeful making a different wish on his birthday candles had made him. “Best kiss of my life,” Sirius replied.

“Me too.” They gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment, then Sirius sighed and pushed himself up. He found his phone and scrolled for their shared sex playlist. The one that if they got a notification the other had added a song they knew they’d be on each other the moment they were behind a closed door. Sirius smiled to himself at this small intimacy and tracked down the lube and a towel. Remus continued speaking. “Even if I was more than a bit in shock that it was happening at all.” He was trailing his fingertip across his stomach as he watched Sirius moving around the room. “I remember the feel of your thigh between my legs and that felt so good, just that. That’s something I have to agree with Rebecca on, you’ve always been stupidly good in bed, from the first time.” Sirius brought the bottle back to bed, shaking his head.

“Me? Mon loup, you. Only you. It was only for you that I've ever been good for. Only you that made me so hard and desperate I have to clutch you to me and chase it.”

Remus’ cheeks were pink, from the kissing, from the memory. Sirius pressed kisses to each of his cheeks, slicked his fingers from the pump bottle and trailed them along Remus’ ass. Remus quivered beneath him, dropping his head back, and here, with one hand cupping his husband’s beautiful face, and two fingers tracing the soft skin inside him, Sirius felt fully himself. Remus always made him feel like himself, but juxtaposing it with his past made it feel even more sharply perfect. A happiness sharp enough to cut him, but safe enough that he knew he could lean into it and feel nothing but love. It felt so good goosebumps erupted over his skin.

“You feel so good,” Sirius hummed into Remus’ ear. “Thank the fucking gods I met you in the bar today.” Happiness and love that were safe enough to play with.

Remus locked eyes with him and the desire there sharpened into mischief. Sirius loved that look, the half smile that came over Remus’ mouth. “Thankfully you’re better at this than juggling, eh? I was worried there for a minute you wouldn’t be able to coordinate kissing and fingering at the same time.”

“Ohhh, fuck you,” Sirius laughed, and dove into a kiss, while spreading his fingers and pumping them in and out, making Remus gasp.

“Yes please,” he managed to say with still a hint of a smirk.

Sirius continued to show off his coordination by adding another finger and bringing his other hand down to Remus’ balls and rolling his own hips against Remus’ thigh and kissing him deeply. Remus was starting to go limp with pleasure below him, gasping and moaning into his kisses. Sirius didn’t break the kiss as he got more lube onto himself and got between Remus’ legs.

“Ready, handsome? You want a condom?” Sirius asked, not touching him now, just a hair's breadth away from joining them together, but having to take the moment to play.

“Oh my fucking god Sirius, get into me,” Remus said, reaching for his hips. But at this angle he didn’t have the leverage to pull Sirius forwards when Sirius was holding himself back.

“You sure? I’ll wear one. I’ve never fucked anyone else without a condom.” He still said it playfully, but gazed into Remus’ eyes, reminding him of the reality beneath their game. Remus was the one, the only.

“Me neither. I’m sure,” Remus said softly, and Sirius let himself be pulled forwards and they both gasped as he pressed into Remus. They hadn’t had a thought or mention of condoms in ages, but taking the time to remember why they didn’t need to, the contrast to the past, made the slide in feel all the better. Hot and wet and completely different than it had been with anyone else. Not that he'd had anyone else like this before, had never let himself ask. But now he was inside his beautiful husband whose body pulled him in deeper with each stroke, who met him thrust for thrust, who knew just how tightly to hold Sirius’ hair to make him moan. He could want and he could have .

And so he had , they went through loverboy and shivers, and then loving is easy made Sirius throw his head back and laugh at the joy of being in love and being in the moment and being with his person. Remus looped a hand behind his neck and smiled into his mouth as they moved together. “You almost, uh, there baby?” he said into his mouth. “Is this the position you liked with…” Sirius smiled to himself. Remus didn’t even want to say anyone else’s name, didn’t want to invoke anyone else when they were like this, as close as two people could be.

“I like you,” Sirius said nonsensically, pressing his lips into Remus’ cheeks as he huffed out breaths, pleasure starting to crest up his spine. He felt Remus shift though, felt his mouth open as if to ask a question. He stilled and took a deep breath to push the wave of release away, for now.

“D’accord d’accord, no, beautiful man who I met today and yet am, for some reason, replaying a night from years ago with, this isn’t how we did it.” He leaned back just enough to let Remus’ leg that had been over his shoulder pass in front of him, and guided Remus to spin on his cock, lifting his hips up until he could get his knees under him. Sirius pressed back in fully, hard. Remus gasped at the new angle, the ability to speak coherent words quickly fucked out of him. Sirius draped his body heavily over Remus so he could speak right into his ear.

“I had to get her like this so I could pretend it was you.”

Remus threw his head back and gasped, panting with every deep, hard thrust Sirius gave him. Sirius stayed with his chest bent over Remus’ back, tall enough to still be able to move and hit the spot that made Remus see stars and yell. Sirius reveled in every noise he wrung out of him, loved the firm torso under his arms, loved the sharp nipples that he rolled under his fingers, loved this man .

“Yes, Sirius, yes, I’m gonna …” Remus gasped out. “There, baby, more, yes,” his words flowed out of him in a breathy babble. With a loud, “I love you!” Remus was coming.

The contrast washed over Sirius in a wave of emotion. How no matter who he was doing this with, he had wanted to please them, yet with Remus it was completely different. He wasn’t trying to check a box, he wasn’t overthinking or worrying or planning. He was tuned in to the movements and sounds of the man he loved, the person who loved him, and their love weaved between them as pleasure. Taking pleasure only for himself wouldn't even cross his mind. But following his lover over the edge of orgasm, that was as easy as breathing, as real as the pull Remus’ body had on Sirius’ cock, as natural as coming hard in response to the tightness of Remus’ body.

“Re, je t’aime!” Sirius gasped back, and bit down into Remus’ trap as his hips stuttered and the waves crested again for both of them. Remus pushed his hips back as the dredges of his second wave tingled down his spine, just as Sirius pressed forwards, and they collapsed together; Sirius deep inside, on top of and firmly inside Remus. And he never needed anything else. Nothing had crossed his mind through this whole evening other than the sensations that Remus’ body, Remus’ very being, could and did wring from him with every touch.

Sirius couldn’t help but push forwards one more time, chasing any drop of that perfect feeling, and Remus gasped in oversensitivity, but also arched his back, meeting Sirius’ thrust. “Holy shit,” Remus eloquently muttered into the pillow sometime later. “How do you always make it so good? I felt like I was coming forever.” Sirius’ heart was near to bursting with pride and love.

“It’s all you, love. Only you.”

Remus hummed in response and they stayed like that, Sirius pressing Remus down so completely into the mattress with his full body weight, but he knew Remus could take it, and he didn’t want to ever move. But when his English had returned he asked, “do you believe me now? That it’s only you? That it’s only you I’ve ever loved, ever felt like this? Other people maybe touched my body, but only you get my heart.”

Remus ducked his head against the sheets, cheeks red. “I always believed you, baby. I just also had some jealousy come over me for no good reason.” Sirius nuzzled his ear with a smile. “I’m not complaining, I’ll fuck you like that any time you want. If there’s anything from your past that you want to re-do with me, you just tell me when.”

Remus laughed and it reverberated through both of them. He turned his neck back to the side so they could rest their faces together. They knew if either of them moved, Sirius would slip out, so they stayed still, breathing each other in, the pounding of their hearts slowing.

“And it’s not just ‘cause you’re a guy,” Sirius said, apropos of nothing.

“Hmmm?” Remus hummed, eyes still closed.

“Well obviously I like your body the way it is, I’m gay, but it’s not just that.” “Baby, what?” Remus laughed, opening his eyes. “You have me very convinced that you like my body, I know this.”

Sirius huffed a laugh and tried to say what he meant. “Ok, so I know I’m gay, and you’re hot, so of course I like your body. But even though you’re the only guy I’ve been with, I know it’s all of you. Even if I had hookups with other guys, there’s no one else that would have wanted me, and not ‘Gryffindor Lions center Sirius Black’.”

“I don’t think that’s true, baby, you’re so amazing. I’m sure other people would have realised that, if you had been able to let them in.”

“Ok, maybe, whatever, but I didn’t need to keep trying girls until I found the right one, and it wasn’t that I just needed a man. I needed you. I need you .”

“Oh baby,” Remus murmured, and finally turned in Sirius’ arms so they could be pressed chest to chest, their legs tangled and arms wrapped tight around each other. They traced light fingertips along the other’s back and sides, and both of them broke into goosebumps, shivering and melting into each other.

“I need you too. You’re all I’ll ever need.”

Sirius hummed happily and tucked his face into Remus’ neck. Both of their eyes drifted closed and they rested in each other’s arms, satisfied.

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