Literally

Is it a universal experience amongst autistics to never be taught any life skills then when you reach your twenties, your parents are inexplicably pissed off cos you can’t do laundry or cook etc but they never bothered to teach you?

Alastor: My partner need to be regal, powerful, clever, with the passion to take over Hell with me.

Reader: *Trips on the sidewalk and falls over crying because they stepped on a caterpillar*

Alastor: That one. I want that one.

"Flirting with what's mine? You must really want to die."

WARNING! Adult content ahead!

EVERYONE ON DISCORD WANTED ME TO POST IT HERE HAHA

Hazbin Hotel: Alastor PDA Headcannons

Alastor has never been big on PDA or touch in general—no matter who it was, but when it comes to you? He would 100% let you cuddle him.

Alastor will never admit it, but he actually likes to cuddle.

However, you will most of the time be the little spoon, unless Al is having a rough day, (Like he isn’t smiling) , which isn’t very common.

He usually wont initiate touch, you have to do it first.

If you are friends, he will initiate touch first though.

This man loves forehead, cheek, and hand kisses. He loves to kiss you there, and loves when you do the same.

Anything more than that is saved for behind closed doors.

Cuddles..? 📻

Alastor: *quietly enters your room in the middle of the night*

Reader: *cuddling a pillow while sleeping*

Alastor: …

Alastor: *throws the pillow to the side and proceeds to beat the shit out of it*

Reader: *whines at the lack of pillow*

Alastor: *throws pillow outside the window and crawls into your bed*

Reader: *happy sigh*

Alastor: *happy angry demon noises*

Alastor ^ when he sees the you cuddling a pillow instead of him mhm mhm

Alastor to Reader: “I love you. It’s ruining my life.”

Y/N: “Smash”

Angel & Husker: *Spits out drink*

Alastor: Dear, please stop saying ‘smash’ every time I walk past you.

The Princess Diaries (2001) // The Kelly Clarkson Show (2024)

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

AWWWEEE you bleat like a deer THATS SO CUTEE

🎙️“Shut up…”📻

[Lucifer flirting]: Would you like to cum here often?

[Alastor]: Would you like to come over here...so that I can slap you?

Sneak peek of…something 👀

niffty styled his hair for sure

Charlie: “What is Y/n to you?”

Alastor: “They're the reason I wake up every day, my dear.”

Charlie: “Aww Alastor! That’s so sweet!”

[At 4 in the morning]

This is also the 18th time he's done this to you-

Alastor forms from the shadows in Y/n’s room and starts banging pans together in their face: "Good morning, mon chèr! Time to get up and at'em!"

Y/n launching at Alastor with every intent to kill him or die trying: "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, you asshole!"

Alastor avoiding all of their attacks effortlessly while laughing darkly: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were the designated silence enforcer. My 'sincerest' appologies~"

I’m gonna draw this if it’s the last thing I do! xD

That’s okay, he’s still my babygirl

Y/n, shocked: "Did you just hiss at me??"

Alastor, with a strained smile: "I do that when I reach my limit of stupid questions dear, I shall warn you now that the next response will be met with a bite."