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niy0ki · 10 months

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Only sin can feel so holy.

Author’s note: this is the first time i’m sharing my writings online, and its a rather dark start i suppose. Not proofread, i wrote this at like 2 am, this is based on a few OC’s.

English isn’t my first language, please excuse any writing errors.

THIS POST INCLUDES DARK CONTENT, IT IS NOT MEANT TO GLORIFY/GLAMORIZE ANY OF THESE DARK TOPICS!

Trigger Warnings: Abuse, manipulation, masochism, suggestive content, [implied] delusions, [implied] drug usage, [implied] self harm, mentions of cuts, [implied]religion based trauma, power abuse, religious abuse, mention of gods.

A world of sin we live in, yet we believe saints to be saviors.

But in a world of sin; sinners and saints aren’t that different. The cruel gods above look at the earthlings in pity, yet never sorrow. The stars gaze at the angels as they cry their tears over humanity, and sinners groan at the pathetic and miserable connection between these two sides of a coin, connected by a physical bound we call the earth.

A particular saint watches the world of sin; between humanity, gods, and those titled saints. The demons never had business with the brawn of the holy, yet humans begged for their sins to be washed away in a forgotten sea in order to maybe even come close to touching heaven in a dream.

‘Save us, dear lord, hear our pleas! we beg of you to eliminate our records, the pearly gates are reserved for your most loyal subjects, no?

please, o great god, a single smile of yours would give us infinite joy, may you let our faults go unnoticed?’

She laughed.

Each time their pathetic pleas came up to her level, a thousand whispers filling the crowd of her mind, she laughed at how miserable they sounded.

she; one whom made those who lacked ambition drown in a sea of ashes that come from fires which have not yet been lit.

she; the one whom burnt tears of the beggars just to see them light their last cigars on.

and she; the one who’s throne was made of sorrow and weep coming from those at the core of earth.

Gods were cruel. The heavens didn’t accept those whom were filled with anything but sorrow. a cage; prison for those who wished to escape thoughts of saints. there was no home of holy nor sin; heaven and hell did not hold their respective elements. You cannot expect perfection from a universe with no literate god.

God existed, but never as reality. She was minds, she existed merely as concept, and what more could humanity ever ask for? they got their delusional sense of protection, and heaven and hell existed in the end, so whom would care what decided where you’d end up?

Who ever told you that stars would be kind to the skies, or that the sun had to be balanced with the moon? That was exactly why she existed.

She was there so that the sinners of this broken planet could at least convince themselves that they had a chance of redemption. The false hope to make the despair greater; to give the abomination at least the idea leading it to believe it would one day be pure. It was nothing but lies, and thats exactly how she liked it.

And that was also exactly why she never left her mind. An angel, wasn’t it heartless to give a saint such a cruel punishment? maybe the stars planned this, as the angel of dusk never was meant to have purity in the first place. She looked down on earth instead of up the skies where she’d be expected to be in. Looking down, a twisted smile on her face as she gazed upon earthlings.

‘oh how i wish i could descend, for her gaze to fall upon me. Maybe she would never leave me..? Infinite sky.. you have been cruel to me for far too long…’

..maybe the gods did hear her pleas after all.

Wondering around the streets, every step she took echoed.. sudden lack of the wings that she once wished she could snap into pieces made her long for their existence again. Maybe they were there and she just didn’t feel them, but why would it matter? The brunette waves of her forever ruined hair was now in contact with the breeze after eons.

if only she had kept her mouth shut.

or was it truly good that she spoke out?

The world, stepping on blades of grass as the weak common plants would crush underneath her heels.. was this what she felt like when she got to step on earth before the start of existence?

being back.. it wasn’t usual. after what felt like forever… maybe this was meant for her re-discovery.

‘I’m only ever yours- please don’t shove my grip off.. i beg of you!’

A stoic gaze thrown in her way, a bashing kick to her chest.

‘G-gah!-’

-and a thump to the floor. she let out a moan when she stepped on her chest with all her strength, crushing her ribcage as she let out a scream of pain

‘P-please..’

Only sounds of her heavy and hitched breathing, shaking from the crushing weight pressed on the centre of her chest as she laid on the floor

‘..more.’

A ruthless kick to her face, throwing her across the floor, making her nose bleed

“You’re pathetic” she spat out.

Only a cry-like moan of pleasure from the saint thrown across the floor. Bloodied and broken wings, nose like a red faucet leaking uncontrollably, and eyes half lidded with blurry vision as she kept on smiling, looking at her

After all.. it was always for her.

She asked for this after all, she begged to be on this earth full of sin just for her.

she leaned down and pulled her up painfully by her collar

“You insolent-

-slap.

-Pathetic,

-another slap, even harsher

-Mindless mortal”.

Suddenly, she pulled her into a kiss, the blood on the pure’s cracked lips coming in contact with hers as she tightened her pulling grip on her collar,

Gasps of air as her saliva felt like venom in her mouth, yet also so intoxicating like a drug.. was this what a god felt like?

‘P-please-‘

she whimpered desperately, cut off by her short breaths from the amount of wrecking pain on her chest, her face, her wings that have been snapped like toothpicks one by one… everywhere

pain caused by her.

pain that made her want more, more and even more.

As her tongue took over her mouth, making her squirm and gasp for air, her pupils dilating as she gazed at her god. Her hand at the throat of the ‘holy’, choking her whilst making her more and more desperate within the kiss. Tears were at the corners of the angel’s eyes, her broken and now dirtied wings making her want to scream in pain since her chokehold made her body press more and more onto the floor, bending her once pure white wings. Her other hand at her wrist, nails scratching and leaving small cuts right on her veins as she was seeking pleasure under the pain of her control.

She was breaking her so well.

She was an addiction

She was like a drug, making her become addicted more and more. She was in charge.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t real.

#writing #oc fanfiction #dark content

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