“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-
thinking about yakuza!gojo and yakuza!geto whose families have both issued proposals to your own yakuza family. and the two aren't very interested in marriage -- until you've gathered them both up and threaten them to convince their families to rescind the proposals. and suddenly, they're very interested in you.
and now you have two yakuza heirs fighting over who gets to marry you.