a 30 y/o drunk man came up to me in a nightclub the other night and said “the economy might be shit but at least we have niall horan” 

are we done pretending supernatural is a good show

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

Woke Up Near the Sea

In the morning I awoke to seaweed lodged in the back of my throat like words I’ve been pulling out of my mouth during drunken phone calls at 4 in the morning. I dreamt of tangerine skies meeting for an afternoon affair with the Atlantic ocean. She kept catching glimpses of me between exhaustion and discontentment but still insisted I was pretty with eyes wide shut.

I found her tightroping along the horizon, singing the tongue of mermaids while she watched tangerine melting into azure. She was a vision draped in satin and laced in promises of something far more than everything we already knew to be real. She said my name the way sonnets were whispered in the ears’ of lovers; she made each letter sound like something worth listening to. She hurled out obscenities when the velvet blanket was pulled over us at the end of it all. I wanted to burn her voice - watch her mouth turn into a Chinese lantern that would burn out too quickly.

We sat on the ocean floor and I watched as she drew shapes into sand with her fingertips. She asked how someone like me could ever be lonely, and I couldn’t tell her then but now I know that loneliness settles in the cavities of my heart when the vastness of the ocean wages a war against my everlasting desire to be closer to her.

When dawn approached, I only wished for my bones to feel like anchors but they could never bolt down into the ocean floor long enough for me to slip my salty limbs in the spaces between her legs. I could only murmur the things I meant for her to hear as the water flooded my lungs and pulled me away.

The pale grey overcast was blanketing across the sky like strings of dull pearls on her collarbone. In that time, I had become something else - like lost, washed up seashells that had drifted to Antarctica. I kept her muddy eyes in the lining of my skull, hoping that if they stayed there long enough, they could sink into me like when a ship gets swallowed whole by the ocean. I was breaking ankles and bruising heels trying to chase her down shores but eventually the memory of salt and tangerines were no longer electric in the corners of my mouth and you died each night with the sun. 

I woke up near the sea.

Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards

this person spent $100 on this application