You must learn her. You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to. You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept. And, this is how you keep her.

Junot Diaz- This is How you Lose Her (via

sonicetomeetyou

)

this

(via

thatfemale

)

I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul. This world is so guarded and fearful. I appreciate rawness so much.

Emery Allen (via h0odrich)

3 weeks in Vietnam went by in a blur

Single people want relationships, settled people wonder if they’re missing out on something, traveling types miss stability, stable ones are restless, old friends want new friends, new friends miss old friends, and basically almost everyone my age has some dangling worry trailing around after them everywhere that they’re somehow not doing everything, that what they’re doing is not altogether the right thing, that they are missing out. … Do not be ashamed. The doubt is natural, and everyone you know – yes, even that person – carries it sometimes too. Allow yourself to be peaceful. Allow yourself satisfaction in what you have. If you really don’t like it, allow yourself permission to make changes.

Lillian Schneider  (via slightlycaptivated)

What currently defines me, fits me like an awkward sweater.

Too amazing

She began to miss the moments that never happened. Reminisced of a non-existent past.

A romanticized history--that was built all in her head.

A  Little Bent

out of shape because I haven’t been able to grasp the reigns of everything that I am supposed to be so in control of--they’ve been slipping through my fingers leaving nothing but a burn. Leaving a bitter outline to any conversations I’ve been trying to formulate. It will always come down to the decisions I chose to make.

They always tell you to do what makes you happy.

This is easier said then done as I find myself constantly teetering on the scales of what’s considered logical, righteous and fair.

For once, I don’t want to think about consequences.

I just want to be selfish.

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via aureat)

I've let myself go through the past few years without making any resolutions mainly because of the fear that I wouldn't be able to make any commitments to myself.

So here it goes..None of that new year new me bullshit, but Jackie get your fucking act together and go find yourself before you start resenting yourself.

And yes.. my bitterness has begun to creep across my shoulders and bleeding into my day to day.

SO.  I owe this to myself this year to create some list of reminders to keep myself in check.

Create beginnings: new experiences, places, relationships, & opportunities. You need to start somewhere--stop holding yourself back.

Decide: Let go or live on--this will be the hardest one yet--you've spent years dwelling--let's not waste anymore time & energy. It's been sitting way too heavily on your chest.

Learn: Stop passively watching--go learn something new.

Apply: Apply whatever you've been learning to whatever opportunities come your way. Stop second guessing your knowledge and speak up. Stop waiting for the approval of everyone around you and pull the trigger.

Find that passion: lose yourself in it-- Whatever it may be. Your work, the music, your books, your writing. Lose yourself in it.

Write: Even if you have to force yourself to. Redundant memorandums & work emails don't do anything for you and your soul knows it.

Be in the present: Live in the moment. Stop taking everything that wakes around you for granted by thinking so far ahead or dwelling in the past.

"Learn to love the parts of me that no one claps for"--thank you Rudy Francisco.

Take care of yourself: And do it for you..not the number on the scale--not for anyone else. Do it because it makes you feel good, do it because you like challenge yourself, do it because you like to better yourself.

Refocus. Re-align--Go. Take a better look at your hourglass, the sand is slipping through faster than you've imagined.

If not now then when?

Good company is all you need.

We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.

Carson Mccullers (via psych-facts)

My new book Lullabies is now available via Amazon,BN.com + The Book Depositoryandbookstores worldwide.

To My sister, my rock.

My toast that I babbled through for my sisters wedding...

  Oh how we’ve grown up from the times we would fight and you would lock me in the bathroom while I was kicking and screaming.

The beauty of our relationship goes beyond sisterhood & friendship.. You represent my solid ground.

You were the first person who encouraged me to be true to myself and  you were also the only one who would cover up for me throughout highschool and college and supported my bad decisions--like any good sister should--you justified them as part of a good learning experience. We definitely know how to have a good time together but most importantly we keep each other grounded,  What you’ve done for me throughout this lifetime is beyond words to describe, you’re my role model, mentor, best friend--someone that I and all your loved ones could always count on. I’ve never been more proud and thankful to have such a beautiful, strong and selfless sister like you. No matter how outspoken or ridiculous you can  be-- my love and respect for you is undeniable.

Throughout all of life’s fluctuations, Ian you will be blessed to have this gem by your side to ride through it all.

And to Ian, don’t act like you’re not family already, but this is yours and the rest of the Meyn clans official welcoming to our more than crazy family. Ian I am so happy that Brina has finally met someone that could keep up with her, that matches and understands her crazy. I;ve never seen someone who could make Brina laugh like you can. I know she can be a force to be reckoned with at times, but your persistence is what got her, and  I’m gonna let you know that’s what will keep her. Throughout the past couple years you’ve demonstrated nothing but love, respect and understanding to her as well as our family.  I know that she’s in good hands when she’s with you. You truly bring a light to Brina’s life and for that I want to thank you.

So to the bride and groom some words of wisdom…may you never lie, steal, cheat or drink..but if you must lie, lie in each others arms, if you must steal, steal away from bad company, if you must cheat, cheat death, and if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away…cheers to Sabrina and Ian.

I spy.