September 2021

I have to say that sometimes things just work out the way you never intended.

I bought the One Minute Influencer course in May and it came with a cheap offer for the Rank Makers Live some months down the line. I did the course, more or less, but took NO action. I had given up on NWM to be honest, thinking I was going to just go with teaching and not bother anymore.

Then I got notification that RML was about to start and I really honestly almost wanted to give it a miss. Then I thought, I'd already paid for it. Why not just attend. It was of course at an ungodly hour starting at 11pm till 6am the first day, till 9am the 2nd day and 6am the 3rd day. I thought it was going to be a repeat of GoPro where I was hanging in there the 1st day, and the 2nd & 3rd days would be goners. Au contraire. The first day, I called off early (I went to bed at around 4 or 5). The second day was REALLY good and I totally didn't feel tired. I was awake the whole time! And I took good notes. The 3rd day I also stayed awake the whole time, slept during their lunch break, and I got up and joined the rest of it.

I honestly didn't think RML was going to do anything for me. GoPro totally didn't do it for me. They were super slick, super on time and had high production values, no tech glitches. But I didn't get much from it. RML was smaller and not as slick, they didn't always start on time, there were technical problems -- the breakout rooms were a mess the first time we went into breakout rooms -- but it really lit something inside me. On the first day I thought, oh no... it's all just motivational stuff and stories galore. Little did I understand, THAT WAS WHAT I NEEDED. The stories especially. The laser coaching for people who were like me. I bawled my eyes out at some of their stories. Some I didn't relate to, but some I REALLY DID. The one that got me was this guy who came from a comfortable family, parents weren't hard on him, allowed him to do whatever, etc. (Sound familiar?) And the advice he got was the advice I needed to hear: it's harder to get out of a comfortable situation than it is to get out of a desperate situation.

Long story short, it made me want to do NWM again. A couple of weeks down the line, I realised I needed the Rank Makers group. The push came when there was an offer to be "grandfathered" into their new platform called RMU (Rank Makers Uni). It's a monthly fee for Rank Makers but affordable for even me. Later I realised why it's priced that way (he wants it to be available to everyone). I can always switch to annual payment later (I probably will) and I think I'll be entitled to a small discount.

The best part is the structure and DAILY action steps they give in Rank Makers. It forces me to take daily action. I've decided to finally get started on cold-market prospecting. I just randomly pick people. First it was based on people looking for part-time jobs. Then it was location. The very first person I messaged actually replied immediately! I was caught off-guard. I didn't expect it. She said ok to viewing the video and she actually watched it immediately (Jeaniego is great in this respect cos I can see if they've viewed it and how much of it). She said she wasn't interested. I thought that was very nice of her to actually tell me nicely! It was a good start to an activity that I admit I wasn't at all motivated to do. Now I'm just doing it. I've set myself a small target to do per day. I have to do this. If I don't, it's just stupid. It's just copy and paste. And just to have faith!

The marketing part is a bit trickier. I've been doing lives pointlessly because I'm not planning my content. I don't even have a CTA, which is the whole point of doing marketing. I've started putting together some info for a lead magnet. I don't know if it'll work. I'll just keep throwing stuff at the wall till something sticks.

For the record, after MONTHS of faffing about and being undecided, I've decided to go with stay-at-home moms who want to make a bit of pocket money at home. The type of SAHM is the one who has lost her confidence from being out of the work force for too long, have lost her identity, becomes less than good-looking and want to regain her old confident/pretty self back. It's really just me in the past, which is a no-brainer and I don't know why I took so long to decide on this. I had already heard the advice to be the guide for the past-me and teach from that experience.

My 2 areas of focus: a) skillsets - retraining the brain (get rid of mummy brain), mindset b) looks - skincare, weight loss

Also, as if the universe has planned this all along, Auntie Annette has also chosen this time to start Asea (she had promised to get in touch with me when she was ready, and she finally did! Yay! I feel rewarded for taking action).

June 2021

I've been derailed for a few months. Two months, since I started teaching English to a group of Senior 3 girls. I've been struggling to get my English teacher brain back in order again, and I feel like a newbie all over again.

Anyway, I purchased a course from Ray Higdon about 3 weeks ago, wanting to get back in gear and wanting to do the TikToks that I said I would do. He had just put out a new course called 1-minute influencer and it was priced at a point that was painful but attainable, so I got it. It also had a 30-day money-back guarantee, which I thought I was totally going to get because the course interface was less impressive than the Network Marketing Pro one by Eric & Marina Worre. Also, I saw that he was repurposing some old stuff from other courses/workshops, but I didn't want to judge till I went through it. So I've gone through at least 80% of it, and some of it is meh, and some are really good. I think it may be worth keeping the course in order for me to ILT (invest learn teach).

The company is running a really great promo right now, which has kicked my butt back in action. Mostly getting the current people to get on board (it's a bit of a no-brainer), and surprisingly, I got interest from Uncle W. which came out of left-field. He's been following the stuff on our big whatsapp group. So I called him today and explained it to him. I sent him info and he asked me to email him the pdf attachment cos his phone couldn't open it, which shows high interest. So we'll see. I've learnt to detach myself from the outcomes.

The detachment comes much easier because I now have my online teaching gig. So I think psychologically, it's good for me to be doing these 2 things together although it really sucks the energy out of me. I was toying with the idea of doing more teaching gigs but I'm scared too.

Anyway, this promo thing has been a good kick in the butt for me. I've been contacting new people, and I even tried cold-prospecting on FB. While trying to order a vege box service, lol. Just saw people on there asking for info and I decided to pick one and message the person, an international schoolteacher in Ipoh. It's good practice. The more I do this prospecting thing, the less awkward it feels. I just ask the question, and detach. If they say send, I send. If they say no, I'm like, ok. It used to crush me when they would avoid me or whatever. Just felt bad, even though I knew it was part and parcel of this thing called word-of-mouth marketing.

You have to go for the no's. Some guy early on in my personal dev quest was like, "no's are for losers" and I really believed it. Stupid thing to believe. Statistics don't lie. Even the best barely change the odds. I can't remember the exact figure but I remember BK saying something like 8 no's before you get 2 yes's or something. So the mindset shift is... love the no's because it's getting you closer to the yes.

So I'm still on this bizarre adventure, requiring me to do things that goes against my grain. Like talking to a lot of people. And then asking them to buy something. But I also realise that it's making me grow in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise.

Some days, I feel like ugh, I hate this.

Some days, I feel good about it all.

I like a lot about where I'm at, and the team I'm in. I wish I were a bigger contributor, but I'm doing as much as I humanly can at the moment. This company feels right for me. I want to make something of this, even if it's just a small slice of the pie. I don't know if I'll ever get to legacy level, maybe if I keep at it I'll get there when I'm 80. I dunno! I'd be happy if I could get a stable income. But as D says, "you need more bodies!" (more associates in the tree). She's left me alone for now. I'm really grateful that she just lets me be. I should drop her a note actually. Will do it now before I head to bed.

I also realised one very important thing. The hurdle I have to cross is not the people saying no, or fear of rejection (well, that was true and real in the beginning) but I'm starting to get used to it. I haven't even really gotten real rejection because I don't follow up well, and because of that, I don't even get to collect a rejection. I've decided to work on that for now.

To do: Always collect a decision. Then move on.

Another good one to remember: this business loves momentum. If the fire is constantly being switched on and off, the water will never boil. A slow boil will get me there, and not bursts of high fire.

My initial crazy 10 a day prospecting was killing me. I couldn't keep up and it was frazzling to my nerves. I think if I kept it to a minimum of 1 new person a day, every day, that I connect with, that would serve me better than 10 for 2 weeks and then hiding for 2 months afterwards because of how afraid I am to feel crazed.

Also, I'm going to avoid pitching close friends because their non-response and lack of even moral support makes me negative about them, which I don't like. I'm like, "why can't you just tell me no nicely?" Maybe they just don't know how to do it, so they just keep quiet. I do still feel it's rude to not just say something, anything, so I think to avoid feeling this way, I'll just forget about them. Not everyone's warm market is warm! I think I will do better with those I'm not so close with. And probably cold prospecting on social media, when I eventually get round to doing it consistently.

The problem with me and putting out videos is that I don't have a message. I don't know what I want to be known for. To be putting out value consistently requires passion about a topic. I don't currently have that.

At first I was fired up about ... I help people gain financial literacy! But that's something I have to actually put effort into learning and I can't at the moment because I'm putting all this effort into learning teaching English all over again.

I still like the financial literacy idea because it gels well with pitching a business opp, which is what I want to do. I'll get to it. I just have to make space for it. I think I'm getting more comfortable with the teaching stuff. I don't feel as stressed out as before. So soon I'll be able to do the financial literacy thing and start creating content around it.

Takeaways for today from Ray's training.

CONSISTENCY

MOMENTUM

BE A HUMAN

End of May.

It's almost the middle of the year. I have achieved almost close to nothing. The lack of results = the lack of motivation to do more.

This is a tough sort of job for me because inherently I don't really enjoy talking to/texting people.

Someone said: If you don't like people, this is the wrong business for you.

It's not that I don't like people. I have a small air-kissing tank.

There are other ways of doing this business besides reaching out to my warm market but I can't wrap my head around social media. To be honest, I hate social media. The noise and the narcissism! Mostly the noise. But it's my only other avenue now since my warm market is cold. But I can't even decide on my avatar which is the most basic of basic things to do.

So I'm pretty much stuck in a rut. I just purchased a short-video course from Ray Higdon. Not as slick and professionally done as stuff by the Worres, but it's the content I'm after. So far I haven't really got much out of it yet. If it's bad, I can ask for my money back.

The first thing I should do is just decide on the avatar already! No matter what it is.

Then make content.

I've invested so much in courses. I should do the most logical thing which is ILT (invest, learn, teach). Just teach from my notes. I took all of them so that I could build my business, and I'm looking for business-builders (duh).

So my fomo made me get off my butt and message a ton of people. I’m so tired. 

Next would be to follow up on all of them. Not today. I have to get myself ready for my tuition ladies on Friday and I’m still totally clueless about what kind of tone I want to set with this class. They’re very serious about learning, and I want to do my best for them, but I don’t want it to be all serious, I want them to have fun while learning too. So I have to sit down and meditate on this.

Just finished the 1 week meditation course that came bundled with the Be Extraordinary quest, and I absolutely love what it has done for me. I think the changes are subtle, but I feel so much more grounded now. And I really feel like I’ve got things, that the Universe has got my back. And to just go on the journey, and appreciate the paths that come my way.

Things really do go smoothly when you’re clear on what you’re doing to help yourself up to the next level. I realise that every step I’ve been on, suffered on, cried on, was really just a stepping stone to the next level. And they were necessary for my growth. 

Now I’m starting to understand why Mal keeps going on about personal development. It’s essential to traverse NWM because it requires inner strength.

So after the whole RM50 thing, I’ve decided to stop wasting so much time by going hello, waiting 1-2 days, and then ATQ. I’m going straight for the ATQs right after the hellos. Let’s see how it pans out.

I am being so stupid and reactionary about this whole “someone took my prospect” thing. I’ve had first dibs on this thing for months. And now I’m upset at myself because I feel I’ve lost something I should have had. It’s like I’ve been standing next to an RM50 on the floor for months, and I’m upset that someone else has bent down and picked it up.

Start picking up the RM50s left on the floor. Just start now. Stop thinking about the ones that are gone.

By the way, I’m totally loving what the Mindvalley quests are doing for me. Was faced with this situation today where I felt the hairs on my neck standing up because I was starting to feel enraged about someone’s judgment of me, and I was able to just breathe deeply, calm down and snap out of that zone by using the forgiveness phase. 

Today something I heard on the BeEx quest made me totally break down because it was so true and I realised why I was making myself so unhappy. The universe sends things into our lives for a good reason. It’s always exactly what we need. Maybe not what we wanted, but what we need for our growth. It’s about finding happiness in the now - the process, the journey - while working hard towards our vision for the future.

RM50s. Work hard. Be happy. This is a worthy journey to be on. (It’s not difficult either. There are people who have your back. All you have to do is ask. What other business gives you that?)

So disappointed to know through a 3rd party that someone who was on my prospect list has already been approached. ARGH! I need to step up my efforts and ATQ to every person who’s in my address book. Don’t care what the answer is, as long as they heard it from me FIRST!!!

Girl, you gotta get your shit together if you’re serious about this.

Now that I know what my steps are, I have no issues with contacting new people. I used to dread it so much in the beginning because it felt so alien and I did not know what to do really. Well, I did know what I was supposed to do, but it didn’t feel natural. I knew it would take time - that’s what it meant when people say things like, you really start learning when you start doing it and it WILL feel strange. Everything is strange till you do it enough times.

Was talking in front of a classroom of students easy? No. It was terrifying. The first time was mortifying and terrifying. And I had to deliver a lesson plan on top of all that. But then it got easy. 

So now that I have no problems ATQ (asking the question), my next challenge is following up like a pro. I know I should set a time for the next contact but it’s not ingrained in me yet.

Anyway, my current plan is to contact people I think will say no. I know I shouldn’t prejudge, but I think it makes it so much easier to not give a fck about the outcome when I think they will say no (weird thinking I know, but it kinda works and I think it gives me a psychological upper hand). Of course I want them to say yes, I’m not an idiot, but I also understand this is not for everyone, no matter how good I think it is. I mean, ask me to join 2 years ago and I would have said no too. It’s all about timing and where they are in their lives.

So I started off trying to make lists - names, dates, status updates, etc. That’s what a responsible person would do, right?

I like to think of myself as a responsible person. But I couldn’t keep it up. And it got tiresome trying to remember what I did on what day DAYS after the fact. So since I’m my own boss, I made the executive decision to change tactics. Keeping records is not income-generating.

Now I’m just shooting messages off to whoever pops up on my radar. I think the universe will take care of the rest for me. I mean, they’re popping up for a reason, right? I’m going to just try and tap into my intuition rather than sitting there cracking my head about how to do all of this.

The whole “lead with business / product” thing I don’t worry about too much. I lead with whatever feels right for that person. It could be wrong, but I just go with my gut. 

The ONE GOOD THING that’s come out of this month’s “blitz” (I’m a bit hesitant to use that label because it wasn’t much of one) is that I have stopped feeling self-conscious about the whole how-are-you-hey-just-curious conversations I have been having. I do still feel a little nervous about their responses but I’ve stopped feeling self-pity when they say no or ghost me. Almost everyone will say sure I’ll check it out, which is nice. 

Funny aside - I got to the point where I got real good at asking people to take a look, but I didn’t know what to say to follow up that sounded natural to ME. Maybe I’m being egotistical and that’s why I am not already a Diamond (haha) but I tried the “What did you like about it” and the person just ghosted me even though at first she was layan-ing me. I know it works for everyone else, but to be honest, I was on the receiving end of that question from another network marketer and I hated it. I know the power of wh- questions but I don’t like this one. Am I standing in my way by not using it? I don’t think so... 

I think it works better when you’re actually in front of that person you’re talking to. Or on a zoom, because you get a sense of whether the person is actually into it or not. When it’s just texting, it’s just off.  

And since I’m pretty much 100% texting people, I decided on something easier and more natural. I used it once on this person I didn’t really know, and he responded after that, so I think it’s a kinder, more considerate way to ask someone whether they like it or not.

So here is what I came up with. I share the resources, then I either say it right away, or I say it in my follow up something to this effect: Let me know if this is something you’re interested in. If it’s not for you, totally cool. Just let me know either way. 

So they feel comfortable saying no. 

I don’t mind the no’s! Really I don’t anymore. My responsibility is just to educate. I’ve shared the info. I’ve told you about something really groundbreaking that could save lives/make you money. But I’m not bigger than your destiny. Now you have this info, it’s up to you what you want to do with it. You know this option exists. End of story. If people want to go to the next step, my job is to make it happen, support them after the purchase, and help them have a positive experience.

My job right now is just to tell as many people as possible within the time I have in the day. I want to make this a priority, like a job, but it’s a juggling act. 

I’m working on a side “project”-- a friend whose ambition is an extra RM300 a month. Can’t go into detail without writing a long story but this one needs baby steps and a major mindset shift. This to me is pretty nice to do because I’m feeling in that "zone” where I have to break down something complicated to bite-sized easily digestible pieces, depending on the students’ ability/comprehension, something I used to do as a teacher and I loved that part about teaching! That’s why grammar lessons started becoming fun to teach. Then again, those were the days I could spend an entire day working on a presentation for ONE aspect of grammar. It’s ok, I do what I can. No exam at the end of this lesson. And this lesson can go as long as it needs to.

I think what I learn out of this could be turned into Tiktoks as well! We’ll see. I’ve been avoiding videos since my 100-day challenge ended because I haven’t wanted to get dressed for social media. But soon.

Very important note to self: When it starts feeling icky and slimy and mercenary, it’s because I’m focusing on the wrong thing. 

Remember, there are people out there looking for me. They, too, are praying for something to happen that will help them.

So pray, to be guided onto the path that leads to these people. The rest are just the waves that help propel me to the ones I’m seeking.

I don’t yet know these people who are searching. Keep looking, keep connecting, keep spreading the vibes of compassion and finally, offer endless gratitude for having a gift worth giving.

I’m frikking inconsistent with my prospecting. I’m trying to settle Z’s kindy stuff, doing some major personal development, trying to take care of stuff like onboarding new customers, cooking, divine service, etc. 

I shouldn’t let this slide. Contacting at least 1 new person a day needs to be a constant.

Not to mention I’ve completely thrown social media to the side. To be honest, it feels like a chore because I go there and get sidetracked by stuff there! Which I hate! I need to go in with a game plan and blinders on. Stop kepoh-ing stuff that does not help with prospecting! But I’m a busybody! I don’t mean to be, but all that stuff is just lying there.... Anyway I have to get back to it at some point because that’s where people who are not on my address book are!

OK I just took a long musical interlude and went to FB and did some work (comments, likes, adds). 

I need to systematise my work really. It’s a bit too much of a “oh I haven’t done that in ages, let’s do some of it now.”

And now it’s way past my bedtime and I hope this doesn’t make me too tired tomorrow. I’ve told myself to wake up EARLIER so that I can get more stuff done. I used to think getting up at 7.30am was early. But now that I have to get Z to school by 8.30am, she has to be up by 8 at the very latest, which means at 8am, my me-time is over. Literally. After she goes to school, it’s DS time. Then lunch time. Then depending on the day of the week, DS time again. Then dinner time. I need to put work time in there somewhere (now I’m starting to see where my problem is with my inconsistency....). Work-time needs to be scheduled in, come on Ju... This is just as important as all the other stuff!

And within work-time, I need to schedule in social media and follow-ups. Do the business in the stolen moments, says a guru. WHAT STOLEN MOMENTS ARE THERE?! Honestly, I hope my mindvalley quest will help me with this time thing.

Also, I have to figure out a way to guide a team member (she’s unofficially but I’m treating her as my team member, my first! Yay!) how to do this business with JUST Whatsapp. She’s completely untech-savvy besides Whatsapp. But her why is strong. So I have to get creative with this one. And I have to remember it has to be duplicable (i.e., she has to be able to teach her team members the same thing).

I was really intrigued by the Silva Method masterclass but it didn’t move me past the free masterclass. And usually I just skip over the other stuff that I see. This time this one really appealed to me. Be Extraordinary. Something prompted me, watch the masterclass now. I had an hour to do it, so I did. What he talked about moved me to tears. It made absolute sense. So I signed up. I’m confident that I can get my money back really easily (done it before) if I don’t like it but so far I do. 

So instead of keeping a separate journal as he says, I’m going to do it here. I feel this is part of my NWM journey. I think my real journey may very likely be bigger than NWM but it’s what brought me here, today. 

So today, the lesson talked about the highest level (4) of human consciousness. This is when you transcend all other things and do things that are for giving back to the world. This is the altruism that I’m seeking. I’m so far from this. I have my omitama and teachings, but I’m not able to tap into that at all. I feel that maybe this is God helping me out by giving me tools I would need because I’m just not getting it by myself. 

The 4 qualities of Level 4 are: a deep sense of connectedness with the world, tapping into my intuition, intention being driven by inspiration, and luck being on your side. 

Homework is thinking back on one time in my life where I experienced one of these qualities.

The one that springs to mind is being driven by inspiration. When I would be struck by an idea just before a class that I did NOT prepare for, and was wondering up to 5 mins before I had to go into class what I would teach them, I would suddenly get an idea and the lesson would turn out to be staggeringly good. Beyond my expectations. They would be smiling, getting it, having fun. And I would be so happy. Those were the moments I felt completely in flow. And despite the unhappy circumstances outside the classroom (I loved teaching my kids, but I hated the spaceship I was in), those were the moments that kept me going. I had not just one such incident. There were many. Inspiration came just as I needed it. Each time, it was as if I was sliding downhill, easily, without resistance. And the ride was exhilarating and fulfilling. In a sense, it felt that luck was on my side as well, always being struck by good ideas when I felt the most clueless. I know all this was none of my own doing. It surely was not by design. It just came to me, these lightbulb moments, and I was certain it was by a power besides myself. Guardian angel, ancestors, God. That was the time I was also offering service as much as I could, with joy and sincerity. That, I do believe, is key.

OK so my blitz has slowed to a crawl but I’m being somewhat consistent in talking to someone uncontacted almost every day, and at least every other day. 

I was surprised that my easiest yes came from someone I hardly know. I didn’t even have her number in my phone till last week. I shared one day, and she said yes the next day. Whoa! This is what Jack Ma means when he says, the people who will most support you will not be the ones closest to you. And others have said the ones you eventually form relationships with will be people who aren’t even on your address book right now.

So maybe I should do a spate of “please give me the # of so-and-so.” The ones closest to me (besides the ones who got into it because they didn’t know I was the one selling it, see how pathetic it is to sell to your family!) are so far the least supportive. One even completely avoided my direct request to buy. He didn’t ghost me, so I give him that much. At least he didn’t give me an hour lecture on why I should not be doing this business (yes, someone did do that). Yes, these are my relatives. Hooray.

Well, keep going. Keep looking for those who are not within my sphere yet.

The Why the Why the Why - shut up already (what?! oh so that’s why)

See, this is the thing with NWM. You have to motivate yourself and be accountable to yourself. That’s hard. And that’s why they go on and on and on about the “why.” That’s the only thing that’s going to push you to action. 

To be honestly honest. My so-called why was never strong enough. That’s why I’m so bad at this. 

The other day I started coming to a realisation about not reaching out to the solution that’s right in front of me because I’m not open to it. But I don’t know what it is I’m not open to. It’s like this silly riddle that I can’t solve. What I do know is I’m tired of being that person who refuses to take what is readily available for the taking. I’m like that person in the reality show who’s in a pitch black room, trying to figure out what’s in front of her, and I can’t see jackshit, and I’m scared as hell about what it is I’m about to touch. JUST GRAB THE THING ALREADY YOU IDIOT. If you don’t like what you pick up, just throw it away.

Frazer Brookes is running a 5-day soc med blitz. A glimpse into the kind of work he does with his inner circle mastermind group. 

There are many ways to build a NWM business. This is one of them. 

It’s all about the process of “becoming.” Becoming more, becoming better, becoming all that’s possible.

Jim Rohn: If you want more, be more. He was worth half a billion dollars at the time of his death. 

At the end of the day, all those top guys will tell you it’s not about the money. It’s really about the choices you will have. One of them is building housing in Africa for the needy.

Yesterday, I was at the mall. A group of young ladies were there on a roadtrip with WWF. They were canvassing for donations. I couldn’t say no, even though we have our financial limitations. There were 3 choices on the form. But in reality, there was really only one feasible choice for me, because at the moment, I still lack having choices. 

I can’t help others, unless I become more.

My key, our key, I believe, is to look beyond ourselves. Today I pictured in my mind a beautiful, warm place like the branch of HQ in Takayama. I like that place because of its warm and welcoming vibrations. That’s the kind of place we need to build. This could very well be our role here. Our role is not to travel the world or go hob-nobbing with the nouveau riche. We already know this. That is not our destination. All that means NOTHING at the end of the day. We know this for a fact.

This is exactly why a beach holiday destination, a sprawling mansion, all those pictures that were supposed to inspire my “why” -- they did not move me at all. Now that I’m thinking about it more deeply, it is my subconscious telling me to look beyond these transient, physical, self-absorbed things.

This is why I needed this Tumblr. To sort out my muddled befuddled head.

I think I now have new direction. 

It’s not about the 500 dollars a month to meet my daily expenses. I want to be able to have the choice to improve the lives of human beings and animals who have no choices, no voices, because of the circumstances they were born in.

Look beyond. Way beyond. There lies the answer. Clear as day. 

There is no riddle. There’s only the inability to open my mind and see.

Ugh. My 30-day blitz is not going well. I’ve not done a damned thing for 2 days now. I don’t know how to do the business “in the stolen moments.” I honestly don’t know how! If I have stuff to do, my NWM gets no love at all. Time to double down and get to serious business tomorrow. Goddammit.

Thing is, I honestly, honestly hate looking at my phone the whole day. I feel guilty when I’m looking at my phone when Z is asking for my attention. I much prefer looking at her, and it kills me when I say I can’t play with her or whatever. I honestly hate that I’m not paying Z the attention she needs. I know this is the sacrifice I have to make, and this is something every working mother has to do, but I feel terrible how she’s stayed home a whole year with me and her school-learning has slowed to a bumper-to-bumper crawl. I bought a cartload of write & clean books to make up for some lost time. But all these need $. Sending her to kindy needs $$ as well. I have to hit my numbers if I want to do the best for her.

So they all say, “Don’t be attached to the outcome.”

OK. 

I think I’ve got to the point where I’ve stopped hoping for every single person to say yes. The whole steak every day thing. (If you have steak every day for breakfast, lunch & dinner, you won’t salivate over the next steak.)

The reality is that not everyone will understand (or take the time to understand) what this technology is or what it means for them. 

So the plan is going for the no’s -- you’ve got to get through enough no’s to get to the yes’s; it’s a numbers game. I’ve been to workshops where the “guru” tells you that only losers will go for the no’s. I hate those guys. They’re inflating the hopes of the desperate and making people give up when they are getting more no’s than yes’s and wasting time trying to figure out WHAT they’re doing wrong when they’re just doing what needs to be done.

However.

I know there are loads of reasons why I haven’t hit paydirt. One is not hitting critical mass. 

Also people are maybe tired of being sold the old story of “best thing since sliced bread.” I know one person who has suffered a condition for decades, sees with her own eyes how it has helped another person suffering the same condition, and yet refuses to try the product. 

It’s all karma and acceptance anyway. We all have to suffer first. She has to suffer that condition. I have to suffer this frustration. 

I won’t give up because I believe in this. All of it.

***

Thinking about that person who refuses to try the product. I think there’s something in there for me to reflect on.

The solution is right in front of her(my) eyes. She(I) refuses to reach out and take it. It would fix her(my) problems if she(I) would only be open enough to accept this new & unfamiliar thing. She(I) suffers needlessly.

The solution is in front of me and I’m not taking it because I’m not open to it. 

Fudge. 

How is it so simple and yet so hard?

Note to self.

Because you changed companies, do not assume it is immediately apparent to the ones you’ve approached before! Two of them thought I was still going on about the same thing from before. 

The resources are not stronger than people’s memory imprints. (That’s actually quite an interesting thing to note!)

And it also means that the BRAND means nothing if not associated with the memory imprint. On hindsight, I understand it’s because their understanding of either thing is either very very limited or non-existent. 

Which now makes it clear why getting in the exposures is important. And the more exposures come from 3rd party sources such as FB, the better.

So if you’ve approached them before with the other thing, clarify first and foremost that this is something else completely.