Funny Joke – The Poker Playing Dog

So there’s a travelling salesman who loves to play poker.

Every town he visits, he manages to find a game.

One night he’s led to the back of a saloon, and seated among the locals is a German Shepherd.

The guy is surprised to see a dog at a poker table, but the dog appears to be very well behaved, so the salesman sits down to play.

Well, after an hour or so the salesman and the dog are in a showdown. The salesman raises, the dog raises back, the salesman raises again, and the dog calls.

The salesman shows his hand: three queens.

The dog turns over his hand: a flush.

The salesman is so impressed, he isn’t even mad that he lost the hand.

“You know,” he says to the one of the locals, “Not only can that dog play, but he’s really pretty good.”

“Yeah,” says the local. “He plays okay, but we usually beat him.”

“Is that right?” says the salesman.

“Yeah,” says the local. “Whenever he has a good hand, he wags his tail.”

Clean Joke: The Story Of The Missing Penguins

A man is driving down the highway…

… when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside it.

He pulls over and the truck driver tells him, “Quick! You’ve gotta take these birds to the zoo while I wait for AAA!”. The truck driver gives the man $50 for his troubles.

The man agrees and drives off with the penguins.

After fixing his vehicle, the truck driver heads over to the zoo to make sure the penguins made it safely.

There’s no sign of the man or the penguins.

The truck driver panics and starts scouring the town for his missing penguins.

An hour later he passes by the local cinema, when who does he see leaving the theater but the guy who said he’d help him, 25 penguins still in tow.

“What happened!” the truck driver screams. “I told you to take them to the zoo!”

“I did,” the man answers.

“But I had a little money left over, so I thought I’d take them to a movie too.”

The bar offered $1,000 to anyone who could beat the bartender

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then give the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze another drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people tried but nobody was able to do it.

One day a scrawny, little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit.

He said in a squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.”

After the laughter died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon and squeezed it. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man who clenched it in his small fist.

Soon the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as six drops of juice fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000 and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living?”

The little man replied with a winning smile,

“I work for the IRS!”

Good Jokes

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Clean Jokes

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