Lesson no. 274859: NEVER EVER STEAL FROM A WITCH. YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON 💥

BREAKING: a witch has just cast a spell on a seagull, transforming him into a Seattle Mariners fan to teach him a lesson in humility.

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

someone handed me this at a convention this past weekend where the fuck did it come from. where is he

If you go to the park at 3 in the morning the cops make a whole production out of it but what the fuck else am I supposed to do at 3 in the morning?

I was at a record fair and I mentioned autism and the guy was like 'do you wanna by some Talking Heads records?'

Communists and anarchists will spend all day talking about abstract concepts and structures like capitalism and the state, but willfully ignore the very real, tangible curse placed upon me by the foul necromancer

yea im wearing the kill shoes and the die pants

yea im wearing the shoes that squeez your feet and kill you and the pants with the rotating blades on the inside that make you die

I hate to be the one to tell you this but give up on not annoying people. Bother them. Text your friends first. Sing out loud to that song you like. Say hi to strangers. Take up space and prove you exist because no one is waiting around to ask you to.

how could i say no to a pretty girl like you.. lets throw a desktop wedding. i want all the icons to be there, all the folders and files. i love you forever

Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

*2025 kindergarten roll call* benrey?