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When you actually got a good nights sleep.
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Radio: Up next a beautiful song.
* Proceeds to play a song that I hate.
Me: You lied to me.
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I wanna thank Animal Crossing for helping me through this year.
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People: it's impossible to multitask.
Me: Works job while playing an imagine in my head on repeat throughout the whole day. * Excuse me, what you say?
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I was once asked out for coffee by a homeless man.
hey quick question but how the fuck do women not snap at every random annoying man who tries to start up a conversation with them in the streets
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Justin Bieber: Is it too late to say sorry?
Me: YESS!
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Me after rubbing the cat across my face:
I wonder what's making me sneeze? It's a mystery.
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i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying
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when you’re watching a movie and u recognize one of the actors in it from somewhere but u haven’t watched any of the movies or shows listed on their imdb
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I get road rage walking behind people.
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oh wow would you look at the time
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Wow the next Jurassic World movie looks awesome!
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