Pass Thru (2016)
My rating: 3/10
Honestly, at this point Neil's bizarre little power fantasies aren't even funny anymore. This is a scary, scary man.
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Chickboxer (1992)
My rating: 5/10
You know, I didn't know DeCoteau was involved with this thing, but suddenly everything makes a lot more sense. Especially the聽porn.
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Dancing Pirate (1936)
My rating: 4/10
The plot is fluffy nonsense, which would be completely fine if the song and dance stuff were any good - unfortunately, it is not really; it seems like they genuinely just had Collins improvise a lot of it, so it looks rather haphazard and聽disjointed.
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Teen Sorcery (1999)
My rating: 4/10
We have The Craft at聽home
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Teenage Ghost Punk (2014)
My rating: 6/10
One of those comedies that are at their worst when trying to be funny - because the humor does not work at all, but the actual plot and characters are actually surprisingly engaging, well-written and well-acted. Plus I kind of like the end credit聽song.
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Prince of Bel Air (1986)
My rating: 5/10
Eh... it's fine, but not exactly fresh,聽y'know?
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Fame (2009)
My rating: 4/10
Generic, and severely overstuffed with subplots - it's like they wanted to get all the genre tropes combined into one movie, and in the process created a weird, unfocused, shambling...聽thing.
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The Mirror Crack'd (1980)
My rating: 6/10
Excellent cast, delivering excellent performances that are unfortunately somewhat wasted on a rather uneven script that sags quite a bit in the聽middle.
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It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
My rating: 8/10
I do like how the thing that pushes him into a full on panic attack is his wife being (GASP!) a聽librarian.
No but seriously, this is a great movie, and my cockles were quite thoroughly聽warmed.
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East Is East (1999)
My rating: 5/10
Look, I get that it's culturally significant and all, and it's pretty well put together, but man, is it not for me at all.
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Riders (2002)
My rating: 4/10
Your garden variety of early 2000s douches (Frosted Tips, The Scruffy One, The Black Guy and, of course, The Girl) do X-TREME HEISTS and fuck around a lot, which leads to some finding out and various shenanigans, all of them desaturated because The Matrix had just come out a few years earlier and it was the style at the time.聽Bleh.
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Delgo (2008)
My rating: 5/10
Honestly not that bad. Sure, it's very generic, and I could've done without the christuckerian comedy sidekick, but there's a serviceable plot there, the whole thing is fairly competently produced and animated, and I don't hate the creature and character designs - they're a bit odd, but not entirely unpleasantly聽so.
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King of the Lost World (2004)
My rating: 3/10
The people in this movie always refer to the big monkey as "Him", once outright stating "We cannot speak his name" - you could almost hear the "for legal reasons" at the end of that聽sentence.
Anyway, this is The Asylum's take on King Kong, and it is, of course, terrible and boring. Bruce Boxleitner does get to tell a guy to nuke King Legally Distinct From Kong, though, so that was probably kind of聽fun.
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Tai Chi Hero (2012)
My rating: 6/10
Much like the first movie, a solid bit of steampunk wuxia silliness. I like how the colonizing bastard with the bad accent is revealed to be living in a giant clockwork skeleton in the end, that's very聽subtle.
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Fateful Findings (2013)
My rating: 3/10
When I started this, I had a mild headache. By the time it was over, I had a full grown migraine, with flop sweats and severe nausea. Now, I cannot prove that this movie caused that, but聽man...
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Chicken People (2016)
My rating: 5/10
Competently made, but I gotta say, the way those people were manhandling their birds while discussing all the perceived imperfections they needed to breed out... kind of made me uncomfortable. Also the inbreeding. That was definitely a squick moment for聽me.
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Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning (2005)
My rating: 6/10
Boy, in retrospect you can really tell that this was made by the same people as Iron Sky - it has the same mix of crude political humor, shoddy parody, and space battles. I really used to love this one as a kid, and I gotta say, it doesn't hold up nearly as poorly as I thought it would - it's still not great, but for what it is, not half bad聽either.
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