mossmurdock
“any last words?”
○ moss ○ nineteen ○ any pronouns ○18+ blog!
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'george wright's garden in dorset, england' in livingsculpture - paul cooper (2001)
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please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts
#yes! but youve gotta keep going and especially if u love it!!#my dramatic high school self decided i wanted to give up writitng#but then i looked back at all my old stuff and its like?!! it was good!! and i felt silly#same thing with anything else really i think#i think its like learning curves and also just self consciousness getting to ya cause u love what youre doing so much
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grilled cheese
1, 2, 3
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Toxic gfs please 😖
TOXIC GIRLFRIENDSSSSSS
anon, my love, my world, how could i see this without immediately thinking about mei mei??
i was literally thinking about this ask all day, so a lot crossed my mind!! but what i really ended up latching onto was a childhood friends sort of au (v canon divergent)
obvs, i feel like having any sort of relationship with mei mei that lasts this long is going to turn sort of twisty and complicated. she's so honest about her greed, and i feel there's def an always present insecurity surrounding the reader concerning their value to her. not a pressing one, but one that's simply there. addressed so rarely that it's become dust covered and logical.
the tests start off small, like her asking you to do certain tasks for her. little acts of service like grabbing her snacks for lunch, or doing her work, or offering your gym clothes when she forgets her own. the people around you call you a pushover and a doormat. but things have always been this way, and the benefits are so easily identifiable.
she's kind to you. and despite what everyone else says, you're aware that once you turn your back that it's hypocrisy that fuels their attitudes, because it's your shoulder bumping against mei mei's when the two of you leave the room.
you're turned golden with the connection. she's always had midas on her side, tucked into her lashes, her teeth, her nails, any part of her that she can drag along your skin.
it's a hot summers day when she brings you out to an abandoned train track. she's brought you to the edge of a thicket. the old rusting tracks look like they're the ageing borders to another world.
something in your stomach croaks as mei mei playfully balances along the steel rail. your feet remain carefully planted into the loose gravel. the sound of hollow metal and rock clashing against each other is a pleasant one. despite your subconscious unease, you briefly close your eyes and take in the warm air around you as she reaches out to grab onto your hand whenever she misplaces her balance.
she brought you out here to celebrate getting through another year together. your ears had burned at her words: together. so much implication behind such a simple word. you found your mind running as she brought you out without any other explanation. it wouldn't matter as long as you were together. as long as you were there whenever she threatened to tip over while treading along the thin metal beneath her with her arms splayed out like an elegant bird's.
the thicket walks along with you both, never ending in its length. just as mei mei hops off the rails and stops walking, you wonder just how she stumbled upon this place.
"we're here." she circles you languidly as your steps also slow.
"here?" you question dryly as she stands behind you.
you're facing the thicket head on now, eyes sucked into a whirlpool of sameness and obscurity. the endless and thick lanes of bark all mold into something foreign. the birds have ceased to chirp. something rancid seems to waft out of its clearing, like a gaping mouth that's feasted and starved.
"yes," mei mei whispers. her mouth is dangerously close to your ear.
she rests her head on your shoulder lightly, staring up at you with a look you've seen a thousand times before.
your head rests against hers, leaning into the touch.
"what is it?" you ask. eager, and perfectly pliant.
she chuckles softly, raising her hands to block your vision. they act as a blindfold, though her palms seem softer than any fabric.
"a surprise," she answers cheekily.
she makes contact with your skin, completely darkening your vision. your senses frenzy as one is dampened. for a moment, all you're able to register is mei mei's body against yours.
there's the faint chance of her perfection melding into whatever it is you've made of yourself.
the chance is however eradicated by the sudden rise of a rank smell. it oppresses the other scents around you so strongly that the feeling of it sliding down your throat has you choking on your own breath and spit.
with the loss of your sight, the rot in the air grows heavy with every passing second, stalking its blind prey.
your expression twists beneath mei mei's palms and she seems to feel the shift of every muscle in your skin. her fingers separate from themselves slowly, allowing light to creep into your vision through her command and nothing else.
what hobbles across the train tracks turns the spit in your mouth rancid.
what you can only identify as a discoloured mound of flesh and teeth writhes between the thick trunks of the thicket ahead of you. its skin gleams with bright and volcanic cysts, oozing the smell of rotten and overly ripened fruit.
"mei—"
"shh," she hushes. her lips are so close that they're able to graze your ears now, her breath fanning across your face. she smells sweet, like lollipops.
"just look," she demands. her voice progressively becoming shrouded by the caws of birds
her hands have hardened around your skin and if you weren't so frozen by fear you would recognize the testing and prodding of her fingertips. they try to spot any flaking, any fools gold feathered across you.
when she finds nothing, when your feet remain planted into the ground and you remain in her clutches, when you mold and gouge against her instead of crumbling, mei mei finds herself smiling.
she turns your body towards her just as crows manically dive into the monster and begin to merge each other into a pool of unidentifiable gore.
you've gone weak in the knees, but she catches you, still grasping you by your soft cheeks. the fear in your eyes glints against the excitement of hers as her thumbs brush the sweat and tears off your face.
there's a sort of ownership in her hold that's never felt safer to you before now.
#this was really helpful to explore her character a bit more!! if anyone thinks differently about the way im interpreting her so far pls !!!!#CONVO WITH MEEEEE i love getting different povs#esp since i havent written much for her :))#reader constantly having to prove themselves to her...wanting to serve her as well as possible#what i think separates reader's devotion to mei mei from others (like ui's for example) is that as they both mature mei mei recognizes that#it might not only belong to her. like i see reader's loyalty here as so very vast based on how their relationship with mei mei formed them#like they don't know how else to live;;so when they meet other people they naturally fall into this sort of relationship all the time#i think she'd fight for that exclusivity ?? based on your history#she molded you into what you are. why would it belong to anyone else??#also she'd sorta be in denial about how codependent the relationship actually is#AGH IDK THIS IS VERY PRONE TO CHANGING BECAUSE IM STILL GETTING TO UNDERSTAND HER CHARACTER A BIT MORE#take what i say here with a grain of salt#thank u so much for the ask!#i hope u enjoy this!!! sorry i got so carried away LMAO#moss answers#moss writes
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how to analyze own writing without sounding insane..why is there no tutorial for this
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i have a song wip that i want to post soooo sooo badly but its hardly finished.,.,. but the song it's inspired by is coda: a burn scar in the perfect shape of the sooner state by los campesinos !
the fic is obvs about suguru because i am in fact predictable
#like its kind of ugly right now#been sitting in my drafts for months i tell you#ive been having a lot of trouble with the reader speciifcally in this one#which is odd because usually it's the first thing i flesh out#hopefully i figure it out soon!#moss speaks#Spotify
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i am almost done with this short story
#i have to edit so much tmr but guys i think we r going to make it#there are tears in my eyes#moss speaks
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Harplike tree splintering in the Forest of Dean
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you and suguru are constantly at each others throats and satoru's gen never found anything hotter...it doesn't help that the two of you fight in that way that tries to also seem civil. it's so disturbingly passive aggressive that the two of you don't even seem to realize how convoluted and incoherent the argument has become WHICH MAKES EVEN MORE WEIRDLY ATTRACTIVE because for some strange reason (suguru and reader secretly want to tongue each other) you both still keep the flames going and drag him into it
the idea of reader and suguru fighting over satoru is a really funny one because that man is horrid
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the idea of reader and suguru fighting over satoru is a really funny one because that man is horrid
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