more-than-the-air-i-breathe
Mortimer
The name that rolls off my tongue like smooth butter, the unsung poem stuck in my throat, the tragic love story with a pre-destined ending, the person I've been waiting for my whole life, yet whose departure I'm anticipating in horror for every single day.
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Hurts. Sinking. No pities. N o pities please. I don't want pity. No kisses no headpats is fine. Is perfectly fine.
No kisses, no headpats. Is fine.
I don't want to be romantic. I don't want to be sexual. I'm not romantic.
I'm not sexual.
I don't want anything.
I don't want anything at all!
I can just be.
I don't want anything anymorr.
I don't wanna be a bother. I don't wanna be a nuisance.
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I feel embarrassed. I have interrupted gege twice when gege trying to play resident evil. Im such an annoyance. Such a bother. Such a disappointment. Such bad boyfriend. I don't wanna be a bother. I don't wanna be. Gege no headpats. I know I bother. No headpats. No headpatsm no deserve touch. No touch. No gege. No deserve gege. No deserve. No. Nothing no nonobononononono.
No deserve gege anymore.
No deserve.
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At first I thought it only happened as a pms. But now I think it's more like.. Constant. I feel lovesick. I miss Mortimer. I want to cry. I feel like I'm bursting out of my own skin. The feeling feels violent. I love Josée gege but it feels like I love Mortimer even more.
What if I'm not meant to be with this system? Ip don't know if it's possible but it also feels like it could be an impostor's syndrome? I feel miserable.
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Sến súa có, tiêu cực có, vừa ngọt vừa đắng. Con có đọc thì lựa thời khắc thích hợp mà đọc. Không đọc cũng được.
I just wanted to talk to somebody.
|| I feel lovesick. I want to be with him all the time but I don't wanna bother him. It makes my chest feel like there's a blackhole and it's sucking me in. It hurts, like I'm falling from somewhere really high up, the same feeling you get when you ride a rollercoaster. It feels kinda awful.
I have been with him almost everyday since April and to my observation, he has only grown more perfect in my eyes since then.
I want to be with him all the time and I want his attention all the time.
Cậu ấy rất ôn nhu, rất bao dung.
||
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I was right from the very start.
Hurts chest
Difficult to breath
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Im so sorry gege I texted. is houldnt have. That was selfish of me.
I don't t really want to be alone.
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Do not ignore me please!
This feels veey weird... i have never felt like this of a person before.
This feels very very weird. My chest hurts so much.
I
Fmbreathibg is difdiculr
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"You take my breath away"
Good. That's how I feel every time I think about you.
I wish I could be with you everyday.
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I shouldn't have eaten. I should starve.
I want to starve.
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I don't know if this relationship will work out... I am scared and anxious and I don't know anything. Despite the similarities, I sometimes still feel like we are too different. Like people from completely different worlds. You canno talk about the ocean to a frog in the well neither can you talk about the winter to summer bugs. What if I'm just doomed to be alone? I feel so lonely.
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Why don't you ever reply to me anymore?
Have you finally realized that I am not the one you love? Or are ypu just getting tired of me?
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