PSCHOSY

so i live with a psycho.

it’s not fun when you move in with someone you think is going to be an absolutely amazing housemate and all of a sudden it turns sour out of no where. you learn too many things about a person when you live with them and unfortunately i feel i’ve lost a best friend because of this. it’s too real when someone you admire so much turns for the worst and doesn’t understand when you want to just come home and lock yourself in your room to avoid being around them. it’s not fair on anyone when this stuff happens but frankly when all you want is out, there’s no where else to go but reside in your room with big headphones blocking the sounds of them making their dinner in the living room next to you. all you feel is anger and you dream of screaming at them and letting everything out, maybe even throwing your old coffee in their face too. no amount of “chats” can solve something fucked and broken, especially when the 3 hour “chats” consist of 80% of said person talking in circles and not letting you get a word in, or worse, not even trying to listen or understand anything you say directly to their face. i feel bad for my other housemate. she’s amazing, i wasn’t as close to her until i moved in and we just clicked and it’s not that we’ve become amazing BFFL’S4LYF, we just click and it works. i work full time, weird unordinary hours, and she works casually and studies full time, and we just understand that we aren’t always free and enjoy that we both have lives. i love sitting there watching her assassinate rich businessmen on her games and just in silence, but the psycho thinks of that as ~we’re hanging out just us and no one else, it’s OUR time~. no. i walk in the room with my phone in hand, constantly on it and watch her play games cos it’s fun and i love the stories of the games as i used to play them when i was little and because it helps me zone out from a long days work cos it’s completely mind numbing and helps me wind down. 

we get invited to things, but she doesn’t, and she considers that a form of “bullying” (as she said in the 3 hour “chat”). we have mutual friends with a lot of people, but those people who invite good housemate and i to those things aren’t friends with psycho anymore. she was invited to all those things, and went to about 10% of them (if that), excusing herself because of work or just not even going cos she didn’t “feel” like it, and expects to continue being invited when it’s known as a dead invite. lets be real too, if you’re going to excuse yourself from something because of work, 1, make sure you’re actually at work (cos people find this shit out) and 2, it’s barely an excuse anymore seeing we all work, and lots of people turn up after work. oh and also 3, don’t post anything about being drunk after work with your friends but say you “WISH YOU COULD BE THERE” (you obviously don’t...be real). sure, i don’t go to everything, but i make effort with everyone separately. i’m friends with everyone and people know i don’t go out anymore, neither does good housemate, but we still make the effort to hang out with our friends and love them whether it’s dinner or a drink or just hanging out punching darts and talking shit, it’s still effort. this all compared to someone who constantly messages people saying “we need to hang out” and never making a plan BUT whinges to everyone else who knows whoever she’s texted that that person won’t make a plan. YOU’RE AN ADULT (i think).....BE AN ADULT.

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what’s next? oh, maybe lets just talk about when i caved and told her that good housemate and i were moving out. asking me “how do we make this work” in one of the 3 hour “chats”; and me just having to cave and go “IT’S NOT WORKING, IT’S NOT GOING TO, WHICH IS WHY good housemate AND I ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW PLACE”. this followed with her going “ok i know it’s not working and i’m happy for you guys”...........yep she’s happy apparently. this then continued to her telling me “i told you before you moved in i didn’t want something like this to happen and it’s happened! you told me it wouldn’t!”. i tried to reason with her saying “how did i know that was going to happen?” which followed with her whinging and obviously not thinking like a normal fucking human being (because i don’t really think she is one). AM I A FUCKING FORTUNE TELLER? CAN I READ THE FUTURE? AM I TYLER FUCKING HENRY - TWINK PSYCHIC? NO. i’m a normal fucking ordinary boy who knows when you move in with friends it’s a risk, and at the time i wanted to take it considering i hated my old house. if i had known i would be sitting in my room right now wanting to block away a human from my life, i wouldn’t have moved out of my old place, especially knowing i was going to move out anyway because of this....you fuckwit. i really should have read all the signs being that every single person psycho has ever lived with wants to move out BECAUSE OF HER. you can’t blame me for saying something forever ago, especially when you told me for fucking AGES that i was going to move in and you strung me along for god knows how FUCKING long saying i would move in and the room is mine, then when it becomes available, tell me you’ll think about it and interview a couple people. oh...but your feelings were hurt. go fuck yourself. you say you’re an “amazing friend” and “care too much” but frankly, you only care about YOUR. FUCKING. SELF. no one else. and you can’t understand how anyone else thinks and don’t intend to try.

i get it, we’re all in our early 20s, we’re selfish as fuck, we’re unhealthy and majority of us are mentally unstable....but that’s cute when you’re 18-21....when you’re 22 you have the 22 year - when you start to grow the fuck up. at 23....almost 24, you should have gotten through it and become a real adult. if you have issues, sort them out. if you wake up feeling depressed, sort it out, don’t just lock yourself away and say “i don’t wanna go to uni”. it’s not cute anymore. we all need mental health days, but not when you barely do anything “guuuuuuuuurl”. 

this has gone on for far too long.....this post....and this stress.

final note, please, leave me the fuck alone, understand you ARE the problem, and kiss my ass

you rancid fucking cunt.

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p.s. feed your cat.