Afterthought

It felt like the last time I walked into this room was weeks ago. The usual solid click of the lock did nothing to ease my mind, not now. Almost automatically I walked past my damp bed, towards the full length mirror by the back wall. "Cochon," said my reflection.

I'd be covered in dust from head to toe if I hadn't walked back here in the rain. Grimy water dripping off my clothes and shoes, wet hair stuck to my face. I hadn't bothered to brush it aside as I usually would. My face was pale, bags had started to appear below my eyes. Apparently dreaming doesn't count as sleeping. Not anymore.

I followed my dirty locks and clothes down to my right hand. Only now did I realise that I was still clinging to that piece of door as if my life depended on it. Relaxing my grip, I brought it up higher and turned it around in my hand. It did not feel as heavy as I thought it should, but I lost every ounce of courage to keep holding on to it.

Leaving my ghastly reflection behind me, I put the shard down on my small desk. As I did, my hand bumped into a picture frame holding a picture of Laurent and I. This was when I spent a week or so at his house for summer break. I'd almost forgotten we did things like that together. A soft smile played on my lips as I reached for the picture until I saw flashes of what's been happening. The campfire, Valerie, blood, Laurent running. The hallway, scared students, dust, Laurent running. Suddenly, all comfort coming from the picture was lost.

Not knowing where to turn, I lowered myself to the floor, lying on the rough old carpet on my side and closing my eyes. I had to shut it all out. And I did.

Until, almost gently, murmurs came from the rooms around me. Voices that raised both heaven and hell inside me as I thought of my life since coming to Mossvale. I opened my eyes and spotted a glimmer on the floor in front of me. A small, shiny metallic bolt had tumbled underneath my bed. Reese had been showing off his newest creation some days before, while I stood at a safe distance. Victor and Ruaraidh bursted in bickering, followed by an exhausted looking Quentin. They accidentally knocked the contraption out of Reese's hands. All of us dived to the floor instinctually, hoping for the best. When nothing happened, we all had a good laugh about it.

I took the small bolt and clutched it to my chest, stalemate in my heart finally broken, and wept.

Things would be okay.