misanthropiczombie
Written Sin
A people trying to do people things, probably. Fraught from the womb
Find me on Redbubble: Paranoia404.redbubble.com
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ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn
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People talk about the surprise albums from people like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé that drop with zero warning but I have just been existing in this world where every album I've ever heard in my life has been a surprise album because I didn't know that musicians had schedules that we could see
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
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Just going to nip this in the bud now, but I will not be entertaining any "but what about/have you tried" suggestions in my inbox re: plastic straws.
If you message me about this, I'll be soft-blocking you.
I don't care how well-meaning your intentions are; your intentions don't mean shit when what you're actually saying is, "I am uncomfortable with your clearly stated needs as a disabled person and would rather you harm yourself than do something I have deemed immoral based on corporate greenwashing."
This is not up for debate. You either need to unpack the problematic elements of greenwashing on your own time and continue to be an ally to disabled people, or you need to own what you're actually saying and fuck off.
Anyway. Peace and love. Don't be ableist. Save a sea turtle, kill a big oil CEO ✌.
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Thank you for the glorious art!!
@misanthropiczombie took out a painterly commission for their druid ready to rip into someone. This was forty minutes as part of my commission sale!
Check out my pinned post or DM me about $20 for 20 minute commissions!
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One thing I’ve inherited from my mother is my feet. Not only are they the same size but we get the same utility out of them, which is to say both of our big toes are unusually long and flexible.
When she was pregnant my mom used this fact to just pick up things with her feet instead of bending down. She never lost the habit, so when I was young I hopped immediately on board the fun game of picking up stuff with my toes.
Laundry, pencils, I’ll casually grab stuff laying on the floor with my toes without bending down. It’s proven itself as a useful skill with my chronic illness or when my back is thrown out.
But there is a dark side to these toe powers. My mom uses her toes for evil more often than not. Because they’re ideal for pinching. A common cry in the house was my dad from their bedroom going, “Ah! Don’t pinch me!” Followed by my moms evil giggle.
Tragically it is so fun to use pinchy toes for evil. The most fun thing to grab is someone’s Achilles tendon or calves but y’know. They tend not to like it. Cause it pinches.
I’ve never done more than gently grip my betrothed with my pinchy toes, an act of love and a testament to my iron willpower because again, it’s so goddamn fun. But one night after they told me to knock it off I started telling them that my mom is always pinching my dad when they cuddle.
“It hurts?” they asked me in perplexity.
“Well yeah, like, I could be hurting you, but I’m not, because I love you. It so easy to pinch hard.”
They radiated disbelief at me.
“Do you need me to show you I can pinch hard enough to hurt?” I asked.
“Sure, show me.”
I greedily reached for their legs with my evil toes unleashed and in seconds they exclaimed, “Ow! How are you doing that!”
I snickered and subsided. They processed the breadth of my toe skills while I savored the tiny mischief I had indulged.
Finally they said, “I want to try.”
“Sure.” I laid passively while they clumsily attempted to grip any part of my leg between their toes. They grew increasingly frustrated while I stifled giggles. Their toes gripped helplessly at me like toothless gums, failing to gain purchase.
Finally they managed to grip my Achilles tendon and gave a triumphant laugh. By no definition was it remotely uncomfortable, let alone painful but I indulgently said, “Ow,” for them.
“Don’t patronize me,” they whispered venomously. Then they snuggled close and my toes returned to their humble life picking up socks that have fallen from the laundry basket.
#ayeeeeee same same here but its my grandma with the evil toes#also my husband who does not have anything resembling iron willpower#luckily i inhereted the evil toes so i can return fire but mostly so i can grab things
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"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick
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magma doodles lol (@sanlangsaturday ty for hosting ♡)
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I really expected the date on this to read 2013, not 2023.
the opposite if mwah is hawm. fucking bite you.
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(inspired by this one for the sake of full transparency)
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Same energy as when I received my pre-op phone call for my surgery, and the lady said I could drink whatever I want the night and morning before surgery except red gatorade or other red drinks, and I went full chemistry mode thinking that the red dye must bind to anaesthesia or something, and she was like "No, anaesthesia makes a lot of people nauseous post-surgery, and we really don't want to guess whether or not you're throwing up blood."
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