Reylo Angsty Drabble, because bad moods suck.
‘Please…’
The plea dragged her from sleep with the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal as her hand extended toward the phantom hand of her enemy, and her eyes tore from his brown ones to the lightsaber he held instead. She would take it, to defend herself, she had rationalized, to save everyone else, to keep his power at bay long enough so she could persuade him to do the right thing. The right thing that she knew lingered inside him, burned somewhere in his soul still split by his decisions. Wavering in the light that struggled not to be consumed by the shadow.
It would have been okay. If she was incapable of turning him she could have forced him. Beyond that? She would do what she had to do.
She would…
Would…
Rey dropped back to the firm bed, her palms pressing to her eyes. She would have taken the lightsaber, taken advantage of his prone plea just like Master Skywalker had hovered in his cowardice to slay the sleeping boy who had been under his care.
A twisted action built on the back of the “right thing” to do like that was any kind of foundation to keep hope alive.
The end of the First Order had been an arms length away, and she had lost. She was lost.
Not even moving rocks could fill the growing void.
There was a fury inside of her that lingered in the light of her own soul, a threatening shadow that twisted like a serpent, that sprung from her fingertips as she had torn the weapon from Kylo Ren’s grip. And there it still lingered. Toward herself, toward Master Skywalker, towards Ben Solo.
No…not Solo.
The thought of Han had Rey curling in her bed, the covers twisted around her legs trapping them more like a vice as she focused on the pain of the fabric against her bare skin instead of the burn of helpless tears behind her closed eyes.
She’d cried too much over things that couldn’t be changed.
‘Please…’ The memory of Kylo’s voice didn’t fade with the hum of the Falcon’s Engines, and in the safety of the small quarters she had taken over to finally rest, she lifted her hand and breathed.
No one would know. No one would sense the path she had felt the pull to go down, the temptation to rest her hand in his. No one was there but her as she took in a breath and exhaled as she let her mind take the alternate path. As she let her hand settle on Kylo’s outstretched one in the memory of the burning room on Snoke’s ship.
But where she had expected the cool, textured glove, she felt warmth and smooth skin as her hand sunk down through the air.
‘Please…’ His fragile whisper faded.
‘Please don’t go this way.’ Her own voice spoke out from the memory and then the sound around her muted.
Fear flashed through her first, violent and muscle tensing until the confusion took over. No, they couldn’t have been connected by the Force. Snoke was dead, there was no one left to bridge them.
“Who is doing this?” His voice was a tired rumble, fingers twitching lightly against the underside of her wrist that caused her pulse to flutter, and when she finally opened her eyes, she was greeted by his own.
They were shadowed, the hint of the bruising still under his right eye, but nothing compared to the darkness that lingered there now as his black hair stood out as starkly against the white pillow as his dark brown eyes did against the paleness of his face.
White sheets were pulled to his waist, chest partially exposed by his position of laying on his side, facing her just as she was him, and their hands rested together on the seem of their bed that were just touching.
“You’re haunting me.” He accused, and she said nothing as the air backed up in her lungs in her indignation.
“That’s my line.” Her words were more bitter than she would have liked, snapping from her lips like the crack of a whip as she moved to pull her hand free.
His fingers closed around her wrist and palm, his hand bigger warmer and holding a quiet strength despite the violence she knew was in him. “Don’t.”
“Let me go.” Her demand was met with a silent stare and she struggled not to read the look in his eyes, not to feel the surging guilt of the betrayal in them. Her betrayal, another failure. Yet he still held on to her.
It was desperation, she told herself. To turn her, to figure out their location as the Falcon flashed through hyperspace, further away from him than she would have ever of been before, and yet here he was as if they were laying in bed together.
The realization made her lips part, her cheeks flush as she turned her gaze from his.
“What are you thinking?” His own voice was a demand that held curiosity and she felt the brush of his mind against her own.
“Stay out of my head.” There was a flash of panic that had her eyes coming back to his own, and then she was trapped in his gaze as his fingers slowly relaxed their grip.
“I see.” It was said simply, and she was afraid he had seen.
“I’m not telling you where we are. You’re not going to find us, Master Skywalker made sure we could escape and I–…”
“Master Skywalker.” Kylo cut her off with a tired scoff. “That’s what you call Luke? Like he could train you, like he would even be capable of taking on someone like you.” Pausing, he shifted, his fingertips sliding against her wrist once again as this time he broke his gaze from hers to let his eyes close. “He was a master of nothing, and now he’s gone.”
“Because of you,” she felt the tears burn her throat, restricting her vocal cords. “It’s all because of you. Why couldn’t you just…”
As his eyes opened to gaze into her own once again the sound of the ship came rushing back, and the warmth of his hand faded away like it had never been there as the first of her tears slid a cool path down her hot cheek.
“Damn it.” Rey sobbed once and brought her hands to her face to hide away from the far dim light in the room. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been real. She told herself as her skin tingled from his phantom touch.
It had been another dream.
No, a nightmare.
Brushing away her tears a faint scent of soap lingered that she had smelled once before and her heart skipped a beat in her chest.
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