Hello Tumblr been a minute since I've left my musings here figured its better than Facebook soooo. Where do I start I guess I start with my frustrations I left bryan 4 years ago because surprise he was abusing me the whole time physically and mentally and its frustrhow gas lit I was by him and his friends to not go to the police and what not I wish I would of. I deal with ptsd nightly I lock all my doors and jump at any noise which leave me awake just staring at the wall I hope one day I can sleep comfortably again :( I miss goth night again my own doing i guess idk it was a combination of bryan feeding me lies about how everyone proceving me and him lying to the top club people saying he never abused me and I forgave him which for the record no.. I never forgave him. I'm frustrated because the amount of friends I actually have is quite low not saying I need tons of friends but even with my wonderful boyfriend it gets real fucking lonely sometimes but what am I gonna do

Life

Fucked up brain fucked up life. Why do I think things would change idk I need to move on from a lot of things maybe I will with time but idk

Right person wrong time sigh

But when I fantasize at night It's Alexander's eyes As I romanticize what might Have been if I hadn't sized Him up so quickly At least my dear Eliza's his wife; At least I keep his eyes in my life…

Hello

I am back after a long hiatus does anyone even use Tumblr anymore? Lol well I'm gonna be posting on here a lot

Love it

Christina Hock

So my life is complete lin Manuel miranda as Sweeney Todd *loud sighs*

@Lin_Manuel: But the work waits…#easterbonnet

love this!

Christina Hock

so listening to in the heights after bingeing on hamilton is confusing and amazing i need more lin-manuel in my life!!!

Happiness

So i think im ready for a relationship with another female again, there's a girl me and the hubby have met thats purely fwb but the things that come with it like cuddles and stuffs has made me reopen to the idea

This!

RIP to one of the greatest actor of our generation rip Alan Rickman

rip my goblin king you will forever be missed, you were the soundtrack to my childhood and eyecandy for when i was a teenager, your music will live on for generations to come

2015 what can i say you were a rough year probably the roughest one yet, my grandmother passed away this year as did a lot of friends, i learned what my passion in life is, and gained a lot of friends along the way, i learned its now how we say i love you but how we show it and how we must appreciate the people we have in our lives, me at 22 and 23 is the age that shaped me and help me set goals in life, 2016 you got a big year to live up to lets keep this one a positive one, peace and love ~jody

strawberry gashes

blah i hate myself so much i let a good friend of mine die because i refused to see her due to my stubbornness and not liking her bf maybe if i would of hung out with her i could of saved her....

I miss you

I miss the way i felt around you, the way you made me smile or the way you could act silly around me and not give a fuck, you left this world far too soon panda i just need to remember that it cant rain all the time and that you are not in pain anymore still doesnt stop me from missing you tho

So me and hubby are going to try and concieve soon and im so freaking nervous i want a baby but what if im not that good of a mom i mean i dont wanna make the same mistakes my mother made and fuck up my kid i think me and bryan will do well i mean we will show our baby unconditional love and will provide them with whatever their heart desires it still nerve racking tho

So the ex gf erin is pregnant lmao the one thing she dreaded was an unplanned baby happy to say when me and my hubby start trying in march our baby is 100% planned and my hubby isnt sucking off welfare ^_^ good luck erin you truly got the life you deserved :) karma may be a bitch but im a bigger one ; )